b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 1513545 | Search
This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

I'm going
To a cider festival this weekend. What are you doing?

Alt; Is your boss a cunt?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 7:53, 318 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I have no overlord!

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:07, Reply)
That's what your mum tells you.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:50, Reply)
>:o,<

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Does this work on here?
⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠╭∩╮
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
yES
Unlike my Caps Lock
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Starting to decorate our sitting room.

As I am currently retired I am master of my own destiny. When I had my own business I had the best boss ever. Charming, witty, massively talented, generous and devastatingly handsome.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:10, Reply)
Really?
I heard from someone else who worked there that he was a right cunt.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:29, Reply)
I want to go to a cider festival.
Yes, my boss is a cunt. My immediate boss, not so much.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:15, Reply)
My immediate boss is rather sound, if I'm honest.
He (like me) is a rather large fan of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Cider is a summer drink, no? Unless it is mulled
No, he's not, but he speaks so quietly I can't hear what he's saying
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:18, Reply)
Cloudy
Is an all year round drink.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:29, Reply)
I'm going to see King Creosote and Jon Hopkins
If my baby will settle down to sleep ok.

Alt: No, he's actually really decent to me and really flexible about me coming and going as I please. I repay him by wasting half my day on here. I am ashamed.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:19, Reply)
In other news, it's the last friday of the month
so i have a 2pm finish, WHOOP
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:25, Reply)
I finish at 3pm every Friday
to pick my kid up from school.
As yours is not at school yet, I recommend you go to the pub.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:28, Reply)
I have to go home and do maths : (

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:31, Reply)
Still struggling to get that GCSE above grade C?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Yeah, but i still got my Cs in Media, Home Ec, PE, Trout tickling and X-Box
so I'm set
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:35, Reply)
I shall be setting up a JUICE CREW COUNTDOWN CLOCK in my flat.
I'll be writing a letter to the better, droppin' science, visiting a slaughtahouse, shout-ing, or maybe I'll be just rhymin' with Biz. There'll be no half steppin' that's for sure.

Alt: Good God yes: an epic, kippery, stinking hairy minge. One of the worst people I've ever met.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:36, Reply)
You drop science, well I'm droppin English
/NWA ironylols
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:38, Reply)
Biggest NWA lol is to be found in Express Yourself
where Dr 'The Chronic' Dre informs us that he 'don't smoke weed or cess, 'cos it's known to give a brother brain damage'. Cue hip-hop's biggest U-turn of all time, dwarfing even MC Hammer's failed attempt to come back as a 'gangsta'.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:41, Reply)
That's always makesd me laugh, also the line: Some musicians curse at home, but scared to use profanity on the ,microphone
What like you Dre in this purposfully clean 'single' on the album? However I do love Straight Outta Compton
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:48, Reply)
It's almost as if he's an intelligent person who made a deliberate decision to get radio play.
Except he's black.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Have you ever seen photos of his first act The World Class Wreckin' Crew?
Nice makeup, Dre. Very, err, 'gangsta'.

NWA's best record was '100 Miles & Runnin' - that is a superb tune.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Dude. Nothing says street tuff more than rhinestones and eye shadow.
Just ask Tammy Wynette.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Hahahah you are SO RIGHT

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Monty, Monty, Monty, Monty!!
*nudges arm*

My mate is off to London at the weekend. Good pubs in Shoreditch please?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Where were you in the Good Pubs thread yesterday?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I had no idea if they were in Shoreditch
*will check back*
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I shall be going down south to visit Aber. babby and husband.
I win the internet.

