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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning folks.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:01, 346 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
morning!
how are you doing?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:31, Reply)
It's a grey and drizzly morning....
And I have all the fun of a 'Jobcentre Plus' interview today to look forward to.

How bloody humiliating - I've claimed absolutely nothing, not a sausage since entering University 18 years ago.

I've always "worked".

But I'm in an industry that is NOT hiring, it's also the wrong time of year, and basically I've run out of money.

At least I haven't started watching daytime TV.

'Protestant Work Ethic, you're a bastard'
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:37, Reply)
I'm fine.
Just enjoying a bit of radio free work before the overseer gets here.

How about you?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:37, Reply)
I'm doing ok
tired, and really fed up with the temp technician who is sat next to me and seems to think we have some kind of shared interests.

yes I'm in a band, and yes your son is in a band, this doesn't mean I want to talk to you.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:40, Reply)
@Vipros
Everytime they say something just sigh really loudly.
They'll soon get the message.

@osok. There's nothing humiliating about going to the job centre to look for work. At least you're doing something about it! Plenty of people out there don't...You are actually looking for work, not just scrounging. That's what it's there for.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:44, Reply)
I've taken to coming in and putting my headphones straight in
my ipod battery ran out the other day and I just kept my headphones in all afternoon with no music...

I was on the dole for a while, waiting for engineering jobs straight after uni. the money was terrible, but I wasn't paying rent or anything, so wasn't too bad.

they had no jobs for me at all though. I'd go in and tell them what I'd done to find a job, namely applied to more engineering companies, and they'd say "let's see what is on the system" and I'd recite to them the list of jobs, all of which required 3 years experience

then they'd ask if I wanted to do anything else and I suggested that I didn't spend 4 years at uni and come out with a good quality masters in civil engineering to work in a fucking restaurant.

morons.

then I joined a temp agency. some of it is easy work for not too bad money. got to work in a couple of banks, where I discovered that all the people who work there are morons as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:46, Reply)
And on a lighter note
The bloke who wrote the Artemis Fowl books has been commissioned to write the sixth Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy book.

Part of me is going 'Yippee', while the 'hmmmmmm' response is also there.

Sacrilege or good thing?
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:49, Reply)
Good plan!
I'd love to be able to do that here!
I heard the story of when my boss got her first period yesterday. That was the third time she's told me.

I wish I could put her on mute.

Edit: @Vipros I work for a bank and I'm not a moron, well not all of the time :(
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:50, Reply)
Morning everybody.
Glad you're in a crap music free zone atm Lusty.

Vipros sorry about your temp. You should carry your charger with you and plug it in when you get to work, that way lies music!

Osok, there is nothing wrong with using the job centre, you're not a loafer and working really beat daytime TV.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:54, Reply)
must have just been the banks that I was in
and in fact I have a couple of friends who work in banks and certainly aren't morons.

an example though: I had been there about a week and a customer was really complaining about his money transfer to an australian bank, and the cashiers had cocked it about, but what he really was complaining about was being charged twice, once by the bank he was sending it from and once by the bank receiving it. I ended up having to explain to him what happened with the transaction, and why he was being charged and that we had nothing to do with the bank at the other end.

He was happy with that, and it amazed the cashiers because they didn't have a clue.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:56, Reply)
@ Osok
Not too bad a thing I'd say. I quite like the AF books, mainly as I quite like audiobooks for when I'm whizzing up and down motorways, but don't want anything that needs too much concentration.

He's got a nice little acidic turn of phrase and could pick up the themes quite well...
(I helped save b3ta! Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:57, Reply)
I signed off with 'ta ta, pub time' last night.
I really regret doing that.
Stupid cider. Stupid me. Please make it go away.
I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupid.

*sits in corner muttering and wringing hands*
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 8:58, Reply)
Herr Doktor
unfortunately I have an 2nd gen ipod shuffle and the charger port is the same as the headphone one, so can only do one at a time

charged it last night though, so it's all good

plus my new metallica cd should arrive this morning!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:00, Reply)
Feeling slightly delicate
this morning then pinkone?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:00, Reply)
Morning all
It's a new day, and I slept well last night. Hoorahs.

My experience of banks is that they're generally quite useless.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:03, Reply)
wander
Delicate is not the word, it's more serious than that.
Anyone want to donate a kidney?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:05, Reply)
OITP
Irn Bru and greasy food. The only medically guaranteed* cure.









*University of Because I Said So Medical School
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:07, Reply)
Morning all
I'm coming down with a chest infection and hardly slept last night so I'm in a foul mood.

I should be avoided at all costs.

*is grumpy as sin*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:09, Reply)
Irn Bru
Hmm, might have to take a wander down town in a bit then.
Maybe a visit to the grot van for some grease too.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:12, Reply)
Good morrow fine b3tans
I keep doing the most fabulously aromatic windy pops after the most immense Injun last night!
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:23, Reply)
Morning.
I have no work to do today.

Done the wages and now just wondering how to fill the day.







Doh! I know. I'll faff about on B3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:27, Reply)
Right, I'm going to get up and go into town
I might even get a new battery for my watch, seeing as the battery died about 4 months ago.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:29, Reply)
I need coffee
Is it lunchtime yet?
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:29, Reply)
@Kaol
What is it today?

3 cups?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:32, Reply)
Yeah, three.
But I mean generally I need a coffee.
It's early, and I'm tired and grumpy.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:33, Reply)
Hello!
Lusty - I had a dream about you last night - we were at another festival and watching the paralympics on a TV screen. Ace.

BGB - B3ta is always a good way to spend the day!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:35, Reply)
'Ning All
My PC was so slow loading my gaz inbox last night and I realised I'd never deleted or archived a single one. So I've done it this morning at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:36, Reply)
I'm at the annoying stage of a project
where I've built the model, the 1D bit runs but doesn't run for more than 2 hours of model time when linked to the 2D, and that takes about 20 minutes to find out. so I sit for 20 minutes, feeling all tense, it doesn't work, I make some small changes, sit for 20 minutes feeling tense, it doesn't work

rinse and repeat

not fun. hopefully I've just cracked it though
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:36, Reply)
Bloody fire safety inspection
Right in the middle of my day of b3tatime! Cnuts.

I vanish for 10 minutes and we have a huge population explosion in here, my gods people slow down a bit we only have so much cake.

'Ning and hugs to all the new arrivals.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:36, Reply)
Hugh?
*changes name*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:37, Reply)
Morning all you fine, fine internetters!
Finally got my phone back therefore internet access... woo me!

Seems like things changed while I was gone, then went back to normal. Woo to that also.

In other news, I've completely changed my diet from living off complete rubbish like crisps and cider to actually eating fruit and vegetables and stuff. It's only been a week and I feel great!

Gillian McKeith can suck my average knob off.

