Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
FIRST! LOLBOAT! LOL
What's making you lol this morning?
Alt: Adult evening classes. What would you take?
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girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:00,
233 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I am "slightly" hungover this morning(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:04,
Reply)
I find the Jimmy Carr tax thing a bit interesting, Not LOL though.Alt: I took German language course a while ago. It was a bit rubbish, but at least I got the basics.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:15,
Reply)
It's all above boardjust leave it
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:18,
Reply)
Is it, the guy gets paid as a loan from his company.At what point does that feel like paying income tax?
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:21,
Reply)
That's what I don't understand.The company claim it is all legal and that HMRC are aware of it, but surely it must require investigating. How can a loan that you are never required to pay back be legally considered a loan?
If it is legal, then frankly the villain here is the government not shutting it down, rather than Jimmy Carr for taking advantage. That said, it's still morally repugnant, just legally morally repugnant.
(Yes, my view have moved on since this was discussed on Tuesday, when I read some more and realised both the extent and workings of it).
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:27,
Reply)
Have you any idea of the complexity of the UK tax rules? Which have doubled since Brown was at the Treasury.The 'loan' can be recalled at any point, and is therefore a 'loan' as far as the current tax rules are concerned.
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:32,
Reply)
No, I don't.I'm going on what the company itself said in it's defence. And if that's the best they can come up with, it's pretty shoddy.
That said,I did say it needs investigating, I didn't say it was true. And I did say it's the goverment's fault for allowing it. If it was caused by Brown's changing of the tax rules in the first place then it's just another thing that is his fault too. But he can't change it now, the current treasury can.
And regardless of complexity, it's morally disgusting to earn £3 million in a year and pay 1% tax. No matter who is at fault.
Still wuvs ya, Roarster.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
I'm going to pretend to be disgusted tooI read the Guardian earlier. I must be coming over all queer
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:47,
Reply)
Ha.I am disgusted. Not pretending. I'm just not disgusted enough to do anything about it other than moan on a retarded internet board.
I'll probably boycott his next DVD and Live Tour. But I've boycotted all his DVDs and Live Tours up to this point anyway on the basis that even when some of his jokes are funny when you see them written down, when I see them coming out of that smarmy, smug, self satisfied piggy eyed serial killer looking face, I want to put hard objects through my TV screen.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:50,
Reply)
And now, thanks to starting my day thinking about Jimmy CarrI appear to have the tune to 'Pretty Little Angel Eyes' stuck in my head, but with the words 'Piggy Little Rapist' instead.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:53,
Reply)
I can't wait till all Cameron's cronies are outed at tax dodging cunts.(
girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:28,
Reply)
At the point he uses up his income tax allowances and banding having been notionally 'paid' the nmwchillax, he paid vat on that 150k bentley of his AND provided employment to hard working brits at the assembly plant
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:29,
Reply)
tax dodges are the fault of lawmakers.Nobody volunteers to pay tax, we are legally obliged to do so. It wouldn't actually cost that much for HMRC to find all the loopholes, report to the Government and have them legislate to close them.
It's like putting in place a sensible drugs policy though- politically unpalatable and won't happen.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:34, Reply)
Where there are rules, there are always loopholes to exploitthe UK has one of the most sophisticated taxation systems in the world, the code book alone runs to eleven and a half thousand pages
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
I know this. But Srsly, the Gov could do more about these legal scams.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:39, Reply)
I'm not that bothered IIHBut, I doubt if Jimmy Carr as a private individual paid for the car, Jimmy Carr Ltd, probably did.
