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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Evening Wankers.How are you all this evening?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:04,
290 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
Evening Jeff.I'm good thanks, still plugging away at my application (although I've had a two hour break from it). How are you?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:07,
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Not bad at all thanks.I've also been doing some work on the employment front, there is every change the contract I'm working on will come to an end around Christmas time, if not sooner, so I've been updating my C.V accordingly and speaking to a few agencies.
How much more work have you got to do on your application?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:09,
Reply)
Not a lot really.Just the spiel on how my experience makes me the ideal candidate for the job, and some examples of how I meet their seven key values. I've done three, but they've stipulated no more than fifty words per value, which isn't a lot. So I'm trying to think of stuff that can be easily articulated without having to go into a lot of background detail.
Hope you make progress.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:14,
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There is nothing urgent about my situation at the moment, only that I know I won't have enough cash saved by Christmas to jump on a plane and go away for a month or two, so a bit of planning is in order.
What sort of values are they looking for answer on?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:19,
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Customer focusOpenness, respect, integrity, innovation, reliability and motivation. I can answer them, but fifty words is a bit tight.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:29,
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I can't imagine it's that easy to complete.But on the plus side, any job that provides a challenging application process will get fewer applicants for it. Most people will just post their C.V online and then wait and see what happens.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:31,
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I've filled in similar types of application beforebut none have had such a restrictive word count. Still, it's an online form that can be saved, and I've got all week to do it but I'd like to have it out of the way by Wednesday at the latest.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:34,
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Does the website of the recruiting company expand on their values?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:37,
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Good point, I haven't actually checked.I saw the job on another website.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:39,
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It might just be one of those questions people ask to show you've researched the role.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:40,
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True.A job for tomorrow I think.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:43,
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Meanwhile, chill - drink beer and watch some telly.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:45,
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I have wine, will that do?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:53,
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That's a cunt.What's the next plan PD?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:21,
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was it as Fiona Bruce's training bra?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:21,
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i'm just so jealous of her(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:28,
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There's a lot of folk who turn the volume down and masturbate to her moving face on the news, mumbling stuff like "fuck me yeah good"I see why you're jealous
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:32,
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it's what every woman wants(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:36,
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I thought it was massive tits, a pert arseand the ability to eat chocolate like forever and not gain any weight.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:37,
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and all the shoes you can eat(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:38,
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And all the cake you can wear.Handbags as far as the eye can see, and lashings of spunk.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:40,
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Oh dear, how many have you applied for?I nearly made it to the post office with that mix cd today. Will try tomorrow.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:22,
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just the two.Turned down for both. I'm limited to York and Leeds due to mortgage.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:23, Reply)
Things were shit ten years ago when I did mine, no doubt they're abysmal at present. Have bags, will travel? Rent the house out and get a contract elsewhere. At least you ain't tied down by a wife or kids.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:27,
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I'm too old now and my A Levels are only BCE.I have a 2.1 and lots of compliancy experience, maybe I'll just have to do GDL part time or something.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:31, Reply)
What is it you do?Genuine interest.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:35,
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DB?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:53,
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Ah, right.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:56,
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Nah I did the lpc part time, and there were loads of punters in their 30's and 40's just starting out, you've got plenty of time.Being tied to a relatively small geographic area could set you back for years unless you're willing to move to another part of the country.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:35,
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not bad, our jeffi am waiting on a decision about whether i can purchase a house or not. Scary stuff
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:21,
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I can't imagine you'll hear anything at this time of night.I suggest you go to the shops, get yourself a box of FAB ice-lollies, and some cider.