How are we all?
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)
Crisps and cider?
That's fruit and veg, right there!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:42, Reply)
Cider
I had more than my 5 a day last night.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:46, Reply)
Me too!
I work on the theory that if a can is 2.3 units, say, then it's 2.3 apples.
The more apples, the more alcohol!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:48, Reply)
Kaol it's edited now
Damn my useless fingers.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:48, Reply)
Awh,
Your fingers aren't useless, I'm sure.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:49, Reply)
Heh
It's weird, although I generally feel much better and am sleeping well, I've developed a twitch on my eyelid which threatens to make me look like an evil genius.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:50, Reply)
Well...
Are you evil?
Or particularly clever?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:52, Reply)
Well
I'm a bit clever I suppose, but mostly not evil.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:53, Reply)
Hmm...
Well, I can do evil, but I'm not particularly clever, so between us...
*evil grin*

*dramatic pause*

We could rule the world.

*twitches*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)
I'm starting to remember that there is a reply button at the bottom of the page.
And I've started to get the hang of doing sit-ups properly.


At the next bash I'll show everyone my six pack : )

It may be hidden under a load of flab but it will be there.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)
Morning all
I got in extra early (8:55 am) to finish this bastard report, but now it's done! Seeing as I was on a roll, I whizzed through my witness statement too!

Now it's just the quality and submission stages, then next week the copper will call me up with stupid questions (which I've already answered in my report). THEN two years later, mere days before the trial, the barrister will call me up with even more stupid questions (again, covered in the report), and demand I travel 3 hours to central London, for a half hour meeting that could be done over the phone.

God bless the System.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)
LVP
That dream sounds ace!
I love watching disabled people at festivals.

I've had a dream about someone from b3ta before. It wasn't rude or anything, just a bit odd and made me sad that flying dogs don't really exist.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)
Wanderlust
It's ok, everyone on here has dreams of me.
I'm sorry about the flying dogs though, but I'm banned from genetic manipulation and cloning, as everything I create goes mouldy.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 9:59, Reply)
Flying dogs
do exist, and I have my trebuchet to prove it :)
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)
If flying dogs existed
Everyone would wear hats all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Hmmm...
I'm glad they don't exist.

*zips up jacket*

Why is it so cold?
*frowns*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:02, Reply)
LM - HA
That made me laugh.
If I remember correctly lusty, we were watching the swimming paralympics. It was all most odd.

I'm considering going downstairs and making some cheese on toast. Can I be bothered?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:03, Reply)
@kaol
I haven't dreamt about you, though I must say you are rather dreamy.
*winks*

@LVP you're actually the third b3tan that I'm aware of that's had me feature in a dream!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)
*blushes*
Er...

Thank you
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:10, Reply)
paralympic swimming
Was it wrong to be amused by a bloke with no arms smacking head-first into the edge of the pool to register his time?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:10, Reply)
@Lusty
I'll get to the back of the queue then! ;p

Kaol - It is a bit chilly today isn't it? I've had to shut the window. That signifies the end of summer. Not that we've had a lot of sun to be honest.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)
I'd've laughed
But then again I got uncontrollable giggles when I was at a party and there was a midget there...

Lucy, yes, it's cold. I need a mammal in my coat to steal warmth from.
Either a baby or a hairless cat.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:12, Reply)
BK
It's not wrong at all.
I'm thinking he could probably go across land in the same manner as swimming - sort of caterpillaresque.

*edit* I suppose the stroke was the forerunner to the butterfly.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:13, Reply)
Kaol
Ooooh get a hairless cat. That'd be amazing. I always wonder what they feel like.
And when it's hot, would they stick to skin?

Any excessively wrinkled animal is a win in my opinion.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)
midgets are hilarious though
so that's understandable
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)
*leaps in*
NING everyone!

How are we all today?

@ BK - a little bit wrong, yes.

Hairless wrinkly animals - no, no, no!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)
Although they're freakish mutants
I do really like them.

I think they're really expensive though.

Be easier to get a normal cat, and laser-hair-removal it.

I'm glad you agree, Vipros.
One of my mates was forced to be sick by and angry dwarf, once.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)
^glanced back at this
and thought you were still talking about midgets
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)
Boss
It's not wrong at all, it's just funny.

Damn my work, My boss is away this week and the shit has just hit the fan (it's now very messy and smelly here, maybe I should relocate to the pub?) I hate this place!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)
*fanfares*
Good morning, fellow b3tans!

Bit of a 'mare so far today. Tell me, can running London Underground really be that hard?

Anyway, I'm here now, and very hungry. Someone has removed my emergency packet of crisps from my drawer. This is not amusing.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)
How does an angry dwarf make one sick?
I need answers!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:19, Reply)
Hairless cats are ugly!
There's something distinctly wrong about hairless cats, but then dogs with docked tails are also wrong...
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)
GOTW is
Bored.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)
I'm surprised
no one's made a joke about having a bald pussy yet.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)
Good point Wanderlust!
Hmm, I need a nice cup of tea, I'm obviously not firing on all cylinders yet if I missed an obvious classic like that!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:23, Reply)
GOTW
Here have a pie, and a hug, and this small thermonuclear device. But remember don't use it here.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:23, Reply)
All of you freak-haters
Look at this!

Erm... The angry dwarf story is a bit long to type, I'll tell you about it in person :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:24, Reply)
Thats not a Sphinx!
Thats a small bald pussy!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)
Aaaaaaaaaah
That kitteh is so cute! even though it lacks teh fluffeh it's still ace!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)
awww
I think it looks cute! Even if it does look slightly like an alien foetus.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)
I want one.
Then I can throw away my stash of lint rollers.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:27, Reply)
it's evil!
look at those eyes....windows into the void, where lurk untold horrors....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)
@BGB
You should try investing in a Devon rex, they have the under coat only so they are slightly fluffeh but they tend not to shed a noticeable amount. They like snugges as they get cold easily, but htey will drive you nuts with their attention whoring so get two :-)
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:29, Reply)
I have to agree with Vipros
It's evil!

Fluffeh things should be fluffeh.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:32, Reply)
Yays!
I just popped into my ex workplace and discovered I'm getting all backdated holiday pay! Yay!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)
@BGB
I thought you meant you were going to use the fluffehless cat as a lint roller. Little extreme! But now I realise that I am an idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)
I have sausage and bacon
I am all of the happy now!

*noms*

*edit*
I call that thing the Newcastle Cat, as it doesn't own a coat.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)
Devon rex?
"They have been described as "a monkey in a cat suit""

*laughs*

Anyway, those hairless cats are expensive, so I won't be getting one.

I really want to get some Bearded Dragons when I move, they're better than cats.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)
Kaol
They so are! Little mofos. Also, smelliest poos ever. FACT.

So how many of you B3tans know eachother?

