Long thread is too shit.
If I were to assemble a crack squad of Internet Experts to come to 'Montstock 2: The Tayyabening', who, if anyone, might be interested?

Obviously this doesn't apply to Northern Scum, Carrot Crunchers or any other embarrassing and uncultured 'regional variations'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:38, 213 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I just feel like starting another thread only for the northerners
But it's almost home time, and not many people will reply, and then you'll make fun of me. So no.

I'll be living in the South soon and I go there almost every weekend, I could be tempted.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:40, Reply)

No foreigns allowed, either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Really, you're going to get all racist now?
Because I'm European and marrying an Englishman, sir, so you'll find out I have the same rights as you do.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Those being "none" ?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

the right to "please god remain silent"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

And I don't like you either.

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:04, Reply)

I don't like you anymore

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:04, Reply)

That wasn't having a pop at you
simply suggesting that no-one has any rights any more.

Edit - also, "any more" ? that implies you liked me in the first place...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:08, Reply)

Maybe...
I'm not saying...
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:13, Reply)

THE AZTECS HAD RIGHTS TOO, YOU MURDERER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

So did the Indians
Both in North America and India and New Zealand... At least we left some Aztecs alive to complain, you erradicated a whole race. I hope you're proud.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

If you mean 'native Americans'
they were comprised of entirely different racial groups - many of which are alive and thriving today. By calling them 'Indians' and failing to recognise their racial diversity you are showing yourself to be A MASSIVE RACIST.

And to my knowledge the population of the Indian subcontinent is not exactly struggling to survive.

And again the Maoris of New Zealand are in fine fettle. They are also not even indigenous to NZ, having been there no longer than Europeans have been in the Americas. They're Polynesian.

YOU IGNORANT RACIST.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:11, Reply)

Yes, you did very well
And only erradicated ONE whole race (that's what I said above, can't you read?)

The Aztecs where as well divided in different tribes and ethnic groups. If you're going to correct me, get properly informed first.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:16, Reply)

The Aztecs were a single racial group
comprised of different tribes. There is some debate as to whether the ruling class were of a different racial group (the same theory has been propounded about the Druidic culture of Celtic Western Europe) - but there is no concrete evidence to support this at this stage.

Do go on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Read below
And I could correct a few more things else from your first post in this discussion as well, but it's ok. I'm a murderer and a racist, and you're all gold and shiny.

We say in Spain: How happy is the one who lives in ignorance! I presume you're very happy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:34, Reply)

We say in England
'when you can't tell when you're being light-heartedly teased, and instead flare up and get defensive, that must mean that you're a MASSIVE RACIST'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:40, Reply)

You, sir
failed first on that same sentence you mention, and therefore, are just like Hitler.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:42, Reply)

I certainly am.
Not like that Franco chappie - he was a great deal more successful at being an autocratic fascist dictator than Uncle Adolf...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:46, Reply)

I'm not so sure about that
Hitler did prety well. Franco only managed to kill Spanish while Hitler killed people from all over the world.

Both are examples to be followed, though. Great guys.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:48, Reply)

FINALLY something we agree on.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)

It was hard
But it was worth it.

Can I go to the dinner with the proper English people now, please? Can I?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:57, Reply)

OK, you've passed the baptism of fire.
Crow likes you, you must be alright. I'll overlook the massive racism.

The waiters and chefs are Pakistanis, though. Are you alright with them handling your food?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Did you have to edit yourself because you were wrong the first time?
I think you'll find out that you're wrong again. The Maori were living in NZ before Europeans and you managed to almost exterminate them. They're doing better now, but not thanks to you.

www.virtualoceania.net/newzealand/culture/maori/

Anyway, you only want to fight and I'm tired and bored of correcting you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:19, Reply)

' It is believed
that the Maori migrated from Polynesia in canoes around the 9th century to 13th century AD' - so, roughly contemporaneous with Leif Erickson, then.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Ay
Should I explain the meaning of indigenous and a few other things or should I just leave you alone?

I'll leave you alone. I prefer to be called racist than discuss with ignorants.

Enjoy your eve.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:31, Reply)

We should bloody well
do some eradication much closer to home.

*narrows eyes*
( Kroney, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Hahaha
The world would be much better for sure.

