What a load of old shit this is.
I saw an advertisement for 'Children In Need' last night. I fucking hate it. It's an excuse for office tossers and general wankers to show off and act like an even more irritating cunt than usual, in your face, and all with the tenuous justification that it's for charity. Here's another idea - how about simply, quietly and privately donating to charity and stop being a waki fucking flid? No?

I prefer 'Comic Relief' - at least you get some hilarious footage of fly-blown Africans to cheer you up after the harrowing scenes of Lenny Henry....

EDIT: my question is: do you agree that public displays of charitable behaviour are likely to be ultimately narcissistic and borne of self-interest, and those proudly showing off their 'look at me I'm dressed like a cunt FOR CHARITY BECAUSE I'M RAISING MONEY FOR CHARITY BECAUSE THAT'S THE KIND OF PERSON I AM: CHARITABLE, YEAH?' should be smashed over and over again in the fucking face with a claw hammer until they stop?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:27, 256 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I always thought they were the same
I hate them because it's just an excuse for old attention-seeking comedians to get their faces back on tv
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)

just seen your angry edit
deciding not to contribute to this thread until you agree to some therapy
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:35, Reply)

All I need is a full night's sleep for fucking once.
Then I'll be fine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:38, Reply)

what's keeping you up?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Aggressive homosexuality.

( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Terminal was better, you ninja.

(berk, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

He's unlikely to die from it

( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

tell that to Barrymore

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

This is far and away your best ever post.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

even better than houmous the tank engine?
you flatterer, you
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Go and google Kaposi's sarcoma
or HIV, for that matter, and then come back and tell me how sorry you are for being wrong.
(berk, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

I said it was unlikely, not impossible
How about I google your stuff, you check an online dictionary and then we can either a) sit down and have a summit to decide a suitable compromise or b) engage in a kung fu battle to determine whose powers are greater?
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Isn't he the French prime minister?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Zimmer frame

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Stress.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

No, my answer is much funnier.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

have you considered medication?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

He self-medicates

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

honestly, I want to get 'that's the joke' printed onto a billboard
and then drop it on you
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

I have this bookmarked

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

the lack of apostrophe is bugging me

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I consider that a bonus.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

You are Dane Bowers AICM toe up the fanny

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:56, Reply)

You could
But I'd miss the point you'd be trying to make.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Or was that the joke?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

He's so senile he can't remember if he's been for a wee yet
and when he tries he doesn't know if it's because he's already been or because his prostate has swollen.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Every time I go to town I get harrassed by young hip kids who think they can get me to sign up for their charity just be telling me how lovely I am.
Yes I am lovely but I donate without having to be coerced into it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)

This
I tell them flat out that I refuse to give to charities that try to mug me on the street. Especially since the muggers are getting paid to do it.
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I go one further
I mug the "chugger" for what they have collected so far and donate it to another charity.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:37, Reply)

One of those shit ones for crying puppies or something.
Or if they are collecting for sick animals I donate it to Huntingdon Life Sciences.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:38, Reply)

'Tango's beer and pot fund'
Est 1984
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

A worthy cause, I'm sure you'll all agree

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I'm happy to donate a small sum.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

1+1
There you go, that's a fairly small sum
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

It's bullying and emotional blackmail and it disgusts me.
The implication is that they're doing voluntary work ie unpaid which is fucking hogwash. The cunts are on commission.

What I do is urinate into their collection buckets and then wipe my cancerous anus on their direct debit forms.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Then I push them headfirst into oncoming traffic.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

i fell for this
although to be fair i was looking for a charity to give to. On the upside she said she thought I was 28. now I'm meant to write to an albanian kid who likes football. Not really sure what to write.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:37, Reply)

"Are you single?"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Oi!
I already get offers from albania on the dating site without resorting to 11 year olds
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I don't think you should rule out grooming just yet
That's all I'm saying.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

err thanks
i'll give it a few more months before I resort to that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

"months"
Loving your optimism here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