And when you come back, get the glass off your bathroom floor. Then drink and eat and enjoy your Monday evening.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:23,
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no, probably not until tomorrow nowbut tonight is orchestra practise then the pub quiz then sleeping. The glass is in one place on the floor now, that's progress
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:27,
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nopeno time. eating tea now, have to leave in quarter of an hour
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:30,
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Before you go and blow a pink flute.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:38,
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ummost men's willies don't have holes on the side, jeff
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:40,
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That depends on whether they try to fuck hedgehogs or not.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:41,
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I am somewhat irkedby tennis boy. For a change. Apparently my polite refusal to talk further and decision to go to bed instead of start an argument about him taking me for granted means that I am a stroppy cow and he is now mad with me. And of course yet again it falls to me to be the adult one and offer the olive branch.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:23, Reply)
berk, berk berk....He just misses you. I'm sure if you spent more time together, you'd not have half of these issues.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:24,
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Possiblyeither that or I'd reach my tolerance threshold for bullshit in a couple of days and break both his legs.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:32, Reply)
Chances are you're a bit tired as stressed as well, after a busy weekend and starting a new job.So maybe you didn't quite reach your usual level of tollerance.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:35,
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And you did tell him you were going to a geekfest on the weekend.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:36,
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I know the whole mortgage issue is making him very stressedbut that's hardly my fault. Given how knackered and nervous I was last night he's lucky I didn't flip out and tell him to do one. He never even wished me good luck for today and I would bet a whole five internet pounds he won't ask me how it went.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:44, Reply)
*BEAMS AT HAVING EXCEEDED TENNIS BOY!*(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:44,
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Well I'm glad your first day went well.You gonna chill with your housemates this evening?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:16,
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I don't really see themthere's no shared area in the house, bar the kitchen. I'll chat to whoever's in there the same time as me, but otherwise we all keep ourselves to ourselves really.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:19, Reply)
Sound perfect.Are you shattered after your first day?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:20,
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It wasn't especially taxingI'm tired, but that's more due to having not caught up after weekend shenanigans. I did not enjoy having to get up at 6:45 though, or the fact that I will be out of the house for 11 hours every day.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:25, Reply)
You'll get used to it.Would driving be an option in the future?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:27,
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Not reallythere's a bus direct to the hospital from one of the park and rides but that's £2 a day on top of petrol, and I don't much fancy tackling the M40 in rush hour, either - it'd probably still be the same travelling time and I'd get a fat arse.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:32, Reply)
And it won't give you the killer legs your folding bike can offer.If the way the weather has changed here this evening is anything to go by, you'll be needing lights on your bike tomorrow.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:33,
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I needed lights on my bike tonightI ingeniously fitted (read: bodged) one but I needed a screwdriver to sort the other. I'll do it in a bit.
And yes, given that it is uphill for two of the three miles from the station to work, I will shortly regain steel thighs and a pert bottom.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:36, Reply)
^ Regarding the successfully bodged light fitting :)Refuses to take advantage of someone who is vulnerable because their boyfriend is trying to get a mortgage
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:38,
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And indeed wished you luck the day before.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:48,
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Oh fabulous ! That'll be a win-win for everyone involved, especially me, which at the end of the day, counts the most.You get to smash someone's legs in (I suggest one knee cap and opersite elbow, but it's up to you really, I honestly don't mind).
He gets something new to bitch and moan about.
And I get to live in fleeting hope for a moment or two longer.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:43,
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Repeat everything in a high piched mock girls voice.That's an auto-win for an argument.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:29, Reply)
Don't forget to suddenly bring up past argumentsthat he thought were long forgotten.
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Kroney, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:00,
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And his tiny cock.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:01,
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It was a cheap gag and I'm sorry.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:19,
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I could tell him that I consider his manhood to be less than averagebut that really isn't the placating manner I was going for this evening.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:20, Reply)
I don't know Tennis Boy, but I'd imagine you telling him that won't improve his mood at all.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:21,
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I'd consider "less than average"as something of a compliment. I'd walk around with my chest all puffed out and stuff.
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Kroney, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:27,
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Surely if you puff your torso out, it'll make your cock look smaller?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:28,
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Yeah but that'd be oksince a man with only a less than average penis has length to spare.