And I finish work at lunchtime.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:41, Reply)
I hope that is a typo
It drives me mad when people pronounce baby as babby.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:46, Reply)
It sounds fucking Irish.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:46, Reply)
It's a common Brummie affectation
And they're all 2nd generation Micks
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Or darkies

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Good Lord how frightful.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Prepare to be mad then.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:46, Reply)
Morning.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Morning hon!
Stopped aching yet?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
No, just having a shit.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
*shakes fist*
I 'ate you Butler!
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
I am really, really jealous.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:48, Reply)

jealous gay
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Well, at least you're admitting it now.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Ever since I first admitted that you were well bent I feel like a great weight has been lifted from me.
When I say weight, I mean 'shirt'.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Gathering at mine tonight, it might even become a shindig.
Tomorrow, do a meat shop, watch the match, head to Ormskirk, meet some friends, then head to my brothers.

Sunday, Christening, party, head home, catch a bit of sleep, welcome guests, watch the Royal Rumble.

Monday, Sleep.

Tuesday, back to work.

Alt: He used to be, and he now (very rarely) has times where he can be, but he's mostly alright these days.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:46, Reply)
it's sad you can't find a boyfriend to pack you full of meat for free

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Less sad when you realise that I don't want one, either.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
I've never worked for a cunt.
I once worked for a "bit of a dick" but he was quite good at what he did so his dickliness could be forgiven. The dick.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
Sounds like a right dick.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
He had some awareness of his dick side.
In my book, a full on "right dick" is somebody who doesn't even realise what a dick he is. This chap actually said on one occassion "I'm being a bit of a dick, aren't I?"

Which he was. The dick.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I think it was Socrates who said
'only when you realise you are a dick, are you starting out on the long path to not being quite such a dick'
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)
"better to keep quiet and be thought a dick than to speak out and confirm it"

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)
"the dicks shan't inheret the earth"

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)
nope, the cunts have got that one nailed down


inverse sexism lollers
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:11, Reply)
'Speak now, or forever hold my dick'

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)
"I have a dick ... "

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)
"To dick or not to dick"

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)
whether tis nobler in the mind to hold the dicks and bollocks of outrageous fortune?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:17, Reply)
Dude, where's my dick?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:17, Reply)
"A little dick is a dangerous thing"

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:20, Reply)
But, soft! what dick through yonder window breaks?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:23, Reply)
"A dick is worth a thousand words"

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Is this a dick I see before me?
Seemingly any obvious Shakespeare quote is improved by the insertion of a dick.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)
"The best way to appreciate your dick is to imagine yourself without one"

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)
"One small dick for man...one giant dick for mankind"

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)
"houston we have a dick"

"yeah Tom Hanks, LOL"

"Fuck off Harris you bald cunt"
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Ask not what your cunt can do for your dick - ask what your dick can do for your cunt

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Never before in the field of human conflict
Has so much been owed by so many to such dicks.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)
A dinner party tonight...
... at which I'll be host so my G/F will panic but it'll all be groovy. Saturday I'll be fillingf & levelling a floor (rock&roll!). Sunday is twang club with me, Pooflake and various other serial guitar abusers murdering songs at a pub. Then a mahoosive roast lamb dinner in the evening.

New boss - very accommodating and keeps sending more money into my account for 'unforseen expenses, new equipment' etc.
Old boss - mindfucking control-freak bellend of the highest order.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)
Pfft, this is the internet, you can't have a girlfriend!

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)
as long as she's either inflatable or imaginary
he can.

Basically it needs to start with "i"
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Also, insane, incontinent, etc

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Insolvent?
Incapacitated.
Intergalactic planetary planetary intergalactic another dimension another dimension another dimension another dimension?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Your girlfriend is Mike D?
Wowzers.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)
There's nothing hotter than a middle-aged jewish adolescent. Hummina hummina.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)
That's in my head now.
You fucker.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Good song though

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:21, Reply)
When Mixmaster Mike joined them they became better than they had ever been before.
He is fucking brilliant, that man.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Their recent "Hot Sauce Commitie: Part 2" is excellent

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
I've not heard it.
They're the only act I can think of offhand whose debut was really shit but who have actually got better over a twenty+ year career.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Up as far as The Soft Bulletin
I think The Flaming Lips got progressively better with each album.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)
I have given them a try couple of times, but they do nothing for me.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Unbelievable though it may seem- my girlfriend is real!
Although what she's doing with a fat, sweaty internet shut-in like me god only knows!
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Biding her time.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:22, Reply)

d t

time ear
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)

bidingchasing
timetail

I'm saying she's a dog.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Indian?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
In so far as anyone is my boss
nope. My head of school tends to piss people off, but I reckon that's just because they're mostly whining shits who are terrified of change.

