What are the most pleasurable things in life?
Someone mentioned this earlier on. A common one is a right good dump.

I'd also suggest a right good blowjob.

Anyone got any others?

Alt: I don't know, probably lunch FFS.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:00, 244 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

In true internet lolfatty tradition
I think my breakfast was ace enough to rank up there.

Alt: no lunch today, but I'm making beef bourguignon for dinner, though again not for me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)

What did you have for brekkie?
Share with the group please.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Crisp flavouring, dust and the middle bit of polo mints.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Pfft don't be silly
that's for dinner
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:09, Reply)

A piece of bacon
fried with onions and black pepper. And a guava Berocca
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)

The first bit sounds good but needs MOAR baguette and brown sauce
I don't have a clue what the last bit is.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:09, Reply)

No bread allowed
it's a vitamin and mineral fizzy tablet in water. Quite nice in a weird sort of way
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Eeek.
Sounds horrific. I don't think I'd make it to lunch if I'd only had that for brekkie.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Some onions in there would be good too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:24, Reply)

What about black pepper?
And a guava berocca?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:29, Reply)

And I think he forgot to suggest a piece of bacon

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Gahh, fuck
I meant mushrooms.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I said it the other day for some reason
but putting on brand new, fresh from the pack, socks. I'd have a new pair every day if I could.


Lunch: Well, it's new comics day, so I'll be off to Orbital right nowm, then stopping at 'Wrap It Up' for a grande beef fajita on the way back.

Actually, New Comic Day is a life pleaure, thinking about it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)

What do your feet do to a pair of socks in just one day?
I remember new comic day from my childhood - getting the new Beano delivered was exciting stuff. I'm a little old for it now though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:05, Reply)

a left good blowjob¬!
LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Diving into a warm swimming pool in an exotic land after a long flight and transfer.
Followed by an alcoholic fruity drink.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:09, Reply)

A big glass of wine
after a day at work
(DeeDee, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Downed in two gobfuls.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)

and followed by a tequila

(DeeDee, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:12, Reply)

The smell of BBQ's on a hot day.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Smell of autumn isn't too shabby either

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Ah, spent damp fireworks and a pile of autumn leaves concealing a big dog turd...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Less of the dog turd
more of the fireworks please
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Damp cardboard and sulphur?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Ah yep, fireworks and candyfloss.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Guerlain do a perfume called Shalimar
that smells like walking home on a dark bonfire night, with a sort of smoky tinge to teh air.

It's a very heavy perfume (most Guerlain ones are) but if you like autumn, give it a sniff.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I remember you recommending it once :)
it sounds lovely, but I haven't been able to find it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Next time you're up in Broadmead, have a look in the big department stores.
They're the most likely places.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Just bought a sample of it :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:23, Reply)

ooooo.
Hope I don't get shouted at if you don't like it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:26, Reply)

I'm sure it'll be fine
we wouldn't want you to end up like those thugs in WSM would we?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

*worreis*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:31, Reply)

I'm not saying it will happen
because it might not. Especially if the perfume is nice
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:36, Reply)

This post still sounds threatening

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I know. I'm well scared.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

I used to love Poisen as a young Blousie.
It was so heady it made me feel faint..........but hot.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Poison isn't one of my favourites
but they made so many variations. Midnight Poison (dark blue bottle) is nice, as is Hypnotic Poison (red bottle).

If you're talking Dior, I like J'adore, and a very old one called Dolce Vita, which smells like a tropical fruit juice first thing in the morning in a hot mediterranean country.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I'm more into light fragrances now.
I wear Clarins Eau dynamisante in the summer. I have a winter perfume, Chanel, but I rarely wear it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Which Chanel?
I absolutely hated No 5 for years and years, until last year when I realised it was the nicest perfume in the world ever. I'm down to my last 20ml now, but I wear it all teh time. Hopefully somebody nice will buy me some more for my birthday.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Allure!
Cause I am innit.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:31, Reply)

You certainly are, Blouse.
Not one of my favourites, but it's better than Coco, which is rank.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Best male smell is Paco Rabanne.
Gets me from nought to sixty in the twinkle of an eye.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:37, Reply)

The one in the green bottle?
I like that in very small doses. It's a proper man smell. You should look up 'Tsar' by Van Cleef & Arpels. It's expensive but very nice. Definitely does things for me...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Yup! although it's been a while since I've been with anyone who wore it.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

another similar age one is Aramis, but I can't like that on my men because my dad wears it.
But there's a lovely one by Hermes which is incredibly expensive but knicker-dropping gorgeous.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Platinum Egoiste by Chanel has the same effect for me

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

To be honest I feel so lucky if I get a man I don't care what he smells off..........within reason. Lol!

