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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833, ... 1

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OK, looks like we might be done with the rape thread. Probably no bad thing.
So, on a topic less likely to get B3ta on the front page of The Daily Mail, I saw Terry Gilliam on the street the other day, who's the best celeb you've spotted and where?

Alt: my colleague just sat at his desk dipping bread into hot camembert for lunch. It stinks. Should I tell him he's a selfish arse?

AltAlt: Why didn't Ultimate Spider-Man #3 come out today like it should have done? (OK, you don't really need to answer that one)
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:11, 240 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I nearly got in a fight with Mathew Broderick in New York

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Ok, new thread, because that's unbeatable.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:13, Reply)
We could just talk about lunch in this thread.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:14, Reply)
I had a nice Fajita from 'Wrap it up'.
But they've stopped leavingout napkins on the counter and just put one in the bag now. One is not enough to eat one of their Fajitas with.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I had no lunch as I had a fry-up in the cafe near the office first thing to go through some paperwork*

*read my kindle in peace for half an hour
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:17, Reply)
Tiger bread toastie with cheddar and caramelised red onion chutney

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Chicken noodle soup and carrots
making chilli con carne tonight
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I walked into Prince Harry leaving a bathroom cubicle in a bar near me.
I saw Maureen Lipman shopping on my high street.

When I worked in a bowling alley, I sold some games to the guy that plays Draco Malfoy.

I'm pretty certain I saw kd Lang on a tube on the Northern line.

I walked past Neil Morrisey as he was leaving Stanstead airport.

I'm a fucking sleb magnet.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:16, Reply)
Also, your colleague is a selfish cunt.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:17, Reply)
My cousin went to the same school as the Malfoy kid (not hogwarts)
and he says he was ok until he got the part and then turned in to a massive twat.

A colleague here knows the parents of the Ranga that plays Ginny Weasly and says she is now made for life. She could easily live in luxury without ever working again because when she originally signed up the last books hadn't been written and they had no idea how big a part she would go on to play so they signed so fucking good deals when the later films came out.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Cool story

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Thanks, I try.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)
James Nesbitt snorted coke off my tits once
he was coked up and a cock, I have no idea how I ended up speaking to him
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:17, Reply)
this is a lie
you don't even own a tit
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:24, Reply)
moob?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:25, Reply)
Living in London for four years meant I saw many celebs week in week out
and none left me awestruck with one exception. I literally bumped in to Patrick Stewart on the bridge in Camden. I apologised and garbled a few words and ran away all embarrassed. I mean it was Captain Picard!

I met Rachel Stephens once which in itself was unremarkable but I mention it because though it doesn't appear so on the TV or in magazines she's actually a midget.

I also have fond memories of sneaking back stage at The Guilford festival and drinking wine with The Levellers. They were crusty and smelly but the wine was good.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:17, Reply)
I saw S Club 7 mime
when I went to a recording of the Animal Hospital Awards because I worked for the company that sponsored them. They were actually the best part of the whole night.

I mean, they were shit, but they were the best part of the whole night.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:20, Reply)
Mark Chadwick has given up the booze now, apparently.
Also, my mates were talking to him at a festival a few weeks ago and he's agreed to play the festival they're organising for next year. Allegedly.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:21, Reply)
I so cannot wait for that.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:24, Reply)
It would be great if they did get him to play.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:25, Reply)
Richard O'Brian asked me for directions once.
I took a while to realise who he was, but having given him (probably wrong) directions I asked him "Are you Richard O'Brian?". "I used to be" he called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the darkness.

Alt: Nope, you should MTFU and learn to enjoy the smell of cheese.

