Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good morrow, onanists.Bad: I am weary and glum this day.
Bad: I shan't see my dear gf until Sunday lunchtime now
Good: Little'un tonight, so great joy at the end of my day
Good: Thursday means 'nearly there'
Two 'bads' and two 'goods' each, in an orderly fashion, please. Come along, chop chop.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:15,
267 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
Good: Had a very successful job trial today.
Good: Seven days til the Melbourne Lindy Exchange
Bad : Nothing
Bad : Nothing.
Sorry Monty old bean, I just don't have anything bad today!
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:21, Reply)
Oh come now.Surely there's something? Not bothered about the starving children in the world? On a children-related note, some nonce who bummed little boys has just been sentenced over here. His name? 'Michael Jackson'. I was chuckling about this on the tube when I realised the woman next to me could see my newspaper and must have thought I was a dreadful rotter to have been quietly lolling about the abduction and subsequent bumming of a ten-year-old. I did manage to conceal my erection, though, so it could have been worse.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:24,
Reply)
You ARE a dreadful person, we all know this.And truly, nup. Nothing. Nothing has gone wrong today. Sure I'm a little tired, and it's a little warm for comfort, but nothing has upset me or pissed me off. And I'm so excited about next week that I'm just about bouncing.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:27, Reply)
What about this 'job trial' then?Do tell.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:28,
Reply)
Nothing glamourous,just cleaning hotel rooms and making the place look nice. On Saturday I have a different trial as a kitchen hand. This one I am apprehensive of - I foresee blood and bits of carrot everywhere!
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:31, Reply)
Sounds like my normal Saturday night.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:34,
Reply)
I didn't used to have a peeler, meaning that if I did carrots, it could be a bit dangerous.Never injured myself, but saw sense after the first couple of times, and bought a peeler.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:34,
Reply)
I did that once.I fucking hated it. I also left a bit of finger nail in the cheese I was grating for the staff Christmas party, but I warned the people that I liked that I had done it. Which meant I warned nobody.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:35,
Reply)
I'll exchange you your Chamberlain for our Layton(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:27,
Reply)
*is sat around at home**makes new friends on the telephone*
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:31,
Reply)
*dances unconvincingly with dumb bell*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:32,
Reply)
*falls asleep and wakes up suddenly to find that cunt James Whale is now on*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
She's the girl from the Heinz ad where she sucks up the spaghetti then says "Oh, hi Richard!"(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
The CuriousIncident of The Boyce in the Night.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:26,
Reply)
Bad: It's not FridayGood: I am only on a half day when it is Friday.
Good: In 29 hours time I'll be sitting on a train heading to The Lake District to go walking again.
Bad: This means I don't get to go and see the Essex Derby on Saturday when Southend go to Dagenham.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:29,
Reply)
Bad: Slightly hungover and fed up.
Bad: I'm getting a new car next year and I'm quite sad about it. I really love my current car.
Good: Going to visit tourettes and DG in a couple of weeks.
Good: I'm wearing my favorite shirt today.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:31,
Reply)
How can it bad, to get a new car?You sound like Swipey.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:44,
Reply)
I really like my current car but it's getting on a bit now and it's costly to insure and tax.(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:45,
Reply)
So long as the new car is as good as the old, that's good for you surely?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:47,
Reply)
I know the feeling.I gave my first two cars to a banger racer, then watched as he raced and wrecked them. A heroic ending I thought.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:55,
Reply)
Morning MontyBad: Today is going to be seriously fucking busy, because the IT staff (i.e. me and one other person) were only informed at 5:15 yesterday that we have a new starter today, we have no new PC for them, nothing installed on any machine, nothing. This should be fun(!)
Bad: Utterly skint until next Friday
Good: Should be able to make it without any huge issues.
Good: If I'm really stuck, I can text my Dad and lend £10 off him.
