14 after 2 cans of special brew.
I never thought of how much of a townie I was at the time. I knew a girl who I had had a bit of in the past, let's say she was ... a slag.

Absolutly no romance to it at all. I went to a house party she was having, got drunk and we got it on ... with 3 other couples in the room.

It was all a bit sour as I got the nickname 'shagnasty' for a bit after it. She wasn't ugly, and we went at it for quite a bit, but as said before she wasn't hard to get a shag out of.

My kids are not being allowed out until 18.
(FortyFour, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 15:01, Reply)

I'm not exactly sure...
..when I lost mine.

I tried on a building site, that eventually turned into Milton Keynes theatre. I was horrifically drunk, and already seeing someone, but she was seeing someone else anyway so it serves her right. It lasted about 2 seconds, and for the next 3 years I had a major case of the man-flops.

Then one night I got my act together and we (me and the girl I was seeing who was now 100% mine) shagged about 8 times. I was about 20, so a late starter.

Its got better ever since - I reckon you need about 6 months with someone to know them sexually.

Anyway, I've gone off on one now.
(Tanzender Affe, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 14:48, Reply)

June 10, 1985
I was 14, and thought I had started late! As I got older, I found that most people were at least 17 their first time.

My first girlfriend and I spent our long summer afternoons at her place watching soap operas and MTV. Oooh, Madonna, Bananarama (I'd like to rama my banana), and Sheena Easton did nothing to still my raging hormones and feelings of failure for being a 14 year old virgin. Both her parents worked, and she had no at-home brothers and sisters.

We were making out in her parents's bed, and decided to play a game where we would remove pieces of clothing and surprise each other with what we had removed. She finally asked me if I wanted to, and of course I did. She wasn't a 14 year old virgin, being 13 her first time a year before. I just laid there on her not knowing what exactly to do while she repeatedly warned me to not get her pregnant or she would kill me. Nice and romantic, she was.

I was disappointed. I felt very guilty and actually mourned my loss for a few days. Something had changed in my life and things would never be the same again. Not "manly" feelings, I know, but there they were. The guilt didn't last long, of course, and I've been spending the last 20 years doing more research.

Does anyone recognize the significance of June 10, 1985? It's the 50th anniversary of the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous, which I am a member. Quite fitting given the large amount of drunken sex I've had (or tried to have) over the years. But I'm much better now...

Keep "coming" back! It works!
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 14:45, Reply)

Arr, One was enough fer me...
Let's see, 'twas on a ferry,
Holyhead to Dun Laoghaire,
And I was a mere 23.

She was fair and keen,
And still nineteen,
Though she'd done, and I hadn't, see?

I'd bought the supplies
But she wasn't wise
That I was still pure in them days

For though I'd tickled and spanked
and once had it yanked
It had only ever seen light of day.

She knew what to do,
I hadn't a clue,
I think I put it on inside out.

We bounced on the bunk,
I blew out my trunk,
But after I just let it slip out.

"Your first time!" she said,
As my face turned red
though she'd had no complaints now, alright?

"Should have told me before,
I'd have done something more"
And she sulked for the rest of the night.

Since then it's ten years
and a bit more my dears;
we've got a house, a daughter and son,

But every damn night
'fore i turns out the light
I tries to give her another one.

As goes length, don't be sorry, be right, I says.
( Argh-wrath ... is a very lame Glorantha joke, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 14:35, Reply)

I lost me virginity...
...to an electric toothbrush.
(BlurOfSerenity, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 14:18, Reply)

we were both virgins
he lasted about 2 minutes, I guess that's typical though.

feckin teenagers.
( Funtastic Pony Magic, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 14:16, Reply)

I didn't see it coming...
I was 18 in 1994 and living in Bath, desperate to lose my virginity. I met a hippyish older girl in a Bath pub called the Beehive, and we drank scrumpy together. She took me down by the river and we ended up screwing under a tree by Pultney Weir. The people queueing for a nearby club (T's, I think it's called) were all watching. Afterwards she said quite casually that she'd quite like to have some heroin next - thank god I'd used a condom. I felt completely bewildered by the whole experience, not having expected any of it to happen, and I didn't tell anyone because she was so skanky. It was awful, but a relief to have finally got it out of the way.
(xyandz, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 14:07, Reply)

Well....
On the top of the slide of an adventure playground in the middle of Melksham in sub-zero temperatures, drunkenly banging in the New Year with a young lady I'd met a mere few hours earlier can't be considered usual, but it was certainly fun.

