Dom...
was skinny and speccy and didn't really talk to anyone. At breaks he used to walk laps of the yard, counting the bricks in the wall.

As it was, he turned out to be a sound guy - I think he had some sort of photographic memory. I used to see him in Smiths reading the BASIC code they'd print in the middle of Your Sinclair. He'd put the magazine back on the shelf and then on Monday, he'd have some new game or program using the bits he'd memorised.
(Buster Gonad needs to borrow your wheelbarrow on, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 16:27, Reply)

Kid pink teeth.
Milling around in my primairy school yard the weird kid shouted "Oi boy, come here". What with my friends being in some camp disco dancing club I had nothing better to do so I went to see what he wanted.

He opened his mouth and all of his teeth were pink. I asked "how did you do that?" not seeing the metal fence post poking out of the ground with white marks on it.

He then opened his mouth and then clasping it around the fence post rythmically moved his head up and down. I don't want to sound cliche but I backed away slowly. With that ugly scraping sound resonating around the playground.
(WiggZ, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 16:17, Reply)

A fellow called Andy
Andy was not all that strange but for almost 2 years he never trimmed his pinky nails,
instead sharpening them to a point for "the scratching".
( SolidGoldChimp, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 16:14, Reply)

trevor & dawn
at middle school, there was this 'special needs' kid called trevor... who fancied the schools 'flea bag' dawn.

both kids were picked on a great deal, and they really didnt help the situation at all by just basically being weirder and weirder as time went by.

trevor on a school trip put his finger in a cow pat and then licked his finger.... still have nightmares about that one!

dawn fell over in the middle of the road facing incoming traffic on a school trip and no-one helped her incase they 'caught something' (we were 9 and stupid).. bless her..

trevor and dawn eventually got together.. much to the amusement of the rest of the school.

i will always remember being able to see the nits actually crawling around her blonde matted hair..

dawn now works stacking shelves.. dont know about trevor.
(chixor, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 16:12, Reply)

I went to a posh boarding school
There were 5 telephones between 500 of us (way before mobiles).

The 'phone rang and it was this kiddy's dad. Hence convoluted and very time-consuming act of getting said kiddie to the 'phone, and all of us waiting increasingly irately to pretend that we were 'phoning our girlfriends as opposed to our mums.

Kiddie turns up after about 10 minutes, out of breath from running. Stops. Looks nervous. Takes 'phone, snaps to attention and says "Yes Sir.". Continues conversation in said pose and manner.

So - weird parents instead I s'pose.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 16:11, Reply)

Robbery
Some kids from my school robbed an off-licence.
In their school uniform.
Expulsion followed.
( littlefish I like cheese, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 16:07, Reply)

a sign for the future?
one kid sticks in my mind was a lad called David Connely,or ConMan as he liked to be called.He had a habit of sliding under the circular table around which six of us sat for lessons,while shouting "Sir!,Sir!.....the table is eating me!!"

Went on to commit suicide i believe.....
( strictlyrockers hasnt been on here for ages, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:40, Reply)

swordfighting werewolf drummer
We got to the 6th form and were able to chose any sport to do in PE - Martin chose sword fighting, with a real sword. On his own. He also howled at the moon. No one was sure if it was an affectation or not.

He was the only drummer in our year though so he was in the band.

***************
PS: Funny how in this week of a TV show highlighting the misery of bullying that so many people here are reveling it.
(kendangle, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:37, Reply)

Bbbrrruuummm
There was a lad in our primary school who was known to all to be a bit slow, but never picked upon, really, because he kept himself to himself. He also thought he was a motorbike and would ride around the playground making brum-brum noises and holding his hands in the air like he was holding onto the handlebars. Bless. I think, remembering back far too many years, that his surname was Carr, which may be ironic.

*POP!*

(Dribble)

(Wipe)
(Oishii, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:33, Reply)

I don't think I need to tell you that was me
Mentally rather than pissing self.

