Best first date ever?
Worst first date ever?

GO GO GO!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:52, 189 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Worst she got so drunk I had to answer her phone
it was one of those "ring to get out of the date" calls, so I spoke to her friend and got her to pick her up. Ended up having a spliff with her mate while she was asleep in the back of the car.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)

she must have felt pretty awkward about that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I never saw her again
Meh
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

see that could quite easily rank in my top three as good dates
I would prob really enjoy that. Bonus stranger spliff, it's always nice meeting a kindred spirit.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Surprised you didn't
"take advantage"...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

That just makes you sound like a date rapist.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

a housemate of mine
invited his new girlfriend to meet us in the house. She drank so much we all had to carry her downstairs to his room. We banged her head/arms on stuff way too often to be polite
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Loch Lomond
I've got a fairly good one for a first date.

I got together with a friend years ago and she invited me to a party. "Where?" says I. "Loch Lomond, tomorrow". "oh, OK!"

We jumped in the car and drove up there (4 hours from NE England) and arrived at a pub on the shore where a load of her friends were (she is Scottish) and after a few (many) beers, a boat turned up to take us over to an island right in the middle!

On arrival at the island (about 50 metres by 20), disco biscuits were handed out and bins full of beers were pointed out. A full DJ deck was setup and an all night party was had!

Next morning, boat turned up to take us back to shore. Kip in the car, then drive back home - excellent!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

is that a date or a party?
any sexy shennanigans?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Not much that night!
plenty afterwards though!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I hope you tidied up...
Because they have now have a blanket ban on any camping, anywhere, in the Loch Lomond national park. All down to idiots having full on raves and parties and then leaving piles of shit, rubbish, single whites socks and packets of unopened super noodles all over the shot.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)

We did indeed
the next morning. It was all arranged by the local fishermen
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)

It was exciting!
I drove over to hers, all anxious and nervous, a million worries in my head. Should I hold her hand, or would that be too forward? Will she want to go for a full night out, finishing on the dancefloor (this thought scared me, I hate dancing!)? Is my hair alright?

I'd spent ages on getting ready too, and I know it sounds a bit gay, but I tried on a whole bunch of clothes before settling on what I was wearing, but my paranoia still meant I wasn't sure if I'd made a good choice.

Then I saw her, and she smiled so perfectly I just melted inside. The whole night I kept sneaking looks at her, thinking how she's just so much better than me, that she's so far out of my league. I wanted to take her somewhere quieter, so I could selfishly be the only one in her presence.

She was absolutely perfect, I couldn't and didn't want to think of her being flawed in any way possible. I was going crazy thinking of our first kiss, but knew that I probably wouldn't get one that night.

I just wanted that night to last forever. Forever and ever, let's make this last forever.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

GAAAAAAAAAY

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

:(

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Oh come on it's B3ta

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:09, Reply)

But I have a shameful love of Blink 182

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

ha
I totally didn't get that and fully believed you are that gay
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Oh come ON
I repeated the last line for extra emphasis!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

You repeat a lot of things

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I got it
but I couldn't think of a retort that wasn't just a smug "I get this joke"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

How about
"Well done"?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

it always sounds sarcastic when I say it
like "you look nice today".
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

You've never told me I look nice
But thanks for inferring you like my joke.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

You look nice today.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Sarcastic bitch

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I had no idea it was a joke
just goes to show how gay I think Labs is capable of acting
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

See above

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Brilliant.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I thought it was a joke, but was a Maddie joke or something like that
then the last line stirred my memory. I recognised the last line, and ntohing else.

...well done?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

As soon as I saw the question
I had that song loop in my head, and a big grin on my face.
Blink 182 make me happy!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

My flatmate gets drunk and tries to put the movies on.
I'm not entirely amused. Though he does have The Suburbs (new Arcade Fire album) on repeat, which I totally dig more.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

it's so good isn't it
I am alternating between that and LCD soundsystem. So much good music at the moment am spoilt for choice.