*buys a ticket on the internet and runs back home*
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:32, Reply)

'Bored with', you mean?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:32, Reply)

Is it?
I never know with the prepositions. Shouldn't it be of? Don't you say I'm bored of listening to you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Bored with - never 'of'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Really?
I've always been saying I'm bored of things. Thanks for the correction, I'll try to do it right now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:43, Reply)

Did you get your telly sorted?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

fucking cliquey wankers

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Can I ruin another b3tan's reputation?
I'll even eat meat, this time.

if you want me
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:41, Reply)

You shall be guest of honour, young Slugger.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Oh, you're too kind.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I'd be interested
if you were issuing invitations to horrible students
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:42, Reply)

You'd be more than welcome.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

excellent
let me know if it goes ahead
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

The words
'Table for One' spring to mind.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Well, I suppose when you say something that frequently
it probably just pops in there, eh Jeff?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

*Oooh, you bitch!*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Depends
when / where / if I'm invited, I suppose...
(TheImmortalJenkins, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Go on then, Hashdance.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Are you Bert?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:50, Reply)

That would be great.
A cracking dinner, with savage ultraviolence after the cognac and cigar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Sounds like a night out in Boreditch to me :D

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Innit blud.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:28, Reply)

oh man
each time one of these things gets suggested it gets more tempting.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Then in the immortal words of Milton
stop being a bumder and come to one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:09, Reply)

I am assuming this is something to do with That London (TM)
in which case I fear I'm about 400 miles too north for you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Are you sure they won't pretend to be closed again?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I'll book it this time. We'll get the VIP Room*


*sweaty cupboard with two switched-off plasma screens for decoration
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Oh boy oh boy that sounds perfect. I've always wanted to watch you get stuffed full of meat immediately before coming out of the closet.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Is that a movie?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

If you've got a camcorder, I'm sure it could be.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

*clicks*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

It's POTD, even if it is at my expense.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:05, Reply)

*takes bow*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Will there be drugs?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

A veritable cornucopia of stimulants, sedatives and euphorics
will be freely distributed by midgets in togas and laurel wreaths, throughout proceedings.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Drugs and midgets!
I am SO there.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Sold!

(berk, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Don't you dare try and palm me off with any MR stuff.
And if anything is mixed with paracetimol, I'd be gutted, I'll make up my own ratios thank-you-very-much.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:09, Reply)

well
as a vegetarian northerner, i am wholly excluded!

and sulking.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:51, Reply)

You have seen the error of your ways and moved south, so you're in.
They also do a wide selection of delicious vegetarian food.

Apparently.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

this is not effusive enough
to stop me pouting
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Should you spurn me
I shall deem my existence meaningless. Without your beauty, grace and shining wit at my table, the night will be nothing but a bland and tedious ordeal...ending with a shotgun blast to the head, as I sit, weeping over your photograph, in the loneliest tower of my chateau.

How's that?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:01, Reply)

hang on, let me stand up and test my knees
yes, they are a bit weak. well done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:05, Reply)

delicious murderous
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Oh god that paneer tikka
yumyumyum thank you (I think it was) Al for suggesting that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Actually yeah, that was bloodly lovely.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I fucking love paneer.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Has to be better than those bloody awful lamb chops

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:02, Reply)

You better come

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

oh hello stranger

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Hello kitten
Come in your pants.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:57, Reply)

*To Tayabs, not immediately.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

i am glad you clarified this
even if does mean i have to wear pants
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Damn shame
I'm sure it'd "spice" up the evening.

They don't have Belvedere Vodka though, sorry.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

snow leopard?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Don't own a Mac
sorry.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:08, Reply)

haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)

*shakes head*

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:54, Reply)

*shakes cock*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:55, Reply)

what what
in the butt
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Score!
Do you have a condom?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Now I'm a city boy, it'll be easy to get to but can you pick somewhere that won't murder me with spice.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:56, Reply)

You'd better come.
If you stick to the grilled stuff you'll be fine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Cool, I'll probably be there.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:58, Reply)

fuck you and the donkey you rode in on.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Ha
Northerners and their donkeys. Monters has a horse, pleb.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I'm a southerner
I'm undercover.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I don't believe you

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:04, Reply)

yeah, let's have our own meal
with blackjack and hookers.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Will there be midgets and drugs?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:01, Reply)

always

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Will there bollocks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:03, Reply)

actually, forget the blackjack

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:02, Reply)

*high fives*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:06, Reply)

donkey messerschmitt
rode flew
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Northerners are far superior nonetheless

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah
Superior at pigeon racing perhaps.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:09, Reply)

contender for POTD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:18, Reply)

lol

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:10, Reply)

He's a card innee, Bal?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:16, Reply)

The berkshire hunt is having a turkish, certainly.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I'll come if it fits in with me being back home
And if I can explain why the three albums Bowie made in Berlin are actually quite good.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:09, Reply)

You won't be able to do that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Station To Station is alright n'all.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:23, Reply)

You are a card.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Yeah I was laying out bait by mentioning Station to Station. Low is a very good record though.
*wanders off whistling Sound and Vision*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:49, Reply)

Fuck off you Scottish cunt.
That's a no btw purely on economic grounds.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:14, Reply)

I'd be interested
Making the bold assumption that by "Carrot" you didn't mean "Cock."