AltAlt: Dunno, because it's gay and crap? Are we talking film here, or games, or comics? I hope it's comics.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:18, Reply)
I also saw Mark Steel in a park once.
Oh and I totally bottled out of asking Billy Bragg and Phil Jupitus for autographs.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:21, Reply)
Ha. I like Richard O'Brian even more now.
and yes, comics. So gay and crap probably applies really, but I like it.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:21, Reply)
I have more time for superhero comics than superhero films
and I don't really do video games, so you're alright by me. Condolences.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:23, Reply)
I liked Ultimate Spider-Man.
Bought the first five volumes in hardback but then stopped working in Newcastle so lost track of it (Forbidden Planet was just around the corner from the office).
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:23, Reply)
You're in for a bit of a shock if you start reading it again.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:26, Reply)
I am aware of how it all ended...

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:26, Reply)
You are not in for a shock at all then.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Not Richard O'Brien...
I met Ed Tudor-Pole once when the band I was in supported him.
He was crazy and threatened to punch the guy who was doing the sound.
I've got more cool rock'n'roll stories, if anyone wants to hear... No?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:33, Reply)
I went to see The Music at a club in DC and Kasabian opened for them, Tom Meighan touched my arm and smiled at me because my fat arse was blocking his bookbag

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:21, Reply)
I'll never forgive you for not punching him
Or did you? In which case, I owe you a pint.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:30, Reply)
no, I was blinded by his glorious face and smiled like a loon, I probably drooled a bit

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:34, Reply)
He's a cunt
And you are off my Christmas card list.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)
I wouldn't know, he's not any part of the American culture.
If I told you that Michael Salahi is a crazy bitch would you give a shit? Probably not, because she's kind of hot.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:41, Reply)
I'd be more surprised that it is a she.
But I'll google her if she is kind of hot.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:48, Reply)
She looks like an ageing, bottle blonde, tart to me.
Not hot.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:49, Reply)
oh like you have "standards"
your wife hangs out in places where people snort drugs off other peoples bits
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:52, Reply)
Not my wife!
That was Battered's wife. I just quoted him
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:54, Reply)
Also
My wife is fucking hot. Just ask those B3tans who have seen pictures.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:55, Reply)
oh so nooooooooooow the story changes

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:57, Reply)
It was my wife. And my wife is also hot.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Her name is Michael?
Surely not.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:50, Reply)
michaele whatever

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:51, Reply)
Wasn't one of The Bangles genuinely called Michael?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:53, Reply)
Roger Taylor watched my band when I was 15 and afterwards came over and told me I was a really good singer
I had no idea who he was and just said "Yeah thanks mate" and walked back to the others, it was only when the guitarists dad explained who I had just brushed off that I realised. I also met Brian May once. he isn't actually that tall but his hair makes him look at least 7ft
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:22, Reply)
that's my uncle's name
he's not in a band, though.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:25, Reply)
I live in Yorkshire.
We don't take kindly to celebrities and their funny ways up here.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:23, Reply)
i read that as "fanny ways" then
:(
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:25, Reply)
What about all them Emmerdale actors?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:26, Reply)
'celebrities'

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)
Z list celebrities are still celebrities

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)
In that case
I spent an hour in a pub in Horsham chatting to the bloke who was in Emmerdale playing the nasty man in a wheelchair whose wife killed him (and whose name I didn't know then and don't know now) on his night off from the play he was appearing in at The Capitol. He was incredibly drunk and I got the feeling he spent a lot of his time that way.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I saw Harold "Dickie" Bird in Yorkshire once
But I don't really know who he is.
Do I win £5?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)
I once bumped into celebrity radiator enthusiast Terry Waite in a pie shop in York
This put the shits up my mate so much he ran off screaming
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Can I also claim my friendship with Gilly Hope who does the traffic on Look North on a morning?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:29, Reply)
I don't know, is she fit?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:31, Reply)
She is quite fit, yes.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:33, Reply)
Then I shall allow it.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:33, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/tyne/content/images/2005/12/20/gilly_hope_203x152.jpg
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:40, Reply)
excellent bukkake glasses.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:51, Reply)
She is very lovely!