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Kroney, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:31,
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There's some sort of zen double negative thing going on hereit's too much for my exhausted brain to deal with.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:33, Reply)
Blue urinal blocks are made from Smurf shit.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:34,
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I saw this picture once of a man with a tattoed dragon on his penis, with a tube that goes up through the penis and out a little hole, that he hooked up to a gas tank, which he set on fire.I think that was the most impressive penis I've ever seen.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:54,
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NSFWroeiboot.com/funny/Pics/dragon_penis.jpeg
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:55,
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As a fellow tattoo'd man, I have to respect him for that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:58,
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How is your tatt doing Gonz? Not too itchy I hope.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:59,
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Alright Jeff?It's alright, doesn't itch at all, it's like it's not there (in terms of any sort of pain/scabbing/itching/whatever).
I like it, but when I told the doctor this morning he said "Oh, from The Lion King?", and quite a few collegues have said that too. I know it's a natural conclusion, but it's a bit '=/' that someone would think that a first tattoo would be from a disney film. Mind you, the disney film might mean a lot to someone, so I guess that's cool too.
I think it's the most supprising thing I've done though, no one expects me to have one, espesh people who know me and my needlephobia.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:07,
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Had you been planning it for a while?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:09,
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There are 3 Tats that I've wanted for about 5 years now.- Hakuna Matata
- Munish Tuhna Alilah Ah-ha-zair ('Why should this night be different from all others')... but in hebrew script. It was another expresion my Dad used.
- "Honor Thy Father" (and eventually) "; and they mother", again, in hebrew.
I was sitting around talking to Tu' about it on friday night and then on saturday she said "Do you still want to do it?" and I was like "You know what? Yeah', I do.". So I did. Tu' is an amazing person, totally seriously love her.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:13,
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Even if she did get called your mother.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:16,
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Tourette's is like the internet's universal mumthe lovely one off adverts, except with more swearing and farting.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:18, Reply)
One can only assume that either DG is some sort of God.Or that he is punching well above his weight!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:19,
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Funnily enough,my first name means 'like unto God' in Hebrew. So you're sort of right.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:27,
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Does your surname means'One punch'?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:30,
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I believe my surnameis of Irish extraction, but I'm not going to state the meaning on here!
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:31,
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Damn.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:44,
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Hah, totally.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:37,
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That's why I married her.She's waxing lyrical on the phone to her mum about your cooking on Friday night.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:20,
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=DIt's all a euphanisum for "Amazing food".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:36,
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Having drilled a hole in his cockto make it breathe fire, I'd go further than "impressive", I think I'll upgrade it to full-on "terrifying"
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Kroney, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:56,
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And how would he know when he was suffering from cystitis?It burns! It burns!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:58,
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Commitment to a cause, I suppose...even if the cause is being a raging headwrong.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:04, Reply)
*Scrubs off list of 'Things To Get Berk To Marry Me'*I'll be honest with you here Berk, 100% honest, I'm glad about this one.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:09,
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I really like it.Not many sitcoms float my boat, but it does have some genuine lol moments. I've missed most of this series though.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:36,
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I saw it on Fridaywhich I think is the only episode of this series I have seen. The one with the ventriloquists dummy?
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:38,
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Oh yeah...(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:42,
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Okay thanks Jeffjust cooked dinner.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:49,
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I cooked standard chicken breast/ bacon/ stuffing and jacket potatos/ vegetables for my family. And chicken noodle soup, with some fried onion in it for me
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:58,
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Sounds rather nice.Has your health improved from yesterday?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:17,
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Very very fullBut oh so happy.
I got some hot & spicy sausages from the butcher at the weekend, my god they're good.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:49,
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I just had these in a sandwichI've not decided what to do with the rest of them yet though.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:53,
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Casserole of some kind?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:55,
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Spicy sausage casserole could well be on the horizon...(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:03,
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I bet you got some 'hot and spicy sausage from the butcher'you filthmonger.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:54,
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Well, I say butcher, I mean it's simply a shop attached to an abattoir. And it's ridiculously cheap.I bought a pack of diced chuck steak, a pack of pork steaks, a rabbit, a T-Bone steak, 3 packs of bacon (8 rashers each), and the sausages (about 14 in the box) for £25
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:10,
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I didn'tdespite deliberately setting out to do so at the weekend. Sad times.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:16, Reply)
Good, I just got my new hard drive deliveredso industrial scale piracy, suspended for a short period due to budgetary constraints will now, with this new Governmental initiative, strive to make up for lost time.