It would be appreciated if some sort of water wheel arrangement could be used to bring the dry meat to my mouth, as I predict that by next week my wrists will be limper than the plot of a Michael Bay film.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:27, Reply)

Knob jokes!
Huzzah. Normal service has been resumed. None of that inter-lecctual stuff about Aztecs and Polytechnics from earlier, thank you very much.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:33, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:47, Reply)

If I am welcome I will attend.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:34, Reply)

You'd better. Have you ever been there?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:38, Reply)

No but I have just had a look at their website and am "well up for it" as I believe the kids say.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:39, Reply)

Does this Tayyab place
do egg and chips?
( Kroney, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:39, Reply)

philistine

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:40, Reply)

The word in this case is 'schweinhund', I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:43, Reply)

How rude

( Kroney, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:45, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:42, Reply)

My dad once cracked eggs into curry as it was cooking.
Surprisingly nice.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:43, Reply)

Egg curry is great.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:44, Reply)

I need to get back on the egg wagon.
Boiled eggs are excellent.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:44, Reply)

I like egg fried rice
And French Toast.

Or, you know, eggy bread as us Midlanders call it...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:45, Reply)

OWWROIGHT OZZAY?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:47, Reply)

Kipper tie?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:48, Reply)

Worst joke in history.
Demonstrable fact.
( Kroney, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

No fucking WAAY, man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Brummois
are not to be laughed at, but destroyed.
( Kroney, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:52, Reply)

I have only recently been introduced to this joke and it has yet to wear off.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:52, Reply)

It is my all-time favourite.
Apart from

'Who started the Pedants' Revolt?'

'Which Tyler'

This is the most smartarse joke I have ever heard.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:54, Reply)

I think you told me the Noddy Holder one.
My favourite one is the altar boys one I posted a few weeks ago
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:56, Reply)

It was indeed me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:03, Reply)

I think you can't beat this:
Brevity is... wit.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:56, Reply)

I think Michael McIntyre should be forced to start every show with that.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:58, Reply)

forced to start every show with that stabbed to death.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:59, Reply)

Provided it gets on Youtube I'm happy.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:00, Reply)

I think he should be forced to start every show
With being beaten to death by brooms. I'm not a fan...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:00, Reply)

He's a fucking cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:02, Reply)

I think it is important that he learns he is not funny before death.
No point in him thinking he is dying a martyrs death.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:02, Reply)

I don't get it

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:57, Reply)

There is slightly more to it than the punchline alone.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:02, Reply)

So tell me.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:05, Reply)

It's set in 1974:
Noddy Holder of Slade is shopping in a trendy boutique. He tries on a pair of gold lame loon pants, and is admiring them in the mirror when the assistant asks if he'd like to try on a silver shirt too, which he does, and that looks fantastic too.

The outfit's really taking shape. Then the assistant says "would sir like a kipper tie?"

"Not 'alf, I'm parched. Milk and two sugars, please"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:08, Reply)

Pfft.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:09, Reply)

Egg fried rice with Spam is tasty.
Eggs florentine/benedict is lush too.

I like eggs.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:48, Reply)

Have you had duck eggs? Delicious. I want to try gulls eggs - apparently they are extremely good.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:48, Reply)

Noo, I've only ever had normal chicken eggs.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:50, Reply)

You must try duck eggs.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:00, Reply)

Slightly stronger/richer flavour aren't they?
I like 'em.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:01, Reply)

Great poached on crusty white toast with a little freshly ground black pepper to cut through the richness.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:02, Reply)

+to
That's where Prescott went wrong.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:02, Reply)

I had those 'love eggs' once, I came across them at an ex's.
They taste of fish and are frightfully chewy.

Avoid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

I see this is dirty.
What are those things?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)

You may also know them as 'Ben Wa Balls'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:58, Reply)

I just googled them.
Sounds...entertaining.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:00, Reply)

They're well lush, I get them whenever I see them, waitrose does 'em.
I'd probably be able to pick them up at Smithfields.