Staggering around in a very unfamiliar town for over 3 hours afterwards trying your best to recall where your friend you're crashing with lives isn't so much fun. Escpecially when the only thing you can remember is his family live on "Middle Street", and there are more than one of them in the area.

Happy days...
(Glis, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:56, Reply)

Romance is dead
15 years old, on some concrete, outside some garages in Chertsey after he'd played a "teen heavy metal" type gig.

He had an enormous knob (and was one at the time) and red y-fronts. Ladies: you know red y-fronts mean "stop", "danger" and "do not enter".

Afterwards, he romantically whispered in my ear "I wouldn't let your Mum wash your t-shirt" (we hadn't used protection).

Not exactly myth exploding....
(smack rabbit, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:54, Reply)

aaah, memories
she was sixteen .... stone, and she was 18yr old, next door neighbour. I was 15 at the time, was round hers drinking as you do when she asked if she could suck me off, all well and good i thought. Next thing i remember shes rolling a johnny on my cock and climbing over me, can still feel her belly and tits pressing on me now, thats not in a bad way BTW - i loved it, and still like the "larger" lady...

as for brown wings, nother bird in the back of my mk2 escort, no johnnies so she suggested a bit of brown love, we both enjoyed it till i come and pulled out, and she shit all over my back seat, slightly watered down and mixed with cum......
(Aleister Crowleys Badger Nothing to see here, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:50, Reply)

Deutschland uber alles
Apologies in advance, it's going to be a long one, and probably only serves to reinforce some myths, but hey ho...

There I was, aged 16 on an exchange trip to a small town in Germany. I had made a conscious decision to put aside my prejudices regarding our teutonic friends and take everyone I met at face value. Apart from the odd stare here and there, all was good. Until, as horny teenagers are wont to do, groups would arrange to meet up at an understanding host family's house, or in a bar. This was when the questions started...

Do you live in a ghetto? Where do you keep your gun? Can you do a rap for us later on? It was one step away from "You people are almost normal!" Coming from a small english market town, I was used to some ignorance, but this was pushing it. It put me off all the girls that I had met until...

One of the german guy's sister turns up. Kristina. Nineteen, blonde, nigh-on six feet tall and to my eyes then (and with the benefit of hindsight)every sixteen year old boy's perfect wank fantasy. She strolled over to our table, did brief introductions, then for reason's that would soon become apparent took a very healthy interest in yours truly. I couldn't believe it, this vision wanted me, I was having difficulty holding it together. Then she started with the usual idiotic questions I had been asked all week.

I still haven't quite forgiven myself for what I did next, yes, I played along. As the lies spilled from my mouth, she was getting more and more turned on and touchy-feely. She suggested that she drive me back to her flat to continue the discussion...

It turned out that almost every bloke in the town had been after her for years, but she had never slept with any of them as she didn't want to be reminded of it everytime she saw them, or give bragging rights. She wanted something special, exotic and a little bit dangerous for her first time. ME!

What happened next still remains a bit of a blur and trust me, I have reminisced about it enough times that it should be crystal clear but isn't. It was like a page from a pornographer's handbook come to life. She lit candles, set the music low, then started undressing. She was stunning, I was stunned. She then did things to me I wasn't sure were legal for about half an hour, until we finally did the deed. Which understandbly didn't last long, but she didn't seem to care.

After a few molests and kisses, she dropped me back at the bar and drove off. I don't think anything has ever surpassed the feeling I had at that moment. Apart from the knowledge that most of the male population of that town would know very quickly that it was me that finally deflowered Kristina.
(Dr. Lucien Sanchez, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:44, Reply)

The noise of the football on the telly in the background...
...is the most memorable thing about my first time. I was 18, he was 36. He tore his eyes away from the screen for just enough time that it took (almost immediately) and then went back to the game in time for the second half.