I'm going to have a cinema in my house.
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Kroney, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 18:59,
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You should download some of those Johnny Depp films.You'll be able to make a cinema that specialises in Pirate films! Arrr!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:19,
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Very well thanks.Still walking round with a stupidly big grin on my face after yesterday.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:09, Reply)
Alright Bazza.things are less rosey in the Bristol City camp.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:17,
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WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY BARRY?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:17,
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CANCEL THAT BARRY, IT'S THE FOOTBALL ISN'T IT(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:18,
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Frankly, I'm stunned that Newcastle remain unbeaten in the leagueand are sitting at fourth in the table.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:30,
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It's fucking ridiculous.The first eleven at NUFC is beyond shocking.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:53, Reply)
A young woman is trying to learn to play the guitar. Just as she is about to complete playing a difficult chord progression, a man leans through the window and shouts: "TOI-HOI-HOI-HOI-HOI-HOI-LET!".
"What?!" cries the woman as she messes up. She looks through the window and sees no one. She returns to her guitar, and resumes playing. Just as she is about to get it right, once again a man leans through the window and shouts "TOI-HOI-HOI-HOI-HOI-HOI-LET!".
"Gaaaaaaah!" shouts the woman as she messes up again. She looks out the window - again, no one there. She resumes playing the guitar. Just as she is about to play it correctly, the same man leans through the window and has a heart attack and dies.
The woman stares down at her empty hands, as her guitar has suddenly vanished.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:29,
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I was thinking that.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:40,
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I think it's one of those trick questions you have to think about.Well either that or he's having a nervous breakdown.
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girlinthehole, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:40,
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I've been having a breakdown since the moment of birth.It's called life.
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The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:54,
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I was going to go to the gym but I went straight home after work and................GOT SHIT DONE!!I still feel like meh though.
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girlinthehole, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:29,
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What have you got to feel 'meh' about Blousie-girl?No one else is able to boast a hole in one!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:30,
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Post weekend blues.And I'm not drinking to self medicate. *pats self on back*
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girlinthehole, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:32,
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I know what you mean.I've had a couugh since last Thursday. I'm having a few nights off the sauce and I'm replacing it was Benylin.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:35,
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I've got a week of crap to get through and then a stressful weekend.After that should be plain sailing.
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girlinthehole, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:42,
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You'll be sailing.You'll be sailing....
Home again... Across the sea...
Did you enjoy your 3-day-bash-fest?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:43,
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Very much so.Now got the Manchester bash at the end of this month to look forward to.
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girlinthehole, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:59,
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I'm pretty sure more London events will be forthcoming.(
girlinthehole, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:02,
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Obviously, bashes with a golfing bent will be looked upon more favourably.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:31,
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Night Nurse is the only Over The Counter that I know of that can get me nicely fucked./ac
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:40,
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Actually I'm not as happy as I was. Seeing as the nuts girl text me earlier and said she forgives me for what I said (I never apologised) and hopes we can carry on as normal. I might move.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:55, Reply)
But she lives four doors down and I am genuinely afraid I'll wake up to see her staring at me through my window.God knows what she'll do if I tell her to fuck off. I would ignore her texts and calls but she knocks for me if I do that and my mates think it's hilarious to let her in.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:00, Reply)
Tell her you can't see her anymore as you need to spend more time with your coats.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:03,
Reply)
She did call me a freak when she saw my shoes actually.It was never going to work out from then.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Tell her your shoes are second to your jackets as friends as you've no room for mental clunge in your life.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:06,
Reply)
She definitely is a mental piece of clunge. "I can't believe you're ignoring me, on my birthday as well" is the latest text. God knows how I was meant to know, I'm throwing my phone in a river.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:37, Reply)
Tell her...'I thought if I ignored you on your special day, you'd finally get the message'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:40,
Reply)
I guess that's what is wrong with the whole "Girl next door" fantasy.... ... that she's, erm, err, next door. It should be that she eaither lives with you, or doesn't. No half way marks.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:39,
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Evening yourself.I'm stupidly perky despite being on day one of what is essentially a diet (going under the name of 'cutting back on extras/sweets/desserts').