My ma' is a great cook, but the best meal she can possibly make me is home made egg'n'chips.
- Cut up some potatoes into chips, into water
- cut up an onion into rings
- fry up the potatos for about 30 mins
- Add the onions and keep on at it until they are all golden brown
- Drain the onions and chips on some kitchen paper
- Basiclly poach the duck eggs in the oil 'till it's got crispy edges and runny yolks.
-plonk the eggs on top of the mound of chips.

Oh god oh god oh god, there isn't such a thing as a better meal than that. I'd rather have that, than have Gordon Ramsey cook me foi gras and lobster.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:06, Reply)

Pizza Express
put eggs on pizza. I consider that wrong, but pineapple acceptable. What a strange duck am I.
( Kroney, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:46, Reply)

Ooh I've made a delicous pizza like that
spinach, egg, a little bit of tomato and peccorino. Loooovely.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:48, Reply)

Needs more meat.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:48, Reply)

I was a vegilesbian for 18 years.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:53, Reply)

Sorry to hear that.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:54, Reply)

I occasionally eat meat now.
I'm getting better.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)

Meat makes you strong.

So perhaps you should avoid it.

*cowers*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:56, Reply)

I'll feast on you yet, Boycie.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:58, Reply)

Persevere. It is worth it.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:56, Reply)

The one thing I cannot countenance on a pizza is onion, for some reason.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:49, Reply)

Urrrrgh onion. I hate onion.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Surely you should hate garlic.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

I loooooove garlic so much.
-shrivels into dust-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:53, Reply)

Careful, Monty will snort you.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:54, Reply)

I want to be inside him,

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:56, Reply)

The feeling's mutual.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:57, Reply)

I accidently washed myself off my chair, my gush was so powerful

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:58, Reply)

I have that effect.
It's a burden, sometimes, if I am honest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:59, Reply)

Hey, at least the floor is cleaner.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:01, Reply)

Good pressure wash never did any harm.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:07, Reply)

I enjoy lying back, thinking of you
and seeing how many cans I can knock over.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:09, Reply)

this is awful :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:13, Reply)

You too, eh?
I am sorry. I don't choose to be this attractive you know...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:21, Reply)

And I didn't choose
to be this charming and wonderful. We all have our crosses to bear
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:24, Reply)

*high fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:24, Reply)

oxford council
has dropped my parking fine after much ranting and grumbling on my part... hoorah!

i may still be gloating about this tomorrow.

have a great night all
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:25, Reply)

Congratulations
I've never known of anyone successfully appealing a ticket.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:27, Reply)

excellent news
have a good evening
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:28, Reply)

How is your cold now?
Feeling better?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:29, Reply)

much better now thanks
still got a really sore throat though. Think I was shouting last night
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:36, Reply)

Shouting in a singing badly kinda way
Or shouting at people in a 'gerroff my land! kinda way?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:38, Reply)

in a bad singing way
also insulting lesbians
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:56, Reply)

What is the best song to sing at lesbians you want to insult?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:01, Reply)

No idea
I just annoy them by being pedantic and anti-labelling.

I should clarify, these weren't just strangers I met and abused, I have met them before
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:05, Reply)

This
www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5U-YT-mRmI

but obviously change the lyrics so that it's 'your vagina' not 'my vagina'.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)

One of my favourite songs
I even bought the album, it's pretty good.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:25, Reply)

It's a real earworm
I keep catching myself whistling it.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:32, Reply)

Wise to avoid singing the lyrics out loud though

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:59, Reply)

And the reason
is homosexuality.
( Kroney, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Another POTD contender!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:55, Reply)

I'd come if fat cunts are allowed.
Please let me come, I'll let you taunt me.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:46, Reply)

Sure, I'll just tell them in advance
so they can get a reinforced chair ordered in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:50, Reply)

You're a star.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Also Curry World in Lee Green is better than Tayyab's.
Admittedly it does sound like a computer shop.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 17:51, Reply)

*raises hand*

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 18:35, Reply)

*sad face*

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:02, Reply)

*There there*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:03, Reply)

Thank you : )

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:10, Reply)

no sympathy
until you invent a point to point transporter
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:19, Reply)

I'll get my dad on it.
He has awesome engineering skillz.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:27, Reply)

Will it be in November? I'll have stopped being midland scum by then
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)

You'll always be Midland scum to him.

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Oct 2010, 19:14, Reply)