Oooh, ooh, pick me pick me!!
I have a huuuuge oneee on the inside of my right knee from where my darling (!) horsey decided to throw me off.. and stomp on me. Bitch.

Also some on my arm from (depending on whom asks):
a) resucing a 16 stone pig from a slurry pit in Wales
b) loading a 17hh heavyweight hunter horsey (it was ginger, the bastard) onto a trailer, which horsey took a dislike to and flung me against the side..
c) walking back from pub, very drunk, allowing some friend or t'other of mine to attack my arm with broken glass and vice versa

orrrr

d) magic.

Various other insignificant ones includign writing, hellyeah.

Length = gut.
(mercary, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 14:55, Reply)

With the exception of a couple
most of those are just scratches.

Last january, I came off my scooter at 10mph (yes, really).
I was fine, until the scooter landed on my left leg, fragmenting the tibia from my knee (kneecap was split in half, one half went down, the other was discovered in my thigh) to my ankle.

After three weeks in the hospital, I now have a plate running down my leg, twelve pins holding all the splinters together, and a 'tibial pin' running down the middle of my tibia.
Oh, and as they couldn't close the wound afterwards, they had to move my calf muscle round to the front of my leg (strange thing is, I can make it pluse on command)
I can't straighten my leg now, can't walk without crutches, and am registered disabled.

Pics...(click for bigger)




Here's a short clip of the aforementioned pulsing of the leg (390kb .avi)

/edit
The pictures were taken a week after the operations, the .avi was 6 months later.
(chriswakey, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 14:50, Reply)

Railings
When I was nine, we were kicking a football in the street when the ball went over a fence into an old church. I volunteered to climb over and retrieve the ball.

I get to the top and slip, landing on the hedge running behind the fence. As I can't move my leg, I think I'm trapped and start yelling for help. Turns out one of the spikes on the top of the railings had entered my leg and was nearly protruding from the other side.

An ambulance crew turns up and try to lift me off the fence but stop when I tell them to stop, so someone arrives with a hacksaw and cuts the spike off and off I go in the ambulance with a 6 inch spike sticking out of my leg.

It took the surgeons 5 hours to remove it and left me with a scar running from my crotch to my knee.
(OldProgie, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 14:45, Reply)

Oh yes, I remember one.. not me though
My nephew is a barrel of scars. He has more scars than he has fingers and toes, some examples being when a blackboard fell on top of him, when he shut the door on his face, when he fell out of a tree and onto a nail.. seriously, the nurses at A&E knew him by first name terms. Anyway about a year ago (when he would've been 11), there was one I personally enflicted. Not on purpose this is.. but just out of stupidity.

Picture the scene, he's really into beyblades (?) and thought it'd be interesting to add pencil sharpener blades on all four sides of the beyblade in order to create some sort of evil death spinner. We were messing about with it whilst eating some form of tortilla chips, when we decided it would be fun to spin the beyblade into the bag. Can you see where this is going? Well yeah, put short, he held the bag open whilst I spun the evil creation into the empty bag.

I'm not sure whether I missed, or whether it bounced out of the bag, or whether it sliced midway down; but either way I was faced with a screaming nephew and copious amounts of blood. Turned out the beyblade had cut from the back of his hand, across the flap of skin between his forefinger and his thumb, and onto his palm. Left a dirty great big scar.

Didn't stop us from doing it again.

Ten minutes later.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 14:32, Reply)

Cocktails and feature lighting
While in my first year at uni I decided to visit a local club where they were doing 'cocktails' containing vodka, cider and cherry aid for 50p a glass (they were mixed in a dustbin) later in the evening after drinking rather a lot (understatement of the century?) I decided to lean on a nice low wall near the entrance. Sadly said low wall had a lot of those little uplighter type things in it which get quite hot, I only realised that something was wrong when a friend asked where that burning smell was coming from and why my arm was smoking. 3 years later the burn has almost faded.
(lankymike, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 14:30, Reply)

Bikes hurt
Got a lovely 3 cm scar on the side of my left knee after falling off my bike when i was a wee nipper. (6 or so) No idea what happened, was riding along one moment, and in a world of hurt the next. Went to the nice(?) doctor who, instead of sewing it together, used some strange bandaids shaped like a butterfly to close the wound. Was told to keep the injury still...yeah right, a six-year-old on summer holiday, you do the math. Promptly broke the bandaids which resulted in the aforementioned scar.
Can anyone reccomend a decent lawyer?
(Jindrak, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 14:05, Reply)

I don't know if he got a scar or not...
Peelmytangerine reminded me....

