How the hell do you think I met my husband?
Matchmaker.com
After a bad breakup with an ex, I was looking for fuck buddies.
One guy, Kevin, who appeared to be a great bloke asked if I wanted to go to the beach for the day. Now this is Southern California, so of course I agreed! He took me to the local nudist beach and got a hard on when I was putting lotion on (and no, I didn't so much as take my top off!).
Never saw him again...........

Then there was Chris, an English bloke. I should have known better, I'm from England for fucks sake. He got hammered, I had to drive him home.

One of the weirdest, but funnest meetups I ever had was an emetophobic convention back in 2001 I guess it must have been. A bunch of puke phobics all met up at my house and it was written up in the local paper

I eventually met my hubby online, and I can honestly say, he's the best non-Hull bloke I ever met.
Seriously though, he's the dogs bollocks!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 22 Mar 2006, 5:31, Reply)

So far
Sebeedee's guy is the weirdest person EVER.
I'm thinking his songs might actually be good, if he could sing and if he wasn't completely tone-deaf.
Maybe someone (not me, I'd be too scared) should organize a meet with him or something. I'd like to see what he looks like!
Cat O'Nine Tails is my personal favourite song.

This is a small section from Cat O'Nine Tails:
Chasing people brings me hope. Lots of fun. I like to hurt people. I like to hurt. I like to hurt people. I Like to hurt. I like to really hurt. I like to hurt. See how much damage can be done. Then I do it. Bringing you down is my motis operandi.

Now imagine a keyboard going up and down the scale for pretty much the entire duration of this, and then imagine someone who really, REALLY can't sing singing these words. His voice is really hard to describe - its sort of squeaky and gravelly at the same time.
The whole song is satirising someone he doesn't like.
Someone should make a flash movie of those songs.
(DarthDonsbal, Wed 22 Mar 2006, 4:31, Reply)

friends reunited
While minding my own business at uni in manchester i get an email from some girl living in dorset saying she knows me from home (n. ireland).
after a few checks with friends it turns out she does indeed know me (i have a shocking memory) so that much is true. After a few emails she calls me and all seems well. then she invites me down for a 'visit'. Moron face here thinks this is a great idea and hops on a train to dorset. bloody dorset like, who goes there? long story short, the nutter likes me and decides she wants us to go out. It's been two years. I live in dorset. We're buying a house. Help me.
(menashem, Wed 22 Mar 2006, 1:59, Reply)

erotic pizza anyone?
'Lo. never posted before.

When my housemate get talked at by people on tut web he tends to tell them he's a transexal elvis lover selling sexpizza's. So if any of these stories are about him he's just a rather normal computer-sicence student.

That guy in seebeedee's post is freaky. His artwork looks alot like this guys

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Wolfi

Which is worrying since he's a violent psychotic paedophile.

*wander back into the wilderness*
(peech, Wed 22 Mar 2006, 1:02, Reply)

A 3 year relationship
I met a girlfriend of 3 years through MSN, granted she did go my school but i had no idea she even existed because she was from the loser, weird, t'other half of the year. She was my head of technology's daughter too.

The same girlfriend had this stalker, cant remember the guys name but he always used to chat to her on MSN saying she was the only one who knew him properly and he used to cry on the net to her and shit. She knew what he looked like and where he lived it turned out not so far away from her, we saw him in Manchester and she freaked out haha.

Some randomer that my mate knew added me also on MSN, she lived in the same town as me, we swapped pics, she said i was fit, she was do-able, i thought what the fuck. Invited me round, she had a bit of a tache but i still knocked the backend out of her anyway. After that i blocked her because she started telling my she was schizophrenic and sometimes she was paralysed from the waist down. Jesus.

I would also like to add theres a lot of sad, sad people on here.
(PieEater, Wed 22 Mar 2006, 0:52, Reply)

yoiks
Met a bloke from a chat room...he had no jaw..the end
(bossycow, Wed 22 Mar 2006, 0:17, Reply)

Clucking Bell!!!

Stop the QOTW!!

We have a winner!

Seebeedee - a few post below.

You really,really,really have to listen to a few of the songs on the link he provided. I've just almost choked to death laughing.....

Go on - do it then vote for him....

Jesus Wept....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 23:21, Reply)

Where do I start....
This is my first post, I've been reading the qotw for years and nothing has inspired me quite like this question! Allow me to vent my spleen (for an hour or two!) ;)

In chronological order, my various rendevouzs with internet weirdos:

1. He was friendly and lovely and nice and I'd met him on ICQ. He got me drunk on vodka so I threatened him with a pool cue. He still stuck around. So I invited him to a family party in which my assembled family numbered over 60 and somewhat resembled a mob meeting. They got him drunk on vodka, he vomited all over the garden and the house and ran away home. I never saw him again and last I heard he'd moved 300 miles away.

2. Another ICQer. Online, funny and clever. In reality, a 15 year old spotty goth. I have nothing against 15 year olds or goths but I do have something against being persistantly shadowed by them and their terrible hair for almost a year. I think my mother told him I was dead in the end.

3. A good encounter! I advertised for models to help me with an article I was writing and one showed up complete with tight leather trousers and flowing locks. We became very good friends and spent many a drunken time together. He also woke me with a cup of tea every morning whilst still dressed in leather pants. Can't complain really.

4. Moved to a strange area alone and tried to make friends. Met a couple who were seemingly, refreshingly normal. It took three visits to their house before they asked me if I'd like to join their coven. Initiation through sexual contact only. I declined.

5. Had recently broken up with my long term boyfriend and on the rebound met up with someone from mIRC. Got together and somehow managed to ignore for three months the resemblance to Mick Hucknall, the cross dressing and the photos of him dressed as a pony, complete with ball gag and restraints. Came to my senses eventually, dumped him and found out years later that he had informed all the other IRC regulars that he'd dumped me because I wouldn't stop asking him to marry me.