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:51, Reply)
I'm close personal friends with BBC weathergirl Laura Tobin.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:16, Reply)
Really?
She is very nice also
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:19, Reply)
She's a friend of my mates wife,
I spent their wedding calling her "BBC weathergirl Laura Tobin" rather than "Laura" because I'm hilarious. I've met her at christenings and house parties since. Although next time I see her, if she doesn't remember who I am again I'll remove the honour of calling her a close personal friend.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)
Is she as skinny in real life as she looks on screen?
She looks tiny
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Pretty tiny, not tiny tiny, but short and slim.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)
She is lovely

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)
She swears like a trooper.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I love her more now

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:36, Reply)
I saw lostprophets at my university before they were famous.
Oh yeah, total hipster right here. Except rather than thinking they were good before they got popular, I thought they were shit and pointedly ignored them when one tried to increase his chances at chatting up a friend of mine by being matey with me.

Rock'n'roll, me.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:26, Reply)
I once pretended to like the Lostprophets in order to fuck a girl at Reading Festival
It worked but I felt terrible, they were just awful.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)
I believe I did a similar thing at the Leeds festival, back when it was in black and white

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)
hmmm
university big issue selling tramp patch
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:28, Reply)
May as well have been
fucking horrible place.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:29, Reply)
Good man.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:29, Reply)
I saw Alun Armstrong at a birthday party.
He is a nice man.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)
I was in a bowling alley with Amy Winehouse.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:29, Reply)
Did she realise who you were?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:31, Reply)
No, no, no...

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)
I was trying to figure out how to shoehorn in this or being back to black or rehab

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:40, Reply)
Her dealer?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)
I had a dream that I flew to LA to meet you.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)
I sat at a table next to Republica in a cafe in Berwick once.
Was in a queue in Marks & Spencer with Peter Beardsley. The man's a midget.

Bumped into Clint Mansell from Pop Will Eat Itself at a gig in Newcastle. It wasn't a PWEI gig either.

Had the whole of Fugazi stay in my flat one night as my flatmate's band supported them at a gig. Unfortunately, I stayed at my girlfriend's so this probably doesn't count.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:32, Reply)
Fugazi bit is cool

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:41, Reply)
fuggedaboutit

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:43, Reply)
eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Kris Akabusi took our PE class once.
This sounds like a lie. Ridiculously, it is the truth.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I hope he gave them back.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:33, Reply)
You know how he's so loud and obnoxious you think "that's GOT to be an act"?
Well, it's not.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:34, Reply)
Bit like Brian Blessed
I have heard he talks and acts like that all the time. I think this is ace.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:35, Reply)
Did you see that episode of QI where they talked about how awesome Blessed is?
He's boxed with the Dalai Lama, you know.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:38, Reply)
Fraid not
I don't watch much TV 3-1 outnumbered by females.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:48, Reply)
God he annoys me.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:39, Reply)
Did he pat the girls on the fanny and whisper 'Awooga' in their ears?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:34, Reply)
mindpiss

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:34, Reply)
I'll just drop this here for the benefit of anyone who hasn't read them...
www.dragonninja.co.uk/28610/kris-akabusi-erotic-short-novels/
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)
Oh God, I shouldn't have started re-reading that.
"a clunge so tight it shopped at Poundland." Genuine tears dripping off my face.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:43, Reply)
Hahaha!
I'll not click it on my work PC
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:44, Reply)
Worth a read if you haven't seen them.
The first time Kitty linked them on here I was a broken man.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:46, Reply)
www.damnyouautocorrect.com
That gets me every time. I had to leave the office for about 20 mins after last time as I couldn't breathe for laughing
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:48, Reply)
That just reminded me..
I was in the town centre at the weekend and noticed a new shop getting ready to open next to Poundland..


(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:06, Reply)
Where is this, "Bill Clay?"