I started playing a Scrabble copy on Facebook last night. In my first game I was beaten quite badly. I probably didn't help myself by keeping hold of a Z for most of the game.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:32,
Reply)
Ooh, I'll play you at scrabble.Although I won't be around much for a few days so it would be a slow game.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:33,
Reply)
Just challenged youI'm not *officially* allowed on facebook during work hours, so I'll have to sneak on from time to time.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:37,
Reply)
Yeah, me too, so it will take a few days to get through I'm sure.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:41,
Reply)
I can do that with scrabble without too much of a worryI applaud those who are able to do it with Chess, any slowing down in the game of that at all drives me up the wall.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:43,
Reply)
I just can't play Chess at all.I am beyond useless at it. I've never taken the time to learn anything beyond the basic moves, I wouldn't even know how to do that castling thing, which I am led to believe is a pretty fundamental part of the game.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:45,
Reply)
Once upon a time, I was pretty damn good at itMy Mum taught my brothers and I to a high standard, to a point where they both won awards at their school. The only time I was ever able to actually represent the school, I won 3 matches in one day. However, I left soon afterwards, and lost my passion for competing in it for a few years. I'd play it after school, but never with any real conviction.
It wasn't until I was about 19 when I played my brother at Christmas, and rediscovered the joy of it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:49,
Reply)
I used to play against my Granddadbut he'd let me win. So let that be a lesson, if you want a child to be useless at something, fool them into thinking they are good at it.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:50,
Reply)
My Mum would play us in 3 out of 5Let us win convincingly once, it'd be closer second game, then she'd batter us in the next three games. Certainly taught you against being a sore winner quickly. Also, it helped your game to lose.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:53,
Reply)
lend or borrow?You northern types are mental.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:36,
Reply)
Arse, you are correctOddly, with any other sum of money, I always write borrow.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:39,
Reply)
Bad: I have man flu.
Bad: I am shattered and even more irritable than usual.
Good: My daughter is ace.
Good: erm...
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:34,
Reply)
yeahNot everyday you get a nice 'erm'.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:37,
Reply)
I have been erming myself in the shower for months. It's the only erm I am getting at the moment.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:39,
Reply)
Wife still recovering from giving birth.Crap excuse if you ask me.
*demands conjugal rights*
*ducks a punch from wife*
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
Good: I still have 5 free days holiday to take before Christmas.
Good: Weekend almost here.
Bad: My partner's sister has admitted to be an alkey, which means no excessive drinking for me over the Christmas period. Just in case I become one too.
Bad: Nothing else really.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:37,
Reply)
could be worse mateShe might have come out as a veggie.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:39,
Reply)
If anyone in my family turned veggie and insisted we did the same at Christmas, I think I'd kill them.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:40,
Reply)
...and then eat them, purely for ironylolz purposes.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:44,
Reply)
That would be worse, true.We ran out of lettuce on Sunday, and sprouts were substituted. This was not a very good idea. I couldn't face all of Christmas in a sprout laden fog.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:42,
Reply)
I am struggling to think of any dishwhere I'd consider lettuce and sprouts as interchangable.
What were you eating?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:49,
Reply)
OK, Mr Pedant.What dish was being eaten where sprouts were considered as a viable substitute for lettuce?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:52,
Reply)
Haha, couldn't resist it.Could you have them instead of lettuce with pine nuts and pesto for some sort of shitty starter?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:53,
Reply)
We had pizza with a green salad.She found out she had forgotten the lettuce and replaced this with warm sprouts.
Not recomended
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:53,
Reply)
Yeah, I don't think it would have occured to me to even try that.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:59,
Reply)
Spouts are for Christmas, not for lifeOr something.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:00,
Reply)
I like sprouts, but not as a suprise.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:02,
Reply)
Spouts are certainly for something other than eating.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:09,
Reply)
Are you saying that you like to put sprouts up your bottom?Yes, I think you are saying that, aren't you?
Is there no level of depravity to which you will not stoop?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
I refer you to previous answersabout periods of time for which I am unable to account.