I too went to a single sex school.... and despite the obvious rumours and other bollox, it's the MOST dangerous place to be gay. (A lad got the shit kicked out of him for stating that he thought "queer as folk" was well produced) (the single-minded homophobic twunts that they all were)
Anyhoo.... after rugby, our shower block had too few showers and 2 baths. The baths were filled ....
Nahh I'm not gonna tell you the boring shit. Suffice to say one lad sat down on a pint glass that was invisible (due to being submerged in soapy water) and the words "Shards" and "Penetrate" came into play.

big big ouchyness.
and a very "pink water" moment.

we all winced .. and said "oooohhhhhh"
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Sat 5 Feb 2005, 13:57, Reply)

Suicide
It looks like I tried to commit suicide due to a scar right over my right wrist, going the 'correct' way for lots of bleeding (down the arm - or so I'm told).

What actually happened was that I was climbing a route on the Llanberis slate quarries (Pull My Daisy, for those who know it) and took a rather large (40ft) fall from near the top. I caught my wrist on a small protrusion of rock which ripped a lovely parellel length of skin off.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 13:53, Reply)

Scar on my cheek
which I often tell young nubile ladeez that I recieved while disarming a maniac in a pubfight was, in fact, a scar from my Caesarian birth where the doctors nearly treated me like a young Ken Bigley, brought about by me:

a)lying in an odd position in the womb
b) being a fat fucking foetus

Brilliantly, in the pre-"Sue every fucker" days, my mother only found out the origins of my "scratch" when the doctor walked past as we were leaving hospital and remarked "Oh, that's the baby we cut".
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 13:41, Reply)

I've got two classics...
one nice round one on the inside of my forearm from an incident whilst driving round the M25 many years ago....
Smoking a cigarette, finished cigarette, threw lit butt out of the window. Lit butt then flies down the arm of my leather jacket (which i'm wearing just a t-shirt underneath) and starts melting it's way into my arm. I'm doing 90 in the fast lane, arghhhhhhhhh. Had to carefully change 3 lanes and pull over before i could take off the jacket (the butt has melted all the lining and my arm quite badly by this point). I gave up smoking 4 years ago.


The other incident is from way back in the when - i guess mid 80's when cans of drink still had the proper "ring pulls" with the ring and blade. I was sleeping on the floor of a friends house after a party. During the night i must have rolled over and was suddenly woken by a very sharp pain in my thigh. Looking down there was a ring pull embedded in it - the entire blade bit, and all that was sticking out was the ring, which i had to pull to take it out! It made me feel very queesy. (sp?)

( Beardo, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 13:02, Reply)

Picture the scene
over-excited older brother with new Swiss Army knife. Ever-willing younger brother holding out piece of paper for him to slice in half. Very impressive! So imagine them doing it again with half the size of paper. And half again. And half again. Until piece of paper is tiny and over-excited older brother inevitably misses.

