Animals I Have Hated
Horses are bastards, and they know that and they play on that fact too. I've never trusted them since the time I went to the circus, and the man said "who would like to ride the shire horse?"

So, 8-year-old me put my hand up, and they put me on the horse. But not before attaching a large, leather belt to my waist, attached to which was a long rope that disappeared up in to the roof of the big top. The horse, encouraged by a smack to the flanks from a wizened old carney, took off.

Around and around the big top it ran, getting faster and faster and faster and faster. "Get up on to your knees!" cried the ringmaster. "Fuck off!" I would have cried back, had I a) not been 8 and b) not been in fear for my very life.

Eventually, when the horse reached maximum velocity (approximately 1,000mph), they whipped it from under me - leaving the belt and rope to do their work. Momentum flung me forwards, the rope stretching behind me, as I soared above the crowd below.

"Aaaaaaargh!" I calmly explained, before the rope snapped me backwards, sending me reeling in the opposite direction like some kind of awful metronome of juvenile screaming, sweating and swearwords such as "Bum!" and "I'MGOINGTODIE!"

Horses: Evil. *Especially* horses that are in the circus.

What animals have you hated, and why?

Alt: There's no alt, ok? Deal with it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:45, 156 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I used to hate dogs when I was young.
They would roam round our council estate in packs and try to sniff girl's bottoms.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Sounds like your average Friday night in the North to me.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Cats, I can't stand the majority of the bastards*
They know, they somehow fucking KNOW that I'm allergic to them, so they insist on rubbing up against my legs.

*Exclusions are my friend's mischievous brothers, and T0ria's.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Staring at a cat is asign of aggression
whereas averting your gaze or closing your eyes is a sign of capitulation. This is why cats always move towards people that don't like them as those people tend to avert their gaze.

simple, stare the fuckers out
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Ahh, I shall keep this in mind!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Animals I couldn't care a fig for,
but I'm hugely bothered by chickens and pigeons and birds in general. Yes, hur hur, I'm saying I'm bent LOL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:55, Reply)

LOL
Pigeons can fuck the fuck right off though. Especially the scratty little cunts who have chewed their own feet off.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:57, Reply)

We have a brown (screech) owl in our back garden. A proper owl. In north London.
And a green woodpecker.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:02, Reply)

That's great

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I thought you were just listing your favourite menu

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I don't actually have a problem with any animals
yappy dogs annoy me a bit. Well any dog that won't shut up.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Anything you need to get off your chest?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-15368884
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Nope, I'm not a chavy cunt who takes out their anger on animals.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I am only interested in animals when it comes to cooking and eating them.
Apart from my cats. Mind you, if they piss me off enough they're off to the local chinese takeaway.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Rabbit is good to cook and eat
Actually preparing it isn't as much fun though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Fiddly to remove the small bones when preparing to cook them
So I tend to slow cook rabbit & then take the bones out before serving - much easier.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:11, Reply)

What do you cook it in? (sauce wise, I mean)
As I tend to just go for a spicy stew with it, but I'm open to ideas! (because mine is crap)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:18, Reply)

A base of carrot, celery, shallot, garlic, tomato puree & mushroom.

Add vegetable or chicken stock and white wine (enough to cover). Add cream just before serving (leave to cool a bit first so the cream doesn't split).

Serve with a jacket potato.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Oof, may well bookmark that! Can get them from near me at £4 a pop
EDIT: Also, whilst I remember, here's the T-Bone steak that only cost me £5 from the same place.

Sorry, ridiculously sized image.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I MUST OBTAIN MEAT LIKE THIS

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Lusty and I dined at Great Queen St
(same people as the Anchor and Hope by Waterloo), she had saddle of rabbit wrapped in parma ham (IIRC), it was magnificent. A couple of weeks later she ordered rabbit again in our local Italian, and got half a roasted rabbit. She was slightly put off by the 'beheaded and chopped in half rabbit' presentation style - I wasn't and thus got to eat half of it. It was 'nom'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I like the idea of wrapping one in parma ham.
As you know I am a big fan of autumn food - so looking forward to getting plenty of grouse, pheasant, pigeon & partridge from our local farmers market over the next couple of months.