What's worse is I was so in love/lust/delusional that I thought it was great. Time has shown me that it certainly wasn't. I got my own back though - the next (and last time) we had sex I bled all over his sheets and he had to take them round to his mother's house the next day and explain the blood!! (NB - he was Italian so obviously his mother did his washing!)
(Hazy, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:42, Reply)

my mate martyn
lost his to a 23 year old slapper in caravan in skegness when he was 16. he bought mr loverman the next day and played it repeatedly. on the way back home i threw it out the window. i was still a virgin.
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:36, Reply)

drug induced interrupted sex
I don't think anyone has lost their virginity quite like me...

After trying to lose my virginity for several weeks with my boyfriend at the time (he had a slight erectile problem) he actually had to go and purchase some viagra so we could get down to business. My parents were away on holiday thank the lord, but my two little sisters and small brother were downstairs.

Anyway, first try was a hideous failure. I shouted at him, extremely frustrated (little harsh I know) and got in my parents bed to sulk. So he then joins me...and we suddenly have lift off. So we start going at it in my parents bed...and my best friend happens to walk in.

I was fifteen.

Christ almighty.

Afterwards, sat in the kitchen in embarassed silence, my sis walks in and says "You were doing it up there, weren't you?".

The condom wouldn't flush away so I threw it out of the window. Where it remained in the garden for my dad to see as he watered the flowers two days later.
(mrmistoffeles, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:27, Reply)

with friends like that!
there was me all sweetness and innocence, waiting to be all in love before making sweet luuurve. Got p1ssed, thought 'sod this I'm 18 and want some', shagged mate (male!). He taught me the ways and I am still of the belief that I am not slutty, I'm popular! (you've got to have a hobby after all!)
After that, the sweetness dissolved, the innocence shipped out and my bum was sore!
(mckitkat, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:24, Reply)

8 November 1989...
... next day the berlin wall came down. Coincidence?

Could not stop grinning from ear to ear for 2 days.
( bierbelly, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:21, Reply)

Lizzilla
In the car park opposite the statue of the bloke who, in my youth, was always to be found holding a Pepsi can. No such thing as CCTV then. We'd been up to the club opposite the market, can't remember what it was called then. By "give it ago" do you mean losing your cherry on the quay, 'cos I can't do enough to put you off that horrific experience. (To be fair, she was a fit young lady and we had a good few weeks after that frankly abismal beginning).

DrSchnauss: Yes, I have thanks.
( Lord Manley of Ven www.justgiving.com/manley - please?, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:20, Reply)

18 years ago...
...and I was sweet 16 (CLAPPER REVEALS AGE SHOCKER!!!)

The act was a typical first time- a sweet, sexy, sheepish all at the same time experience. And frankly I felt like someone had rammed a broomstick up inside me. "How on earth will that go in there?" I thought. "Ow ow ow" - but it was worth it.

The real revelation came when I slept with a different person, and realised just how tiny the first penis had been!

Top tip: Ladies! Do your pelvic floor exercises! Retain that 'first time feeling' for your sexually active life!
(clapper, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 13:03, Reply)

29th April 1995.....
...was the day. I was 16, she was 15, my girlfriend etc etc - All was spunky dory actually... apart from me shagging a minor course (only be a few months I have yee know)
Approaching my 10 year anniversary of shagging next month.....Go me.

Someone must have a interesting/bad story about loosing the old Brown Wings...?
( -:Coop:-, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:57, Reply)

The Mother
This happened to an old friend of mine from Cheshire.

She decided that she wanted to have sex for the first time with her current boyfriend (also a virgin), so she arranged for him to come around to her house and met her Mother who was leaving for work.

After the Mother had gone and an apparently good time foreplaying they switched gears, she got on top and near fucked herself silly to be suddenly met with him screaming his head off underneath her and far too much blood than may be expected to be going all over the bed.

His foreskin had split right down to the shaft having got caught inside her during the exuberant bouncing.

They both went to hospital by Ambulance - him bleeding non-stop, and her to be checked out internally.