HELLO YOU PRETTY LADY
MARRY ME SO I CAN COME TO YOUR COUNTRY?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

i have had a few of those
mostly from Morrocco, though. I think they wan tto sell me for camels
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

for s as a
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

your attitude is giving me the hump

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Well, you're not the first b3tan I've given the hump to, after all.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:52, Reply)

You've heard it here first
Agnostic Antichrist has somehow managed to sexually transmit scoliosis
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Hahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

"Hi, sorry that you live in Albania
and are going to be either poor or a Mafia footpad for your entire life?"
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

If I send you a football, can you score me some hard drugs, a gun, and a prostitute?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I tell them I already donate to a Cat Charity
they ask why, I tell them I don't like people and twitch a bit. Works like a charm.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I usually bang on about cancer charities, and why we donate to them. Shuts chuggers the fuck up. Mostly. Unless they're counts

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Or cunts

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

"Maybe you could give one pound, ah ah ah"
"2 pounds, ah ah ah"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I'M ON A FUCKING PHONE WITH MY BIG SAUSAGE FINGERS, YOU HEARTLESS COUNT!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I can do OK with the cancer ones
"can you spare 5 minutes for cancer research?"

"I've already given you four years, isn't that enough?"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Have you found a cure yet? You've had long enough.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:56, Reply)

haha.
actually, that one's probably out there somewhere in clinical trials. Was an anti-cervical cancer antibody fragment. Although the HPV vaccination is probably going to do more in that area tbh.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Yes

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I like that bit Ricky Gervais did where he got a load of people to plug their products in a studio that was set up to be some african village thing.
It made me laugh.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Every week there is a different lot of charity muggers.
I go to them "I'm not giving you my account details on a piece of paper in the street",
"BUT ITS 100% SECURE, ONLY CHARITIES CAN GET THE MONEY",
"No, that's not true, I pay plenty of direct debits to non charities.... remember when Clarkson posted his details in the paper?",
"BUT WE'RE 100% SECURE",
"No, you're a fucking scruffy scroat in the middle of the street with a tatty piece of paper and an over inflated sense of ego."

But my new one is "C'mon, there is someone here every week, every single week, I'm only one person, I already give to 3 of them, please can you find someone else? I don't need a guilt trip 'cus I'm not helping out the fucking africans, I'm only one person !"

My next one will be "I don't even agree with your cause, Africa has had enough chances now. Not enough money goes to the charity itself. In fact, fuck you. Yeah', fuck you. My electrictiy and gas bill is now about 20% of my income, they're telling me that the fuel prices are going up yet so have to increase their prices but they're also posting about record fiscal quaters. Apparently now 25% of people's benfit money is going on fuel prices. Fuck Africa, fuck Tigers, fuck pandas. I don't give a shit if every single fucking panda ends up on a dinner plate while grannies who have put in their whole lives are questioning weather they can remain warm or eat this winter. Well done on your fucking duke of eddingborough award you're getting for this, I'm sure it'll help you get a job in the future, you big selfless person, you.".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

I think I love you.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

LET'S ELOPE !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I think I'll get a big badge to wear for visits to town.
Fuck off chuggers.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:51, Reply)

There is a homeless person who sits around Farringdon station, I normally sort him out with some food if I don't finish my lunch.
Next time they're both there at the same time, and I have some spare lunch, I'm going to say "can we walk and talk?" (the awnser is always yes to that), so I'm gonna lead them to the homeless man and say to them "This is completely up to you, I can give him my sandwich, or I can sign up with you. I can't do both, your choice, I honestly don't mind eaither way.".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:01, Reply)

I love you, man
but all the happened to Clarkson was someone set up a charity DD. So, on that, he's got a point. You might pay DDs to lots of people, bills etc, but where is the advatage to anyone in setting up a fradulent gas bill payment?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Free gas?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:04, Reply)

you can only set up a DD for the address that the gas is supplied to.
and it'll need to match the bank address (if it doesn't you'd need permisson from the account holder)

So a fradulent DD off your account would only give you gas to your property .. which would seem a rather odd fraud.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Can you imagine if I set up £1/month to every registered charity in your name/details in the UK? Or something like that, if I could work out a way of automating it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

See below.
What for? there's nothing in it for you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Anyone who accepts DDs though, which are most subscription based company charges...
...will accept and take out the money, even if it does get refunded because it was fraudilent, it's still a fucking hassle. There is nothing to stop someone getting hold of that paper and, say, photocopying it and adding a '1' before whatever figure you put down.

