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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells.
I just got a free copy of the Manchester Evening News, on page 6 describes Joe Pasquale as a 'popular'(!) comic(!!).

I feel I should be writing a letter to the editor, but instead I'll winge on the internet. What would you be writing to the editor about?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:16, 187 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
About how Manchester is a freezing, rainy shithole full of cunts
and how the whole city should be steamrollered and its inhabitants sent to death camps.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:22, Reply)
That might liven things up a bit

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)
I've never been to the Manchester.
Describe it to me.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)
It's a freezing, rainy shithole full of cunts

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:25, Reply)
Yeah but Oasis were good werent they

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:26, Reply)
No.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Yeah but Cleopatra were good werent they

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:31, Reply)
No.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Yeah but Elbow were good werent they

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)
what a shit name for a band.
Yeah, I've got this new band on the go. Working title of kneecap. Anyone in?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)
The were originally called Bumhole, fact fans

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:41, Reply)
due to the shit they produced

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:42, Reply)
*nose/point*

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:43, Reply)
Also fronted by the worlds fattest smack head

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:43, Reply)
I love it.
Mind I am from Newcastle.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:26, Reply)
*smashes pasty*

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)
Dirty boy.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)
*drips like a chicken cheese slice*

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)
yeah, i got that bit, anything else significant?
Also, did you hear about that cunt trying to go across the Atlantic with helium balloons?
He fucked it.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Good.
Fucking 'look at me' prick.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)
The balloon guy's alright though HAHAHAHAHA

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:29, Reply)
I'm on hold Monty,
it's shit.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)
Have a hair of the dawg, and some Paracetamol ffs.
Cheerful cunt.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)
fuck a horse

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:31, Reply)
God, you've not been sent another text have you?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Ohhh dear, look what you have all driven Wilf to do :(

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)
it's alright,
he tweeted that he was "safe and well"
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)
Fuck, well maybe next time

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)
That must have been a letdown.
I know it's far too late but I couldn't let this pass without someone saying it
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:38, Reply)
London isn't?
Most places in the UK really.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)
I liked Llandudno
Booth was also nice
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)
+ who think they are THE NORTH.
Despite it more-or-less being level with other parts of the country that are still the midlands.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)
EX-actly where the fuck does the North start?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, Reply)
After Watford gap

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)
What the fuck has Swipes Foo-foo got to do with anything?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:40, Reply)
anywhere north of Bicester if you ask me.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Yeah, well nobody asked you copper knob, so fuck off yeah.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:41, Reply)
oi, knobcheese, watch it.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:43, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:43, Reply)
I'm not a northerner.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)
you fucking are

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:53, Reply)
I was born further south than you.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Yeah but you're a fucken prick, HOW ABOUT THAT?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:57, Reply)
As long as it's not a fucken northern prick, I can live with that.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:00, Reply)
HELLOSIR

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:14, Reply)
I think it depends on where abouts you're standing at the time.
It was more the point that there's more to the north than Manchester, contrary to their beliefs in the matter.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:41, Reply)
Barnet

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:43, Reply)
What about my hair?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:44, Reply)
I GET THIS, LIKE THE RHYMING SLANG FOR HAIR!!!!!
Classic knobcheese.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:47, Reply)
^ Southern Pufta ^

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:54, Reply)
it starts at penrith. anything below that is dangerously soft and southern

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:44, Reply)
hang on chaps
I think this ones a jocko
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Another one?
Christ, they're taking over.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:50, Reply)
Jacobite revenge

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:50, Reply)
oi watch it pal, there was a bloody big wall built there for a reason. i'm cumbrian

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:51, Reply)
when you say bloody big,
it looks as if it may just about hold out Battered, but the rest of them should be over it pretty quick.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)
^ typical scotch lie

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)
North of Penrith is fucking Scotchland
THIS IS FACT
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:54, Reply)
As a Brummie who lives in Scotland I would like to know where I stand in all this...