This is how I bought a car when I had a company.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
and yet he derives the sole benefit of it, and does really 'own' it by holding 100% of the shareholding in JC Ltdit's a nice Jolly wheeze that he get 100% writedown on it after four years
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:39,
Reply)
Nah. I want to move to France in a few years. That said Madrid really appeals to me too. I do think Spanish would probably be more useful saying that.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:33, Reply)
Plus if you learn Spanish you're more than half way to knowing Italian as well.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
Really? I may have to assess things. Plus my nan and granddad both speak it fluently and I can half pull of basic conversation as it is.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I really should fire up the Spanish Rosetta stone discs B3th sent me and try to get to grips with it.(
girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:43,
Reply)
Mine is tapas(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:58,
Reply)
My mate Chris who is currently clinging onto the world for dear lifeWe had MANY drinks last night
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:22,
Reply)
Fuck this no drinking lark.I might have to imbibe on Saturday night.
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girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:27,
Reply)
Get it done No drinking is shit. Plus if you are meeting DG soon you will need to practice
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:29,
Reply)
I've been practising like a monster for six months.I have a fat belly : (
Edit: fatter!
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girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:29,
Reply)
I am lolling at the fact I convinced the world I don't exist.Alt- GDL but I have no way of funding it.
I have been booked to DJ this summer. Hopefully get a regular slot.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:30, Reply)
*yawn**some tedious shit about classics, being broke, delivered in a pseudo Leslie Phillips posh tone*
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:44, Reply)
It would take a miracle of mighty proportions to get even a tiny lol out of me this morning.Re: Carr, if he's dodged his taxes legitimately then he has a good accountant and good luck to him. If our legal system is so shit that what he's been doing is legit then more fool them and good work Jimmy Carr's accountant, I say.
Alt: given the chance there are fucking millions of courses I'd like to take. I'd like nothing more than to spend my entire life learning stuff of no practical use.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:33,
Reply)
Word.Life is scheisse for me at the mo. 2/10 for Monty.
It's my daughter's first sports day today. I wish I was going.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:38,
Reply)
More than my tag's worth mate.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:46,
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That's pants bro.Remember that things are progressing slowly so future sports days beckon.
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girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:41,
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If you were thereThey'd end up asking you to leave for constantly shouting, 'sport is for benders'.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
*something about performance enhancing drugs*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:47,
Reply)
No, she went of her own accord.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:51,
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But sport is bent. You've said so.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:49,
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Glad we got that cleared up.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:53,
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I'm bang on Stunned.Not long 'till the weekend.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:48,
Reply)
Which he clearly is, as only pussies and teenage girls refer to nights as 'sleeps'.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
Thanks to England winning their groupThey don't play again until Sunday, so we can go to your favourite gaybar.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:57,
Reply)
Good. Then we should.Is Kroney coming out to support the French?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
God, imagine the stench of BO in that stadium(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:07,
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I got woken up by the fucking dogs. I hate my aunts's dog, it never stops barking. We're looking after it for a week whilst they're in Monaco. Who the fuck goes to Monaco? Them apparently. I'm so tired. It's been barking non stop since about 3am.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)
I've been to Monacco.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
I've never been to me, though.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:05,
Reply)
Well you've been hanging out the back of Barry's King Charles Spaniel since 3amIf you don't give up now it'll end up even more boss eyed than before
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:05,
Reply)
Knowing just how fucked up Sporto and his friend will be this morning, hahaAlt: ECDL to start with, then I'd work my way up. Genuinely considering doing this.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:45,
Reply)
I have coffee nowNormal sportscow service has been resumed
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
Pandas, Lib Dems, Electronic Music.Things that shouldn't be saved.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
Record companies are shit parasites who bribe politicians to pass insane copyright lawsthey can fuck off.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:27,
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I find myself enjoying a mainstream artist. Is this allowed? (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:06,
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Emili sande. Kanye West is shit and should have died in that car crash he hates rapping about. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
I'm not, he is wank. Jay z should have stayed well clear. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
I don't understand why Jay Z hasn't buried Chris Brown, made it so that no-one would touch him with a bargepole(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:21,