I know for a fact that a fellow b3tan on here frequents the same pub as I do and that we've probably spoken/spilled beer on eachother but understandably, after the QOTW answers we've both written we are slightly reluctant to reveal our true identities. I've been trying to guess who it might be for a couple of weeks now! ha ha!
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)
I've got ferrets
They have the right mix of fluffness and toughness.
They're excellent.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)
GOTW
Oooh that sounds intriguing. Do you have any idea who they are? Gaz em and see! Then make sure to tell us all!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)
It's Wrigglesworth!
But we have decided to remain a nony mouse. Sort of comforting to know there's a fellow b3tan in the vicinity.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)
Girl
I've met quite a few and nearly all of them have been really great.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Ferrets FTW
and I too say that they are the right mix of fluffeh and tough, they rock.

I've also got rats, they can be real snuggly when they want, and their wiskers tickle your nose!

Edit

@Clendrix So who's not great then?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Clendrix
Nearly all? :p

Good morning!

Herr Dok: It's us, isn't it? :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)
I have yet to meet a horrible B3tan.
Scary yes, but not horrible.

Besides we have to be nice to each other because we know all our little secrets : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)
Herr Dok
I used to have pet rats. They are such good pets, so intelligent and cuddly.
And I do want ferrets. They are also on my list of things for the future.

I have only met one b3tan but it was fun!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Ha!
I knew that'd get a response.

But I ain't saying.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Miss LvP
Ferrets are as much fun as rats only bigger, and if you get them young enough they can be just as cuddly as well.

EDIT @ clen

It's you isn't it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)
My friend had ferretts, they smelled of wee :(
Don't they wee alot? Or was my mate just a house slut who didn't clean the poor things out very often?

And do they bite, I don't like bitey things?
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)
I've got rats too
But have to keep them seperate from the ferrets.
The ferts would kill 'em.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)
Dok
No. I met me before I was a b3tan. But thanks anyway, you cheeky bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)
I miss my ferret
Long live Rat-Face.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)
Kaol
Get a rat and call it ferret-face.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)
GOTW
I've not got any bitey ferrets, I'm more likely to be bit by my lizards. But yes ferrets can be a bit bitey but if they are young it's just like kittens and puppies, and you can train them not to bite. They can also smell but not badly if you clean them regularly, they can also be litter trained like cats, which make the cleaning up after hem a lot easier.

@clen But I thought you sprang into existance as a fully grown b3tan?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)
Madness!
I don't want a rat, haha!

I've not got space for mammals now, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)
Dok,
I spend so much time dicking around on here that it sometimes feels that way.

Shall I do some more work? Or shall I go to the park for a coffee and a smoke. Hmm...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:12, Reply)
Ferts
If you get them neutered it will get rid of 95% of the smell.
The remaining 5% smells not too dissimilar to stale honey and is not at all repulsive.
I can't wait for the first frosts so I can get out and bag some pesky wabbits.

They will stage dirty protests if you don't change their litter trays often.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)
@ Clen
Coffee and a smoke in the park is the way forward! Remember to come back to us though.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Ah thank you
For clearing that up for me. You know, you b3tans are really rather lovely.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:21, Reply)
T3am B3ta!
I need your help!

What is the law that states that, every 18 months, technology will become twice as powerful or half as cheap? I forget! I need to know and google is not being helpful!

Thank you in advance,

DiT

EDIT: Forget it, it's Moore's Law, I remembered as I pressed post. Gah!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)
Moore's Law
:)

EDIT: Balls.

Also, of interest: Kranzberg's laws of technology:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kranzberg's_laws_of_technology
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:24, Reply)
What's that law
that says as soon as one pushes 'post' one will realise one shouldn't.

Oh yeh, Mong's Law.

*runs away*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)
Mong's Law?
*looks for dodgem*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)
@DiT
Surely half as cheap is the same as twice as expensive?

/pedant
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Kaol
Haaaaaaahahahaha - I love that guy.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:27, Reply)
Almost time to go and the the nice people at DW&P
After some deliberation, I decided to (a) wash and (b) shave, although I realsie it'll make me stand out (after Davros' Granddad/Scaryducks tales of woe).

The required ten thousand bits of paper have been gathered together to prove that I exist, have been paying taxes like a good boy but am now a pauper. Next stop the tax office to change my status from self employed 'consultant' to 'scum'. Happy days.

And then the mammoth task of persuading those chaps/chapesses at Organ-Theft, Barratry and Larceny PLC that they should be paying out on the Mortgage Protection policy that they didn't do last time. Yay for small print....
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:32, Reply)
@Cappy V
No, not really! ;P

@Clenders: Watch it! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:32, Reply)
@DiT
Perhaps it'll make more sense to me when I don't feel like I'm going to fall asleep at any moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)
@GOTW
You're welcome mi'lady.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)
@Captain V
Doesn't sound good...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)
Nope
Slept really badly last night and I'm coming down with a chest infection. Fun times.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:42, Reply)
Je return
Parents anniversary present taken care of, now to get on with yet more packing.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 11:45, Reply)
Everyone gone for lunch or something?
*shrugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:03, Reply)
I'm still here!
Boring, innit?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)
Yeah...
Stupid, boring people...

:p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)
It is rather quiet today, innit?
You'd think people had something to do that isn't B3ta. But that can't be possible!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)
trying to get my stupid model to work properly
it's being an arse

I've had to email for support...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)
I'm still here
But throwing stuff at bags too. I have far too much stuff.

Are you both having funs at work?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)
They're fooling themselves.
I pity the fools.

Pod - stuff at bags? Surely in bags would be more efficient?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)
Woo!
People-explosion!

I'm applying for a few jobs, determined to move to London now, haha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Hello
Can I take advantage of this quiet spell to introduce myself. I mostly lurk but work is so boring at the moment I thought I would say hi. I live in Sheffield, drive a desk, sing a lot and am far too old for my own good.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:11, Reply)
Hello MissP
Welcome!
I'm sure Kaol will now ask you questions.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Hello MissPiggy
Fellow Yorkshire based person. How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Welcome misspiggy
Hope you enjoy your non-lurking
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)
I'm on BOOKFACE
Indulging my narcissistic side.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Thanks all
If Kaol asks questions will I need a lawyer?
@ BK - I am fine except for lack of sleep.
My neighbours are asian and for the whole of Ramadan (ie all September) they get up very noisily at 4.30-5.00am. Which means so do I. Ho hum
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)
Hello
Miss Piggeh from Sheffield :D
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)
I am a lawyer
Don't worry *smiles*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)
MissP
No, you won't, but as many miles between you both as possible is advisable.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)
hello misspiggy
enjoy yourself :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)
No, at bags is working just now
It's an interesting take on packing, but I find it generally works.

Hello there Miss Piggy. Just give Kaol the correct answers, and you'll be fine. Ish.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)
Hi MissP
Sit down, put your feet up and have some tea and cake.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)
Have I got this right?
If Kaol smiles, you worry?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)
MissP
Yes, absolutely. You also shouldn't believe him.

Dok, what's going on with your board sig?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:21, Reply)
Very wrong Miss P
If he does *anything* you should worry. Even if he's doing nothing you should worry.

Just worry.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)
But
Kaol is lovely, just watch out for his pointy things!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)
Gr3tans
Am about to set off on my trip, and am stopping by to say hi.

