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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so that died on its arsewhat's the biggest Foodwrong you can think of?
alt: i have to go and teach a small child how to read shortly. what inappropriate word can i teach it?
altalt: so many beauty salons now offer a whole menu for male treatments. are you a metro, and would you ever go to a salon for treatments? or do you have toenails curling up to your knees?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:32,
213 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Not had any real foodwrongsbut not keen on water chestnuts or bamboo shoots
Alt:
Gunt
AltAlt:
I have been waxed before - it hurts. Been to chiropodists to sort out foot woes many years ago too.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:34,
Reply)
i was thinking more of manmade foodwrongslike bacon and ketchup sandwiches or something rank
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:36,
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Bacon and ketchup is full of the finest WIN(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:38,
Reply)
Cheapo oven cook stuff I find totally bland(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:40,
Reply)
i quite like oven chipsbut you have to cook them for twice as long as it says and smother them in melted cheese or spices or something
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:42,
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Anything with no meat in it.Alt: Flange
AltAlt: No, no and no. I'm quite capable of looking after myself without having to pay others to do it. Lazy cunts.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
don't say the flange wordas those who are also on fb know, i humiliated myself this morning by inviting my friend to see "flange unchained" at the cinema tomorrow...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:36,
Reply)
That I can think of?A goats cheese, Marmite and grapefruit sandwich on granary bread.
Alt: cunt is always good, gets maximum impact.
altalt: neither, no I am not going to go to a salon, I am not a girl, but |I am quite capable of cutting my own toenails and such, I have even been known to moisturise, but only when my skin gets dry, not in some daily ritual.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:37,
Reply)
hoorahsomeone who got the foodwrong bit right
in terms of the salon, they do a lot of massages and facials for men, not just eyebrows and nails.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:38,
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I have a girlfriend for massages, I'm not fond of the idea of being touched by a strangermuch less paying for it. As for facials, see my earlier comment about moisturiser.
Then again I don't even go to the hairdresser/barbers, I either cut my own hair of get a friend/girlfriend to do it. when I did though I definitely preferred a gents barbers (£10 got the cut I asked for) to a hairdressers (£30, the cup of tea and the tits did not make up for the shitty hair cut I got).
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:42,
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I have only ever had my hair cut by a man once in my life.It didn't seem right.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:46,
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that's because you're a girl.the reverse is true for me.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:48,
Reply)
You also have an incredibly gay profile pic on facebook right now.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:39,
Reply)
It's a character from a really good film I recently picked up on DVDI notices he has about the same hair and beard as me so I thought I'd use it for my profile.
this is the film:
www.imdb.com/title/tt1308165/
and this is the character:
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3u1hqG0Hi1qe8q6bo1_1280.jpg
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:46,
Reply)
Andouille.
Alt: herpes.
AltAlt: Occasional manicure.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:37,
Reply)
this is you this is:images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/aug2011/6/5/dwarf-image-1-148847711.jpg
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:38,
Reply)
You mean andouilette here I think.Andouille is a New Orleans smoked sausage and it's pretty fucking n0mz0rz
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:18,
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Salmon quiche with loads of tarragon on itAlt: Sidearse
Altalt: I can maintain myself OK without suffering the indignity of chutneying it up in some fucking salon. cf exercise: I can run along the canal fine thanks, no need for treadmills and sweaty gaylords.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:39,
Reply)
hahaha i forgot about your quiche loathingit was not the response i was expecting when i asked if there was anything you don't eat.
and why not?
"because it's fucking bent".
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:40,
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i fucking love a bit of quichewe had hot tiny mini quiches last night with stilton and red chilli, or wild mushroom and truffle oil. nom.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:43,
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I bet nobody else got anywhere near them.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:44,
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well you wouldn't have donewhat with the trays being passed around so far above knee height
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:46,
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Hey, that reminds me of a good jokeQ. What happened when the man fainted in the french restaurant?
A. One of the members of staff was fully trained in up to date first aid techniques, so he ensured the man was comfortable and placed him in the recovery position. Another of his colleagues phoned for an ambulance, and although the man had regained consciousness by the time it arrived, he was taken to the local hospital for a check up. He returned to the restaurant 3 days later, and gave the staff a box of chocolates to say thanks.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:45,
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I just hope he was put in the recovery position.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:48,
Reply)
I wouldn't like any of that business eitherApart from anything else, I have scorching personal space issues.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:41,
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I know a lady who won't eat cheese of any sortIt 'grosses her out' apparently.
alt: sputum
altalt: Hey I groom, I have a shave every few months, I'm no animal. That's pretty metrosexual.