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Strangely I used to like the smell of beer and fags on my ex girlfriend.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Pure Poison is light and fresh like laundry and sexy ladies.
I have hinted at your brother but nothing so far.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:26, Reply)

There's a relatively new one called Love, Chloe
which smells to me just like Shield soap, and really makes me feel like I'm back in my gran's old house. That's my summer fragrance now, and it's a lovely light, floral one.

As for your unemployed wastrel of a fiancé, you may need to drop the subtle and just put in a requisition order.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I can't wear floral. My skin is too sweet.
I have to wear crisp, citrus or spicy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:31, Reply)

This is going to sound really rude
if it wasn't you that said this, but were you the one who said your skin smelled sweet enough that your aunty thought it was of death?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Yup!
Something along the lines of "Can't she sleep somewhere else? Her skin is so sickly and sweet, it's like death or vanilla."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Death OR vanilla?
are the two interchangeable now?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Er... I choose vanilla

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

BONGO!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Apparently.
or maybe it was my ex who said death smelt like vanilla perfume oil...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I'd have thought that was a good thing
I like vanilla
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

She reckons it's overwhelming.
She's very odd. She refers to an emotion called 'cube'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Have you smelled the new Opium one?
It's really warm and heavy, with a lot of patchouli in it. Very 1920s/30s.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Nope.
The only proper sexy night time perfume I ever liked was DKNY's Be Delicious Night (the big purple ball - in case your brother is reading.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

You like the appley ones?
Nina Ricci has a popular apple one, but it's not that strong, and Lanvin do one called 'Marry Me' which has an apple base, but is light and airy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Not really.
I do wear DKNY Women all the time and that is total citrus (mandarin and vodka apparently) but I'VE ALMOST RUN OUT OF THAT ONE.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I have the pink one of those
it's quite nice :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

I like Midnight Poison
in very small quantities. I still wear my Sensi by Armani perfume the most, and occasionally switch over to other ones.

Edit: also accidentally bought some Grey Vetiver by Tom Ford, which though it is for men, smells amazing on my skin
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:31, Reply)

A cuddle. I miss cuddles.
Alt: M&S chicken fajita sammich and a bag of crisps.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:13, Reply)

* Offers internet hugz *
I usually bring my own lunch into work, but today I will take a punt on the canteen/restaurant/bistro*

* depends on how much I'm trying to take the piss out of our boss, who insists that we call it the restaurant.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Thanks Fister, internet hugz keep me going through the dry spells.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Not too dry. I hope.
Snigger.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Filth!

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

* wiggles eyebrows *

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Steak, cooked rare.
With sweet potato chips. Can't get much better than that.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Coming out of the hairdressers when your hairs been done well.
Always makes me feel like a million dollars.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Green and wrinkly?
/mydadlols
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)

An unexpected monetary windfall, no matter how small.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I got a tax rebate last week!
£803! You beauty!
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:17, Reply)

I got £500 for services rendered at work. Lol!
(just filling in as director for my grandfather)
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Awww. Here's ten bob. Buy yourself something pretty.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:18, Reply)

*buys a pretty ribbon for my hair*

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:19, Reply)

My dumps are most unpleasant since I've had IBS, but a good, clean, blasting fart is always nice.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:18, Reply)

You're all class

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:19, Reply)

It's written right through me like Blackpool rock

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:20, Reply)

It's a good job we're common as muck.
You'll raise our social standing no end.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Innit blud

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:28, Reply)

A good , all-day brewed dump, is fucking excellent.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:29, Reply)

You're making me reminisce

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

10 minutes, and a tabloid newspaper.
Class, fucking class.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:32, Reply)

And to top it off, a nice clean wipe.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Luck bastard

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Good food, good blow jobs, good sex.
The opposite of the above are some of the worst things too.