Oh, and welcome misspiggy. Don't worry about Kaol. He's nice and cuddly once you get to know him.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)
Ooerr
Creeps back into shadows......
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)
Afternoon campers.
I've gone back to work after having 2.5 days off and unsurprisingly I now have 3.5 days worth of work to do, I wonder why I ever bother taking a holiday.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)
Kaol's Fantabulous Questions!
1) When was the last time you broke the law? What were you doing?

2) Which "movie monster" scares you the most?

3) You're in a pub. It's Karaoke night. You have to do one song, what do you sing?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)
Welcome, misspiggy!
Pull up a bean bag, grab a fluffeh, and talk bollocks with us!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)
@ Clen
Somebody ate all of the Tablet I made. Four pounds of the stuff in just over a week!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)
Dok
but your sig doesn't make sense. Buy?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:25, Reply)
And again
Damn my useless fingers!

*crys*Why can't I type?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:27, Reply)
Dok
I don't know why you can't type, but your new sig is much better now anyway!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:28, Reply)
Didn't realise
he was anything other than luverlee in the first place!!
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)
Spakka's answers
1. Downloading a pirated TV show.
2. The library ghost in Ghostbusters.
3. Spice Girls - Wannabe.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)
Answer these my questions three?
1) Yesterday. I was at a self service checkout and someone left 25p in the change dispenser and I took it.

2) Kevin from that awfully scary "Home Alone" film

3) Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:31, Reply)
@Kaol
Oh no! I am hopeless at lying so -

1) To my shame - DUI - I only did it once & got caught (but no excuses)

2)Jim Carrey scares the life out of me cos if everyone else thinks he's funny then it must be me that's weird.

3) Last time I sang karaoke I sang 'You're so Vain' by Carley Simon. This was because I was with a guy at the time who was. Very.

That's it, folks.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:33, Reply)
Nice answers
MissP!

Phillie - 25p? Shame on you...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)
@kaol
This:

Kaol's Fantabulous Questions!
1) When was the last time you broke the law? What were you doing?

2) Which "movie monster" scares you the most?

3) You're in a pub. It's Karaoke night. You have to do one song, what do you sing?

deserves a fresh post of it's own! My answers would be:

1) Last Friday. Smoking.

2) Erm....I don't get ascared.

3) Black velvet - Alannah Myles. Which I did. A couple of weeks ago. Sat on my bosses knee. Oh dear.

I know this wasn't mean for me but I'm that bored I shall answer anyway!
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:34, Reply)
My hands they betray me
maybe I have Alien hand syndrome?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:35, Reply)
oooo I just noticed
tis Rob's B3ta birthday.

Hello all again also.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:35, Reply)
Is Rob's b3taday b3ta's birthday?

(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)
I might as well answer...
1) This morning, on the way to work. Fast driving. I've got a flick-knife in my desk-drawer. So... Now, I guess.

2) Pennywise from IT. I don't like Clowns.

3) I do a good version of "Viva Las Vegas" by Elvis.

EDIT: GOTW, are you 17 then?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)
My answers
1: Last night in the car with no seatbelt on.

2: None

3: I don't sing! Well I shouldn't.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)
haven't we answered these before
1. spliff last night
2. Pennywise
3. I hate karaoke, but if pressed then Let me put my love into you by AC/DC
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:42, Reply)
Mr. V
These are indeed a re-posting, but they're fairly old, there're new people since then!

Twenty minutes 'til Day Three of Kaol's Espresso Challenge.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:44, Reply)
Ooh questions
1) Enjoyed a spliff on Saturday

2) Slimer charging down that hallway in Ghostbusters. gave me nightmares for years

3)Startrekkin' by The Firm
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:44, Reply)
Bye now
Nice to meet you all. Have to do some work now. Will come again and bring cakes.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:45, Reply)
@ Kaol
No, I'm 28. But I was smoking somewhere I shouldn't be! Naughty me!
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:47, Reply)
Ah right!
That makes more sense :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:49, Reply)
My answers:
1) A few months ago, I nipped in to Tesco to grab a few bits. I never pick up a basket, and my 'few bits' turned in to 'quite a bit'. To maximise my carrying potential, I utilised a pocket to hold a jar of Ragu. I went to the till, paid, and it was only when I got home I realised that I had forgotten to take it out of my pocket. I accidentally shoplifted. Eeek!

2) I think someone else has said it, but Pennywise from IT. Terrifying. Also: Pipes from Ghostwatch and Derek Acorah.

3) A friend and I always do 'In The end' by Linkin Park. This is because he's a really good singer and always wants to do Karaoke, whereas I hate it and am a bad singer. So, to placate him, I do the rap part and he does the singy part. Also, a few NYE's ago I got drunk and sung 'Losing My Religion' and 'I Would Do Anything For Love' with the landlady. Gareth Gates' aunt was there, and she said I was better than him.

High praise indeed, I'm sure you'll agree.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:49, Reply)
I like questions!
1. Hmm, probably nudged the car to 71 about 2 weeks ago.

2. When I was younger it was Pennywise from It.

3. Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)
hmm
Anyone else experiencing problems with Chrome? I can't open a new tab but when I tried multiple tabs on IE it all worked fine.

Anyways,
1) Probably teh drugs. I can't think of anything else naughty I've done recently.

2) Movie monster - probably doesn't count but I CANNOT get in the sea without picturing Jaws.

3) A Little Respect - Erasure - It's guaranteed I won't hit a single note but by god I'll have fun doing it!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:52, Reply)
We've done these before.
Blurgh!


*thinks up new questions*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:54, Reply)
Movie monsters
I'm noticing a trend here, far too many of you are ascared of Pennywise.

I know clowns are scary but he was just funny, if you ignored the whole clown look.

Clowns, something else that should be wiped from the face of the planet!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:55, Reply)
I'll come up with some more
This afternoon.

Now... Now it's Espresso time :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Morning all
For it is morning until I've had my breakfast.

1. I used to be illegal on a daily basis but am woefully boring these days. Last thing... er.... I sped.

2. ET

3. Holiday in Cambodia.

(Reading all these answers makes me really really really want a karaoke b3ta bash).
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 12:57, Reply)
pennywise isn't scary becaue he's a clown
I find him scary because of the evil teeth and the coming out of the drains, sink, shower etc...
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)
Greetings warmfuzzyfeeling
I second a karaoke bash. Perhaps once I've moved to London next month, I'll try and organise one.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:02, Reply)
Pennywise
I only found him scary because I had the first half of the film inflicted on me when I was 8.

It was only when I saw the whole film, many years later, that I saw the bit with the giant spiders and the earring catapult.

Suddenly he wasn't so scary anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:03, Reply)
*waves*
Afternoon people.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:03, Reply)
LM
likewise

although I never saw the 2nd half, so am still mildly traumatised

afternoong TGB!

you're late!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:04, Reply)
late for what?
I have been sleeping/reading/doing nothing
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:05, Reply)
Afternoon TGB
Feeling any better?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:06, Reply)
Karaoke Bash!!!
Woo!