Not just anyone can take out money, but that's not the only nafarious thing someone can do to your account.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Yeah, but most subscription companies provide a tangible service to an address
so, for instance, with your DD details I could set up a lovefilm subscription - but only to your address, because the addresses have to match. So it would be a fairly stupid fraud really. Charities are about the only thing where it could work, and fradulently contributing to a charity on your behalf is fairly odd. You still need the person'a address too (the journalist did it to Clarkson by getting his address from another source) .. although I apprectiate you give your address to the chugger wankers, too.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

Exactly, the details on that paper are the exact details needed to set it up (otherwise they wouldn't have asked).
See the above example with signing you up to everything. Say they do sign me up to Lovefilm, a few 100 similar things would require me to call up all these companies to cancel them or push me way over into the realms of debt. And can you imagine what it would be like to phone up all the charities to cancel? The amount of OH WOE IS ME they'll give you.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Yes, but WHY would someone do it, it my point?
there is absolutely fucking nothing for them to gain by doing it (unless they have a vendetta against you) and an awful lot to lose (being prosecuted for fraud)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:15, Reply)

That's exactly why someone would do it, financial gain is not the only motive for people to do nafarious things.... sometimes it's for the lols, sometimes it's for revenge, sometimes it's just 'cus they can.
Yes, there is a lot to potentially lose, fraud and all that, which would stop a lot of people, but not all people.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

sorry, had to work there
if you're worried about that than I suggest "don't be cunt to other people" is a better mantra than "never hand out you DD details"

You're being excessively paranoid though, mate, it's an awful lot of trouble for someone to go to in the name of "mildly inconveniencing" you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

All this talk of DDs is making me think about ladies' bosoms.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:27, Reply)

...and it's a click from me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:03, Reply)

The one after that should be
'sorry, I'm skint - I just gave £30 to a vagrant con-woman to fund a fatal overdose. Soz'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Oh well, if that's the case, that's another one off our streets, jobs-a-goodun.
She didn't call me back, Sad Times. I'm not going to obsses about it and phone up every hospital, police station and hostal looking for "Some black bird, anything between mid 30s and late 40s, saws all over her body, Dorian or something her name was".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:08, Reply)

oh great
this means I will be forced to buy cakes from drama students dressed in pjamas
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Comic Relief is exactly the same.
Sitting in a bath of beans and all that.
You can always just donate by card and not tell anyone, that way you don't have to wear a hat made of bananas or anything zany.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Precisely.
The whole thing is tawdry and vulgar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I used to like the news readers doing a musical number, I have to say.
But that was years ago, before Strictly Cum Bongo and that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I wear hats made of fruit already, why should I do it and give money.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Carmen miranda lols

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Darth can sit on your head?
I knew gays had balance, but honestly!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I sit on his face. It's only fair.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

But do you not think that doing something idiotic
is more likely to prompt people in to donating who otherwise wouldn't?
(berk, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Maybe.
But how many times can Ranvir Singh ask a bunch of building society staff how many laps of Accrington town centre they've wheeled on a brass bed before I'm shouting "Bring on the cast of some shit West End Musical, quick!"
I used to love those shows, the warm Wogany BBC in-jokey glow. But I don't know who anyone is anymore, there's no BBC Television Centre, and outside broadcasts are too slick.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Wogan even made Eurovision watchable.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:45, Reply)

But what about the Duke of Eddingborough award? How will I get one of those and be let into the freemasions without it?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Children in Need is a load of bollocks
I agree, Comic Relief is far better.