Apparently rabbit is good with black pudding but I've never tried it.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:34, Reply)

The next thing I'm making with black pudding is scotch eggs
Local shop does absolutely fantastic sausages, so I'm going to use the meat from them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Autumn food is the best by far.
Luvverly, luvverly game, hearty soups and stews etc...

Fucking wondrous.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:43, Reply)

you zombie loving, Terry Pratchett fucker

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:34, Reply)

It's a fair cop guv.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:41, Reply)

I don't like most dogs
with honourable exceptions.

The one I hated the most. Hmm. When I was about six I wasn't allowed chocolate or even sweet things. So when I was bought some chocolate I was happy, until a goose pecked the whole thing from my fingers which hurt, though apparently geese don't have teeth. Ran after it and snatched the chocolate back. NOBODY puts Amberl in the corner away from chocolate
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Haha, what is it with offtopic women and assulting geese?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:04, Reply)

I would have loved to have seen that.
I can imagine the look on the Goose's face.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)

It was a fucking big goose
in my memory at least, or I may just have been a very small child. I think it was surprised.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

WOW, so this is where your career as a hardman started.
Did you punch a swan next?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I hate pugs.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Is that why you and gonz broke up?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Deep sea fish
always up in my grill with their bioluminescence and all that shit.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Their eyes are too fucking big as well.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Yeah, being all like "Hey man, look over here, it's light over here"
And then they fucking eat you, the bastards. Where do they get off, eh? EH?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I'm a lover, not a hater

( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:07, Reply)

You can be arrested for that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I don't think I hate any animals. except maybe rats.
I did get thrown off a pony when I was about 11, and got a nasty concussion. Then my mum forced me into horse riding lessons so I wouldn't be scared of them for the rest of my life.
(DeeDee, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:10, Reply)

This is the most WOH FUCKING HELL THAT IS AMAZING thing I've seen in yonks.
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ws6AAhTw7RA


Sorry, can't stay, very busy, just dropping this off.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Smokin'

( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Aces
top film.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Geese, lairy motherfuckers with a severe attitude problem,
an no word of a lie I've seen them bullying ducks, and I like ducks.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Ducks do have this gang rape thing going against them though.
I mean, I like a mallard as much as the next man, but that sort of behaviour can really put a chap off his shredded duck pancake.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Nice roasted though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Don't get me wrong, I like ducks
but I love eating them.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I also have not fondness for horses, mostly because of allergies.
Like Beej I was afeared of dogs as a nipper, but I love them now. Spiders scare me, but these days I can control it. I dunno, I'm generally in favour of most animals as long as they are not in my flat.

Gosh that's a boring answer, if only there were an alt.

What's mildly more interesting is that those two Ps in "nipper" up there were both Gs before I spotted them and the P and the G are not even next to each other, which makes for a very interesting subconscious typo.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Racist

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:16, Reply)

So it would seem.
*shames*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:20, Reply)

I like the irony that for every V for Vendetta mask sold to anti-capitalists
Warner Brothers makes some money
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Are they actually authorised merchandise?
I always assumed they were cheap knock off for some reason
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)

I suspect some are and some aren't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Bufo marinus
Also known as the Cane Toad.

Cunts every one of them. Greedy cunts.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Ooh, they're ugly fuckers and no mistake.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)

And they're rude.
And poisonous.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)

And they don't stand up during the national anthem.
Plus they never go halves on dinner.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

You're just describing b3tans now, DiT...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Ah, a little from column a, a little from column b.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Are you..?
No...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:29, Reply)

No?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:33, Reply)

DiT!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Yes?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I was exclaiming.
I could have easily said "Gadzooks!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Or "Zounds!"

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:48, Reply)

There is this one dog, when I cycle past his front lawn he goes mental, barks, howls and scares me a bit.
Why that one dog? why me?
In other news, GADDAFFI IS DEAD.
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)

But have they found Saddam Hussein yet?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Harro Hans Brix

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Oh, do you have a bike?
let's talk about bikes, I like bikes, is it a good bike? I bet mine's better.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Raleigh AT10
Does the job, reliable, smooth.
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Well, you could have spent far more money on a far stupider bike, I'll say that for you.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I've got two bikes.
'Round my way, they call me Johnny Two Bikes. Which is odd as my name isn't Johnny.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Ha! I'm up to 8
I need to loose a couple.