This weekend I shall be going to Yorkshire for a "family event". This means a large quantity of people with limited control over their toilet functions and some booze. Happy days.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:08, Reply)
heading home tomorrow, long weekend away with Quinterella
and back on Tuesday.

i don't have a boss, but everyone i work with is a cunt
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)
I am working for a change
I will also be out running as I am officially in the 10K race in April.

Alt:
No, he is fucking sound and gets the beers/bacon sandwiches in
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:17, Reply)
You've got ages to get ready for that, have a beer

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Oh, don't worry
I'll manage some beer too

This morning feels like I had plenty last night, which is quite unfortunate as I didn't drink any
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:34, Reply)
I hate it when that happens

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:38, Reply)
I got reet pissed up.
After my morning coffee I had the shakes quite badly. Walking a mile in Michael J Fox's shoes is something I don't recommend.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:43, Reply)
well he has tiny feet so...

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Arse

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:47, Reply)
biscuit

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)
*trumpets*

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)
'whizz pop, whizz bang, feel the bubbles go down!'

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Especially with feet your size

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
i like cider
I've got a load of Old Rosie in the fridge for whenever I fall off the wagon.

The bloke I work with is an old mate, so yes he's a terrible cunt.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)
I can't have alcohol in the house and not drink it
alcoholiclols
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
To be fair, there's not much point buying it if you're not going to drink it

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
I find this kind of attitude really strange.
Last night I had a beer while making dinner, it was the first alcoholic drink i've had in about 2 weeks.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Good for you, no really, well done, I'm proud of you.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I'm imagining you swaying slighly while saying this
with little lines emmenating from your head and hands like Captain Haddock.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
Are you an alcoholic or just a povvo?
I've got enough alcohol in the house to kill half a dozen people and get an elephant pissed enough to trunk me off.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
I'm going for drinks tonight, then planning/shopping for Malaysia all weekend whoop

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
tell them to do their own shopping, lazy slope eyed fucks

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
They'll only buy mud for their huts and live animals
the savages.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Yeah.
And they eat really weird smelly food.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I can't wait for the street food and shit.
I'm going to eat the fuck out of it.
Probably in the second week though, don't want the shits the whole way through.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
I'll be you can't.
They know how to eat, those yellow bastards.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
You're probably okay wiht most street food, just use common sense.
Eat stuff where you see locals eating.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
That's what I've heard, if it's deep fried = good
boiled=ok
Anything cooked in front of you and served immediatly is much better than most hotel food.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I think I would die of a satay OD within hours of arriving.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Ha, I get in about 9 am and can't check in to my hotel until 2,
I'm going to walk up and down a street eating the whole time.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
One thing to avoid would be the stalls selling scorpions and bugs
That's just for stupid westerners, you'll notice none of the locals eat them, because they aren't idiots.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
They eat loads of insects in south east asia, you dick.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Yes dear.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Condescension doesn't really work when you're wrong.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Yes dear.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Meh, I'll try pretty much anything if it's deep fried.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)
I had some eggy bread in malaysia that was the hottest curry I've ever eaten.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)
That's weird
because I had a curry in the greasy spoon down the road from me and it was the best french toast I've ever had.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
It's political correctness gone MAD.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)
I'm hiding from the world.
There's no chance I'm going in today, I was texting the hot bird off my course all night. Her first reply? "Who's this". I also think I liked about a hundred of her photos on Facebook. Don't even like her for christ sake.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
I though you were all loved up?
Or did I miss an episode?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
I am.
It would also appear I'm a cunt. She invited herself round to give me 'pointers' on my essay, being this handsome has its setbacks it would appear (I said no by the way).
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Ah, well self-knowledge is a wonderful thing.
Also a right bugger some times. Good on ya for saying no.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
I'm picking my son up tonight
tomorrow we shall play with Lego, then he'll; go to his drama class while I wander around Streatham for 3 hours, then off to see my folks for a post-Christmas meal.