I went to Lucky Voice on Upper Street a couple of weeks ago. It was awesome :D
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:10, Reply)
Kweschins
1. I did drink drive *ashamed* but there was grass growing in the middle of the road.
2. Rawhead Rex
3. Paranoid - Black Sabbath, apparently I'm pretty good.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:10, Reply)
no, I meant late as in dead...
sorry, I thought you got the memo....
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)
@ LvP
My friend Danielle and I always sing A Little Respect in the car on the way to work to cheer ourselves up.

She has sung in choirs.
I have sung in the bath. Says it all.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)
Noon TGB!
*waves*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:13, Reply)
Hey Lab
yes thanks :)

And no I didn't get the memo.. my desk is a bit of a mess though

Edit: DIT! *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:13, Reply)
Am I a total degenerate
or does anybody else go for a pint at lunchtime?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:20, Reply)
Only 2 more days and then a week off work.
Huzza!



I can't drink at lunch time. I'd get nothing done in the afternoon.



*realises she does nothing in the afternoon anyway because she's on here*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:22, Reply)
pinky
I have to use my brain to do maths and stuff so if I have a pint it ruins my ability to do work in the afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)
????
What's lunchtime?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)
ooh, questions!
1. This morning, and I was doing 85 when I should have been doing 60 *ahem*

2. Mike from Monsters Inc. His eye is too big.

3. Depends on how drunk I am. Let's go for "very", in which case, Black Velvet.

*goes back to lorking*

lorking = lurking while working.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:24, Reply)
@Tulip
*Lorking*

I like it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)
I have to use my brain for maths/science/engineering
but the mornings take it out of me and I need to chill.

*edit* Fuck! From these responses I am a degenerate.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:26, Reply)
Pinky
I love a lunchtime pint. Let's face it, I get precious little done at work with or without alcohol.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:27, Reply)
if lorking is lurking while working
is purking lurking while packing?

Re lunchtime pint: If I have more than one, I either can't think straight or take a more gung-ho approach to my work.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:29, Reply)
@ spakka
why, yes, it is!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)
Lunchtime drinking
I sometimes have a cheeky pint on a Friday, as I usually leave work at 3:30 on a Friday anyway.

Lunch and a pint does make me want to curl up under my desk though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)
I think it's healthy in a way
It's good to get away from the desk and chill for a bit.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)
HLT
What would porking be then?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:31, Reply)
@oneinthepink
Isn't that having sex while lurking?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:36, Reply)
Lunchtime pint
Couldnt do it - it would be too long to wait until the next one.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:36, Reply)
@ oninthepink
Erm, illegal?

200, woo!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)
Having sex and lurking
It does sound a bit illegal.

So would wurking be having a wank whilst lurking?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)
Afternoon all
1) Last week, climbing around on the top of Woolworths.

2) When I watched Jeepers Creepers in the cinema.

3) Highway to Hell - AC/DC
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:47, Reply)
Oneinthepink
You're ok, I go to the pub rather often.
Last Friday I had multiple double whiskeys before coming back to work...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:52, Reply)
*pokes Kaol*
We (my office) always used to go to the pub at lunchtime.

Three pints means you will probably have to redo everything you did on Friday afternoon on Monday though :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:54, Reply)
KTR & TGB
This is what I like to hear - sterling effort.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)
Oi!
Wha'y'pokin' me for?
I'm full of coffee :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)
On the one occasion
I had a drink at lunchtime, I came back and expressed some previously pent up emotions at my boss regarding her lack of boss-ness qualities.

Wups.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)
At least releasing pent up emotions
is one way of improving communication in the office.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)
Well it's lunchtime for me here
Toasties and cider!

Bring it on. How's the coffee today, Kaol?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:57, Reply)
I'm not averse to a pint at lunch
as long as I don't have to do anything in the afternoon, or have some nap time scheduled!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 13:59, Reply)
Many moons ago.
At work I once had far too much coffee and ate a very large bag of chocolate covered peanuts and burst into tears on the way home for no reason.


You won't cry on us will you Kaol.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:00, Reply)
If having a pint at lunch makes you a degenerate
Then does having a vodka on the way to work make you a lost cause?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)
Actually
I did feel it cleared the air. I felt better. And she'd already informed me she was "letting me go" (months previously and with no definite end date) so what was the worse that could happen? She could fire me again? :)
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)
I don't cry.
I'm far too happy, all the time.

Coffee is fine, I'm feeling nicely invigorated :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)
I think it's a dangerous experiment
I have previous experience in the coffe O/D department.
It's a horrendous feeling, I was rendered anxious for the whole day.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:02, Reply)
as someone who has never drunk coffee
and basically doesn't drink tea anymore either I am intrigued by Kaol's experiment.

if you start getting really weird towards the end of the week then you need to film it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)
I am overly sensitive
to caffeine. My friends and family think it's funny to feed me coffee then watch me bouncing off the walls. God only knows what I used to look like when I was taking speed.

The caffeine thing is hereditary, at my mum's work if they are bored they persuade to drink coffee, and if they really want a laugh they get her to take some of her loopy painkillers too.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:08, Reply)
@Vipros
How will we know if he starts getting wierd?




He's wierd to start with : )
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:08, Reply)
Caffeine
Caffeine does nothing to me at all. I used to dose myself to the eyeballs on DoDos for all-night film shows (before Red Bull, I am that old) and never stayed awake. I have an expresso maker and make a whole jug & drink the lot - no effects whatsoever. Bugger.
MMmm speed.....can you still get it?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:09, Reply)
I'm assuming he will know if he is getting weird
and by weird I mean different to how he normally is
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)
Yeah
It's a funny thing caffeine. If I overdose on it (ie TWO cups of coffee) I fall asleep.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)
Actually Miss Piggy
You have an espresso maker.

It used to annoy me at work when people asked for expressos.

edit - I also used to hate it because half the time they actually just wanted a black coffee. Idiots.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:13, Reply)
D'oh!
And me just back from Italy.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:14, Reply)
Caffine just about keeps me going now
as I drink waaaaaaaay to much but the one and only time I took speed I felt fuzzy and fell asleep.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:18, Reply)
Caffeine does nothing for me now
Due to all the Irn Bru I drink.

It's gone all quiet again.....
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:21, Reply)
Well known fact
that if you drink no caffeine at all you are as awake as a person who drinks lots of caffeine. It's only if you regularly imbibe and then miss your fix that you feel braindead and dysfunctional.

So there you go. Don't do drugs, kids!
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:22, Reply)
Question
Which person in the whole world would you most like to pin up against a wall and point a flamethrower at?
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:23, Reply)
I'm perked up
not because of coffee, but because I've got 4 b3ta bashes lined up within the next week and a half. Wooooooo!

@misspiggy: I'd pick Dick Cheney.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:26, Reply)
Are there
any bashes oop Norf?