Still am, just ask /talk.
( 0800221155 Coldseal windows, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:31, Reply)

I went to school with Pete from Big Brother
He did call the teachers "wankers" a lot.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:31, Reply)

skiders
Because he had shit himself in p.e one day. medical reasons but it being school and we being harsh as fuck didnt let him forget it. shame it happened in year 7, and had to endure this nick name for the next 6 years. it didnt help that he actually SMELT like shit 24/7 and freaked every girl he looked at, he also tried to pick fights with the wrong people and consequently oftern had a black eye or bloody nose. he was rather fucked up in the head and probaly explains why he has a huge beer belly and lives on his own in bedsit these days.
To be fair though, he was a prick and deserves every thing that comes to him.
length? about the same as his y-fronts.
( Captain Pilchard The king of B-movies!, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:29, Reply)

um, well
i went to this school

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/702531.stm

everyone was wierd in their own right really (including yours truly)
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:28, Reply)

Wierd
One kid. Well, actually, we had a few, but this one sticks on my mind.

Laurence was a nice guy, but prone to some eccentric actions. Once, while we were waiting for a history lesson, he got bored (the teacher was always late), so he knelt down, put his arms around the back of his knees and leapt around sideways. Apparently doing an impression of a crab. For some reason, the whole class (me included) found this funny and were pissing ourselves laughing when the teacher walked in.

Another time, we were in a classroom on the first floor, and, as usual, he was clowning around. The teacher walked in, so he threw himself out of the window, and hung by his fingertips for 45 minutes until the lesson ended. I was extremely impressed.
(Ok, I'll get me coat, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:27, Reply)

We had this wierd kid in class, when asked a Question of the Week he would just go off topic and tell us about how everyone would "beat the living shit out of" or relentlessly bully some poor unfortunate soul who was unlucky enough to move to a new school late or not quite be deemed tall enough, blonde enough or confident enough to fit in.
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:22, Reply)

I hope they returned 'misadventure'
A kid at my school was always bragging that he could tie a perfect hangman's knot...

A few years after I left I heard that he actually could, shame he "accidentally" tested it on himself. (Well not really - he was a complete twat).
( Jonoton, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:18, Reply)

May I present ...
Paul Mundy - A shambling pikey with torn clothes and a permanent mask of dirt, finished off with a handful of mossy teeth. He claimed rather improbably that his dad was a millionaire. We challenged him to prove this by bringing a million pounds to school. He didn't and was judged a liar. I became his friend for two days when I found out he was the ony kid in the school who had Number Two in the Buck Rogers sticker book: Wilma Deering. The friendship faltered when he invited me to visit his house. I was too afraid.

Richard Baldrick - possessor of the world's hugest zit, a Vesuvius of malignant pus that swirled in its own weather system on the very tip of his nose. On discovering that he was adopted, he set up a crossbow booby trap in his bedroom with which to slaughter his 'parents'. He was last seen lying on a busy road "waiting for a juggernaut to kill me."

Jamie "Donger" Donston - a troglodyte from the council estate whose academic abilities extended to punching people until they passed out or died. He sat next to me in the remedial maths group and gave me dead legs until I became permanently lame. When he copied my answers in the end-of-year test, he was disappointed to discover that I had got the worst result in the school's history: 3%. I almost paid for that with my life.

'JJ" - the only black kid in the school, he had the curious habit of masturbating happily to himself in the PE changing room. Fortunately for him, every girl in the school wanted him just so they could piss off their middle-class parents by bringing home a black boy. He reputedly had sex with a tree (inserting his wang in a knot hole).

"Frog" - real name unknown. He was so ugly that it looked like he'd been put together with a geneticist's Mr Potato head kit. He claimed to masturbate by rubbing his tool between two hands as if lighting a fire with a piece of wood, Ray Mears style, and brought his jizz to school in a glass jar. When asked if he was a virgin, he replied that he was a Sagittarius.

Kevin Hutchinson - had to be taken to hospital after he pushed a pen lid up his nose and, later, a tiddlywink up his arse. During a biology lesson on teeth, he self-diagnosed himself as having gum disease and burst into uncontrolable sobs until slapped into sapience by the teacher. Had sex with his brother.

There's more ...
(frankspencer, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:17, Reply)

Afraid to read
I'm really worried 'cos I was the weird kid. I didn't eat worms, shag a cat or tell everyone I'd shoved my thumb up my arse while wanking like some blokes in my year but I was pretty fucking weird at school.
(skitster, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:15, Reply)

Annexe
We had loads of weird kids at my high school and they were all locked up in what was known as "the annexe". It was actually just a scummy part of the school that should have been condemned but was used for the loons cos they didn't matter. Plus they had to be kept separate from the rest of the kids.