Wanna buy a bicycle?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I would, but I think Flim would implode if I bought any more.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:31, Reply)

The on'es I'm selling have anticue and novelty value if that makes any difference
also rust.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I need a bike
do you ship to Marbella?
( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Sorry
Daphne two bikes
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:31, Reply)

It's more animal owners I can't stand
I don't want to stroke your fucking dog. I don't want to see pictures of your cute pet. I don't care if he's "only being friendly", I want it the fuck away from me. Your funny stories involving your pets are not funny. And finally, I don't care that it died.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:23, Reply)

My sisters cat once dropped a still alive bird under her covers at 7am on a sunday morning.
That was pretty funny.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:25, Reply)

My cat nabbed a blackbird out of a tree and took it to my room to kill it.
It was a mummy one as well :( I think all the baby birds died.
(DeeDee, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Circle of life innit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:44, Reply)

True.
I can't really judge, I dropped a brick on a mouse the other day. And I didn't even try to eat it
(DeeDee, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:47, Reply)

You murdering bitch

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:09, Reply)

you sir are the worst kind of uncaring scum.
Tiddles was only 13, practically a kitten.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)

I don't mind the stories and that
but the "He's just being friendly" and the slobber on my new black dress is UNACCEPTABLE. The hole it has just pulled in my nice work trousers SHOULD COST YOU MONEY, you fucking retard.
I am disgusted by your critter. The only person who I allow my cat near is my bf, and he is well able to tell the little fucker to fuck off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)

The 'only being friendly'
really gets to me as well. I don't want dogs jumping up on me or slobbering on me.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I bet you punch them the fuck out
and all they are trying to do is love you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

As above
I don't really like dogs. Punching them out is second nature*

*actually means pushing them away
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Wasps
Fucking SHITCUNTS the lot of them.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:26, Reply)

THIS.
Bloody vicious, vindictive, stinging machines of the sky. Arseholes, so they are. They don't like Pledge, though, I can tell you.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

This.
A lot.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Stripy bastards!

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Mr Muscle stuns them as well
long enough to find a towel anyway
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I object to that new Mr Muscle cartoon.
What happened to the speccy weakling in the ads of old?

Probably on b3ta, actually.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)

All speccy folk are being banned from the telly

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:36, Reply)

especially when it's on fire

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Get one of these to sort them out
swatthefly.co.uk/

Smoke, sparks etc. Very satisfying to use.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)

We had one of those and they're shit.
But they're good for shocking humans a bit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Ours works fine. I want to upgrade it by connecting it to the mains so I can use it on 'trick or treat' cunts in a few days time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Ours blew up.
Maybe we were shocking humans too much.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:36, Reply)

I find human centipedes repulsive

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Snakes
no fucking need for those bastards
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Not as massive problem in wales though...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)

that's because
i cunted them all in the fuck
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:32, Reply)

They are cute.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:46, Reply)

cute need killing with fire
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:48, Reply)

you're in a very militaristic mood today Caves
who pissed in your porridge? Did Amberl punch your dog?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I'm not in a bad mood
but I am pretty riled up to do shit right now. Exciting but enormous responsibility/lots of work/short deadline thing at work and I'm off to see a house in a minute. I'm all adrenalin

are you better yet or what?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:52, Reply)

No, still dying
possibly getting a bit worse again.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:05, Reply)

cunt that illness in the fuck
right now. THis has gone on for too long. Did you go back to work too early?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I've had 7 days off in total
2 and then another 5 after I went back too soon the first time. this shit has gone on far to fucking long, but I can/will not put my entire life on gold for 3 weeks for anything less than fucking cancer.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:10, Reply)

That's good fighting talk!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:11, Reply)

While I think of it, I like dogs. Dogs are fun.
But why - DEAR GOD WHY - does my father-in-laws Police Dog (for that is what he is. As in, the FiL is a Dog Handler for the Police and they home kennel the dog) have to sit there looking at me with his willy out?