Cuddles, a good pint of ale, strong tea, hot chocolate, having a good belly laugh, bacon and as Blousie says, unexpected windfalls - all good things.

Alt: Chunky chilli con carne
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:22, Reply)

On a related note, I always remember the old IT adage
"Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's very good; when it's bad, it's better than nothing."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I always looks upon it as 'Good food is better than bad sex'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:38, Reply)

That certainly explains the number of fat virgins round here.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Offers good food.
You couldn't afford the other 2 frock boy, even if I wuz inclined.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

The feeling of waking up after a good nigh's sleep, feeling energised.
knowing there's no need for you to get up yet, but wanting to get up and kick arse.

it's a distant memory, but it's good.

Alt: stuffed pasta with melted boursin and asparagus.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I just had stuffed pasta with melted soft cheese and broccoli
Same but different
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:23, Reply)

We are like twins, innit?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Food twins.
A pair of foody knackers.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I had asparagus the other day. I fucking love asparagus.
Still the same then?
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Getting better actually.
still not right but starting to feel the urge to get up off the sofa, which is a start. Asparagus rocks.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Good to hear.
You'll be gagging to let your hair down by the end of the month.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Damn right I will, should be all better by then.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Asparagus best of all the vegetables
with the possible exception of parsnips
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:33, Reply)

TESTIFY, PHIL!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Haha
parsnips best of all the seats
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I love parsnips.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I might cut some into
what I am calling beef bourguignon but which is actually stew
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Roast them and serve them alongside it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I was thinking the very same thing but she's on a diet so might not want to roast them.
Unless she dry roasts them, or maybe, Amberl, you could spray them with a bit of fry-light and roast them that way.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Don't be ridiculous
Amberl won't be eating any of this food she is preparing.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Does she just sniff it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:09, Reply)

God, no!
Too many calories in aromas.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:12, Reply)

I never thought of that!
Oh god I must invest in a clothes peg.

For myself I have scotch broth left over from yesterday
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Aspagus is probably my fave non-diversital veg too, in fact, it deffo is.
Have you ever tried sprinkling them with salt and baking them in the oven? Or using them as soldures with a boiled egg? They even work well microwaved, true story. I think that's what I going ot have for lunch now
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

I'll try the salt and oven idea.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

A chef friend of mine BBQ'd some with salt and olive oil*
Fucking nom!

*(and possibly another ingredient I can't remember)
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Meat?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Never.
It was accompanied by some marvellous barbequed halloumi though...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Here's one that has made me feel ace, that you may appreciate.
I had my ear syringed yesterday and normal hearing service has resumed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I fuckin wish.
doc says it's not blocked just infected still, mey be deaf foe 4 fucking weeks.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Oooh, I love that feeling.
I always end up with a clean house and a tired dog on those days
(DeeDee, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:27, Reply)

You pervert

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:28, Reply)

hey,
I'm no Jeff
(DeeDee, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)

so long since I had a good night's sleep and no need to get up in the morning it's a bit of a distant memory
what dog ya got?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Very much a mongrel
we think she's likely some kind of rottweiler/collie cross, but we got her from a shelter so we don't even know for sure how old she is
(DeeDee, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Sounds a good mix.
I had a Labradoodle, he's clever but silly, awesome family dog, more or less i giant puppy.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

She's adorable, if a bit excitable
everyone who meets her falls in love with her
(DeeDee, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Awwwww!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:50, Reply)

it's the orange eyebrows that make her so cute :)

(DeeDee, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Nice, looks a good mix, lots of energy

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:52, Reply)

This is not one I can relate to.
I literally cannot remember the last time I felt the urge to leap out of bed and do something.