Alt: Not everyone, some people use their fame to raise a shedton of money whilst doing some quite unpleasant things, David Walliams being an example of this. I wouldn't even take a dip in the Thames, let alone swim in it for several days.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Yeah, it's hard to not be impressed with that.
It's like Jamie Oliver and his school dinner thing, whatever you think of him, he really is coming at it from an (politically) independant viewpoint.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Very true
Still can't stand the guy, but I respect him for that.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:48, Reply)

This. I find him unbearable
but I really can't fault his intentions and actions.
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I've been watching that Jamie in Amercia thing.
Christ it's depressing.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:48, Reply)

I was horrified at the one in England where the parents were sneaking the kids chippy orders.
I just thought that was fucking disgusting.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:50, Reply)

I know.
How can such a fat-tongued mockney wankstain be worth 100 million fucking quid?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Most people are self absorbed idiots
who need reminders to give to charity, that's what this stuff is. Serves a purpose of making money for people that need it, not that I like it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

this
I give to charity when I remember to do so. I am more likely to remember to do so if there's someone dressed as a fish waving a bucket and stickers in my face.
(berk, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

As long as they don't get in my face
when I'm trying to get somewhere, I'm far more likely to make a donation.
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Yes, they should.
It makes it harder for people who dress like a cunt because they enjoy it, like me to get the attention we deserve.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:43, Reply)

just like halloween
is for larpers
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Yes.
I am debating using Halloween as an excuse to look stupid, maybe I should wear my suit, just to be different.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I thought about this when I didn't get a place in the London Marathon
and they kept sending me e-mails saying I could get a charity place.

I just thought the entire concept of doing stuff like that for charity quite odd, it's "I'm going to run a long way, you must give money to this charity" why not just talk to your friends about their charitable activities and if they felt they might want to start giving a portion of their wages to charity.

I set up a couple of direct debits to charities, but it annoys me that the Red Cross pay people to phone me up every few months and ask me to increase what I'm giving them, but the Sally Army don't, and because I went along with the first phone call I now igve more money to the Red Cross than the Sally Army, but I've never once seen the red cross out in a shopping centre playing christmas carols, which is really the only reason I donate to the Sally Army.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

You gotta love a brass band
It almost makes Christmas bearable. Almost.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Really?
The sound of brass bands depresses me to near suicide. Fucking Hovis coal-mining temperance fucking CUNTS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
(Dad Joke, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Oh FFS, that took me a minute to get.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Took me two minutes.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

idon't know who you are
but i like this
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

It's an old /talk meme
one of the better ones. Not as good as igor, though. I miss igor. And police dog.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Internet Lawyerman quite amused me too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:57, Reply)

You know, thinking about it...
I'm not sure he was a real lawyer now. He seemed so convincing at the time.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Meat Loaf's disappointing etc.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I think David Brent,
dressed as a chicken or whatever, in The Office, answers this question.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:49, Reply)

dressed as a chicken or whatever, in The Office, answers this question. should be shot for being an unfunny cunt in a shit fucking show.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Afternoon DF

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I thought DF liked the Office?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Dare you to suggest that to him

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Done

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Told you he does.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:12, Reply)

I honestly class Ricky Gervais as my favorite comedian, everything he's done makes me lol.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

See i'm torn, I do find his standup stuff quite funny at times
but he's such a vile person, that whole "An Idiot Abroad" thing is just an excuse for him to bully someone else and call it entertainment, and while the odd clip i've seen looks amusing, it's still a smug vehicle for him being a cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I watch that show, Karl's really very funny.
But Gervais and Merchant really are very unpleasant people judging by the way they talk to him.
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I reckon off-TV Karl is just one of the lads, most social groups have someone who gets it ripped a bit more than the others...
... and if you listen to his podcasts, he re-uses 'jokes'*, so he must have understood that they were funny even though he ment them seriously at the time, so is rolling with it.