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:07, Reply)
The place I live has a bad enough reputation as it is
I think it's known to certain b3tans, but in the interests of civic pride I'll keep schtum
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:09, Reply)
It looks like Corby

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Damn you Holmes!

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:15, Reply)
HA!

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Did you look at the mouseover text..
..or use some clever internetting skillz?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Honestly, I've been there once with work years ago and it looked familiar
Its the paving/brickwork
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:24, Reply)
best of all the trouser presses

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Superb.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:49, Reply)
They aren't very famous
But Strung Out stayed in the same Travelodge as us. After their gig we were travelling up in the lift and they got in too. My step dad, despite having spent the last 2 hours watching them perform asked "Are you guys in a band then" Daft bugger
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I used to go and watch snooker a bit
so I've had a drink with Darren Morgan, Paul Hunter and Stephen Lee. Shared a lift with Jimmy White and had a long chat with the late great Len Ganley. I also had a surprisingly long chat with author Robert Rankin and his wife at a book singing, and he let me have one of his biscuits.

Alt: Anyone that eats a smelly lunch at their desk (unless they have their own office) should fuck the fuck off to fuck.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:35, Reply)
I ate a massive curry at my desk the other week
But I do have my own office which makes me a smug fuck too
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)
I like the idea of snooker players singing

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:42, Reply)
Pot the red and screw back
for the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black. Snooker loopy nuts are we, we're all snooker loopy.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:49, Reply)
Annoyingly I didn't think of that!

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:50, Reply)
Oh, I just remembered!
I once actually touched a tarantula that was the daughter of the one in that James Bond film, Dr. No I think.

Form an orderly queue Ladies.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:35, Reply)
THIS WINS!

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:37, Reply)
My friend went to LA on holiday once..
..and brought me back a genuine prop spider from the film Arachnophobia.

*fails at arachnid-related celebrity top trumps*
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:39, Reply)
I am full of Tayyabs and I don't want to do any work this afternoon.
I'm also dressed rather smartly, which makes a change.

Today I met the man who wrote the original ICRCL guidance.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:54, Reply)
My Grandad wrote Granny's Garden

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:55, Reply)
I sniffed your Granny's Garden.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:05, Reply)
That made me laugh more than it should have.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:16, Reply)
Al
Where is you?

I am going to Tayyabs in an hour or so.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:08, Reply)
I hilariously just got back.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:49, Reply)
Some good, some poor...
Mostly poor.
In 2001 I managed to shake hands with two of my heroes - Brian Wilson and Martin Carr. I asked Beck for his autograph in a vintage clothes shop in Dublin, he was unimpressed and I promptly lost it.
I have played gigs with (amongst others) Electric Soft Parade, The Enemy (when they were called Bridges - why didn't I try to stop them? Why?), Trembling Bells, Dave Swarbrick, The Animals (sort of - two ex-members and others), and more equally unimpressive names that I can't remember.
Oh, and like most people in my city, I know someone who knows someone in The Specials (there were more people on the guest list than paying punters when they played here on their reunion tour)
Like I said, mostly poor.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 15:58, Reply)
Mostly? I think you mean entirely.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:02, Reply)
I do, yes.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Oh, and I had a pint with Tom Robinson once...
No, it's still not impressive.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:04, Reply)
You get mild respect from me for the guys out of The Animals
for what ever this may be worth.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:05, Reply)
I've met Chas Chandler's daughter.
She is hot.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:10, Reply)
It was the original drummer (John something), who was the only nice one.
Plus the guy who replaced Alan Price on keyboards and then the others were various non-members of The Kinks touring band, Creedence Revived (!) and Argent.
Your respect may be a little milder now...
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:11, Reply)
Even so, good going.
I've heard your music remember. Speaking of which did Monty show?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)
No, he had to get drunk with CHCB instead.
He apologised profusely and promised to be at the next one though.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:22, Reply)
I suspected as much.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:38, Reply)
My mate was The Enemy's tour manager when they did the world tour with Oasis
He had many opportunities to push them off bridges of hold pillows over their faces and make it look like an overdose but didn't. I won't forgive him. He knows the real reason Oasis pulled out of the V festival though.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:05, Reply)