is it spoilt or spoiled?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I honestly don't know about the grammar- I think one is a participle, one is a verb- but I'm not that hot on English grammar.
But Sprawl II is OH MY GOD AMAZING. I fucking love Regine.
Tickets for their tour go on sale tomorrow :D
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

tour?
what country? I may be interested

edit - i am interested if in UK
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Manchester, Birmingham, Cardiff, London
from the looks of it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Cardiff is close. Good shout Lamps
thanks for the heads up.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I'm going to Cardiff to see Monster Magnet in Novemer
FUCK YEAH!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

fancy Arcade fire?
edit or not heavy enough for you?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)

too middle of the road
I don't just like heavy music, I like interesting music, and there are far too many bands around that all sound basically the same.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:09, Reply)

spoiled is the past tense verb,
so you would say food had been spoiled, but its current state is spoilt. Like spilled and spilt, the milk has been spilled, it is now spilt.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Cheers Miss

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

knowing about grammer is hot

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)

but speling wins

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)

Being able to spell "grammar" is hotter.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

would you believe me if I said that was a joke?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

No

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

didn't think so
it was more of a typo than a spelling mistake
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

That I'll believe

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I pulled my glasses down slightly as I explained it
and undid my hair from its bun, whilst sitting on the corner of the desk.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Is that last line from Venga Bus ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

The guy I was with was such a nightmare that I texted my friend to get her to call me
but she didn't get the message for ages so I got really drunk instead. When she eventually did ring, I was so drunk that the bloke I was with picked it up! It was so embarrassing. Then he tried to hit on my mate when she came to collect me, it was awful.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 10:59, Reply)

-
hitonmymate smoked a joint with my mate whilst I passed out in the back seat
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)

that was indeed the joke
well done.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)

damnit.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Basically 80% of what kitty says is about me.
It's actually quite scary.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Of course, all the hostility covers up a core of aching desire for you.
Don't take it too badly.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

it's true
I want to push you in the mud and put spiders down your top.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:13, Reply)

True love!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I wish I hadn't said that bit about spiders
now I'm all itchy
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

An old man in England thinks he found a funnel web
in has garage. Fuck that, I do not want scary spiders here.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)

You think we like having them here?
I'm in constant fear of them. On Sunday I got out of the shower and reached for my towel, only to see a fuck-off huge huntsman on it. I screamed. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)

You poor poor cow
I would have a heart attack. When my friends were camping in Oz there were three of them in a tent and mike opened it in the morning to be greeted by a huge huntsman just dangling in his face. There are photos on his fb page. Big nasty horrible fucking things.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Didn't have a heart attack but I did step back so fast I fell back into the shower and cracked my head on the tap.
my life is one long slapstick comedy show.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:48, Reply)

you're officially being given my second
'Awwwwwwwwww'

of the day.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I feel honoured. :)

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I don't really date.
Probably most spectacular was the one with my best boyfriend to date - I went over to his house in the middle of the country, with lots of greenery and trees, it was lovely. He asked me out with gun in hand, then we shared our first kiss in front of an open fire.

Worst first date? I've no idea what have been dates or not.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Gun in hand?
That's not a date, that's SURPRISE BUMSEX.
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

What we'd do is
get an empty bottle, fill half with petrol, splash some around the bottle, light the outside, and SHOOT.

Boom. I loved that boy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Suh-weeeeet!
How'd you meet him?
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

He was the childhood friend of a friend at the time
we were introduced, we went on a couple of "meet up thingies" before he invited me over and out, as it were.

Christ, this is getting on for about 5 years ago :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

What's a 14 year old doing with a gun?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

The countryside :D
Don't worry, he was 15 by this point.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

He's Raoul Moat isn't he?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:35, Reply)

When I was little we were on holiday
and in the outdoor pool me and my little sister spotted a little brown blob at the bottom of the deep end. We assumed that it was probably poop, and both of us tried in vain to swim to the deepest part of the pool to get a closer look, because we wouldn't want to be swimming in a pool with muck in it.
We were both too small to reach though, and eventually an arab man came over to help us; he dived in, went straight to the bottom of the pool, picked up the brown thing, looked at it, dropped it and came back to the surface.
Turns out it was a date, but I don't know why he left it at the bottom of the pool.
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Best date - 25th of December. Because I love overindulgence
Worst date - 31st of December, as I hate the false cameraderie that folk have.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

^office lol

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

probably the only date I've been on
went to meet a girl from the uni surf club at a pub for a few drinks. I got unbelievably stoned beforehand (seemed like a good idea at the time) and when I met her at the pub she'd randomly bumped into an old school friend and decided to bring her along so they could catch up.

The school friend was a fairly enthusiastic lesbian (her partner was called Fire, she seemed to very much enjoy telling me, repeatedly) and was also incredibly hot.