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:41,
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Hey TheoI shaved my head today Theo! It's a weekly thing, but I still try to make an occasion out of it.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:42,
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I'm letting my hair grow out againBut this time I'm combing it and conditioning it so I don't get shit white man dreds again
I'm sure your bonce looks beautiful
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:48,
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You look lovely with hairI really want to wet shave it and then crome it up nice and shiny. Thing is, I'd have to do it every day, and if I can't be arsed to shave my face, I'm buggered if I'm doing my bonce.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:52,
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WAIT make sure it's a professional turkNot just some turk off the street
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:02,
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Do you get a lot of amateur Turks round your way then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:24,
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No end of themYou'll be crossing a bridge and you'll hear their jaunty tunes echoing from below.
If you dare to go below you may be offered a shave with a sharp rock, a warm towel heated between their thighs or a kebab made of rat
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
Foodwrongs include but are not limited to:-Tomato sauce
Brown sauce
Mayonnaise - in all its variously flavoured guises
Salad cream
Aioli
'Relishes' slathered on burgers etc
American and French mustards
*Edit*
Anything from a tin in tomato sauce
Quiche
Alt: Sluthole
Altalt: Never have but I might just try it.
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
Burgers with mayo/salad cream type stuff onWRONG
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:43,
Reply)
hMM..Having lived the student life to the Nth degree a lot of foodwrongs have been consumed. Nowadays though I hate orange/mint chocolate and think Pickled Eggs are just plain wrong.
Alt. teach it a dirty limerick.
AltAlt. I never go for treatments but I do a bit of manscaping. Nothing to extreme. Just make sure everything is trimmed and neat.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:42,
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Terry can fuckin keep it.Awful stuff.
Im not huge on chocolate as is.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:46,
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Alt: Are you qualified to teach a child how to read?Altalt: I don't ever brush my hair and it only gets cut once or twice a year. I can trim my own beard. I can't think of any other grooming I might need.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:44,
Reply)
it's not really like thatthe teacher is supposed to teach them (only this year's is CRAP, none of them can read "the"). we sit with them and listen to them read or we read to them or we just draw pics with them. the idea is that they get some adult interaction. mine fucking loves me, primarily because i bribe her with stickers and sparkly pens from paperchase every week.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:45,
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My daughter would wee herself with happiness were that to happen(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:47,
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+ I am fat enough to be used as a bouncy castle(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:48,
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But you've read up on synthetic phonics, graphemes and split-vowel digraphs, etc?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:48,
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of courseand having seen my ma teach 4-6 year olds to read, plus being excellent at drawing things like princesses in big pink dresses and doe-eyed puppies, i can safely ignore that kind of shit.
it was harder the year they gave me a boy. my drawings of football pitches were not so good.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:51,
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i love that this works so beautifully as an answer to all 3 questions(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:51,
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Check your FB messages.Then look at available albums. Some are public.
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Kroney, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:53,
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Cheese on chips.I mean, what the fuck is that all about? Also, fruit in main course dishes. Wrong.
Alt: they usually start with 'at', because it sounds straightforward and they can add lots of sounds on the front to make more words. That's why The Cat in the Hat is such a good children's book. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to teach them the word 'twat'.
Altalt: I would if I could afford it on a regular basis. Pedicures are all of the amazing.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:51,
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Yeah, imagine combining potato and cheese - madness!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:58,
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tuna straight up, makes me think of catfoodAlt just use words he already knows, butts, buttcheeks, buttcracks, they love that shit
Altalt I quite fancy getting my makeup done for my birthday
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Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:53,
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I don't think my kid knows butt or any variations on that word.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:57,
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I bet they know poo bum willy head smelly faceOn account of that's what their mum calls you.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 12:59,
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peanut butter with jam is vomit inducing. Maybe already mentioned above, I didn't read it all sorry.
Teach it that the proper way to address a member of parliament is "pleasure to meet you, Mr. Pantsonfire"
Altalt. I am capable of cutting my own toenails, washing my own hair, trimming my own pubes and all else involved in looking and smelling this good.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:01,
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quite right!It needs to be jelly or it just doesn't work.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:03,
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jelly? Cold dessert in a sandwich?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:09,
Reply)
y'see this is a common misconceptionJelly is not american for jam, it's a related but different product, main difference being lack of actual chunks of fruit (think of Bramble jelly) we have Jelly and they have jam it's just that they mostly use the former and we the latter.
so now you know.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:18,
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and we call your jelly jello but either way its disgusting(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:27,
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yep and this, in many ways makes more sense the the way we do ithaving 2 different things called the same.