What's going on with everybody, then?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:50,
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Gloomy, you must've stolen my willpowerbecause today is the first day I've broken my diet, after absolutely weeks. How's Mr B3th doing?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:54,
Reply)
Still hobbling about like a cripple.He staggered off to work, went up some stairs, and fell over again. I think I've talked him into taking tomorrow off.
are you finding it hard to get back to it because you took a weekend off?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:58,
Reply)
Didn't even get a proper weekend off :(I keep being sick when I eat actual food. But picking is bad for me, and something I'm trying not to do
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:59,
Reply)
If it's not a silly suggestionhave you tried making sure you eat at least some protein with every 'meal' you eat? And are you drinking enough water?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:01,
Reply)
About five pints a day or soand yeah lots of protein since I like it a lot more than most stuff
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:56,
Reply)
Hey you!it has been brought to my attention that Wookey Hole has a pirate themes crazy golf!
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 20:59,
Reply)
You're joking?EDIT: Oh wow!
www.wookey.co.uk/pirate-island-adventure-golf/
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:01,
Reply)
B3th, B3th, B3th...www.wookeyhotel.co.uk/offers/
They've got disabled rooms. You could take the fella with ya!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:07,
Reply)
Nah.But I think Wookey would make a fun day out for another bash.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:08,
Reply)
Is it not a bit of a pain to get to?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:10,
Reply)
Somewhere off the Wells road, isn't it?I think you can get to it from the A38 though. I'm not sure, because every time I've been, someone else has been driving.
Also, have I scared everyone else off? There were lots and lots of people here before....
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:11,
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It definitely took me a few days to recover, and I only had the one day to get over.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:19,
Reply)
It's all that dust in the bar.Bound to play havoc with anyone.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:21,
Reply)
I only hope they acted promptlyand had a serious word with the cleaning staff.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:22,
Reply)
Well, they have received feedback.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:26,
Reply)
Personally, I would adore to meet you one day.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:24,
Reply)
Well, you never know, Gonz.If you wish really really hard, it may happen/.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
Oh man, I love crazy golf, there is a place in Aberdeen that is AMAZING for that, it was indoors and like jungle/aztek style.Actually, hold on, Azteks were in the jungle, why on Crystal Maze was Aztek Zone all desert?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:24,
Reply)
Becaus ethe Crystal Maze was LIESEvening Gonz. How's your bad self?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:24,
Reply)
Yeah', but it was awesome, it's one of the shows (ignoring prizes) that I would like to go on the most.I reckon of someone set up a themepark type thing, maybe with say 6 or 8 zones, where you get 20mins in each zone (thus being able to hand 6 or 8 groups at one time), it'll make a fortune. It would be good for birthdays or corporate events.
I'm doing pretty gosh darn dandy thanks, I got my treatment on Wed and normally in the weeks runnign up to it I'm in a really bad way.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:51,
Reply)
What 'bout you?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:51,
Reply)
Oww Gonz!Are you challenging me to a game of crazy golf? I warn you now, if this is a challenge, I'll have Amberl as my caddy. Just in case you try and cheat.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:27,
Reply)
Are you suggesting she could aim a golf ball at Gonz's face too?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
No, Amberl could just 'cover my back' in case it all comes on top and people need a slap.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:29,
Reply)
Fuckin' NAILS is our Amberl.I made her wait with me until my bus arrived when we got home, just in case it got a bit naughty.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
I was WELL scared leaving the station without her to protect me.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:35,
Reply)
I've been fine every since 'cos I got myself a 'I know Amberl' t-shirt printed up.
I got a seat on the train and everything when I was wearing it.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:37,
Reply)
Damn.All I've got is a 'Ginormous innum' T-Shirt.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:40,
Reply)
But both t-shirts speak the truth!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:41,
Reply)
I bet people can tell what your says though."What? Gin mouse what?"