I still have the long scar all the way down my right forefinger!
( splorp ®, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 12:19, Reply)

when i was a lad...
...of about three or four, I was round my dear old grandmother's house. I had just been made a nice mug of tea, which I began to carry in both hands to the sitting room. So I get about five paces, lose my balance, fall forward onto cup with both hands. Cuts in both palms, trip to A&E for some lovely lovely stitches.
My friend has a scar on his arse from when he was attacked by a wild boar in Italy, but that's a different story.
(cap'nj, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 12:13, Reply)

Soon to be a scar...
It went like this:
"where is it?"
"down there"
*bends down*
"where?"
*points to where it is, with cigarette in hand*
"ARGH!"
ciggie burn through my left cheek, sexy as hell
(carpediem, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 12:01, Reply)

Tattoo of a worm
my favourite at the moment (surely clumsy me will get more) has to be a big pink streak on my calf, about 4 inches long from FALLING OFF A STADIUM. Random, I know, but people's faces when they ask how you did it. Kinda looks like a tattoo of a worm...
(carpediem, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 11:58, Reply)

Evil Lightbulb
I smashed a flourescent lightbulb with a six foot tent pole with a spike on top while packing up a van this summer.


(Outatime, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 11:57, Reply)

squirrel
Once I was walking my dog and it decided it would be a good idea to try and eat a squirrel. The dog attacked the squirrel, but the squirrel got away, with it's back legs broken. I thought, awww, poor little furry squeaky squirrel, maybe if I can pick it up I can take it to animal hospital and fix it.

But no, this squirrel didn't want my help and as I picked it up it proceeded to bite right through my hand with it's tiny sharp squirrely teeth, on that little bit of skin between your thumb and first finger. It really fucking hurt and I still bear the scar to this day. I don't know what happened to the squirrel.
( krang, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 11:45, Reply)

Sparrow
I have a small centimeter long scar from a hot strip of Magnesium on my right wrist.
Always tell the foolish that I was feeding a sparrow from my hand when I was small and It went on a mental rampage, tried to cut my wrist open with its razor sharp beak and then was shot as it was a danger to the public.
One guy actually believed it and spent the rest of the week telling everyone about my sparrow scar.
Sparrows, Dangerous bastards.Never look one in the eye.
(Monkeyofspong, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 11:23, Reply)

4R53
I had incision and drainage on two abcesses and now have two cross-shaped scars on either cheek of my backside.

I don't want to inflict photos on your delicate eyes, but it looks not unlike...

( + | + )

As a child, I also once collided headlong with my younger cousin, her forehead was exactly the same height as my mouth. I knocked out two teeth and she still has two little dents on her brow.
(absurdistan, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 11:02, Reply)

Glass tables: Breakable
When I was a toddler, my parent had a table whose surface was made of glass (The legs were made of metal). Being a boy genius, I must have thought it was a brilliant idea to climb on top of this table.

Long story short, my parents come running into to the kitchen having heard my screams of agony, to see me sitting where the table was, ice cream clutched in one hand, shard of glass through my stomach.

As you would expect, I refused to relinquish my ice cream. The image of a bloodstained toddler with a glass protrusion holding a lolly is one I often think about.

***

I also have a fairly big scar on my left knee where I had an osteochondroma removed a couple of years ago, and a tiny scar on one of my knuckles, the origins of which I am completely clueless about.
(Krunk Hey hey, ho ho, 1100110, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 10:43, Reply)

Glace cherry scar
I have a scar on my right calf (not pet baby cow) from the time I tried to fix a snowman at night in my pyjamas with nothing on my feet.

I'd decided that a glace cherry would be the best choice for replacing the knocked off nose, but slipped in the snow and cracked my leg on a flower pot.
(karma queen, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 9:41, Reply)

Cornish Walls
Last year I drove to Cornwall for my new boat launching party, and had organised a free bar in the local pub for all the shipyard workers. Finishing at 1630 that fateful Friday, we all piled in there, about 25 of us. I don't remember much after about 9pm, but I do remember one of the shipwrights later on taking me up some steep stone steps to my accommodation. Apparently when we got to the top of the steps I carried on climbing and walked like a crab straight into a stippled Cornish wall. My glasses fell to the ground, smashed, and part of the stipple went straight into the left side of my head, drawing blood. For those of you who are unfortunate enough to have cut your head open, you know that blood gushes everywhere from there. I had a white shirt on that was covered, and red jeans where it didn't show. I stumbled into the flat whereupon I tried to stave off said blood. Still pissed, I fell into bed. Next morning my partner was horrified - as I looked in the mirror my entire face was encrusted with the stuff. Cue a scream.