I am in the unenviable position of not being able to deny with 100% confidence any accusations that come my way.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:12,
Reply)
Spilling seed on the ground...Bad: Despite my best efforts to scrape what bits of dust and twig that remain at the bottom of my tin, I must resign myself to the fact that I have now run out of weed and must begin a new life as a non-smoker.
Bad: There simply aren't enough hours in the day to do the things I want to do as well as the things I need to do and work full-time. The only room I have for manoeuvre available to me is reduced sleep.
Good: When my next child is born, in December, combining my paternity leave with Christmas holiday means I will get the best part of a month off work.
Good: Work is progressing nicely on my band's album. It is truly a joy to create music.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:45,
Reply)
TodayGood: My ex-employers have accepted that they actually have to pay me what they promised.
Bad: I'll have to wait another 4 days for it.
Good: G/F and Emily coming over tonight for a home made Chinese meal
Bad: I'll have to brave public transport to get some of the ingredients.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:46, Reply)
dunno, neither really.I'm just a bit beige today.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:52,
Reply)
If I was a girl and read blogs and shit, it might be like this.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
The partner module asked me to look at that last night only this is how it went down.
"Just type in hyper boil on google."
????? Fucking what? I don't want to see that shit. Why would I want to see a boil, even one that is huge.
"What? No it's a cool blog. Perhaps I'm saying the word wrong..."
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:00,
Reply)
I like the drawings, they made me lolaugh(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:03,
Reply)
The post she wrote about depression is both sad and brilliant.And according to a few people, a fairly good way of putting it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:04,
Reply)
I really liked that one, yeah.It was pretty close to how being a fucking lush is too.
edit: Having now clicked the link, that IS the one about depression up there.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:10,
Reply)
I like the one about cake.It pretty much sums my son up as he is impulsive and has no ability to control himself for some things.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:13,
Reply)
Bad: Horribly hung-overGood: I'm going back to sleep
Bad: I'm not sure I want to wake up
Good: I probably will
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 8:58, Reply)
Good: I received a completely unexpected tax refund cheque which has now clearedgood: pint at the german christmas market in birmingham tonight with my best mate.
bad: I missed my usual train and am now hugely late for work.
bad: I am fucking knackered and irritable.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:02, Reply)
When news of the tax rebates started appearing, I tentatively enquired if I was entitled to anySadly, a big fat 'No'.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:03,
Reply)
Mrs Cow is getting £140 tax back from her union fees - woop!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
MorningBad: My foot hurts
Bad: My fellow developer has decided it's the right time to start asking for more money. It's more likely that he'll be shown the door and I'll be saying hello to his workload.
Good: Had two parent/teacher evenings last night, one of which went as well as expected and one that was a lot better than expected.
Good: I ordered an original full size poster of the film 'Midnight Sting' last night. I'm going to put it in a clip frame for an Xmas present for my eldest son. I'm probably the only other person in the world who'd appreciate that present.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:03,
Reply)
Good: It's a beautiful sunny day!Good: The kind of day where anything can happen and we can change the world :)
Bad: Except of course the world won't change apart from the realisation that life is essentially a futile exercise as we shuffle increasingly painfully towards senility, incontinence and death.
Bad: And I'm quite hungry :(
(
broadsword, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:11,
Reply)
I'm also hungry.I can't be arsed doing anything about it though.
lollazyhunger
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:22,
Reply)
Good: got a good night's sleep, second night in a row
Good: going out for a meal tonight
Bad: can't get hammered as it's with my cow-orkers
Bad: forking out a grand for roof repairs and they can't even start till next week
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:18,
Reply)
....and just what is wrong with cow-orkers?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
They can't handle their booze.No thumbs, see.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:31,
Reply)
It's important they not get to draw a cock on my neckAs I'm in on Friday
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:42,
Reply)
Morning allGood: I've ordered a print of a peguin picture that my daughter did to frame and put up in her room
Good: Strawberry flapjack and toffee latte
Bad: Car in for "free" winter service today which will no doubt end up costing me a fortune
Bad: Bosses Boss appears to be going mental. In 5 mins yesterday he rang me to give me a massive bollocking over a document that we didn't write or know about being out of date, then emailed the Managing Director and my boss with a huge thank you email from a customer.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:21,
Reply)
Hello?Is this thing on?.....