If I did that in a restaurant I'd be asked to leave.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:30, Reply)

if when
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Dogs are gay.
Gay and thick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:39, Reply)

SO YOU SHOULD GET ON FINE THEN LOLOLOLOL

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:41, Reply)

DAMN YOU.
DAMN YOU TO HELL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:41, Reply)

hello divinity
are you feeling any better today?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Greetings, ma'am.
Not really - I'm sucking on Strepsils like Foxtrot on a sailor's chub-on at the moment. They are 'extra strength'. They are weak as piss.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:44, Reply)

have you been to the doctor??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Yes.
I have a virus that could plague me for four weeks. As it is viral there is no point in anti-biotics. Woe is me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Sorry Monts, I think all the evidence is that I gave it to you.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Awe, you can't hate me.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:49, Reply)

You're right.
Give me a cuddle, please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Because dogs look stupid in pants?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:43, Reply)

they wouldn't look any better in pink socks
just saying, like.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I don't wear them to look good, sweetie.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:47, Reply)

this is like a choose your own adventure story
if you want a sarcastic response, turn to p9

if you would like to be mocked, turn to p11

if you would like ONLINE PANDERING, turn to p37

if you want me to agree with you, go to p41

etc
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:49, Reply)

*turns to page 37*
*unzips*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:51, Reply)

when you gaz me a picture of yourself wearing nothing but pink socks (syncubus)
i will fake pander you too!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:56, Reply)

I'll do many things for love
even fake online lawyer pandering, but buying pink socks is not one of them, no I won't do that. /meatloaf

I do have some pink/purple/blue striped fluffy bed socks, would that do?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Ah, now see
If I actually did gaz you a picture of me naked but for pink socks, you'd do more than pander

vomit, probably.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:12, Reply)

sorry
i passed out in terror at the thought for a bit.

as you were.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:35, Reply)

depends on the type of pants
I think BOXERS would be fine
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:44, Reply)

*kills self*
Stop the internet, I think Cavy's won.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:45, Reply)

\o/

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Hahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:46, Reply)

my brother hates horses. he calls them "remorseless kicking machines"
he says their bodies are far too big for their brains.

i know how they feel.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I'm no fan of sharks.
I mean, I can admire their ruthless efficiency and the evolutionary pinnacle they've reached, but the fuckers stop me swimming, surfing or otherwise entering the sea anywhere vaguely warm, which is out of order.

And wasps. Cunts, every man jack of them. Pointless cunts at that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:44, Reply)

how dare you talk about my colleagues like that?
you'll be on about rats next.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Oh, now come on
Even a shark wouldn't bill me posthumously for the time it took to eat me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:51, Reply)

only because they can't work
the billing system on the computer
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:56, Reply)

and sue your widow when you failed to pay?
don't kid yourself.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:56, Reply)

what, that actual sharks are now able to bill time?
terrifying.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Also
Bobby


how did I forget this earlier?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:45, Reply)

My favourite animal is the 'British Will Smith'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:52, Reply)

OH, HOW I HATE RICHARD BLACKWOOD.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I've met him, he talks very fast.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Blackwood's cunt level: DEFCON ONE.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 16:56, Reply)

How can you say that?
He's 'da man'!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:00, Reply)

We love you RB!

( Peej, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:01, Reply)

*BritishWillSmith fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:02, Reply)

I CHALLENGE EVERYONE TO NAME A SINGLE PERSON
WHO IS MORE VERSATILE AND TALENTED THAN THE BRITISH WILL SMITH.

He's the Leonardo da Vinci of third rate desperate 'celebrities'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:05, Reply)

This is why I check him every day on MTV

( Peej, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I name Cavy.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:08, Reply)

My acting skills are legendary
since the days of the village pantomime and the classically delivered line "but! - "
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:10, Reply)

See you've beaten Richard Blackwood right there.
Come to they, I think most of my infant school acting rolle beat him too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 17:12, Reply)