We had the nutter who had beaten someone to a pulp and was close to being locked up in a real loony bin but the powers that be at the school decided to "give him a break". He had a fuck off big beard so I'm sure he was actually a 40 year old masquerading as a child to escape prison

Then the nutter who was allowed to have some lessons with the normal kids and would and every few minutes would holler "I'm going to Australia!!!! Fuck you all"

Then the weirdo who liked fire and was often found looking longingly at a box of empty matches.

And finally, the freak of nature who was deemed so mental that he wasn't allowed to walk to and from school and had to travel by taxi. He arrived after the normal kids and left before them to ensure the sight of them wouldn't bring on one of his mental rages.

Ah, the education system in England. Love it
(angelica666, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:10, Reply)

g'day mate!
his name was phil, or 'abo' as he was called, he wasn't actually an aborigine, just half filipino and australian, unfortunaly, english teenagers can't really tell the difference! he was bullied alot and would regularily attack other kids and staff, he took to carrying two bricks in his bag for the pleasure of the people that kicked it. Scary bit was when he turned up at my house after hearing i had an air rifle,he just turned up with about 30 copies of landrover magazine (why i do not know) and a loaded handgun, i was worried to say the least.

my god did he stink aswell. 'stinky phil the crazy abo' last i heard he had moved to america.
then there was 'alan' he looked a bit special, and had a weird sideways walk and couldn't really talk too well, always had a briefcase with him, but never ever opened it. when they opened a new tesco store round here two years ago, i spotted him working there, apparently, one day he was stacking bread or suchlike when he stood up under the shelf, sparked himself out and laid unconcious for over an hour before he was found. wonder if he still has his briefcase?
(jimlahey doesn't care what you think since, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:08, Reply)

Was it just my school
or did everyone have one kid in the year with a permanently runny nose, who, rather than wiping or blowing it, would wait for it to reach their top lip before licking it off?
(insert username here, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:05, Reply)

Oh so many
Biff - James Griffen. Nothing wrong with the lad.. he sat at the front of every class had hardly any friends, Didn''t talk to anyone oh and was obviously gay though he never came out whilst we were at school... It was what he got up to after we left school that worries me... A fried of mine had bumped into him and he had come out of the closet good for him! he was also into cross dressing and whilst browsing myspace and finding his page I found his cross dressing counter-part was on his friends list... not that im against that sort of thing but when I stumble across pictures of Him dressed up in drag with quotes saying 'Im malibu barbie' and a picture of him next to a picture of britany spears with the caption 'Look same top'... well thats where i draw the line...

Dick Ed' - Richard Edwards... he was a right nutter... he bought pocket lint from a guy for real money... he would walk into math class and wave to the teacher greeting him with phrases like 'Hiya Knob head' or 'how are you today tosser' needless to say he got kicked out of he class straight away... he lived with his dad and his grnadmother who was rather out of it. he stole her pension book and sed it to get money out and then spend it on things like playstations or games... prtty much anything we asked for... he also decided it would be funny to convince her to eat chocolat even though she was diabetic... if that wasnt bad enough it was laxative chocolate... *shudder*... he fed her half the bar... he then decided to eat the other half himself... then when walking down th e street he realsied he needed to let it flow... so he rushes to the nearest house and lets it out over there front lawn..

one more...

The Ham - Hamzah Bakir. Came from Jordan... though he spoke with a strong american accent... he had facial hair when he was 10 and didnt give a shit what people thought of him... people took the piss out of him at first but I got along with him. one time we were going into science class and Richard (see above) decided to slam the door which had a dead lock on it... Hamzah who was close behind slamed straight into the door and broke the lock... we then had to explain to the teacher that it was a complete accident that he had just walked into the door with so much force that it knocked the door down.

excuse the length blah blah blah
(That Random Guy, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:05, Reply)

Sometimes it pays
I went to an all boys school in the 80's which was obviously a recipe for weirdness in itself but there was one guy who stood out.

He was always the geeky kid who spent most of his time in computer club and chess club. I vaguely remember him as having the ginger pudding bowl hairdo from hell and he always seemed to smell of biscuits. He had a monstrous temper and even the "hard" rugby boys used to give him a wide berth in case he stared really hard at them and made them explode.