In a stoned stupor I sipped a pint while listening and watching the two girls having a conversation and daydreaming about them suggesting a threesome. Unfortunately that didn't happen and we all went our separate ways after an hour or so.

Never saw the girl again, which is a shame as she had possibly the nicest smile I've ever seen and was otherwise pretty hot and a good laugh.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

she had her muff licked by a lady that night I reckon

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I don't reckon so
the lesbian was well into her partner
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

They had a threesome

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I'd have liked to have seen that
but I don't think so. Partly because "Fire" wasn't in the city at the time
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Keep your facts out of this
You're ruining a perfectly good fantasy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

you're not allowed to have that fantasy
because it detracts from my fantasy of having a threesome with them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

But I'm bored of porn
And you've just made my fantasy naughtier, by not allowing me to have it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)

In mine and Labs fantasy
you were told by them to go and wait in the bathroom of the hotel room. So you sat there alone on the toilet for about two hours and when they were finished they left without telling you.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

This is perfect.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

it wasn't perfect WHEN IT WAS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!
*sobs*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

but they had a delightful
soap handwash
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

He stole the shower cap too
he uses it to keep his beard dry.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

will you stop spoiling my sexy day dream!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Best first date: posh hotel room, Chinese takeaway, Jurassic Park on TV.

Worst first date: I didn't know about it. Supposed to go to the theatre with a bunch of people who all dropped out so it was only me and another guy. At the end of the night he made a move on me and asked if I wanted to do it again sometime. I had no idea we were on a date.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Is the second one Catface?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I thought that and hoped so

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Catface at the theatre?
Why, there's more culture in a yoghurt.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Oh I'm a mong, I meant the first one with the Chinese food

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Yeah see I was being mean

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Oh yeah, that was him.
In my memory it's all hawt sex and dinosaurs and I leave out the bit where we got stuck at the magic roundabout in Hemel Hempstead and the bit where he had to spend about 3 hours deciding what to eat as he doesn't like spicy food, creamy food or tomatoes, and shellfish gives him slow anaphylactic shock.

Oh shit that was actually our second date - our first date was a hotel room furnished by Kaol and a bottle of Smirnoff and 2 litres of Dr Pepper and a bumper pack of party rings.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Aww
I love times like that.
We were supposed to be meeting people at the pub once, but instead we watched a Beavis & Butthead box set, had cake and fine wine, and had a duvet on the sofa.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

I just got the entire Beavis and Butthead collection for £20
fucking bargain!!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)

GET IN
Edit, my fave episode is 'Incognito' and I don't think it's on any DVDs. Can you check please?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)

yeah I'll have a ganders later.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Lord...
Worst first: I realised that I'd had beer goggles on when I'd given him my number.
He was an acquaintance of an acquaintance and we'd all had a nice chat in the pub and I'd given him my number. We went on a 'date', he had a well broken nose - definitely from fighting - and a 'Shameless' accent. He went on all night about massive drugs, his criminal family members and how much he wanted to 'come home with me'. So I took him to our local rock club, danced all over the place, and fled very quickly from the taxi like Pepe le Pew's cat friend.

Best first (technically second): I was dressed as St. Jude, he was Cory from Slipknot and I knew already that he was my boyfriend and we were going to have a boss adventure together.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

awww

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

massive awwwww

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Good job he wasn't dressed
As the bassist from Slipknot.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Slipknot are the only 'metal' band I have left on my ipod.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

you are a spastic
metal is the business
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

I loved it growing up
then started playing the drums at 16 and found all this new music I didn't know existed and all the bands I've been in have led me more down the electronica route really. I will still listen to metal but just don't love it anymore.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

It's not like vampires where if you kill the head vampire
all the other ones die too
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Vampires don't act like that anyway
That's more attributed to werewolves.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

oooh sorry
FANBOY LOSER.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Ignoramus

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I'm going to tell Clendrix you said mean things about her
she's gonna hunt you down and cause you pain.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Why would you say lies in order to hurt me?
Oh, I get it, you just want to hurt me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Yep
I'm looking forward to making you scared over the next few days while Clenders is away.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

You've just ruined it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Really?
I thought it was aliens of the bodysnatcher variety.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

he's the dead one?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Bingo

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

That makes no sense
I went as St Jude. He's WELL dead, dude.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Awww man, I was totally on your second date!
I probably shouldn't have hit on your boyfriend should I.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