I don't know whether I'm tired and listless, or just plain fucking lazy. I suspect the latter.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I can't do lie ins anymore unless I've got company.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:36, Reply)

The only company I have in the mornings is Biscuit.
And he leaves me as soon as he can smell teh bacon cooking downstairs.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

The question is...
who is cooking the bacon?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Mr B3th
he evidently has some redeeming characteristics.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

One or two.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Oh, I read "bacon cooking downstairs" as a euphemism

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Kippers cooking downstairs

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:53, Reply)

bacon gammon
cooking sizzling
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I'm sure he's also a DEMON IN THE SACK

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:53, Reply)

When you're about 8 years old and you've having that bath you've put off for a week but eventually you get in the bath....
.. and when you're in there you don't want to leave because it's all warm everywhere and cozy and you've got your trasnformers to play with and seeing what of your mother's very expensive loctions and potions float (hay look, this £99 bottle of smelly stuff, if you squeeze it under water, it takes in the water, and then you can squeeze it outside of the water now it's full, and it sprays everwhere !) and eventually all your toes and fingers are wrinkly and it's getting cold, ok, 2 more minuites.... and then being ready where your ma' holds out the big fluffy towel that has been kept on the radiator next to the PJs (with the extra silky label for some top quality thumb sucking later on) and she hugs you dry with it. Then putting on Dad's dressing gown where the arms almost reach the floor and coming downstairs to find a volcano of mash potato and baked beens with fish finger tribal villagers standing up on the side, just in time for that new eppisode of Star Trek, which you're not really supposed to be up watching but it's OK this time 'cus Dad is off playing cards tonight with his brothers.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Hahaha!
Same here except sausages instead of fish fingers.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:33, Reply)

You forgot the bit where the sofa is pulled over near the gas fire.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I miss gas fires.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I can't wait to get a new gas flame fire.
I can get rid of the telly then.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:57, Reply)

You can't watch Emmerdale Farm on a gas fire

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:57, Reply)

It's all about the flickering light.
Tribal innit.

I used to live with my nan who had a real fire. I would spend all night watching it and chatting about the war.
( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Get a chinmea for the back yard
You get to burn shit AND watch the flames
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:59, Reply)

They put out shit-all heat though.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Depends on the model, surely?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Can only speak from the one I had
pretty flames, but the idea of 'it keeping the patio warm enough to sit out on autumn evenings was bollocks.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:08, Reply)

If I ever get one again
It'll be one I can bbq in.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Do you mean "a barbeque"?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Mine does
It's toasty warm sitting near it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Is that really how it's spelt?
I always thought it was chimeniere. Or chiminiere. Possibly with accents and such.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Chimenea

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:35, Reply)

It seems so
that's well weird. It's positively Gonzish.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I have a totally 70s Robinson Wiley

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:57, Reply)

*is well jellus*
this is a proper Gas fire, I want's one. stupid safety regulations.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Mmm... nice drowsy carbon monoxide

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I spent half my childhood curled up in front of one.
I never died nor nuffink.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Gonz, when you post like this
you cheer up the whole internet!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

A fucking tasty lunch
is pleasurable. I've just nommed a footlong meatball marinara on Italian herb and cheese, toasted with cheese, green pepper, olives and jalapenos and it was fucking lovely!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Subway by any chance?
Same thing is lovely just with a bit of cheese and a bit of bbq sauce, on a six inch hearty italian.

Makes me fart like a motherfucker though.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Subway indeed
It was next door to the bank that I needed to drop a cheque in at
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Pretty sure this contains gay slang

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:09, Reply)

"warning. this sandwich may contain gay euphamisms"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:16, Reply)

No, but after one of those sandwiches, you could've sewn a button on those farts, they were that bad.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:18, Reply)

"on a six inch hearty italian"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Who gets a 6" from Subway when they do 1' longs?
Its all about the length
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:22, Reply)

People who aren't gigantic bloaters?
or people with no friends
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Bloody hell...
I really should think before I post.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Winning an argument ONLINE

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

hahaha!
NO IT@S NOT

/Rory
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

No wonder your miserable.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

you're*

(PsychoChomp, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

I'm*

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

ZING!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

you're.
*runs like fuck*
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Oh god I've chompypissed.
kill me now.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Sure!
How do you wish to die? Angry ferrets, gassing or being niggled to death by rats?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I think when you're denied something normal for a while and then have access to it again it's very pleasurable.
Case in point, my passport arrived today. No longer do I have to ask other people to buy me cigarettes and I can waltz into any club I want to, whereas before I had to pick my battles and knew where I could and couldn't get in. Also, it's finally dawned on me that in one week exactly I'll be in Krakow, Poland. Great days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