I'm ashamed to say that I'm sure he was bullied relentlessly but now he's a software engineer for a rather large software company based in Seattle, flies planes in his spare time, earns a bloody fortune and lives in a huge house with his wife and 3 kids.

I think he also holds some US patents as well.

The moral of the story - be nice to the weirdo, he could end up being your boss...
(penrose your dog's got tits, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:03, Reply)

Dusty Shit In The Pug Mill!
Dusty decided it would be a great idea to drop a foal in the machine the pottery teacher used to recyle clay. (The Pug Mill)

The smell was intense, it seeped through the whole of the art block within minutes.

He then delighted in telling everyone who cared how he did it...
Apparently he made a flat tile of clay, took it to the toilet (we were lucky he had the modesty to do that), crapped on it and then (in his own words) "Made a sort of cornish pasty out of it".. that's good eatin'.

He then dropped it into the top of the machine and the rest was done for him...

Dusty got a job in the end on the bakery at Sainsbury's. His hygiene skills came in handy there.
(LunarJim, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 15:00, Reply)

When I was in Class 2
One of my classmates took all her clothes off and stood up on the table while the teacher was out of the room. I had no idea why then, and I still don't.
( Fergburger, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 14:58, Reply)

Odd
This was a Croydon comprehensive in the early nineties and this guy used to use a briefcase as his schoolbag. He always made sure it was securely locked as he was ultra paranoid that someone would want to steal or disrupt his rock collection.

This rock collection was his pride and joy, he used to have one of those address book things were you pressed the letter and it popped open to the appropriate page, however in his case instead of having names and addresses of his friends (ahem) and family, he had the names of the rocks beginning with that letter - neatly listed. He used to show this address book off with alarming regularity - despite the beatings he would get for it.

He never walked anywhere he would only run, but in a really bizarre arms by his side, body tipped forward, legs kicking out at the back way - and always with his briefcase flapping against his leg.

I blame all this on the fact that his parents had a Nissan Sunny and used to have floral cushions and a floral tissue box cover on the parcel shelf.
(Melonetta, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 14:56, Reply)

Colin
Colin, although with his speech impediment he pronounced it Tolin, was a weedy wee shit, with the kind of face you never tired of punching, not just by me, but by the entire secondary school.

He arrived at school about 6 months after everyone else when he moved to the area, so was too late to join a group of people, and was too shy to approach anyone and talk to them.

One day a group of neds, (chavs if your english), was battering the shit out of him, when he fell to the ground and screamed that he was having a heart attack.

The neds stepped back, and watched this slimy wee guy rolling around on the ground screaming and clutching his chest, before Tolin spotted his chance and did a runner while the neds all pissed themselves laughing.

On noticing his successful escape strategy, Tolin then proceeded to try this every time he was getting beaten, except by now word was out and everyone now kicked the shit out of him just to see his pathetic crying/screaming as he once again had a heart attack.

if your out there Tolin, you did deserve it.
(hudster, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 14:56, Reply)

Ski-be-de-be-de bom-bom-bom-bom...
One of my good male friends at school was Ambrose, I shan't put his surname here, suffice to say it was double barreled and I'm sure there's only one person with his name in the country...

However, no-one ever called him Ambrose. From the first year of high school he was renamed John Lennon, due to his floppy hair and round glasses. And he did look a fair bit like the dead Beatle anyway, long nose etc...

Now, John Lennon is quite a cool nickname, he used to hate it. Not quite as much as the nickname he received after he hit puberty and got really into pr0n. Not the nice kind either.

We used to sit next to each other in Maths classes, and while we both shared the same sick sexual sense of humour, Ambrose took it a little further. In the last year of school he became very proud of his collection of scat-pr0n, the man was a regular fecophiliac, he had like 4 gig of the stuff, which in the year 2000 at age 15 was pretty impressive.

Now, I'm sure most of you will remember the song "I'm a scatman"... it was a fairly big *hit* in the nineties.

Sung by... yes, Scatman John. To this day I still refer to him as Scatman John, and giggle when I hear the song.

Aaaah, school.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 14:50, Reply)

Mud tit explosion
A schoolfriend of mine, a very very good friend at the time, once exploded a giant mud tit he'd built in his back garden.

He'd had a bad time with girls. It helped.

I suspect he lurks on B3ta too.
( Argh-wrath ... is a very lame Glorantha joke, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 14:46, Reply)