You could redeem yourself by not taking the Rohypnol along tonight

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

But he doesn't like me unless he's had his special drink

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

He does
He's just a little more 'friendly' when he's had soem of your roofies or Jesus Juice or whatever it is you ply him with to make him call out your name in his disturbed dreams.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I'm going to lure him into the toilets.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Please wear a condom
We're trying for a baby
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

best first date ever
sitting in a nice intimate bar that serves really icy vodka in the evening sunshine at one of those tiny little tables where your knees keep bumping. amazing conversation, you know the kind where you just "get" each other and the sexual tension is hot enough to make smoke curl up from the vodka. then strolling hand in hand to admire the sunset from waterloo bridge before deciding fuck the view and kissing so hard that there's nothing else left to do but collapse into a taxi and mortify the driver the whole way home.

worst part - never happened yet. but you never know your luck, keep buying the lottery tickets, i suppose...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:15, Reply)

You see what happens when you refuse to come and meet me? You don't get your wish
and now it's too late.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

you were already engaged
this could not have ended well for me. it was all about the self-preservation.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Weatherspoons on steak night and a grope in the taxi,
that's my final offer.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:41, Reply)

and this is why
i will never go out with you, not even if you pay me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:19, Reply)

done.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)

kitty noooooooooooooooooo
you can do so much better!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I had a "get out of date" call prepared that went wrong
Girl I had met volunteering - we met up for a drink, having primed my mate to call me about an hour or so after the start. You know when you receive a call and someone near you can hear what is being said to you?

My mate yelled "get off her" followed by "don't try doing her up the arse on a first date".

I didn't see her again.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

So what makes a 'good' first date activity?
Pub? Cinema? Dinner? Band?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Cinema's no good really
You're just sat there not talking.
Pub, dinner, band are all ok. Unless you RUIN the gig by cramping her style and putting your arms all round her and your chin on top of her head while she's trying to ENJOY THE GIG.

One of my worst, but it was a THIRD date, so does not apply.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:27, Reply)

museum is pretty good
that's my best. But I've only had 2 first dates ever
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Museum for a date?
I suppose you could impress the other party at the end of the date by buying them a postcard or a novelty pencil from the gift shop. That would should just how serious you were about them.

I really don't see a museum working as a first-date venue. Unless you hope to pull a coachload of kids on a school trip.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

nah, it's cool
you can wander round having a nice chat and looking at interesting stuff, then go out for a brew later. It avoids the awkwardness of a pub or the noisiness of a club. Also, if it's crap, you still have the evening free
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I'll add it to the list of potential first-date venues.
All I need now, is a woman to take out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I took my other arf to the National Gallery on our first date.
We are still together.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I would love that as a first date
I have yet to get Wiggy in an art gallery.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Depends on the person,
dinner is good if it's a nice place.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I reckon dinner is to omuch pressure
theatre is probably the best option, followed by coffee or a drink, then you have something to talk about.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

That's because you eat with your hands
off the floor.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

'Coffee'? right after the theatre?
You're smooth...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

He brings his own frapay, if you know what I mean, WINK.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

No need to aaaarsk...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

It's just there is very little 'escape' if it's all going wrong.
And what if your date insists on having a starter AND desert.

I'd feel obliged to join them, but I don't usually eat that much. Oh god. It could be horrible..... Right, i'm going for a lie down.

This is all too much.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I reckon going somewhere interesting, somewhere like a good market would be great.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:33, Reply)

That is a good idea.
I could stroll around the streets of Bristol or Bath, take in the sights, have a coffee or an ice-cream, sit in a park and talk.

Pressure free. Best suggestion yet.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

You'd have to find a good market though.
A walk round St. Nicholas' Market would mean 15 minutes of shit novelty candle stalls and a couple of hemp clothing outlets.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I love St Nicks market
especially the Jamaican food stall!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Pieminister.
Om nom nom.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Pub, if you hope to get laid.
Pub lunch if you want to take it slow and don't trust yourself to not get hammered and shag them.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

And _this_, _this_ right here, is the differance between a bloke and a girl.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Sorry, I can't see the difference.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I haven't dated a great deal
but the worst one was probably when I didn't even realise we WERE dating. And at the end of the evening he tried to dry hump my leg.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

You should've rolled up a newspaper
and given him firm tap on the snout.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

I did the verbal equivalent
a few days later. He was actually terrifyingly not sane.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I know the feeling. My friend's labradour had a torrid tryst with my left leg for months. Never even bought it dinner or owt.