On Sunday we shall likely either swim or go to the park, all good dad stuff, before I drop him back to his mum's and go for a well-earned drink.

My boss is OK, because most of the time she forgets she is a boss and leaves us to get on with it while she gets on with writing code. On the rare occasions that she remember's she's the head of a department and married to the MD, it can get fucking annoying.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Half-man sperm donor marriage fail lulz.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Irresistibly-drawn-to-nutters-man Marriage-to-uber-nutter fails fror fucking obvious reasons that only an idiot would not have seen coming a mile off.
Would be more accurate.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Mine is snappier.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Oh, true.
But there's so much potential for mockery regarding my hideously failed marriage that I'd not want you to miss out.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)
Fuck all probably. I might have a wank.
My boss is quite nice.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)
OH god, I don't get paid 'till monay, 38 days between paydays this month.
My over-draft is now almost as high was my wages I'll be getting. Right, this weekend, I'm gonna ebay up this mother fucker like a bitch. I was planning on doing a big foody-shop tomorow but I think I might leave that now, maybe.

All my DDs come out on the 1st too =S There best be no problem with them or I'll be like "Oh DAYUM MAN, THATS MY WAGES DAWG, GET OFF MY WAGES DAWG. I'LL SEE _YOU_ AT THE RAP OLYMPICS".
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
i like DDs coming out on the 1st

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)
Or indeed any time.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Well, give Blousie a neck rub, and they might even come out today

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
No-one is getting a go on my boobs.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Not even Al at Download?
You are terribly cruel today.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
I'm feeling cruel.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)
You're rubbish at being a Jew.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)
He's toning it down so as not to attract attention.
He actually says things like "Om Vay! That's my vages Dawg! Get off my vages Dawg!"
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)

ראַסיסט
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)
I have one and a half hours of bugger all to do and a sore neck.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Spend the time rubbing your neck then

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:32, Reply)
Meh!

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Spend your time rubbing your crotch in anticipation of Donnington.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Not really in a sexeh mood today petal.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Oh god, this is serious
SOMEBODY GET THIS WOMAN 500CCS OF GIN! STAT!
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
I don't think that even a promise of a bounce on your love truncheon would get me going today.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Good lord have some decorum woman.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Hahahaha!
I can't even spell decorum.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)
god you lot are quiet today. are you all actually working?
weekend? tonight i have a birthday party, tomorrow i have a date whom i had to move to lunchtime - meh, i'm not drinking anyway - and then a different birthday party down in streatham. that will be dire as they have just had a baby so most of their mates are from NCT and the whole pub will be full of screaming kids. and sun i am going to the gym and then the cinema.

AND as of today i have not touched a drop of diet coke for 21 days. i think the last time it was that long, i was in the womb.

boss? 90% of the time he is awesome. 10% of the time i could staple his organs to his head.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:37, Reply)
Most of their mates are from a chain of car parks?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
don't!
i have had them on the other side on 3 different car parks claims over the years.

N-I-G-H-T-M-A-R-E.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Why do people rate Lou Reed?
I cannot see any appeal in the fellow at all. His records are rubbish, and he comes across as such a monumentally pompous twat that I am completely baffled as to why the prick has been hero-worshipped for 40 years.

Walk on The Wild Side is especially fucking bent.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)
MONTY IN I HATE MUSICIAN SHOCKER!!!!