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:42,
Reply)
Pick ee out the stingers!I know my Bristolian.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:47,
Reply)
Adge Cutler at his finest!www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-I48sb2R_c&feature=related
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:53,
Reply)
I want one that says 'I do all my own stunts'it's desperately shit and sad but for some reason I find it really amusing.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:41, Reply)
I'd get Blousiepopculturetees.com/
The Keep Calm and Kill Zombies t-shirts, but I'd get the wrong size and she'd hate me.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:46,
Reply)
No, but she could get Jeff Bridges in there too(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:50,
Reply)
I've got no idea how Mr Bridges feels about Zombies.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:51,
Reply)
Well, I'm sure you'll be having a birthday next year....(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:52,
Reply)
Ha!that's ace. It wouldn't be nearly as funny if it weren't for the bloodstains.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:48, Reply)
There are lots of amusing Zombie t-shirts around.If only Zombies hadn't failed in the 'bender' test.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:50,
Reply)
I've not looked at threadless in a while, when they have a sale it's mint.The t-shirts are dirt cheap then.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:54,
Reply)
I know, it's greatbut you can never buy more than two, or you get whapped with a customs charge.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:55, Reply)
I'm gonna go and have a look at the threadless website RIGHT NOW!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:00,
Reply)
I'll bet Cavy would love the Bill and Ted/Doctor Who t-shirt.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:06,
Reply)
I need to have a proper browse.The site is loading a bit slow for me.
Anyway, berk. I'm off to bed. I hope your second day is no more stressful than your first day.
Sleep well, have a nice cycle and I hope you've got your lights sorted out!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:22,
Reply)
I haven't.bugger - I'll stick a screwdriver in my bag and sort it at work tomorrow. Nightynight.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:25, Reply)
That be one bitch I don't wanna mess with, shit would be fucked up BIG time, yo'.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:52,
Reply)
So if we play Crazy Golf Gonz, you promise not to cheat.....(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:55,
Reply)
Boobs would probably aid my 'stroke'hahahahahaha
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:03,
Reply)
She's the only golfer where a hole-in-three is better than a whole-in-one.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:14,
Reply)
Me and me mates have Clubbed together to get a Birdy, we did have an offer on someone but she was bellow Par, so are you up for it instead?Silly me, of Course you Wood, Tee-hee-eee.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:22,
Reply)
Honestly, you get one little tattoo, and you turn into the fonz...(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:40,
Reply)
Hah, I should have worked Iron into that too. Fonz is a weird one, adult hanging around school kids, totally not on in today's standard.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:45,
Reply)
Gonz I saw earlierthat you were surprised people associated Hakuna Matata with the Lion King, but I've honestly never heard of it outside of that. Where's it from?
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:43,
Reply)
Oh okaynothing wrong with that
(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:45,
Reply)
Oh nono, not supprised, it's a natural conclusion, and what I would think of first if I didn't know my life properly.When I was a child, I went on holiday to Kenya quite a bit, and my Dad used to say when I was worried or stressed or anything like that, even in the height of depression and anxiety issues "Hakuna..... Hakuna....." unti eventually I would say "Matata", which was a way of placating me and showing that whatever the bad thing was, that it's over and no need to worry about it anymore. This was before Lion King was out.
It's swahili for "No problem".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:49,
Reply)
So did iyou like the Lion King because of that?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:54,
Reply)
Kindda, I think I would have liked it anyway, it was a good cartoon when I was a kid, came out at the right time and age for me to enjoy it.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 23:31,
Reply)
Deffo, as long as we move the max shots to 30 per hole.Actually, there is a golf course about 10 minutes from my new place, I think it's a pitch'n'put, but I'm looking forward to getting a few clubs.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:13,
Reply)
Have you had an offer accepted on a place now?That's great news.
Linky?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:14,
Reply)
We're putting in an offer tomo, doubt they'll take it, but hopefully we'll settle correctly.Got a big advantage in the respect that buyers are thin on the ground.