* For lack of a better word, I mean, normally funny little sayings that are amusing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:17, Reply)

You are Natalie Umbongo-ulia AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

You need ferarpy Gonz.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:33, Reply)

The Office was excellent

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I thought it was good, before I realised that it was actually just Ricky Gervais being Ricky Gervais.
I find it difficult to laugh at someone acting as a complete cunt when you know that they are actually just a complete cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:01, Reply)

^ this
and in every subsequent thing he's done he's Ricky Gervais being Ricky Gervais who is naturally a cunt
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

I struggle to think of anything I've enjoyed watching less.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:04, Reply)

^this, harder than a diamond-tipped erection.
I mean, I can see why it's funny. It's only going to appeal to a certain personality though, and to me watching it is like having teeth pulled. Absolutely fucking awful. Also, Al's point above is pretty spot on.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

The american one is really good too, it's really come into it's own now.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Well obviously.
Have you seen any of the American version? No no no no no.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:01, Reply)

100% agreement.
At least next month is Mowvember, so it's easy to spot the cunts.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

See, this annoys me, I'm currently sporting a handlebar moustace, just for the sake of it, and because it annoys the wife


But I don't want to get lumped in with people growing "comedy" facial hair for charity.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:11, Reply)

barryheadwound of /board managed to grow a rather impressive moustache last year
And I wouldn't dare insult him, even if it was shite, haha.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

*puckers up*

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Your'e soo heavy metal that even your facial hair looks like a handle of a sword.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I tend to shave once a week, and sometimes let it go longer
but last November I ended up shaving daily just to get people to stop asking me about Mowvember.

I wanted to say 'mistaking me for a cunt' but I think I meant 'mistaking the reasons why I'm a cunt'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:16, Reply)

don't worry, no-one will mistake that for a comedy moustache
it's tragic
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:16, Reply)

That looks ginger

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I think he describes it as "strawberry blonde"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

He's deffo got ginger pubes

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:22, Reply)

It looks even more gingery if it gets longer.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:26, Reply)

This ginger?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Well, no.
I am far more olive skinned than that person.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

It's possible that he is the whitest man alive.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Have you linked that wrestler again AA?
I swares you be gay for him
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Have I linked him before?
Fucking hell, haha
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I'm certain this has absolutely nothing to do with
distracting attention from your gleaming, egg-like pate. Nothing whatsoever.

Looking at that pic you also look like an albino version of the bentest (a fairly major claim) one from the Darkness, the one with the short hair. The bent one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

haha!
this
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:22, Reply)

None of them have short hair any more
but I assume you mean the bass player

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

If you nicked some of Lusty's hair and glued it onto your head ^ THAT is what the result would be.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:33, Reply)

So my time spent trawling the contents of your shower water trap has not been in vain.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I fucking KNEW it.
Lusty reckoned we had a mouse.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

A Pe-mouse.
No, that doesn't work at all.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I'm doing that, but only because I'm waki and a fun guy to be around, yet kind hearted too.
I don't see how knowing nothing about the chaitable cause(s) or indeed how little of the monies I collect will ever make it to any of these shams should hold me back.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I'm doing Movember
:*(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Really?
I'm doing your dad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I think this post should be the subject of todays £100 bet.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:27, Reply)

YOU'RE ON.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Hang on a minute.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:30, Reply)

TOO LATE!
It's your money on the line.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Is an IOU any good?
Maybe I could wash your car for a month?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:39, Reply)

With paint stripper?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Oooooo, below the belt DG, below the belt.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:45, Reply)

You want Monty to wash you below the belt?
Filthy pervert.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Especially when he uses paint stripper
it makes my balls feel tingly. After a while Natural Source Mint Shower Gel doesn't do enough for me.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

i can only read al's comment
in a camp, mincing voice now.

shame on you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

It's funny because that's how he talks irl.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

He also has a lisp and a massive tongue that causes him to dribble like a mong.
It's very endearing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

you're thinking of jamie oliver

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Well you don't usually strike me as a cunt.
So we'll assume it's a blip.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

moustache fives

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Are you going to charge for the privilege of smacking you in the face?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