don't get me wrong, I'm still all about the yank-hate, but I like it to be intelligent and for good reason.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:35,
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I can't eat it, The smell of peanut butter is enough to make leave a room, add jam to it and I'm panel 3 of SBP.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:07,
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correct. Alright Theo.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:10,
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alright WPglad there's another human being out there disgusted by this brown sweet shit
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:13,
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I don't like correcting men of your wealth and knowledge so lets agree to disagree(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:16,
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It's ok we don't have to pretendNo-one really likes peanut butter, it's just for show, it's 'cool' to enjoy it
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:18,
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It looks like poo and tastes nothing like peanuts and smells of poo(
Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:20,
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Hang on, are you sure you haven't been eating poo by mistake?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:22,
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I don't know man but I fucking love peanut butter so I'm witcha.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:26,
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Well then I don't think we can be friends any more.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:29,
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FINE.Then you'll miss out on the meaty goodness from my tandoor when I get it.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:31,
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no-one likes peanut butteryou can all stop trying to troll me now
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Theoban What of it, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:28,
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I get through a large jar of it every two weeks man, se'sly.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
I didn't know you had a dog(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:27,
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Why, it's Theosophical Banjax everyone!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:25,
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Well there's no need for that kind of abuse.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
peanut butter sandwiches yeah?Good choice, brah.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:44,
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I have just had a text message which contains the phraseI hope [name of person deleted] falls in to a pit of cunt eating spiders, broken glass and lemon juice.
Awesome.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:02,
Reply)
You know someone at least as angry as you?How short are they?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:03,
Reply)
Nick Hornby'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:14,
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Then why omit the name?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:18,
Reply)
every barbed comment is about his peachy lil' face and habit of online underwear-soiling.(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
that's a bit angry. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:11,
Reply)
Nah, Gandhi actually.The sanctimonious brown shitbag.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
Anything with shellfish in, nastyor those fermented duck fetuses.
alt: ninnyhammer
altalt: I wash everyday, does that count?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:19,
Reply)
Spaghetti Vongole is fucking nom you rectally-challenged knob jockey.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:24,
Reply)
^ this^. also lobster bisque, scallops with chilli or with black pudding and several hundred other dishes.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:25,
Reply)
mussles = rankcockles = rank
razor clams = rank
your mums clam = rank
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
Mussles = nice.
Cockles = acceptable, not my first choice.
Razor clams = very very good. Lovely sweetness to them.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:28,
Reply)
If I want something sweet I'll have a fucking pudding(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:29,
Reply)
Do you know why everyone on B3ta is overweight?It's because every time one of us fucks your mum she gives us pudding afterwards.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:30,
Reply)
It's almost like Nakers is a titanic flidmo or something.But that can't be right, surely we'd have noticed before if that were true.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:27,
Reply)
alt alt- I've had manicures a couple of times and I quite fancy getting my eyebrows shaped a bit.(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:30, Reply)
why you had a manicure or want to look like this bloke2.bp.blogspot.com/-Qzo4IXX07G0/UQWYo9vmJLI/AAAAAAAAAJA/dU5RqrexAVc/s1600/eyebrows.jpg
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
he's from our equivilant of "jersey Shore" and is therefore a "douche"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:42,
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This guy is a dickwardhttps://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&sugexp=les%3B&gs_rn=2&gs_ri=serp&tok=GQPTYzHnfw85VhuJSt6dDQ&pq=big+brother+rylan&cp=6&gs_id=3n&xhr=t&q=rylan+clark&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.42080656,d.d2k&biw=1524&bih=831&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=TQIVUa_HL8il0AWPmIHIBQ
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
foodwrongsoven chips - (with good reason)
beans on a breakfast
tripe, lungs, kidney etc
mint sauce
orange sauce
snails
oysters
alt: Guff
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Snails & oysters are ace. As are kidneys; particularly curried lamb kidneys.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:33,
Reply)
Don't forget; if you feel unwell have a lie down.In the recovery position.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
and if you feel a mental episode coming, be sure to scramble your account and leave the internet forever(
Lisette von Falcon, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
it has the same effect on meimagine them all on one plate, Man V Food style........
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
it made me lol when Guy Farrai tried Hagis.I fucking love crispy chicken livers
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
as a rule I do not enjoy invertebrates.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
It's Theoban's dad, isn't it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:33,
Reply)
lookI is a Lady with boobies and a clopper therefore I am not theobans dad. okay?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
You need more balcony in your profile pic(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
Ah Post Op thenHi Theobans (former) step dad and now Step Mum (ish)
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:06, Reply)
THAT REALLY WAS RATHER RUDE OF YOUI am assuming you are an oil painting then?
(, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)
I'm having another lemsip1/2 hour before I'm technically allowed one, the MD weeekend starts here
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:45,
Reply)
I hope you don't die slowly and painfully from liver failure.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
Thank you, your kind words are very much appreicated(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
i have mnay works to do this afternoon, really, really can't be arsedi think i need a holiday
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
You need to make a better thread than this one.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:52,
Reply)
this^Too much to do - so much coffee to drink
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
The Black Eyed Peas last single really didn't have the impact of their earlier work(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
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