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Jay z could take over the world and I'd be ok with it. Chris Brown is r n b So I don't know much of his stugg(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
His music is shit, you're not missing much.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:28,
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Didn't he punch that filly in the face too?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
Yep, and Jay-Z is meant to be a good mate of Rihanna's(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:46,
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Because Jay Z is a horse-faced prick?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:23,
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He's a terrible MC and an awful cock.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:18,
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his rapping is averagehis production is excellent and innovative
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:19,
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Let me get in my zone, let me get in my zone, now I'm into my zone... FUCK OFF SHIT CUNT(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
Now now Bob, he's innovative.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
When I heard that lyric a bit of me died. Then I remembered we still have slick rick and mos def so it's ok.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
So you should, man got mad skills.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
I saw him do a show in Wembley about 15 years ago, hilarious, he was.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:31,
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Jealous of that, you've seen mos def too haven't you?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
I've seen most of the all time greats at one time or another.Big L was incredible, RIP niggah
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
That one with the Daft Punk loopis innovative in that no-one prior to him had bothered to make such a shit tune. That Gold Digger one has a tidy enough break on it but he's utterly mediocre compared with someone like Lord Finesse.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
Lord Finesse may be "better" but we are talking mainstream so he doesn't countMy Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is an excellent album
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
It has a gay name.Much like you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:28,
Reply)
it's clearly calling for a strikethrough there Monty, go for itI would but I may not actually be technically awake, despite being at my desk with the world's financial markets just a typo in my code away from Armageddon.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is and then something suitably bent and spasticy.
Not really an epic comedy moment, I admit.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:15,
Reply)
That whole gangsta, bling, nigga, ladies man persona that they all have is ridiculous.Bring back A tribe called quest.
I am partial to Missy Elliot though. What happened to her?
Oh and Dizzy Rascal. He's lovely.
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girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
The future of hip hop is Edan The Humble Magnificent.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
I like a bit of Tribe and Q-Tip on jhis own(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
And bone thugs n harmony.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
Looks like Missy is mostly featuring on other peoples stuff these daysor producing.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:33,
Reply)
Nothing I have a hangover and woke up at 5:45alt: Nuclear engineering or spelling
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
I am not LOLtastic this morning - car hunting is a fucking nightmareAlt: I've been looking for a class where I can use the woodworking workshops so I don't have to equip my own as I've always wanted to make an acoustic guitar or three, buggered if I can find any community colleges which do woodworking night courses. On a brighter note, my G/F and I have signed up for Tai Chi (Chen style) in September - Yay!!
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 8:59, Reply)
You could come to where i am there are fuckintg loads of them, you're bound to hit one(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
Tai chi is the touch rugby of the martial art world. Circle walking and gay hand gestures. May as well have joined up with Darth's lot.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
I would dearly love to go back to full-contact martial artsHowever, there are several orthopaedic surgeons that would take great exception to that, and have promised that if I ever grace their operating theatres again they'll cut my nuts off.
I'd like to think they're joking, however, as orthopeadic surgeons are basically bricklayers with degrees, I somehow doubt it.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)
Carry on,I withdraw my slur on your manliness (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
I see no lols this morningI have to spend yet another day working on stuff with the boss, meaning I'm actually going to have to do some work rather than waste time on the internet.
Alt: There are plenty of things I would like to learn - more instruments, languages - but I don't want to go to adult evening classes to do it. Can I give up work and do it in the daytime instead?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:02,
Reply)
My old man just woke me up ringing for advice on getting rid of sofas. I was having an ace dream too. No lols here. Jimmy Carr didn't cause the problem. Laws get exploited, always have, always will. That's why I'm going to live with the flower people.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:06,
Reply)
Council will usually take them away or the Sally Army if it's in ok nick.(
girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
They're new ish and expensive. I said gum tree and eBay.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:24,
Reply)
Sally army fo sho!You never know when you might need them yourself.
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girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:31,
Reply)
they hate teh gays though(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Hmm I'll suggest it. Thanks B(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Don't give it to them, they spend all the money on God and he doesn't existWhat a fucking waste! They should use it to help the poor or something.