For you, it'll be free.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

This is excellent news
because I'm poor
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I agree completely.
Because let's be honest, whenever you do something for charity, be it donating money or collecting money on the street, and whether you tell people or not, you feel warm and fuzzy inside. I don't care what anyone says, it's not 100% selfless because of the self worth you get from it. So why on top of that you need to do something 'wacky' so that everyone else will know you're raising money, is beyond me. In fact I think it's a little bit selfish. I suppose it's for a good cause, but I dunno, it riles a bit.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:19, Reply)

You are Phoebe AICMFP

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:23, Reply)

ALL-OUT FEUD IT IN THE TITS

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Do you not think that charity,
is a good excuse for government to use your tax on other things, weaponry, wars, lavish piss-ups etc?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:26, Reply)

If this is so I actually might start donating to them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I Think charitable giving should be anonymous
I'll give to a worthy cause, or one that I think may be able to help me in the future, such as air ambulances and RNLI.

But stick a bucket in my face when I'm trying to leave asda, and I'm more likely to throw up in it than give my hard earned dosh over.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:27, Reply)

You should stop eating the ASDA sausage rolls while you shop then.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I save the wrappers so they can scan them
I'm not dishonest.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

I don't like giving money to Africa
Not because I think that by the time the value of my docation reaches those that desperatly need it it will be been skimmed by the charity and countless 'government officals', but because I hate black people
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I avoid chuggers pretty well
I don't like being guilted or run after by animal charities though. My response is generally that when I (rarely) have enough money to donate I'd rather help a starving child, than an animal. The Great British Public of course reacts to this like I've actually kicked a dog myself
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Woah you be trollin
Everyone knows that the ickle panda beats the black kid with flies in his face EVERY TIME
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Charity Top Trumps.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Of course it does
The fate of some obscure moth is MORE important than some black child starving in Africa who can be replaced in an instant.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:35, Reply)

To be fair, they do replace them quick quickly, in fact, that's partly the problem.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

^ This.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Amazon can deliver almost anything next day.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

It quite possibly is.
Eco system and all that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Oh no, wait, I'm thinking about sharks.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Foriegn animal vs forign child.... it's a draw.
Domestic animal, like a dog vs forign child though.... and I'd have to think about it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I'm not really that fond of animals
though I do like cats. So the idea of donating money to the RSPCA or the Dog's Trust just doesn't make sense to me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:39, Reply)

They should open up a chain of Korean restaurants in Africa.
Solve two problems in one go.
( Kroney, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I have no problem with Chuggers.
It's that Maggie Philbin that winds me up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Didn't he ended up as an alcoholic?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Yeah, but he is on the wagon now
Cheggers drinks pop.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

because Cheggers can't be boozers.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:43, Reply)

clap





clap




clap
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Monty!
Monty! Did you hear that!? That was the sound of you oweing me £100.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Oh FFS

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

We have a winner!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I know, I know.
But after Cheggers Drinks Pop we had to complete the full set.


And anyway, has anyone ever known be be scared of the obvious joke yet? I'm not changing for no one.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

So does this mean I should shave my upper lip for movember?
Or will it be clear to all I'm not one of you freaks?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

I think yours if far too well established to look like the other freaks.

( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

No one will eever mistake you for anything but a unwashed socialist layabout

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:45, Reply)

An unwashed, socialist layabout with a job.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

Who washes.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

you say this...
but i remember you at the bash.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

You can have your watch back.
Turns out it's a fake. Only worth a tenner.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

it fucking well is NOT
that is how you spell goochee, ok?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I don't think we got close enough to smell.
This is just because I agreed, when Chompy called you a spoiled little rich girl, isn't it?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Only because you leave your protest tent every night to go home and sleep in the bed MY TAXES PAID FOR
/lolatics
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Actually because I live in a house
thus betraying my comrades in arms and their silly protest.