But without a new jacket
/ruins Barry's pleasure
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I got a new one:
Realising it's finally cool enough outside to wear you leather jacket with out sweating your bollocks off. *happyface*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Also, the felling of slipping your old leather on and it fitting you like a glove.
and knowing it's yours in that way only an old leather jacket can be.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:09, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I've never worn a leather jacket on my bollocks.
Am I missing something?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I bet you've never worn a ball gag too?

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:12, Reply)

that'd be telling.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Why would you need to gag your balls?
Oh...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Because they know too much?

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:27, Reply)

yes, yes you have
*Caresses scrotum with leather jacket*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I don't think that insect wants to be near there

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:32, Reply)

This took me way too long.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:33, Reply)

A simple pleasure
Leaving work early and it is a sunny day.
Extra points if the world is suddenly populated by pretty girls enjoying the sunshine.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Triple points if I'm one of them.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:11, Reply)

*Ogles BGB as I drive past*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Only wolf whistle I've ever got was one summer, wearing a fairly short summer dress many many years ago.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I didn't know people wolf-whistled in the 1950s
*Runs*
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

This^
Proper smiley face time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Oh yeah
Triple points if you end up having a bbq that evening, or end up in the pub.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

the pub BGB
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Quad points for that, surely?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Sunshine and fresh powder
first lift of the day and no tracks.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:12, Reply)

this sounds like a song

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I'm pretty sure it isn't. I hope not.
It sounds like the kind of shite Toploader would vomit out.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Is this something to do with weightlifters straining too hard and farting?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

*thinks about this carefully*
errrr... no. should it be?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

powder....lifts....no tracks (skidmarks)
Well, it seemed obvious to me anyway.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:39, Reply)

I was thinking heroin
powder, trackmarks...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Bluebird powder days :')
dammit Badger *looks up Seasonal Jobs*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Walking along a beautiful beach in the winter.

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

or at any time
/loveslivingnearthesea
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:14, Reply)

walking along the beach here is pretty much the same whatever time of year. Cold and windy.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I was on the beach at Tynemouth on Sunday with the dog

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:18, Reply)

that's no way to describe your wife.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

She was there too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

along the beach
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

hey, guess what guys?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:17, Reply)

LOL?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

LOL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I thought so
NEW THREAD PLEASE
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

no but really, guess what?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:24, Reply)

What!

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Wotsits, that's what!

( girlinthehole, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

nothing, doesn't really matter anymore
you probably wouldn't even care anyway

LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

it takes longer for people to take the bait if you don't have breasts.
Eventually someone will get curious and want to give you online therapy though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

woopwoop!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:33, Reply)

you're a pointless cock?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

this is a very confusing statement
a cock with no point would be some kind of unending phallic nightmare
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

sounds like you socky boy.
*routine joke about you being an incestuous nonce*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:26, Reply)

NO BULLYING!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

You haven't answered my question.
Now I'm shunned online. You know what that does to us QOTWOTers...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:28, Reply)

what was the question?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

"Quentin, what is your raison d'etre?"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I don't like them
they're just grapes that have been left in the sun too long.

and grape is jsut rape with a 'g', and 'g' can mean a black person who is a bit gangsta

This is awful!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Getting out of a 2hour meeting in which you regret drinking all that water in the first 15 minutes.
The piss you have then - not the whole thing, just the middle third after the first gush and before it starts to get dribbly - S'good.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

I can't believe nobody has done this yet:
To crush your enemies, drive them before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

This is my wallpaper at work.
Specifically: 4.bp.blogspot.com/_akLHpeO7qyA/TLiMTqy7JyI/AAAAAAAAC3U/xcvwHlZpmLM/s1600/conan+barbarian+motivational+poster.jpg
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I'm damned sure that's a Genghis Khan quote...

(The Luggage is haunted..., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

It was in the film of Conan
but they may have stolen it.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)