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:30,
Reply)
I can see them twitching!like my cock
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:33,
Reply)
Try switching it off and back on again.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:33,
Reply)
Still seems to be running slowly though(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:36,
Reply)
That's just me*licks screen*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:40,
Reply)
Good: Invited to a party tonight
Good: The girl I fancy the pants off is going
Bad: Her and the girl who's party it is are the only two people I know, it's got the potential to be horrifically awkward
Double mega bad: It's fancy dress. I fucking hate fancy dress.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:36, Reply)
I think the solution to all four points is MDsWell, maybe not the second one. Perhaps a new jacket?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:37,
Reply)
If it wasn't dry as a bone for ketamine up here I'd do a load before going in and watch hilarity ensue.And I bought a new jacket for tonight, of course I did.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:39, Reply)
My friend in the, ah, trade, says there's none down here either.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
Those greedy horses gobbling it all up again, eh?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
Damn injured horses!*shakes fist at horse*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:50,
Reply)
We can't find it anywhere. There's one guy that knocks it out but it's completely different stuff, sends you loopy. So much so my mate thought he'd actually gone loopy and walked to the hospital whilst on it.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Fancy dress idea: Go as a respectable member of societythen steal all the coats
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:39,
Reply)
Needs MOAR fighting with the neighbours(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:40,
Reply)
It's an animal theme.I might go as a magpie and nick all the shiny electronic goods I come across.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)
Go as Bruce WayneDress normally
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:40,
Reply)
Good: I had a KitKat for breakfastGood: I have to go to Ikea so I can have a 99p fried second breakfast and free coffee when I'm there
Bad: I have to go to Ikea
Bad: I was woken by the little'un six times last night. The baby also woke up.
(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:37,
Reply)
Wooks called me an alcoholic yesterdayI'm not sure if this is good or bad.
I am in a good mood though because of something I'm not going to tell the likes of you people
(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:37,
Reply)
Oh, that reminds me, it's going to be my wedding anniversary soon.*fits coil, buys condoms, takes pill*
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:40,
Reply)
*takes bets you'll still get pregnant*(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:42,
Reply)
It's like they have tiny little jackhammers(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
No, I went out with wooks last night and when I got home I was tiredand in a weird mood from work so I went to bed and read some more of my book. Which is very good (Motherless Brooklyn if anyone cares).
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:41,
Reply)
No, that was the day before yesterday(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:48,
Reply)
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:38,
Reply)
Not a big sherry fanStill in the fussy stage of my alcoholism
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:41,
Reply)
Same here.I can't wait till I'm happy with the cheap booze.
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girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:43,
Reply)
Probably not :(*hides the white spirit and deicer*
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:46,
Reply)
You should hide booze when you are drunk.That way you won't remember where you hid it. I fully expect to find a bottle of vodka hidden with the Christmas Decorations or something one day.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:52,
Reply)
MehBad: argument with Ms Foxtrot this morning
Bad: my innate neediness means I shall be dwelling on this all day
Good: Managed 7km on the treadmill this morning
Good: I've lost 9lbs in the last four weeks
It was a massive fucking struggle not to carry on with the bads. Be warned, b3ta, I am EMO today.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)
He fucking scares meThere is an extra chromosome in there somewhere
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:49,
Reply)
Actual mental?Or "look at me I'm so waki and therefore highly amusing" mental
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:55, Reply)
BIT?!Like Hitler was a BIT of a Jew hater
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:55,
Reply)
Strikethrough on a capital E doesn't really work, does it?Nonetheless; very good *cricket applause*
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)
BusyNot that you'd know that by the amount of time I've spent here so far today. But I'll just disappear at some point I expect.