The chief registrar who saw both of them in A&E was her Mother!
(Catchag "You know!....For Kids!", Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:50, Reply)

watching army of darkness
she says "this is boring"
Mallrats goes on
she says "why don't you take my top off?"

i think you can guess the rest. haven't seen her since, can't even remember her name. fantastic
( rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:35, Reply)

19 in a bath in Crewe
Was painfully shy with potential partners - all the attempts I made of chatting anyone up ended with decline, or self-defeat before hand, so i gave up completely and decided that self abuse was the cerebral thing to do.

A week after that desicion I was chased around the sports center where I worked by the new barmaid - who finally cornered me and said "Here's my address, be there at 8pm tomorrow night with a bottle of wine - if you're not there I will come to yours because I've got your address" - GULP!

I turned up, with wine and then spent 3 weeks side-stepping her advances because I didn't know what the 'decent' period of time was.

She finally got me in the bath when I was having a shower after work - humped herself senseless and breathily asked me if I enjoyed it - I honestly said no - And she cried.

She did manage to unleash a beast though, and after 18 months of all night humping, threesomes with her college mates and other fantastic pursuits - she dumped me because I wanted too much sex!!! Go figure.
(Catchag "You know!....For Kids!", Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:34, Reply)

Jesus wept: I was in Fear.
It was without doubt one of the best, yet simultaniuosly worst time of my life.

The Scene: School. A picturesque lakeland town, where a few holiday houses were situated.
Spotted one day, sat on the wall was a lass who quite blatantly was not from the area.

I was 15, Bold, and had nothing to do all afternoon. Introductions went well, the afternoon went like a breeze; after agreeing to meet the next day we part with a kiss. Sorted.

Next evening we're sat on a hillsie looking out over the town, gently fiddlnig and cuddling, and the following conversation ensues.
"Penny for your thoughts" drops off my lips.
"sex" says she.
After mentally running a victory lap of the world, I delve deeper... "be more specific"
"I'm Wondeing what sex would be like with you"
*another victory lap.... this time with WOO and YAY on a banner*
"couldn't say", says I trying to be mature, never done it, so I have no idea if it's be good" *pats self on head for smoothness*
"well, I have no idea either... but we could find out....."
Smart-arse here has a rug, and rubber with him... so suggests we toddle off into the woods...
"no" says she... "I have to go talk to my mum first"
No probs.. she's obvously gonna say "Off for a walk with Humpty Mum.... back in a bit"
"sure" says I. "I'll meet you back here"
"no, You're coming with me"
*eeeep* We walk to the cottage, and she rings the doorbell.
Mum "Hello L, Where've you been"
L "hi mum, this is Humpty, we've been for a walk"
Mum "ahh. That's nice"
L "Mum?... We're going to go and have sex"
At this point, I nearly lost bowel control.

A minor grilling ensued, and I was asked things like "And what do you think of this Humpty?" (erm... it feels right to me) etc.

We eventually (bless her mum and her modern way of thinking) toddled off to a quiet bit of countryside (long grass, a field miles from anywhere, next to the River Rawthy), and lay down together...

Without going into too much detail....
1. She had the painters in.
2. Neither of us really knew what we were doing.
3. We went at it (litterally) for HOURS, and I NEVER came due to serious mum-with-hatchet paranoia.
4. We gave up when the rubber split, and I had to go fishing for it.
5. I have told this story as "my most embarrassing moment" for 13 years.
6. Having got in contact with Lyns recently, It appears that she tells everyone that I was a heroic stud who lasted for HOURS, and that she came countless times: I'm still not sure if she ever knew that I didn't come (I had no idea that she had..)

The words "Hi Mum, we're going to go and have sex" left me stood infront of her sizeable mother, feeling ver, VERY small... To this day I think the only reason I didn't run like the wind was because in light of this amazing statement, my brain was too busy melting to be able to galvanise my legs into action.

Even though I now know that they were the words that paved the way to one of my life's most heroicly told stories, It was still terrible.


Edit. I really am truly sorry about the length of my performance. I'm even MORE sorry that I turned her down 2 nights in a row afterwards. (I was too sore)*slams head aginst wall*
Edit 2: folowing the example below, We were BOTH 15.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:19, Reply)

too young
regrets, i have a few

mainly the 14 year old scouser on a swing in a caravan park in north wales (for all you legal seagulls reading i was 13 at the time so not quite as illegal)
(fade101, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:14, Reply)

Summer Of 76`
Age 15.