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
He doesn't rate you either.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
GOOD.
THAT'S FINE.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)
Still, he can console himself with riches and fame.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)
And by dressing up like a woman and being a cunt.
And by getting calls from Susan Boyle about what kind of day she's having.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I think you're just a little bit jelly of him.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:45, Reply)
i don't think you're ready for this jelly

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)
I don't think anyone could be ready for your jelly.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)
Is it mostly Vodka?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)
well no
i mean, it's not a patch on your wife's wibbly wobbly arms.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)
I'm going to Needoo with my in laws in a couple of weeks
I'm already salivating at the thought. I was rehearsing what we should order in the van on the way to work this morning.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I regularly daydream about Needoo's.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)
sounds a bit like nando's to me

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)
I always think of it as a place for needy people

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)
Nando's is where pretentious commoners go
instead of Pizza Hut.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:51, Reply)
Don't let Gonz hear you say that.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:53, Reply)
I meant Needos
But you are correct, Nando's is just a rebranded KFC.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)
Sounds more like 'paedos' to me

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I'm sure none of the waiters are nonces.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:55, Reply)
You never know.
It's always the quiet ones.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)
That is what the headteacher at Hillside First School thought about the teachers there.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)
He's alright
But he's no David Bowie.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Even his stuff with The Velvet Underground?
Also, I'm sure there is a track on one of the Nuggets volumes from his days as a jobbing songwriter.
You're right about his solo stuff though.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:53, Reply)
See also:
Bob Dylan
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)
Oh don't be silly

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)
I can't stand him or Lou Reed
Whiny little shites, both of them

A Perfect Day would be them both being eaten by lions in or Around A Watchtower
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
I see what you've done there...
Fair enough you don't like Dylan, but it would be inaccurate to describe his records as rubbish.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)
Well it would be accurate
just not preferable in your eyes
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:00, Reply)
I'm not rising to it
You're surely intelligent enough to see what is brilliant about the man's work, whether you like it or not.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Thanks for asking, Jeff.
I am going for a curry tonight in the 'Sham.

Tomorrow I am doing nothing during the day. Might cook tomorrow night.

All of this will be interspersed with pounding your Mum and soaking her in my magnificent seed.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Did you get a taxi?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)
To Jeff's mum?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)
She's so fat you have to take a cab to get on her good side.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Got the Overground in the end.
No cabs.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)
Dear lord I'd stab a neighbour for a curry.
I'm on my fitness regime though, mans has got to get to ten stone init.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Mmmm. A hot chilli chicken masalla.
With pumpkin and Dall.

Oh and a nice Venison Chapli to start.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)
I'm hoping to get a deer when my sisters mate gets round to shooting them.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)
I heard your sister wasn't very dear.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:55, Reply)
I heard she charged more than Swipe.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)
oh is that why she's called swipe?
she should change to rachip & PIN
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)
I think this is possibly your best ever post!

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)
I agree.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:04, Reply)
AND YOU

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)
AND ME
I clicked it.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
FUCK YOU ALL

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
Fuck you Quentin, that's the last time I ever click on your posts.


Unless they're funny.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:08, Reply)
oh you cunt, this is war man, war i'm tellin ya

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)
FUCK YOU

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)
Harsh, man
It was really good! I clicked it and everything
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)
thanks, means a lot to me
reckon we can be budz now
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)
We shouldn't fight Quinten
We should team up against racist Noel. Once he's killed himself in shame we can all take turns on his daughter.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)
thats a plan
i'm not disputing it
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Venison is the king of meats.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:56, Reply)
I'm hoping to be able to make Venison Chilli, Venison bolognase, Venison Casserole, Roast Venison joints etc.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)
*drowns in own saliva*

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:04, Reply)
My advice to you regarding the first three dishes listed
is to 'cut' your venison with beef, as much as 50/50.