And what real reason was that?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:08, Reply)
They realised the truth?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Brian Wilson, as in The Beach Boys, THE Brian Wilson?
Well I'm impressed even if no one else is.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)
He's a grumpy weirdo.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)
So am I.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:15, Reply)
Yes
And I thank you for this internet validation. I'm choosing to ignore Al's comment because Al didn't write God Only Knows or In My Room or Don't Worry Baby.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)
That's what you think

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)
*eyes Al suspiciously*
I'm watching you Mr Thegeordie.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)
Although
Martin Carr as in The Boo Radleys?

You have low standards for 'heroes'
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:15, Reply)
I misread that as Maxine Carr at first.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Would.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)
Just don't let her get you into the bath first

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:22, Reply)
One of my favourite songwriters.
And a pretty good guitarist too.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)
I have a famous friend but my best spot recently was Alan Lamb in Alderley Edge.
Alt: Kill him
AltAlt: Pass
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:12, Reply)
How famous is your friend?
In what field is he famous?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:13, Reply)
The field of being a big fat child abuser.
Amazingly Bobby isn't even the best at doing that.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)
It's a shame your nonce dad keeps beating me to it, he was telling me at the last convention
he would have practiced on you but you were a greasy deformend little shitehawke so he had to sodomise your mum instead whilst playing the grange hill theme tune at full volume for that extra nonce effect.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:16, Reply)
Oh Bobby, why do you set such poor standards to your kids with your spelling?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:17, Reply)
8.5/10 insulting though

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:18, Reply)
4LOLZ

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:19, Reply)
I am amazed Bobby is even claiming to have any friends.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:18, Reply)
I'm looking forward to your next flounce, hopefully it's brought on by something horrendous happening
to your wife and/or new baby.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)
That was yesterday
You missed it. But even Rory's baiting couldn't cause a flounce. Battered is a man of steel now.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Indeed.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)
I saw that, they had to sit in A and E.... FUCKING HELL WHAT A DRAMA!
Man of steel my arse.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Considering you had a mini flounce over literally nothing
I'm pretty sure that comment can be classified as "ironic" (though I'm willing to accept I may be incorrect on this and that the comment is merely "stupid")
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)
If you can point this flounce out to me I would be grateful.
I have left for a few days and come back but never once had a bertdown and deficated all over the board.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I'm not going to trawl through the archives
but you suddenly announced "That's it, I'm off" I think it was after Noel did one, and then you disappeared for quite a while before reappearing with a different account before reverting to this one again.

The disappearing is the flounce. The fact it was only for a week or so makes it mini. I never said you had a meltdown.

And neither did Battered, in fact his was even less than yours since he just told a few people he was off by Gaz and then didn't post again until he recently came back.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:38, Reply)
and I said at the time that I was going offline for a few days and even said I was going to have a new
account, I am using both if you have noticed and have a few more even you haven't worked out yet. Battered flaked out after an altercation, I have not flaked out or backed down once so don't compare me to that fucking pussy.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Battered left after a personal situation
nothing to do with b3ta at all.

And I know you really have to prove how hard you are online, but you didn't say you were leaving for a few days.

And I wouldn't flatter yourself with the idea that I'm somehow going around looking for your sock puppets. But I'm glad your ability to set up multiple accounts makes you feel special.