(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)

No, this was a real human male
he was just not at all well in the head.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

There I was at the Rap Olympics, having just made the semi finals of the rap world cup last week.
I was up against my mortal enemy, "Bobby B Bob", we were facing each other, he won the coin toss and chose to go first. He dissed my gran and my George shirt, I didn't know what to do, I don't really know this guy _that_ well, so I talked smack about his family and friends. It went to Round Three (it works like Street Fighter, apparently), and it was almost a draw, but I won. While I was going through to the semis and finals, I saw him pulling the girl of my dreams, I bought her along as a first date, so she could see me in my natural element; the battle fields of the rap olympics. I was like "Dayum dawg, that's my gurl dawg, get off my gurl dawg", and he goes "Daaaaym dawg, I didn't know this was your girl dawg, sorry Rabbit, my bad".

I ended up winning the rap olympics, but I lost the date.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:32, Reply)

i am interested in the rights to this story
to make a film

It is both happy and tragic
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Worst first date - He was a psychiatric nurse but to be honest he could have been one of the patients. We went to a posh hotel bar and drank expensive wine. He had been a journalist before he did the nursing stuff so he kept questioning me about writing. Then he told me that being with me was like a slap in the face. I didn't return his calls.

Best first date - you already know - the story has been retold soooo many times. Tate Modern, pub, chat, chat, chat, missed train, hotel room.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:34, Reply)

All psychiatric nurses could be patients
You don't make a cake without getting covered in flour...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Yeah, one of my mates is a theatre sister at a local hospital
she said when she did her psych rotation in training that the staff and patients were indistinguishable - especially as they don't wear uniform.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)

That is most troubling
There could be millions of 'em roaming about while the staff jibber away in their padded cells, unable to convince anybody of the truth.
The more I think about people I know, the more this seems plausible.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I've been to visit someone on
a nut ward - I really didn't know who was an inmate, a jailer or a visitor
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I hope you didn't use those terms in front of the nut you were visiting

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)

um no
but I had to tell my brother not to wear his "out of my tree" t-shirt
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)

Did you see that programme on BBC the other night called 'Madness on the motorway'?
All about Swedish twin sisters who ran across the M6 two years ago then a couple of days later one of them stabbed some man. Both of them were temporarily insane. The one who did the stabbing seemed a bit odd but sane.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

I think a friend of mine has that 'folie a deux' with her mum
My other friend's dad (a psychiatric something or other)explained it to us ages ago and it all made sense. If you didn't know her, you'd think she was schizophrenic, but it's just that growing up with her mum, she's come to accept that demons and hearing voices and ghosts being able to physically harm you is all 'normal'.

And yes, that documentary was crazeh.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

It made me really sad for the family of that guy

(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Me too
I was cross for them. If only they'd kept her in.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Never really been on dates as such
Did cop off with a girl once who kissed like that picture of CthulhuChomp, though. She was up for going further, whereas I had never been less turned on in my life (including the time I accidentally slammed the cupboard-under-the-stairs door shut on my knackers). Truly, truly abysmal.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I too have experienced this
it's like having your tongue caught in an industrial hoover whilst the rest of your face is going through a car wash.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:41, Reply)

It felt like she'd stuck her tongue in, left it there
and was somehow dribbling over my jaw at the same time.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:42, Reply)

When I finally managed to extricate myself
I realised he had actually left a thin layer of enthusiastic spittle down to my chin and up to my cheekbone on one side. *bokes* never again.
(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)

This thread is making me sick.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Imagine how I felt!

(berk, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I was in this position for about ten/fifteen minutes
before I realised it really wasn't going to get any better unless I tried to re-teach her from the ground up.

It's a shame, as she was really, really hot.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

A girl at school
earned the nickname 'Slug' for this reason.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I have never dated. Ever.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

you just refuse to leave their house.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:51, Reply)

It's a battle of attrition for me.
Get in, bed down, refuse to leave, await six months for romance to blossom.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Back at school, I asked girl out who I didn't really know all that well.
This was hugely out of character for me, but she just seemed really sweet and demure. Two of my friends were so taken aback that they actually did that thing of turning up across the road from the designated meeting place brandishing newspapers with view holes cut into them.
Sadly for them we'd had to put the date back by 24 hours due to me having an exam.
(Cave Duck, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 12:00, Reply)