You, good sir?
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:51,
Reply)
Fucking shit, but I really must stop beakering and MTFUI've got plenty to do as well, shall probably follow your disappearing example before too long
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:52, Reply)
Either cut yourself or just man the fuck up.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:44,
Reply)
That's very good GaryWhy can't all your posts be this funny? Ooh, did you see the thread I started last night enquiring whether we were too harsh on you, and newbies in general? You came out of it VERY well
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)
I kniow rite!all this ploying for attention i keep done is actually work!
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:50, Reply)
You'll soon be confident enough to talk to a real woman!(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:52,
Reply)
woohoo!are you sayin lady quents int a real woman? she is you know, she got big ol babylons to prove it and a right hairy muff
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Hopefully not an English oneNothing kills romance stone dead like correction of the use of the past participle
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)
I find it easier to read his posts with a Yorkshire accent.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:59,
Reply)
Haha!This works better than expected!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:59,
Reply)
Really? It comes across as a thick Bristol accent to meI think it is his repeated use of "fucken"
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:00,
Reply)
See, that could be NE tooYa fucken gunt
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:01,
Reply)
Whatever works, as long as we can find some way of understanding this poor dyslexic latent homosexual.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
More a fact than anything.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:09,
Reply)
Will there be jelly and tizer?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:25,
Reply)
look, fairyi ent gopt no problem with you shirt lifters, ever since womens lib you guys have been doin alright, i like your fashion, some of your music ain't bad and the colours of your flag remind me of kids tv, but you CANNOT be correctin me english when you've been firing your love custard up anuva man's shitpipe
caprice?
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:00, Reply)
CapriceShe used to model Wonderbras and now looks like a doll
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:03,
Reply)
eee by gum ladI could right go pastie quite soon. You big puff, get back downt pit and stop larkin about on tinternet.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:01,
Reply)
*prepares razor*All those of you without bumAIDS might want to step back out of the splashzone
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:50, Reply)
For the full emo, carve I LOVE GARY on your arm.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:52,
Reply)
Can I write most of it and carve the last bit of the Y?It might hurt
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:54, Reply)
It's like those Manics fans who used to write 4 REAL on their arms in pen or lipstickIf they'd needed help, they only needed to ask. I would gladly have carved up a Manics fan with a razor blade.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
Good plan.You can do the G and A later on.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:59,
Reply)
There's NO way you'll feel down(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:02,
Reply)
bad: YOUR ALL PRICKSbad: i sent some tasteful nude photos of myself to my girlfriedn
badder: she's shown them to one of her mates
baddest: her mate's posted them on facebook
most worst of all: I'm bakc, and your still all PRCIKS
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Morning Gary.They all love you really. Try making more jokes about darth being gay, I think that's what they're all after.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:46,
Reply)
I must have missed the reason for Mrs Foxtrot being a paedo(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
cos she looks well young and he fucks kids or somethingi dunno bit lost to be hoenst mate
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:48, Reply)
It's what appears to get people clicking for you.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:47,
Reply)
I'm still not convinced this isn't truthy(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:08,
Reply)
Her absence since Quentin lowered the average IQ round here is noticable(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:22, Reply)
she got in trouble with the boss man, accounts systems fucked and shes pretty shit at her jobi hope she dies
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:23, Reply)
if it is the case that you're the same person, you shouldn't hope she dies.(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
she sits to my left, got thick purplpe specs and is currently wearing what appears to be a donkey jacketi wish i was making this up, seriously
voice like a man, face like a mong, utter geek, crap at her job, hope she dies
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)
why? we're friends on fB, she mostly talks about chelsea FC and games and stuff like some sort of MONGin fact she looks lot like a mong
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Tricky.Bad:Relations with my ex-wife are somewhat strained
Bad: I'm going to stop smoking in a day or so, probably tomorrow actually and that tends to be a ball-ache.