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:36,
Reply)
REALLY! OMG I TOTALLY NEVER KNEW AND WASN'T BEING SARCASTIC AT ALL!I learned so much today!
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:53,
Reply)
Jimmy Carr is a disgusting human being who deserves to be put in the stocks and have small slices cut out of his body over a period of weeks until he dies in exquisite agony. That will teach the unfunny cunt.
Did he dodge some taxes though? I didn't know. Good for him, I wouldn't pay a penny more than I had to. Not whilst billion dollar industries get away with it.
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
I believe there used to be a chinese torturewhereby chicken wire (or the equivilant) was pulled tightly over your body and then a knife was run over it removing many small discs of flesh.
I may have read this is a Flashman novel though, so it may be untrue
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
Agreed on him being unfunny,also good work fella on the tax avoidance. Anyone with half a brain gets a good accountant to do this.
Lols? David Cameron coming out with a phrase 2morally wrong".
And lols for this too.
menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1581649_undercover-fat-police-to-probe-salford-takeways-over-obesity-crisis
The fat police!
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:26, Reply)
That article smells, Like someone scoffing and entire takeaway pizza to themselves doesn't know its bad for themThat's why normal people only have a pig out takeaway every now and then. The other day I had a special meat and chips with everything on top. Probably 1500 calories and a fuck load of fat but fuck it, I cycle a lot and only do it every now and then, I'd be far more concerned about the calories in the 8 pints of ale I quaffed in order to get me in the mood for such vile food.
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
undercover fat police?Big covers then!
Sounds like a good job, being paid to eat takeaways.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:32, Reply)
£60000 spunked on telling us that takeaway food is high in calories and fat.Wow, hold the fucking front page! I want a job like that.
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
"It can be difficult for residents to make informed choices about what food they eat from takeaways."I doubt whether any of those fat knackers has made an informed choice in their lives.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:32, Reply)
No lols for me this morningcouple of bottles of wine and yet another night where I didn't get to bed until after 1 and then have to drag myself into work.
I might have to go and look at some pictures of cats with amusing text on, or tales of crazy customers from the retail sector. Nothing funnier than that, I think we can all agree.
Alt: Interpretive Dance.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
I've started a scheme called the K9 schemeits for people that earn less than 100k.
Basically you send me all your cash and I loan it back to you at 1% interest and you don't pay tax. Interested? I promise I'll loan it back and not just spunk it all over a hot birds tits.
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:26,
Reply)
you sly dogIsn't Carr getting his loan from a company he owns 100% of?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:41,
Reply)
YesI can't work out how that works. I know a guy who runs a ltd company comprising of himself, he earns well over £100k but pays himself less than £20k His fancy car and house etc all seem to come out of the business. He has a lovely home and fancy car and tonnes of disposable cash to spunk up the wall but pays less tax than I do.
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:46,
Reply)
Business men give money to political partiesPolitical parties give tax breaks to businesses.
It's fairly straightforward.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:17,
Reply)
Aids is funnier(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
Thiswww.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/9341966/Internet-activity-could-help-diagnose-depression.html
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:26, Reply)
I think googling, how to commit suicide probably clinches it.(
girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:30,
Reply)
I googled, how to make other people commit suicide, but it didn't work(
Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:34,
Reply)
Girl in the tightest leggings I've ever seen got on the train this morning.Watching every bloke stare at her arse certainly gave me a grin.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Aren't all leggings by definition tight?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
Fair point.Still, the sight of sad, lonely blokes staring at her arse... classic.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:39, Reply)
Better that than staring at a Terry Pratchett 'book'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
You have to be the most hipster-ish person I've encountered on the net.(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:50, Reply)
I couldn't be less hipster-ish if I tried.I only like obscure, early hipsterism.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:51,
Reply)
Ah, so you were a hipster before it became mainstream.I'll bet you wear a pork-pie hat.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:53, Reply)
I am not lonely and I still stare at every arse I canA nice arse is a beautiful sight and I will be enjoying them for many years to come. You must have had a good look yourself to know about it!