Hope you enjoyed the books.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:53, Reply)
books were grand thanks, just starting the fourth now,
I might not have told you but others knew. It's not all about you al.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 18:48, Reply)
He uses the friend to describe the people that clear away the rib bones and bring him moist towelettes to wipe the grease off his face and belly.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Ha. John Cleese to his Mr Creosote so to speak.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Famous over here, stand up comic.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)
Over here?
Are you in the States at the minute?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:15, Reply)
Nope, UK, fly on 14th.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:17, Reply)
How long for?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Fly back dec 10

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Good luck sir

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Wales?
I can only think of 2 famous welsh stand-ups, one isn't funny and the other is not your mate.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Which one are you again? I forget who I think is alright and not, I kind of feel you are a tit.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)
I can't remember how you feel about me.
I don't think we have any beef, but you call most of the threads I post "gay".
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:22, Reply)
oh yeah, you are alright man.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)
I'm a tit too.
but it's usually intentional with me, which is more than some can say.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Yeah man.
How down with the KidZ are you?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Not at all, generally.
I've come to the sad conclusion that this whole sideways-combed-fringe haircut thing is here to stay. I think it is officially the first Yoof trend that I cannot even begin to understand.

/old.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Kidz don't say yeah man anymore Al, and if you look closely neither did I.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)
What about "Dude"?
Do they still say "dude"?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Nope, it's all "blud" and "fam" these days I'm afraid.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:31, Reply)
"blud" I've at least heard, although I'm far to cultured ever to say it.
what does "fam" mean?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)
family I think but never stopped to ask, just an assumption.
Most of the Welshies say "bhat" or "bud"
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:35, Reply)
I'm not even going to try Welsh.
God I feel old.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:35, Reply)
I only speak enough to teach it,
if the topic isn't toys, weather, colours, shapes etc I am fucked.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:37, Reply)
Most of the kidz near Bobby just say "get the fuck away from me you obese nonce"

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)
lucky yours cant speak yet then isn't it.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I never implied you did. I'm simply echoing your "ending a written comment with the word man".
Do you see?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)
We should be ashamed of ourselves for posting celebrities I have met stories when Monty is not here.
He knows more people that are, or are not, "fucking shit" than any of us.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:22, Reply)
He's still recovering from his birthday.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I expect he is.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)
To be fair
no matter what we posted about Monty would offer his views on the shit/not shit status of each posting.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)
I know that, but it is his way of feeling good for a few minutes at his shitty job.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

job life
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)
could be worse
could have cooked salmon in the kitchen microwave, like someone i worked with once. the manager went mad, saying that the office smelt like "a whore's drawers". next day, we were all banned from hot food during the day.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:37, Reply)
Why the hell would anyone with a brain think that microwaving salmon would be a good idea.

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Foil bag, bit of butter, wine and herbs and in the oven for 15 mins

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Hot smoked salmon and cream cheese makes a nommy sandwich
would not have done it at work though.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Hot smoked salmon?
What a revolting idea. I can understand having smoked salmon on hot toast or toasted bagel, but the salmon itself should be cold.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:42, Reply)
It's very tasty, rather like bacon.
Raw it's too rubbery and greasy for me.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Salmon looks like fish celery to me

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:52, Reply)
This makes little sense to me.
Either the ear infection is in fact brain cancer, or you have taken some interesting new drugs.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:58, Reply)
It's the way it looks
all those veins
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:11, Reply)
Nice in soups, but a total waste in a Bloody Mary?

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Interesting perspective
what do you reckon vanilla vodka, baileys and milk would taste like as a cocktail?
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:11, Reply)
I have grave reservations about mixing Baileys with any other alcohol
as I've had some awful shooters were the Baileys curdles while you drink it. I'm not sure if this is all alcohol or just some though.