Good: I feel fairly rested and have a fairly relaxing day today
Good: Catching up with a friend after work
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 9:53,
Reply)
Bad: Walked in to 38 emails even though I had my out of office onBad: Very tired and overslept
Good: flat to myself tonight, an evening of rimming is planed
Good: I'm kicking IT's arse at the passive aggressive email game.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Skyrim? or is your eveing a bit more fruity than that?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:13,
Reply)
Skyrim, I haven't got to play it since sunday.I've barely got anywhere.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I have no games console :'(Can I come round and have a shot?
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:15,
Reply)
you're not a teenage girlhe's not going to say yes.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
today...Bad- Monty Boyce
Bad- Monty Boyce
Good- putting Monty Boyce on lolignore
Good- alerting the police to Monty Boyce's bumming activities.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:07, Reply)
Bad: I've left my phone at homeBad: I had to be in early this morning
Good: I'm totally going to be applying for jobs
Good: I can finish early
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:08,
Reply)
Alright kiddaI'm glad you're over that terrible trauma.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:26,
Reply)
i was pretty upset for a while there, they need to put counselling and one of them alarms buttons on these boards(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:27, Reply)
At least Darth admitted they were bastards.I mean, the Krays could never do that.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
But they did love their mum(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
To be honest they weren't as hard as the people off OT when they start though. It could ruin a man. Or woman. Or Loretta.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
i reported them to a mod and he threatened to ban me, dunno where to go after thatis thios sort of thing covered by Ofcom or summat?
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)
is that a song? it sounds like a song like the kind of song i might likesort of electronica with some mosrrisey or something?(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:32, Reply)
I've got a mouthpiece microphone on and blue lips and crimped hairand I'm standing at a synthesizer wailing "WHAT KINDA WOOOOOORLD ARE WE LIVIN' EEEEEE-IN"
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
i'm gonna send you a tape of my singing and we could lay down a track together!this'll be brill!
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)
I quite like the new Roota screeee meme(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:28,
Reply)
Where do I start?Bad - overslept
Bad - boss isn't in today to onus falls on me to do everything he would usually do on top of normal work.
Good - It's Thursday and I get paid tomorrow so tonight will be full of lashings of beer.
Good - I got the last apple this morning from the basket. Smug.
Good - I made croissants last weekend. From scratch. Yes. Validation plz.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:22, Reply)
My boss isn't in and I have to do the same, but I'm hoping nothing happens so I can bury my head in the sand over here, and surreptitiously get information from the secretaries that will enable me to apply for jobs.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:24,
Reply)
To be fair it's nothing I haven't done beforeit's just crowbarring it into the day that's the problem.
Are these jobs in Edinburgh?
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Ditto.Aye. I mean 'aye' in the scouse sense.
(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
good: my cold is nearly gone and i have a nice night out latergood: i somehow have £1,000 more this month than seems to be usual, so i can hit westfield at the weekend for a new pair of boots and some christmas shopping
bad: i have some dull work to shift today
bad: depends who's on here today
also good: qotw changes today. has there ever been a question i was less likely to be able to contribute to?!
oh, i messed up monty's order. guess i'm just a rebel like that.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:25,
Reply)
and me please?My trainers are falling apart
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:31,
Reply)
It doesn't have to be Christmasfor you to get a black eye. Shoes?
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Haha!Go on Himjim, give her a smack!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:41,
Reply)
There are lots of stairs in mybuilding for you to tell your friends you fell down.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:43, Reply)
now be faircancer joy gave us all a thrilling lecture on how to stop your drains stinking by pouring vinegar down them.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
Vinegar plus bicarb, amirite?QOTW is reaching its nadir. The other week in the racist grandparents one, I managed to get on the Best Of page with a recycled decrepit joke.
My first Best Of entry as well.
Dang.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)
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