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Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:49,
Reply)
I noticed, right enough.It was like two Zeppelins in a dead heat race.
As an aside, the description "Like two boys wrestling under a sheet" has to be the creepiest description for a nice arse I've ever heard.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:51, Reply)
try thechive.comhas a section for hot girls in yoga pants, if that's your thing. Other sections are also available.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Its one of the best funny sites on the net imoit has many sections, wtf signs, fails, demotivational posters, etc etc. And FLBP.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:12, Reply)
The following conversation between my boss and a female underlingUnderling: I'm going to see The Stone Roses soon
Boss: Oh, I remember them, American band yeah?
Underling: Noo, Manchester you dummy!
Boss: Ah, I don't really like American music
Underling: No, there's no good music from America
Boss: I did like Bob Dylan though
Underling: Yeah, he's alright. Where are Pink Floyd from?
Me: fucking hell *puts on headphones*
Alt: I always fancied playing the piano. I got a keyboard for Xmas a couple of years back and it's doing a good job of occupying space under the bed.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:36,
Reply)
When I was in Virginia I went to a pubwhere the fellow sitting next to me at the bar asked me where I was from.
'London? That's awesome!!! I LOVE The Beatles!!!'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:39,
Reply)
All American music is rubbishJimi Hendrix was actually from Ashford, he just lied so he could run for president.
(
Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:40,
Reply)
If you want to learn how to play the piano...All you need is blu-tack.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:44, Reply)
*Waves at BGB*...Ningles kitten!
I have just sent a couple of texts that made me LOL. That's right, I Lolled at myself.
Evening classes - does anybody do evening drumming lessons? Because I happen to be quite properly dogshit banging the old skins
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:43, Reply)
I love it when I make myself laugh.It's like giving yourself a hug.
(
girlinthehole, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
Nope, I've never done that. Mark at school told me if you do that theres a 90% chance you turn gay(
Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
I can quite jonestly sayI have never tugged 'Mr Twisty Cheeky', rigorously or otherwise.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
I guess if I was tugging Mr Twisty Cheeky, Mark at school would have been right.(
Peej, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 9:57,
Reply)
Where do you live?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:02,
Reply)
About the drums you shut in freaks(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
I live in Coventry...For more specifics, drive into the middle of town and head for the sound of shit drumming.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:08, Reply)
You were drunk - so that time doesn't count...Thank you anyway :) To be fair, I was miming whilst Captain Placid did all the shredding.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Shredding?Shirley you have seen the mahoosive saveloys that pass for fingers on my hands
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Ah, but they dance up and down that fretboard like veritable ballerinas...(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:21, Reply)
London, Bristol, Newport, bath I can help. I'll ask my mates if they know anyone and gaz you. What are you struggling with?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
You're very kind...I'm mostly struggling with the fact that I have no co-ordination, or any sense of timing...or rythmn.
Also, I'm shit on the drums.
And as if all that wasn't bad enough - despite being right handed at everything else, I appear to be a left-handed drummer - just to add to the annoyance of any actual drummer friends, as I have to take their kit apart before I can have even have a rubbish attempt.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:15, Reply)
I'm a lefty, limb independence comes, don't force it. Get into the habit of using your off foot (right) toKeep time on the high hats as opposed to your left stick. Once that clicks you're halfway home. Spend at least half an hour practising your chops before playing any sustained beat.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:21,
Reply)
Thank you - that's good advice...I dabble with a few other instruments - I'll press my nose into anything really...It's a tragic irony that my favourite instrument is the one I'm crappest at.
(, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:25, Reply)
I'm learning the bass, my hands are beadle-esque. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jun 2012, 10:27,
Reply)
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