BTW apparently they're getting all anti-Semitic, which is nice.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

A clutch of geniuses that lot
Jews are to blame for our financial woes...where have I heard that before? oh yeah, all of history.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Basically.
It's quite funny because my one friend who is/was particiapting is jewish and now she's all disillusioned. I shouldn't laugh.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Mind if I laugh for you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Go for it.
I don't think any one takes then seriously but them selves. Proper anarchists certainly view it as a comedy.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:05, Reply)

"Proper" anarchists are fucking tools, and I would argue all utter hypocrites to a man.
Anyone who doesn't believe in society and yet lives in houses built by other people and buy food grown by other people and rely on health services and policing and all the rest of the things that are only possible within a structured society is a fucking tool.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:16, Reply)

As I am not one I won't argue their side for them.
I will however, should I get the change introduce you to a mate of mine who will happily talk your ear off on the subject and I will be a happy spectator.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:22, Reply)

What does your friend do for a living?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:25, Reply)

That smells awfully like a smear campaign.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Fucking hell, not you too. Jews don't smell!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

I have it via my friend who's GF (my friend mentioned above) if s involved.
Granted he didn't specify she'd heard it with her own ears, but he implied it. Give me a second I'll copy and past from IM.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

So you're going to post a story from someone else with no corrobarative evidence?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Basically.
You can take my word that I didn't make it up but it's purely hearsay, I'm just making the point I didn't read it in the Mail.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

If anyone cares:
Edited to remove names and witty banter:

Me:how's you and yours? X been arrested yet?

Him: I think she's getting a bit disillusioned with the whole business, especially since anti-semitic things are coming into it.

Me: anti semitic?

Him: Rothschild, Lehman brothers, etc. It's a conspiracy!

Me: dear me, well not surprising really, but a shame all the same

Him: It doesn't seem to be the official line, but that's the problem with social media and open comments.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

There's a lot of idiots around, and they tend to be the ones talking the most.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Always the way, sadly.
I'd argue more likely with this protest as it seems so unfocussed, which is a shame.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:11, Reply)

For the sake of balance, here's two news stories about it (US based):
Right wing: frontpagemag.com/2011/10/26/the-anti-semites-of-occupy-wall-street/
Left wing: www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-green/the-right-wing-attempt-to_b_1030562.html
(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Excellent.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I've been to busy to check, but what do you fellows think of the empty tents outside St Pauls?
The hard nosed anti capitalist demonstrators are going home to their nice warm homes rather than roughing it on the steps. There's conviction for you.

I particularly enjoy the idea of scanning the tents with an IR camera to see which ones contain an angry crusty.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

They should at least sub-let their tent to a tramp.
Ah. Hang on. That's capitalist behaviour. They won't like that.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Some old hippy on the telly said that everyone had to go home and feed their cats.
I thought that was rather too much of a generalisation.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

They are useless cunts like most protesters
they don't know what they wnat and hardly even know what they are protesting against.

i find it astonishing that we can't just pick up their tents and move them on.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Just remove the empty tents very quietly each night.
Then charge anyone who complains, with littering or fly tipping.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Consider yourself promoted to chief of police
Commisioner
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

If you can remove and blow up an unattended suitcase as a security risk, it must be possible to remove an unattended tent on the same basis, surely?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I might pop in on my way home
and have a stinking, splattery shit in every tent I can. Just for a laugh, like.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

They'll only accuse you of being Jewish

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Worth the detour I should think
Better have a couple of Ginsters now so you are fully primed for later.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

and 8 pints of Guinness.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

This also sound like a smear campaign
since the police have stated that they have not given any occupancy rates.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

There is a video doing the rounds

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I think it was a newspaper that used the camera
I don't think constable Savage would know how to use one.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I think they are well intentioned
but sadly lacking focus, I'm as much in favour of an anti-capitalist uprising as the next man, but this lot do not seem to know what they want, or even what they are protesting. It's a sad waste of a lot of anger.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 26 Oct 2011, 14:13, Reply)