2 weeks later I realised that the scar that was left is probably identicle to having a facelift, as I have been asked same several times since. I assure you I haven't.

I have also been back to the same spot a few times since and realised that they'd had to paint the house, but the blood remains on the pavement.

If you live on the Fowey River you will know who I am, the gossip got out all over the village.

Sorry for length. Head in shame :-)
( Tiggy the diver, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 8:46, Reply)

My two favourite scars...
A. Pulled a kettle of boiling water over my face and shoulder (face unmarked....no, really..!) when I was 2, although I usually tell people that it's a shark bite..!

B. Severed the tendon in my thumb by putting my hand through a glass table.


( printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 8:23, Reply)

I was playing hide and seek with my friends (I was about 7-8?)
and I accidentally ran into a wheel barrow and cut a whole hole through the bottom of my eye lid up to my eye (but thankfully I'm not blind), which later had stitches.

I have wheelbarrophobia now :(
(Catfish Ma, why can't I draw? "Because you have fins dear", Sat 5 Feb 2005, 8:17, Reply)

on my birthday (this year)
I bought a new fan for my pc and while i was plugging it in,my hand hit my motherboard's heatsink which was extremely hot (it had been turned on for a week) so naturally,i flung my hand back.small problem,my hand hit something pointy (still not sure what) so my reflexes flung it back into the heatsink and got burned again.so now i have a scar on my hand shaped like this;
||||
||||
anyway,i turned my pc on again and opened the monitoring utility only to find that it was at 60o C!(relatively fucking hot!!)
(That guy with a hat., Sat 5 Feb 2005, 7:38, Reply)

home-made tattoo?
I've a nice little black dot on my knee from accidentally jabbing it with a pencil in 7th grade.
(Luna loves you., Sat 5 Feb 2005, 7:25, Reply)

I've reconsidered and decided to post my most idiotic scar... WARNING: Contains scientific words.
Cue me, aged 12, chasing after the neighbor kid, who is frantically trying to load a pellet into the air rifle he's just shot me in the ass cheek with for a second shot (possibly an attempt to kill me to prevent the severe beating he knows he's going to get).

He trips, falls, and lands unpleasantly in the grass, screaming his surrender. I stalk angrily over to where he is laying, and in an attempt to wrest the air rifle from his hands, manage to trip and fall, shooting myself in the crotch in the process.

Cue pellet imbedding itself just inside my skin, and my *brilliant* idea of just cutting the entire round nub of pellet and entry wound off to avoid explaining it to my mom and having to show my bits to a doctor. (Gyneco-whassat?)

*scientific word warning!*
I've now got a lovely little almost-pefectly round scar about an inch and a half out from my labia majora and in line with my vaginal opening. How's that for precision reporting?

No pictures. Yet.
(Ecclesia, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 7:16, Reply)

Not exactly me but . . .
I work in a hospital . . . yes, I'm on of the people who hears these great stories at the other end. Some highlights from the last five years . . .
Internship: girl pushed by brother through glass door for being annoying by "dancing." Nice big scar along calf (about 15cm long). Cue me being the poor bastard who sutured it up.
Second Year: no longer in country hospital, now in the BIG SMOKE. Night shift - ED. Lovely lad comes in, arm wrapped in bandages. Slit marks approx. 5mm apart horizontally across forearms (self harmer). Grumpy me thinks: "how the crap to fix this?" Spent evening taping slivers of skin to other slivers of skin. So-and-so came back next night having taken all my lovely dressings off !!!
Surgical training: life gets more fun here. Man brought in who decides to stab himself in the belly with a coathanger (not the sharpest of instruments). Pierces abdomen. Off to have belly explored. Same night: drunk young man puts arm through window and then decided in his infinite wisdom to spin it 'round (against the glass) - many tendons severed, 2 arteries to be re-attached, 6 hours of work for the poor Plastics registrar (not me that night - hehe)First comment when coming to was: "Who the f%ck put this sh%tty excuse for a plaster on my f%cking arm? Nice.
Now have seen the light and deal with broken bones (Mmmmmm, power tools . . . )
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Sat 5 Feb 2005, 7:10, Reply)