Coz that's where I live.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)
Angy, angry Kaol.
*fumes*

My boss just decided that the best way to have a go at me, in a professional way was to scream, call me a liar and smack his fist on the window next to my desk...

*shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)
there are a lot of people I'd like to flamethrower at the moment
I think Gordon Brown is top of the list, not because of any specific act, but because he is a lying, bumbling incompetant who should fuck off.

Kaol: what had you done?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)
Oop North?
England up north, or proper up north?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)
Misspiggy's question
I don't think I can think of just one person, not when there are thousands who deserve a fiery end.

Although, thinking back to yesterday's HSH, I think I'll go for Chris Moyles.

edit: WTF Kaol?! Who the hell does he think he is?! If you have an HR department, get them to throw the book at him. Or just throw lots of books at him yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:30, Reply)
I would like to,
and indeed may well, point a flamethrower at the next person who knocks on my office door.

Kaol has made me want a coffee.

Edit: Kaol! WTF?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:30, Reply)
@warmfuzzyfeeling
There's one in Manchester, and one in York.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)
Caffeine! I love caffeine.

*twitches*

'Ningles all, how are things?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)
Interestingly,
Tabbing between two Word documents is serious enough to warrant that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:31, Reply)
People
are twats.

Hi Wookiee. Did you sniff your suits?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)
At the moment
It's that woman who drowned her kid in the bath.
That really got me off to a bad start today, reading about that.
I'd just flamethrower her arms and legs.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:33, Reply)
Ooh Kaol, that's not a good thing to do to someone
so full of coffee. He sounds like a twunt.

@mista it's only England Norf.

edit: just read your post... might be doable. Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:34, Reply)
Real problem here is that
I work for my family, and that's my uncle.
If it wasn't, I'd have twatted him. Hard.
I'm just writing an email, CC'd to HR and the Director about how unprofessional his behaviour is.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:35, Reply)
he haa a go at you for tabbing between word docs?
wtf?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:37, Reply)
Vipros
he probably did it from five feet away with a spear.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:38, Reply)
Yeah, because my
"Screen was flickering".
Which means that "I'm a liar", when I showed him exactly what I'd done.

*rolls eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:39, Reply)
I have not sniffed them yet.
Or ironed any shirts.
Or done anything useful, really.

Oh well.

Kaol - if it's your uncle, grass him up to your nan.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)
Christ on a bike
Have some sympathies.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)
what a tool
glad I don't get hassle like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:43, Reply)
Jesus, Kaol...
*hopes you get a new job soon!*

I think my flamethrower candidate would be Jamie frickin' Oliver. Or, failing that, Bono and Geldof in one big sanctimonious (sp?) bonfire...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:43, Reply)
Have some cider to make it better
I am amazed at the number of people I have come across lately who don't even know about alt-tab. Fools.

Ok, so it turns out that from my mammoth shop yesterday, I have enough meats and the like for 16 nights worth of meals. Sweet.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:44, Reply)
Well, I think it's
Fairly obvious who my flamethrower target would be...
*smiles*

*shakes head slowly*

Just got an interesting email from him.
*thinks*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:45, Reply)
Bosses
My boss is scared stiff of me - if he does something (usually spending money) he knows I won't like he doesn't come in for a few days and gets someone else to tell me. He's even more scared of his wife though.
Edit - Kaol - try randomly growling at him. People find this disconcerting.
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:45, Reply)
Working for family can suck sometimes.
I've been in tears a couple of times because of shouting matches between me and my step-dad.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)
Wookiee
Jesus man, sort yourself out. You're going to be pissed or hungover between now and Friday.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)
I don't see tears happening,
But people shouldn't make me annoyed, it's a silly thing to do.

Especially when I can admin their PC.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:49, Reply)
I wouldn't want to work for family
I don't think it would go well. Especially as there are none that do anything useful like accounts.

Having my own business would be nice though....

*dreams*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:51, Reply)
What have I missed??
Is Kaol dangerously caffinated?

Has anyone invented a B3dar for me?

Why is the sky?

Who am I?
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:52, Reply)
B3dar?
I must have missed that bit.

Explain in under 35 words. No, 33.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:55, Reply)
Kaol
is just dangerous, caffeinated or not.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:56, Reply)
I'm off now
I'll see some of you at tomorrow's bash. I'm so excited I'm doing three wees simultaneously.
(I helped save b3ta! mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 14:57, Reply)
Penguin
B3dar - Hightech bit of equipment for the detection of fellow b3tans who may be within your vicinity.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:01, Reply)
See ya, Spakka!
Dunno if I can make tomorrow night... :(

Just bought me a new camera. Exciting times!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:03, Reply)
heh
the woman from across the road just sheepishly knocked on the door.

Her: I've just realised I have no idea how jump leads work :(
Me: Awww :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:03, Reply)
TGB
that's pretty funny

did you show her how to correctly attach them to her nipples?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:05, Reply)
Nah
I was a good neighbour and showed her how to do it
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:06, Reply)
Yikes!
That would make her jump!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:07, Reply)
awww bless
a little while ago one of the french people living next door to me knocked and asked if we had a ladder they could borrow. we didn't at the time, so he asked if he could use the front of our house

he then proceeded to climb up between my house and a drainpipe like a ninja, climb round using finger tips on a narrow ledge and feet against the wall, round to the front of his house and up into his window.

got some applause from passers by

his gf was totally smokin' hot too.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:09, Reply)
hola chicos
my knees hurt today.

this is because i ninja'd in like one of lucy vanpelt's beans and slipped into a rare seat on the tube this morning. only for the portly gentleman who was also rushing for it not to see me.

he sat on me. hard.

then was unable to get up as the train was moving away. i was squished underneath him. it was like having a giant bald stinky baby on my lap. everyone was tittering into their metros but noone looked up or offered him a hand, naturally. not the london way, innit.

he glared at me in a really furious way when he finally stood up. meh. just because he looked pregnant, why should i give up the seat?!

on the plus side, i won my possession hearing in court this morning! how is everyone?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:16, Reply)
rswipe
that doesn't sound pleasant!

nice to see you here though. it's been a while since we had a chat :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)
hola senorita swipe
I love that you ninja'd like one of my beans.
That makes my day.

However your consequent booboo does not make my day :(

(by the way I made a cottage pie for dinner and have ninja'd some beans into it!)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)
@Rswipe
Yay! for being a winning solicitor.

Boo! for being a squished solicitor.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)
Hey Rach
I am so glad I can walk to work!

But yay on the case :D
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:18, Reply)
Rswipe
Congrats on winning your possession hearing!

By the way, does that mean you're now allowed to possess people? That would rock!
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)
@rswipe (do I know you well enough to call you that?)
That sounds absolutely dreadful and I am ashamed of myself for still giggling at the image (which you described beautifully) as I am writing this.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:22, Reply)
haha lab that almost resulted in coke all over my monitor :p
damn you
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)
@ swipe
Simultaneous Yays and Oh noes!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)
yay
lots of people on here today!

it was funnier than it was painful, really. but he should have given up the seat for a lady. well, a girl. ok, a woman. fine, ME.

it means i booted about 6 people out of their homes but it's not my fault their landlord didn't pay his mortgage. i wouldn't want to possess any of them, in all honesty.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)
Kaol?
You still there?
Is everyone around you still alive?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:26, Reply)
How annoyed would you be
if you paid rent and the landlord didn't use it to pay the mortgage but instead bought a boat.