Provided it doesn't curdle I see nothing wrong with the idea of said cocktail, though I would probably add some vanilla seeds to make it more like a lovely vanilla milkshake.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:15, Reply)
If you're fast at mixing it there is generally no problem
not sure if I have any vanilla seeds, and I doubt that vanilla essence or vanilla sugar would have the same effect
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:21, Reply)
A drop of essence should work
but don't use much as it overpowers cakes, so I reckon it would be rough in a cocktail if you used more than a tiny dash.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:22, Reply)
Sounds good to me
I might have one later.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:27, Reply)
i was stropping around tesco at about 2am for essentials on the way home from work last night
and i found a NEW ice-cream (that chok-a-blok brand) which is peanut butter and chocolate ice creams swirled together, stuffed full of chocolate covered peanuts AND chocolate drops AND caramel sauce.

i would have come on the spot, but i still had a 20 min walk home, so i had to leave him in the freezer. but the point is... imagine THAT in a cocktail with vodka!!! x
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:25, Reply)
It sounds delicious
but not worth dying for (allergic to peanuts) haha.

See that's willpower. I'd probably have eaten it on the way home so no melty problem
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:27, Reply)
CHECKIT
www.chokablok.com/ice-cream-tubs.html

i think this could even make peace in the middle east.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:28, Reply)
I reckon the Rocky Road one might even challenge Phish Food as the greatest Ice Cream

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:31, Reply)
Gold Digger Dynamite looks nice
I like Baileys icecream
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:33, Reply)
you both make good sense
but i have to go for "billionaire's shortbread" if the peanuts are off the table...
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:39, Reply)
Sounds too peanutty for me.
But then, I like my cocktails made with lime vodka and sugar and not much else.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:27, Reply)
Sorry, missed a comma
should be lime, vodka and sugar. Also mint.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:28, Reply)
This is an excellent choice

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:32, Reply)
i would not dispute lime vodka
i love flavoured vodka, me.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:40, Reply)
I can't really see the point TBH.
Unless it's utterly revolting studnet union vodka I could never profess to be able to tell the difference between any brand of vodka and I'd never drink it neat anyway, so since I like it flavoured with lime juice and mint anyway there seems little point in getting pre flavoured vodka.

I feel the same about gin. I hate bars when you order a G&T and they ask which brand. My response is always "the cheapest". Nobody can tell the difference between gins and anyone who claims to be able to is a liar.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:45, Reply)
I can taste the difference between gins
but not between ones in the same price range
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:48, Reply)
I don't know
I got given a bottle of Polish Buffalo grass vodka, and it was damned nice. Very smooth taste and could be drunk neat.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:52, Reply)
i drink it neat on ice, ye see

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 18:24, Reply)
did i say she had a brain? it was an estate agency...
but actually i don't mind microwaving salmon depending on what i am doing with it. eg if i am mashing it up with wholegrain rice and salad vegetables, it's a quick and easy way to do it.

but if you are wanting it on its own, then yeah, baked or poached, clearly.

not smoked though. RANK.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:26, Reply)
i have not read that last thread, yet, looks scary
I'm not sure I've met any celebs, well not that i knew at the time. I went to school with someone was later in a vaguely famous band, same at uni. Oh and I met the welsh guy out of Coupling at an exhibition i was involved in. Didn't realise who he was until later.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:58, Reply)
oh and there's alocal radio
DJ I kept bumping into for a while, mainly because he is the go-to local celeb for opening nights
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 16:59, Reply)

p into
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:01, Reply)
nasty
he's the guy who always plays the dame in the local panto, too :( bad imagery
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:06, Reply)
Geoff!
He is a legend, I loves him totally. I went to school with the daughter of the man who wrote the Dilly The Dinosaur books.

and with that I'm off, have a good evening.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:00, Reply)
ta ra

(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Geoff was an excellent character
The actor who played him is in the Prince Of Persia film, it was very odd to see him play something far closer to normal.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:16, Reply)
i think that's why I didn't recognise him
since he plays such a big character
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:17, Reply)
I had Luke Kenny run into me in the middle of a pit, does that count?
Cunt knocked me flying.

Alt: Yes, smelly lunches can fuck off.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:03, Reply)
one of my students met
one of the actors from Misfits. He didn't know who he was but spent a while taking the piss out of him for looking like that guy out of misfits. *head desk*
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:24, Reply)

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