You may wish to disregard this, of course, but I reckon the different texture and higher fat content of the beef makes such recipes tastier.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Can I not just fry it off in lard?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Sure you can,
but adding beef was suggested to me by my mother and it's excellent.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)
I will bear this in mind.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
I read this as if you've just called your mum an 'it'.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Can I make a recommendation?
Don't waste your Venison with Chilli, it really doesn't lend itself well to chillies at all. Mustard/horseradish other spices yes, just not capsicums.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)
But what else should I do with the venison mince I will en up with?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)
PASTIES OR PIES

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:44, Reply)
I wasn't aware of this - and am rather surprised by it

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)
If you're a bit bent like me and on the diet train
you can make very low fat curries. I hate eating poorly so I try my hardest to make interesting bulk food that's tasty.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)
so
spunk then?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:58, Reply)
I didn't know spunk was good
for you? You must have tested this very thoroughly.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:00, Reply)
She gargles every morning.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)
Chickpea curries can be very nice.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:00, Reply)
Chana masala served with bhaturas
Mmmm...
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)
You can still have meat in them
especially if you're on high protein. Just lots of spices, dry fried, onions, tomatoes, chilies, spinach. Bit of a mongrel. Good non-stick pan essential.

You are right though, chickpeas are lush.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)
My boss is wonderful.
Like a spastic, I put petrol in the van this morning instead of diesel. She's sorting it out for me as we speak. She's one of the few efficient Pakistanis I've ever met, and also one of the few Pakistani women I've ever met. Coincidence?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)
haha
racist
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)
Yes lol I'm a massive racist.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
what you basically said here is
'pakistani men are inefficient, but the women are ok'

thats racist and sxist, yo
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)
What I said there was "of the Pakistanis I've met"
and I stand by that as an observation of the Pakistani men I know.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:29, Reply)
nice edit man, i saw taht
good on you covering up your racism, well done
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)
Sounds more like subtle racism to me.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)
not so subtle really

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)
Not that subtle.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)
quite obvious
...oh you can't see me

FUCK YOU
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:04, Reply)
HAHA!

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
So, Stunned can't see this sub thread?
Cool, call him a shandy drinker who's wife gives him pocket-money.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)
stunned, you're a shandy drinker and your wife supports you because you failed at life

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)
'She's alright - for 'one of them'. I was really surprised'

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
How much did you put in?
You can get away with a little bit of petrol if it's dissolved with enough diesel.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:02, Reply)
I didn't think you could put petrol pumps into disel vehicles?
Or is it the other way round? No, I'm sure my car has a thing on the cap that won't let you put the wrong pump in.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)
You can't put diesel into petrol... but you can the other way round.
Or something, I dunno, I haven't got a car.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)
I usually select the black pump that says diesel having opened the cover that says diesel only and taken off the cap that says diesel before pumping diesel into my vehicle with a diesel engine, which I am reminded of constantly by the sound of it's diese

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:06, Reply)
It's these what?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)
lengine

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Surely you turn it off before putting fuel in.
So it would be silent.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)
yeah but the drive up to the forecourt would be a giveaway

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Yes and that.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)
Yeah, I tend to use this approach too.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Bollocks can't you.
I managed it just fine.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)
Fuckloads.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)
Silly Noel.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)
fuckwit morelike
fucken racist fuckwit at that
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
Shut up Quinten.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
so your condoning racism and the wilful destruction of private motor vehicles?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
She's also an awful human being.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)
Yes!
I think he should fuck that shit right up!
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)
you make me sick

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Well that's a first.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:14, Reply)
He's an awful human being.
He should go to KFC AND Burger King for that kind of behaviour.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
i hope some pakistani women efficiently tear his racist bollocks off

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Best Christmas eva!