This is the place: www.enfieldgolfclub.co.uk/
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:18,
Reply)
I'd just like to say...That Golf in Weston cost just £1.60 per person, a 6-month membership here costs £500.
I'm not sure I'd get value from the Enfield Golf Club.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:21,
Reply)
Oh, I didn't see the whole membership thing, totally not spending £500 on it.There is a bus I can get to Oakwood golf club instead, which also has a driving range.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:24,
Reply)
Driving ranges are good.You can knock the shit out of a bucket full of balls for fuck all squared!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:25,
Reply)
The only thing I don't like about it is the constant bending down to T up, normally you only do that 18 times a game....... where as doing it 100 odd times in an hour or soo can really do someone's back in. I've seen automated ones, which look cool, but never used one.
When I was a kid, they'd give us a quid for every carrier bag me and me mates would pick up from around the edge of the course and range.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:43,
Reply)
Aha!Someone else is here! How the devil are you?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:14,
Reply)
I believe it was DG who first said'everything feels better after a nice poo' or something.
Man had a point.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:16,
Reply)
Go and have a nice dump, then come back all refreshed.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:18,
Reply)
where are all the old skool OT krew anyway?I barely recognise any of you quendophiles. Not even Shy FX's Bambaataa can shake me from this torpor.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:27, Reply)
You've had a shit day.Are you going to re-apply for stuff in a few months?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:33,
Reply)
Well you need to make one.Any marketing qualifications you can take that'll allow you to move in slightly different directions?
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:40,
Reply)
You're a dsylexic short of five pounds? :)(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 21:48,
Reply)
Apparently they're realeasing ICO and Shadow of the Colossus on PS3 as classic games.If I had a PS3 I could quite possibly get very excited about this.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:03,
Reply)
If you win enough tokens on THE PIER you might be able to get a PS3(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:07,
Reply)
I'm sure it would only take a gazillion tokens(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:08,
Reply)
I'm guessing it would be cheaper to buy one.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:08,
Reply)
As if I needed anotjer reason to get fuck all done...(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:11,
Reply)
You should have given me a copy of your C.V - Like I asked you.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:14,
Reply)
I was going to print it out on Friday morningbut by teh time we'd finished fannying about at teh hospital, there wasn't any time left for printer-based shenanigans.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:18,
Reply)
Fair enough.You could always e-mail it to me.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:18,
Reply)
I am.I can Gaz you an e-mail address if you want to send it over, although I might not be able to look at it 'till later this week.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:23,
Reply)
Yeah', I ain't played those two, but I really want them.Shadow of the Colossus plays a big part in one of my favorite unknown films, 'Reign Over Me'.
The third one in the trillogy will be out next year (I think).... www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4E0e-ZCn14
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:30,
Reply)
I tried Ico, but that girl got right on my tits after about five minutesHaven't don SoC yet, but the artwork looks great.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:35,
Reply)
Cool, I *think* SoC won the first video game BAFTA or something like that.I never had a PS1/2, so skipped those games, but they do look like awesome works of art.
I think the most impressive game I've played, in terms of scale, is God Of War 3. There is a bit where your running through a forrest killing bad guys when the whole word suddenly tips and it zooms out to realise you're on the arm of a Titan.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:51,
Reply)
Perhaps if you were gayeryou'd win. It seems to work for some people....
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 22:59,
Reply)
i didn't know you were gaydoes your husband know?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 23:00,
Reply)
Oh yeah. i totally love the cock, me.That means I'm gay, right?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 3 Oct 2011, 23:03,
Reply)
*looks offended**stops wanking*
Hi Jeff, I'm just back from a free screening of 'Real Steel'. It was an appallingly manipulative film that was just enough fun to make me not mind so much. I took the two middle boys (9 and 11) with me and their enjoyment helped me enjoy it more, plus there was a seriously attractive bad actress in it (not Evangeline Lilly)
^googles*
Ah, she's one of those model/actresses by the name of Olga Fonda.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 23:15,
Reply)
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