*gets the fear now*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:29, Reply)
Why are people so annoying?
Don't call me then ask me to hold, because I won't.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:38, Reply)
it's a genuine concern
for AST tenants (which is the vast majority of renters these days). worst case scenario would be that you'd have to vacate on little notice, though. for instance, i allowed today's tenants 28 days to find a new home.

if you want to avoid it, the 2 things to check carefully are: (i) has the landlord got consent to the letting from his mortgagee - if the mortgagee consents, it is bound by your tenancy; if not, the tenancy is in breach of the mortgage and so the tenant is no more than a trespasser as against the mortgagee - and (ii) is your deposit being held in a proper tenant's deposit scheme.

*helps*
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:38, Reply)
I return again
Having pretty much completed my to do list for today, just need to do some more packing and that's the list done.

*relaxes*

Well done on winning 'swipe. Don't like the whole renting thing though. I would love to actually own somewhere, and be-able to do whatever modifications I wanted to it.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:42, Reply)
Afternoon, miss Swipe!
Congrats on winning your case!

Tell me... do you ever slam your papers down and shout "OB-JECTION!*"?

I hope you do.





*This comment was brought to you by DiT, who has watched way too many legal dramas...
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:43, Reply)
Thanks Rach :)
This time we have the proper deposit thing, got royally screwed in the last house though. So never use Loveitts lettings, especially the one in Leamington, as they are the biggest bunch of wankers ever. And so are Kirkdale builders.

I'd love to get a house *waits for houseprices to fall some more*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:44, Reply)
@ DIT
er, no! sometimes a barrister shuffles to his feet and whispers it though.

english court cases are nowhere near as dramatic as american ones. they are allowed to do things like whip out surprise evidence and witnesses. we have to disclose ours months before trial and are only allowed to cross examine witnesses on the contents of their statements and nothing else.

it's supposed to make for a much fairer system and encourage settlements. which it does, in all honesty. about 90% of claims settle before trial, these days.

but it takes out all the fun of it, so it does.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:48, Reply)
Rach
I see more crown court stuff, but sadly have yet to see anybody shouting "Objection!" either. In a fair few of cases that I've worked on, where I have later been told of the result (probably about 10% of the cases I've done!), the suspects usually put their hands up to the allegations, but only after their barristers have whittled down the charges.

It's all a game to some barristers.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:53, Reply)
TGB
I shall add that to my growing list of b3tan enterprises - a b3ta friendly letting agency.
So now we have pubs and letting agents.

I really need to get some money, I think I'm onto a winner here!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:54, Reply)
B3tan friendly estate agents
FTW!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:56, Reply)
@Swipe, Labia
(although not @ Swipey's Labia, that would be wrong)

Oh. How disappointing. I mean, I knew we are more restrained than the yanks, but hey ho. :(

I still reckon being a lawyer would be really interesting. I can't afford to retrain though, and I'm quite content in my job at the moment anyway! :)

EDIT: That's a fab idea, LvP!
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 15:59, Reply)
my old man was a criminal lawyer in uxbridge
almost killed him so we moved and he joined the CPS.

that was equally as shit.

don't do it kids.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:03, Reply)
Thanks
I think it's an ace idea. A whole b3tan empire stretches before us!

WOOHOO! I have a second round interview for tomorrow! Only problem is its at 9 and I'm in Wiltshire currently so it's the next viable train for me!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:13, Reply)
@ vipros
i've asked this before, but what was the firm, was it iliffes? (also known as ibb)?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:15, Reply)
@LVP
Yays!!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:19, Reply)
Nice work, LvP!
*dances*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:20, Reply)
Yays indeed!
I am super excited and pleased but also flapping slightly as I have to get back to London tonight.
Eeek!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:24, Reply)
Congratumalations LVP
Grand news that be.

I just downloaded a drumkit and guitar into my ipod. Here I come, losing even more time.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:33, Reply)
Congratulations LVP!
All the best for tomorrow :D
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:33, Reply)
OK, I'm really annoyed
Why do some people constantly refer to a young animal as a 'baby kitten' or 'baby calf' or 'baby puppy'?
The fact that it's a kitten, calf or puppy automatically suggests that it's a young animal.
Sorry to change the subject, but I've heard this about three times this week and it really grinds me.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)
Congrats LvP :)
And they probably think they are being cute OITP
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:37, Reply)
Thanks
Pod and LM. (ninja edit) and TGB
Oneinthepink, that sounds very similar to my mothers bugbear of people reducing "down" in price or reversing "back".
How else would you do these things?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:37, Reply)
300?
THIS... IS... B3TA!

EDIT: *runs around in pants*
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:39, Reply)
*backs away from DiT*
I am currently listening to the Blake Lewis album (yup the beatbox guy of american idol)

It's strangely good...
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:42, Reply)
What about
"ATM Machine"?
Idiots...
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:42, Reply)
Huh yeah
and they put their PIN numbers into them.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)
DIT
Are they Magic Pants of Invulnerability?

Throughout that whole film, not a one of them was injured in the pants.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)
Kaol
Where have you been? What's going on at work?

Oh god, not more films.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:44, Reply)
Not much
I'm just slowly de-angering :)
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:45, Reply)
I'm having a terrible day
I think i've just split up with my girlfriend because I don't know for sure whether I want to be with her, but I struggle so hard to communicate how I feel and don't want to hurt her.

I try to be everyting she wants and more but it never seems enough and don't think I can be what she wants.

I'm now and sat in work and feel awful.

I don't know why i'm posting this on here, apols for lack of humour.
(gin'll fix it, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:45, Reply)
Look to your username for the answer :)
*hugs you*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:46, Reply)
Gin
No apols needed - not everything on here is funny, including some stuff that was meant to be.
Sorry to hear about your crap day.

If you get the chance, say that second line you posted to your gf.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)
For some reason
I am unable to say the word "lamb". They are "lickle baalams".

I am otherwise a fairly normal obsessive stickler for unsentimentality, grammar, logic and common sense.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)
Didn't mean to sound all flippant and trivial, crossed posts
@gin sorry to hear that :(
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:50, Reply)
@ LVP
loads of luck!! completely forgot to message you, my friend's firm aren't taking on any new translators at the moment, but will let me know if that changes.

however, by then you will have your shiny new job and won't need them!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:51, Reply)
warmfuzz
I won't lambast you for that, but I will baste the lamb.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:54, Reply)
Ta
@Kaol - that might be the answer, doubt i'll stomach it though. Supposed to going to Utd-Villareal tonight and don't feel up to it.