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)
I had no idea what I was doing this weekend
but now I shall be making a curry tonight. Saturday will be football and getting quite drunk. Sunday is still a mystery, but if a World Leader is assassinated I was here all day, right?
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:10, Reply)
What kind of curry?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I want curry now : (

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)

+ edwina
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Bow Wow Wow's disappointing followupzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)
FFS.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:21, Reply)
I've let everyone down.
esp the rugby club.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:23, Reply)
probably keema mattar
As I've done it before and it was lush.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)
I'm listening to Kisstory.
I love Kisstory, I need a digital radio so I can get involved more often.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:25, Reply)
I have been waging an hour-long campaign for tea and breakfast.
But on a lighter note, I'm off work, so I don't have to deal with my mostly well-meaning but prematurely senile boss and all her chaos.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:27, Reply)
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)

ooooooooooo
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooom

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:31, Reply)
bip

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:35, Reply)
1000000010110101000000011000001010001000001010100000010100

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Yeah? Well so is your mother.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)
oh ok thats how it is, you were exempt earlier but now
FUCK YOU
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)
YOUR MOTHER DID

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:40, Reply)
oh please don't say that, its really out of order my mama is lovely

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
So's mine. She's a little penguin.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)
yeah well i still fucked her

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Oh you have upset me online

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:14, Reply)
binary to 'house of love' that
i was pressing 1 every time they said love
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:38, Reply)
Everybody in the house of love?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:41, Reply)
one love, everybody in the house of love

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:44, Reply)
*brings Levi the Staffordhire Bull Terrier into shot*

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I'm not threatening you, that was a bit in the video

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
thanks i got worried about my earlobes for a mo

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:48, Reply)
Innit.
My biggest fear that
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)
Why would a dog eat your earlobes?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)
it was on the news, some kid got her lobe bit off by a staffy

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I got it

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:15, Reply)
superfly didn't, he probably doesn't watch the news
psychochomnp should post loads of links to keep him up to date with curernt affairs
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:17, Reply)
You must love Darth's flesh tunnels then?

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)
I shall be going to see my mum.
And trying to explain to her that the HS2 line is not going to be built for a couple of years, so she doesn't have to move out now. Her house is going to be bulldozed but not yet, and she will be getting market rate for it, about £300k. Its an opportunity to move to a bungalow (she can hardly climb the stairs)to an area where she would like to be, but no she wants to stay there.

Alt: My boss is a right cunt.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:39, Reply)
You should look into the buy and rent back thingy they're planning.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:41, Reply)
Possibly, but she's 87 and so she won't get a good rate.
She would hate that anyway. We are thinking of a warden assisted building, possibly gated to keep her from spreading fascism to the masses.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Once she has a nice heavy fall she'll never be the same, hopefully a hip fracture and all
it'll be icy this week
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
She's had a few falls, but always manages to survive.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:54, Reply)
I shall be going to see your mum
And trying to explain to her that by selling now and letting me manage the sale for a reasonable 20% fee will mean secruity and saftey for her in the future. I can get her a flat on teh top floor of a block in Hounslow with lovely views where we can crack on with our sordid sex affair unhindered.

Alt: Your boss thinks you are a right cunt
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:42, Reply)
Fuck off, I'm not travelling all the way to Hounslow to have another go on his mum.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
It'll all be streamed
GET IN!!
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:45, Reply)
Northolt. gaz me if you want the full address.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:46, Reply)
S'ok, I've got it

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I am a right cunt to my boss, except for delivering all the work he wants.
But its still not fair.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:47, Reply)
I never understand these people that get so upset about having their houses knocked down
when they will be paid a fair price for them.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:49, Reply)
This is the stupidest thing you've ever written

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:50, Reply)
Irritating hold outs, if it was worth saving it'd be listed, instead they whine about some shitty two up two down being where they were born and it's where they're going to die
just fuck off
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Quite.
Especially at the moment when you'd never sell your house.
(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:01, Reply)
and it's up against some serious competition

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 12:00, Reply)
When I kicked your mum's back doors in she seemed positively pleased about it.

(, Fri 27 Jan 2012, 11:58, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1