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:58, Reply)
DYAAKY
its the only way
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Do yourself <something> and kill yourself?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:06, Reply)
At the very bottom of life's pecking order.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:00, Reply)
Wrong, I've met someone who lives up here but used to be from Cov.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:07, Reply)
I've got a mate who moved from Cov to Glasgow, it's not him is it?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)
You've got a mate
hahahahahahaha

Great joke... 10/10
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)
hello Mr. Ranker,
how's the wedding going?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:48, Reply)
If he hasnt already had fingers from a bridesmaid
then pretty badly I would say
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:50, Reply)
hello mr pig.
good so far, cos i dodged the ceremony to get some kip. wish i could just get out the reception now
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)
why are you there?
if you're not going to attend the bit where they actually get married?

EDIT: Important question, what sort of trousers are you wearing?
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Liking the trick question, WP.
Get the scotch cunt to admit he's 'wheering the plaid'.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:54, Reply)
i was also checking he wasn't allergic to any sort of fabrics, and that his dad was ok with his attire.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:55, Reply)
wearing a kilt.
i mean shit, no, not a kilt, soft as shite southern trousers or summit. dunno why we're going, i assume the wife cared enough to want us to turn up. or we just taking the excuse to get pissed.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:59, Reply)
GOT YOU, I FUCKING *KNEW* IT

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)
who the hell are you??

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:57, Reply)
That's ranker joe

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:00, Reply)
rory. or reg. or al. you'll work it out, you're good at that sort of thing ain't you?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:01, Reply)
or Frank

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)
According to this radio programme the dividing line runs zig-zag from Cleethorpes to Gloucester
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01dlsz6/episodes/guide
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Large city up north
Mostly Victorian redbrick, but with god-awful sixties concrete in places. Plus new modern buildings where the city is doing itself up a bit. Trams that are useful to.

But wet. mostly wet.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:26, Reply)
It only had new buildings because Rory tried to flatten it.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)
with his 80kg on a 5'4" frame?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:29, Reply)
12st 8lbs
For those who cant picture what 80 Kg looks like on a person
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:31, Reply)
great for a weekend
quirky interesting shops, lots of historical interest, some really good bars, and a nice atmosphere.

i love it, but i find it a bit small after london.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)
considering how wrong you are about EVERYTHING else, I'm inclined to believe it really is the worst place imaginable.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:31, Reply)
Then you have never been to Scunthorpe, Thurrock, Luton. Milton Keynes, or god forbid Goole

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)
^this^

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)
i have been to Milton Keynes,
and i understand why cho-cho is so depressed.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, Reply)
HE IS NOT DEPRESSED, HE'S TOTES TROLLING YOU

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)
i think new shitholes are more depressing than old shitholes
because if you go somewhere shit that still has lovely old buildings underneath the shit, you can clean them up. whereas places like welwyn garden city and MK are just depressing square "architecture" like kids make out of lego.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:40, Reply)
I bet they don't get traffic jams

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:43, Reply)
This.
New towns are a monument to the idea that you can plan and micromanage peoples lives. They don't have the soul that comes from the organic growth of a place. They are somewhere to live that has no life of its own .
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:45, Reply)
God's never gonna forgive Goole.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:03, Reply)
I love London
Just for a visit though.
Manchester is a huge place if you count Greater Manchester as a whole.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Historical interest my arse.
Bunch of Industrial Revolution fucking steam engines and canals and Fred Dibnah bollocks. Steamroller it all, it's toss.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)
WHAT ABOUT THE LINDOW MAN?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Isn't he in the British Museum?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, Reply)
i don't know where he lives now
but he is FROM MANCHESTER!
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)
'Visit Manchester to see the fascinating historical stuff that isn't actually there any more'

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:39, Reply)
you could
but i'd just go on a northern quarter bar crawl, myself. CHEAP BEER!
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:44, Reply)
I'd go on
the first available train back to civilisation.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:51, Reply)
now, you know i love you
but we both know that you'd be sucking the beer out of the carpet at piccadilly station before getting the last train back
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:55, Reply)
It'll make a change from him licking the piss off the floor of the toilets in a Newcastle gay club.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I ONLY DID THAT ONCE FFS