@Clendrix - I've tried but she sees that as me using an excuse to get out of the relationship, she's very insecure and has always predicted this will happen regardless of my reassurances...

@wff - Don't worry about it, made me smile as I thought it was advice!
(gin'll fix it, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:55, Reply)
I'd just like to mention a bugbear of mine...
Companies that put the '@' sign wherever there is an 'a' in their name.

For example:

'Internet C@fe'. No. This now says 'Internet Catfe'. Not the same thing.

Grr.

EDIT: @Gin: *manhugs* Just try being honest, fella. I know it's hard, but it'd be a good first step and might help you communicate with her. Good luck anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:57, Reply)
Works
slightly better in GTA - 'tw@'
(gin'll fix it, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:58, Reply)
Well sounds like you just need to tell her
Don't say "it's not you it's me" whatever you do though!

Just be honest. *hugs* You will feel worse the longer you let it go on with you being unhappy

*note to self: Abort name change to: Th3 Gr@mm@r B@dg3r*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:59, Reply)
DiT
Tell them they're a bunch of tw@s.

*edit* gin beat me to it, nice work.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 16:59, Reply)
Gin
Doesn't really sound too hopeful, I must admit. There's not really much that even we wonderb3tans can do for you, except perhaps *hugs*.

Pinky - lickle baalams? Lord...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:02, Reply)
I've just googled Catfe,
And although I can't read Chinese, I fear it may actually refer to a cafe serving cat.

http://www.catfe.org/

*fears for the kittums*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:05, Reply)
Wookiee
that's not Chinese, it's Japanese.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:10, Reply)
gin...
It's hard, nay impossible, to have a relationship with a needy person. They are stuck in a self perpetuating vicious circle of insecurity and dependence on you for their self-worth, and are therefore high maintenance, which they are obviously aware of, and fear driving you away, which no matter how much of a saint you are WILL happen, and so they fear losing you even more, become even more high maintenance... ad infinitum.

I have been on both sides of this... there's no easy answer.

*solidarity hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:11, Reply)
@ Clendrix
I was judging based on the fact that IE wanted to install the "Chinese: Basic" language pack when I loaded the page.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:14, Reply)
IE
is mongtastic.

Friend just cancelled our dinner. Sudden night of freedom!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:18, Reply)
Somebody up there ^
said that the world's most annoying things are people who call you and then ask you to hold. I disagree.

The world's most annoying thing is a person who calls you and then puts you on hold without bothering to say anything at all. No, you can't monopolise my time until you are ready to talk to me. That sort of behaviour will get the phone put down on you instantly. Call me when you have time to talk, you rude fuckers.

Edit: it was wanderlust.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:19, Reply)
Eeep!
There's a hot air balloon heading for my house!
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:21, Reply)
Shoot it down, fuzzy
And claim the inhabitants as yours.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:23, Reply)
Hullo Ancrenne!
I hate that! I hate it! Especially when it's someone about Gas.

If I wanted to change my supplier, I have gumption enough to get on the 'phone and do it, and you poking your toe in my doorframe is definitely not going to change my mind, buster!

I like Jehovahs, though. It's fun to debate them! (Not en masse, though.)

Quick story:

Jehovah's witness and Child at my doorstep. DiT is hung over and in a bad mood.

*ding dong*
*opens door*

Me: Yes?
JW: Have you heard the word of Jesus?
Me: Oh, no...
JW: We have come to talk to you about the Watchtower...
Me: Sorry, but could you fuck off, please?
JY: (shocked and scandalised) Do you mind? There's a child present!
Me: Yes, and he can fuck off too. Goodbye!

*door slams*

Door to door religion. The worst kind.
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:30, Reply)
^DiT
Thank you for that marvellous end to my working day.

G'night!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:32, Reply)
Dammit
My camera was closer to hand than any of my guns.

Ah well, if they blow past again I'll be ready for them.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:33, Reply)
^
Brilliant! (Noted down for future use, yet they seem to have started avoiding me!)

My uncle is a JW... A very simple question works thusly:

Me: So, Jesus was born on 25th December, right?
UJW: Yes.
Me: And we celebrate his birth on 25th December every year right?
UJW: Yes.
Me: And he died at Easter, correct?
UJW: Yes, that's right.
Me: So why do we celebrate Easter in April some years, and May in others?
UJW: What? Er... Oh, look, I need to mow the lawn.

(I understand there is likely a simple answer to my question, but fuck it anyway!)
(I helped save b3ta! Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:37, Reply)
They fuck you up,
the Witnesses, if you are born into them.

Someone I am close to was raised as a Witness. 27 years of headfucking later he walked away and lost all his friends as they are banned from speaking to those who are dismembered, or whatever they call it.

They just get to the point where they have to continue believing they are following the Right Path, because if they didn't they'd have to admit to themselves the magnitude of their wasted lives... And so as every little new Witness is spawned, the cycle perpetuates.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:41, Reply)
jehovah's witnesses
you need a blood tranfusion

what's that? you can't have one?

fair enough, die then
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:45, Reply)
I found out
where all the Jehovah witnesses in my area lived and rang their doorbells to try and convert them to atheism*

ok just one, but I didn't get any more calls after that
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:46, Reply)
Harsh Vipros
Harsh, but true.

editses - Some came to the door once a few years ago, I answered, and they asked if my parents were home. I said no, they gave me a copy of watchtower, and just wandered off.

Children seem to be their weakness.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:46, Reply)
;-)
not been plagued by any recently

round here it's people trying to sell you kitchens.

last one who came round, we actually liked the kitchens so had them round for an appointment. little did we know that they had recently been taken over by a fucking double glazing company

two hours into the appointment and the guy hadn't started designing our kitchen. we told him we had to go out in half an hour, he designed the kitchen, got a huge discount off the extortionate price, we told him to sod off.

result, free quality kitchen design so we know what we want when we go to buy it from ikea

edit: PoD, that happened to me about 15 years ago. they came back and told my parents that I had seemed interested...I didn't even look at them, I had just taken the book and dropped it in the recycling.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 17:50, Reply)
My ex-wife was raised JW
Weird ideas about religion and a proper sack of spuds in bed. She was my first to be fair, I was maybe just shit

@DiT - I'm sure JW's believe Jesus was born in September.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:18, Reply)
December 25th is just used as other things already used it
August or September is the generally accepted date I do believe.

And yes, I know those are months, not dates.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:23, Reply)
@ boss, I think
that's just your ex wife.

The fella I'm talking about has very sensible ideas about religion (now), and is many things in bed none of which are a sack of spuds. Quite the opposite :)

He's totally normal now, apart from the underlying damage caused by the Witnesses and the resulting psychosis.
(I helped save b3ta! warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:25, Reply)
Hmm
She was also a chronic self-harmer and bulimic. She's fine now, remarried now with a six-year old apparently. Haven't seen her for years.

No hard feelings really.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:33, Reply)
Gentle poster
Come join me here for the evening.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 17 Sep 2008, 18:48, Reply)

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