The summer of '76 was the hottest on record. It was freaking scorching all summer. I spent most of it down by the river in a small town called Chester-Le_Street.

Anyway, met up with a couple of slappers from Durham and ended up in the woods near the river with them. The slapper I ended up with was a ginger lass (can't remember her name) who made it plain that she was up for it.

We split into two couples and disappeared into the bushes. Started off necking and within 5 minutes both of us were starkers and clawing at each others bodies. This was the first time I ever had a girls hands on my knackers. I was in hog heaven.

We didn't do the deed that day but met up the next evening for a walk along the river. We walked for a while then lust took over and we headed down to the river, through the woods. Found a nice shady dell with a bit of a view of the river and took up where we left off the first day. She gave me my first blow-job (ended up spunking all over her tits) and then down to the real nitty-gritty. It was fucking awesome! Considering we were both virgins we seemed to have no trouble pressing each others buttons.

I ended up with my knob covered in blood and my back clawed to ribbons. Happy days.

Next day I cut her dead. She burst into tears and fled crying her eyes out.

Next week, my best mate Tony, ended up having a massive row with his dad. Turns out some guy who worked with Tony's father had had a right go at him for letting his son shag his daughter and then dumping her. Tony denied vehemently that it was him - he didn't know her, hadn't touched her, and didn't have a clue what was going on. Father and son were at odds for months over this.

What had actually happened was that, on the advice of my older brother "Never give girl your real name", I had told her I was called Tony ****.

Sorry Tony.

Cheers

Legless
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:10, Reply)

I was a late starter...
After a few earlier failed attempts due to being nervous and/or extraordinarily drunk, I finally lost mine to an older woman of 31 when I was 20 (makes her 40 now!! Haha!). Fancied her rotten for weeks since I first met her, she asked me what I wanted for my 21st birthday, I said "You". What a fucking line. 100% winner. Worked a treat, went back to hers, after my now usual nervy start things went fucking(!) brilliantly. An hour or so later we were at it again. And again. And so on and so forth. Got to be said I was lucky as some of my mates had rather crap 1st times so I was well chuffed. Went out with her for some months which was daft as I was a very immature wee laddie for 21 and she was a seen-it-all 31 year old. Still, I must have done something right! Was appreciated amongst my peers back then for that episode and my general taste in slappy women. Dumped me when I buggered off to Oz. Not seen her since. I am now married - Hurrah!

So to recap for you young 'uns:
1. Much older women - don't get involved.
2. Tons of booze and sex don't mix. Brewers droop EXISTS!
3. Length, girth, technique and poundage - never apologise, never explain.
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 12:01, Reply)

I am
bloodninja

I lost my cyber virginity AGES ago.

LOSERS!
(richard pye, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 11:57, Reply)

?
Lord Manley, how the bloody hell did you manage to lose it on Bide quay, "the least romantic, most freezing, most CCTVd place on Earth"? Intrigued, cos I'm going home to Bideford for Easter in two weeks, figured I'd give it a go myself...
(Lizzilla, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 11:44, Reply)

Saturday afternoon in summer listening to savage bloody garden
at the ripe young age of 17 my former young lady of a fair few months suddenly decided that that particular moment was 'the' moment.

It was great and from that point we rooted like professionals. She molested me in fields, under bridges, in hallways, the lot. No holes bared.

Then she decided she hates sex, hates me and went totally bunny boiler. Happy days.
( nnnndave, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 11:41, Reply)

aged 17...
the staff toilet of the royal exchange shops (before they got bombed). I was much fitter and stronger then, and was able to manage it against a wall whislt holding her up. would probably die doing that now.

to cap it all, heard a year later she was a lesbian. 5 years after that i emailed her via friendsreunited and she assured me that she kind of knew already but wanted one last try at some fella action. My mates still think I turned her.
( Dirty Bob hasn't been here for ages, Thu 3 Mar 2005, 11:37, Reply)