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Piltdown lols

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Best of all the Lib Dem leaders

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:40, Reply)
How do you expect to build a steam roller large enough without industry ?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)
I've already got one.
I've had it for ages.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, Reply)
clumping together some scotch eggs maybe?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, Reply)
keyword: scotch

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Not on my page 6. Summat about trams.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:26, Reply)
Ah page 6 of the arts section

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:28, Reply)
^^ Gay

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:30, Reply)

ms nnys
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Also
why don't they do something about Cornbrook? and get some trams to run into south Manchester.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)
I can't think of one good reason I should have for wanting to write to the editor of a local newspaper, least of all one based in Manchester.
So I'd probably write about that.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:32, Reply)
alright.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)
alright Winchester

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)
you alright?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:37, Reply)
I'm skirting just about on the right side of a hangover, but otherwise fine.
A pint on the way home will sort me out.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)
i'm off the hook driving tonight, so i might start drinking fairly soon.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:41, Reply)
I can see no flaws in this plan.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:45, Reply)
I seem to be listen to The Orb
I don't know how this happened
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:34, Reply)
There's probably a rational explanation.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)
I didnt know I had any on the laptop
hence my surprise
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:38, Reply)
I've had a letter printed in Viz.
Back of the net.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:44, Reply)
Did you get a fiver or a pencil?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:48, Reply)
I got nowt.
Northern term for nothing.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:55, Reply)
PROVE IT YOU FUCKING PRICK!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)
He's full of shit mate.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)
he's going on the list.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Sad news Manc music lovers.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-24077284
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Do you think the "last minute content disagreement" with its publisher was over the chapter Why I Hate Pakis?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:51, Reply)
I would guess more along the lines of the editor adding
"well known cunt" before the word Morrisey
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Good. He's a first-class pretentious cunt.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Did Monty have a biography due out at the same time?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Oh man, loadsa stuff
Dear Mr Editor,

why are there bikes on the pavement blinding me all to fuck when theres a perfectly good dual carriageway for them to use? and what happened to white dog poo? this one time I went into the local restaurant and asked for some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. and whats the deal with sachets? and how come a fella cant walk into the street and buy some decent drugs anymore? What's THAT all about?

Yours
Jerry Seinfeld
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:54, Reply)
I can't reply to this
I'm not a bike.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:09, Reply)
are you an editor then?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:09, Reply)
but enough about your wife

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Dear Editor
Why do people still buy actual newspapers when you can go on the Internet and that?

Very best regards,

Depressed of Folkestone.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I've just had pulled pork and Peroni for lunch

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Great news everyone!!!!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:06, Reply)
It was nommy

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:06, Reply)
I had a cheese and mango chutney toasted sandwich.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Did you toast the mango chutney?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Is that a euphemism?
Jeff's not a ferret as far as we know
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:13, Reply)
I don't care.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Is this because you are stuck at work?
I might go for a nap in a minute
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)
I hope you didn't forget to buy shoelaces

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)
I just can't be bothered today. I'm burnt out after a long week.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:16, Reply)
I had a scotch FEAST

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:08, Reply)
Yeah but what did you EAT?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:11, Reply)
Is that like the regular ice cream but with a creamy skag filled centre?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:13, Reply)
That could be deep fried anything

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:13, Reply)
he probably is popular
i bet he packs them in at the Winter Gardens in Blackpool and 'end of the pier' shows up and down the country. I've never been to an end of the pier show, every pier end I've been to has 'amusement' arcades or tea rooms.
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:09, Reply)
5/7 muthatruckers
www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-24061824
(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:10, Reply)
235/7 YESSS!!!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)
I don't think you're being entirely honest are you?

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:13, Reply)
4/7 yeesssss!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:12, Reply)
I got the Harry Potter one and the Goat one wrong, so in a way I WIN

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:14, Reply)
I got the goat one. I was pleased.

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Didn't bother YES!!!

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:13, Reply)
is the correct answer

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:14, Reply)
New thread, just sayin

(, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)

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