Oven sheets
Roland puts cookies on sheet, pops into oven.
Roland takes out cookie sheet later with yummy cookies.
Roland trips, balances himself in the nick of time but touches the RED HOT edge of the cookie sheet to his stomach

ow

Now I have a shiny white scar across my stomach.
(Roland Deschain, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 6:29, Reply)

Are tattoos scars?
As listed in newsletter #87: www.b3ta.com/board/1017769

I neglected to mention the *other* one I fucked about with myself, on my ankle, with a sewing needle & bottles of ink... it's still partially visible, at least the black Geminii sign in the middle... you can't make out any of the coloured bits, as they've faded with time.

I've got a lovely scar on my right shin that only shows up really well when I tan (read: sunburn, natural redhead here). I decided round about the age of 12 that it was time to become a woman and shave the peach fuzz off my legs. Instead I took off a strip of skin directly on my shin bone measuring about 6" long and 1/2" wide... it didn't really hurt much until I saw the flap of skin go down the drain.

I've also got a scar on the outside of my right calf from a wonderous ATV accident, precipitated by my brother jumping off the front of it (while driving), which caused the handlebars to turn the thing sharply to the right. I leaned forward to try to steer myself away from the tree I was headed toward, but instead ended up with my leg stuck under the wheel (which kept turning until the rubber tore into my leg), and my hand stuck between the tree, its branches, and the accelerator on the handle, with the whole mess continually pushing itself further into the tree & trapping me for what seemed like an eternity. In times of panic, it's always important to remember the kill switch...

I've got a lovely scar across the top joint on the middle finger of my right hand from where I almost cut off the end of it with a very sharp pair of brand new Fiskars kitchen shears. I was quite young, I don't even recall what I was doing with the scissors. Probably just running around the house.

I've got a scar on the fleshy mound of my palm, opposite my thumb, where I've been trying randomly over the years to dig out a pencil lead that's been imbedded in my hand since the 7th grade. I didn't get it out for the 10th year anniversary, I'm hoping I'll get it in time to celebrate the 15th.

I'm not sure this counts, but I've got scarred track marks on the inside of my elbow on my right arm from having had my blood drawn so many times! For some reason, nurses don't seem to care about such trivial things as making their patients look like heroin addicts...

I've got a whole mess of road rash scars under my chin and just inside my hairline, also a lovely one on the bridge of my nose that (thankfully) has faded over the past 10 years enough to not be noticable, and one directly on the line where my top lip meets the cupid's bow. Somehow it's just not as manly & intimidating on a woman... all of this from the idiotic decision to get on a go-kart being driven by someone who was stoned & tripping.

My most recent addition (does this count?) would have to be my DIY nipple piercings, which are healing quite nicely. (Send me the money for it & I'll go get myself professionally pierced next time! - I'm still working myself up to having more of the less visible bits done, but I'm flat broke... and not opposed to taking donations)

For some reason, I forsee more DIY disasters in my future... I seem to be amassing them...
(Ecclesia, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 6:17, Reply)

Scars and bad cardiothoracic surgeons.
I was born with my chest slightly concaved in the middle and when I was 15 I had a massive growing spurt and the dip got worse so I had it surgically "corrected" and for about a year, my chest was straightened and I have a big fucker of a scar running down my chest now. When I awoke from surgery in my anaesthetic-happy state, I had four tubes running from my stomach to my chest, hanging out of me, to drain all the chest fluid. They left four little dot scars as well. Couple that with my nipples and chest scar and you've got a smiley face. seriously, i'll show you if you're interested. Anyway, the dip, over time, has receeded to it's original position. I'm going to see the twat of a surgeon who operated on me next thursday, If he doesn't have a good answer for this, I'm gonna sue his arse from here to tibet.

have a good one.
(kyouraku, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 5:58, Reply)