6. A really sweet, nice guy from IRC. When drunk, he was perfectly acceptable but once I sobered up, absolutely nothing to talk about. A couple of sober mornings-after and we drifted apart. I gave it no thought until having bumped into him at another party, I introduced him to my new boyfriend, he got very upset and it eventually emerged that after a year with no contact, he had still believed we were partners. I still get insulted by my friends for dumping someone so callously.

7. A true case of the people bigging themselves up online. What was portrayed as a cool as fuck rocker with a lifestyle to match Tommy Lee's actually turned out to be a submissive, sweet little man with terrible hair, an obsession with maglites and a stomach churning habit of lapping up his bodily fluids from wherever he'd prematurely ejaculated and licking his lips with pleasure.

8. This guy was dangerous because he was just on the appealing side of insane and good at his subversion tactics, heh. Dirty and filthy and all manner of pervert. Never was quite the same after a night on absinthe in which I almost lost my nipple ring to his teeth and consequently covered him in blood.

9. Met a normal person! Been with him 4 years! Well done me :D
(axlette, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 23:10, Reply)

Seebeedee
I particularly like the song "Alice". My housemates were knocking on my door to ask why I was laughing so much!
(BrizzleDave, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 22:42, Reply)

Never met an interweb person
My current girlfriend however (who I met in real life) used to meet people. She lives in a small University city in Germany and they have a very strange and unique internet community over there. She has been on a few "blind dates" with people she's "met" on there and for some reason that really pisses me off - no idea why. Perhaps because she is still part of that online comunity where she gets points similar to hot or not that she checks when she's feeling down. I know its sad but I really get annoyed that I can make her happy myself.
Still I will hopefully be going to a b3ta bash soon so I too can join the interweb meeting peoples people
( SiX and his hat, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 22:23, Reply)

Is there anyone here who isn't an internet whore?
I know b3tans aren't exactly your average internet users, but wow, I had no idea!

The thing that surprises me the most though is what you're willing to do just for the sake of politeness. You're not OBLIGATED to sleep with the spawn of Beelzebub just because you've exchanged filthly messages online, you know!

Anyway, for this reason I haven't got much of a weirdo story. However, last night I did find myself counselling a 16 year old called Ryan. He was signing on to an online game with names such as i.want.sex and i.want.girl, and proceeding to ask if there were any hot girls here? You know the type. Anyway, I questioned him as to this, and he admitted he was "so lonly" because girls don't like him. Cue me with my big heart advising him to be himself, enjoy life and the girls will come, etc.

I know, I'm a wonderful person.
(Richard of York gained battles in vain, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 22:05, Reply)

Chicken Dippers
You get 25 chicken dippers in a packet and you pay £2.50 for this???? Tesco's own brand as well!!!!

Alright so its buy one, get one free at the moment but how long do offers like that last? And you're not telling me that they don't factor the cost of offers like that into the price! Come on now!

I'm not happy about this. If a major Tesco shareholder is reading this (and I bet you flicking are) then I can be contacted on 07725 109932 to discuss this. How about you throw in some condiments? Perhaps in a little ornate serving dish sellotaped to the bag of dippers.

Why won't my anger subside?????
(Andrew Avetoom, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 21:50, Reply)

California Whacko's
I met this bird online...I think it was Love @ aol.com or some online dating program which was free...So I figured, what the hell...

She was Asian-American, which according to her meant she was "half Asian and half American" (her own words, not mine, apparently "American" is a race these days).

Now I have to say, she was gorgeous, in that way that only Asian women can be. She sent me several pics and I kept pressing for more and asking her to STAGE pics, thinking that way I will know they arent of some model. So she did them. And I was impressed.

We exchanged cell numbers and talked once or twice a week...all well and good...until, this one Friday afternoon, I was heading to Kennedy Airport to catch a flight to meet a client in Florida for the weekend and my phone rings...it is her and SHE is at Newark Airport (in New Jersey). She flew in to surprise me. [nailbiting starts now]

I am concerned.

I go to Florida, the entire time I am down there I am getting calls from her and then hang ups with no voicemail. Im concerned, but I had never given her my address or anything, so there is little harm can come of all of it, right?

Sunday night, I am heading home from the airport via cab and as I get to my apartment (a brownstone on the upper east side) I notice there are about 40 small notes taped to my front door.

The nutter found my apartment and must have come by my place 40 different times throughout the weekend DESPITE knowing I wasn't home. Each of her notes was as if she hadnt written any of the other ones...literally. Very random thoughts and scary.

A couple weeks go by and I call her. She picks up, but claims to be her older Sister (an older Sister I must add that she never mentioned, despite going on loads and loads about her BROTHER being the ONLY other child in the family!) and that the girl I had been communicating with was in the hospital after suffering a nervous breakdown in New York City and barely making it back to California!

Needless to say I got a new cell (despite the major pain in the ass of having to update all my clients with the new info) and started considering leaving that apartment.

Sic Semper Specialissimus
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 21:47, Reply)

Scared of rejection
For fear of being rejected in cyberspace i have never extended the cyber hand of friendship to anyone. they can all fuck off.
(beebolbod for those that are hard of hearing - LISTEN, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 20:50, Reply)

Naughty,bad chat rooms
A while back,someone mentioned our Gorean friends,the real nutcases of BDSM.I used to be mates with an American lass who was into it and had even had a real life Gorean relationship with a bloke,to the extent of her having to walk behind him in public to show her subservience.Anyway,she introduced me to a woman from the Midlands who was into the scene.We spoke,cybered,all that fun stuff and to cut it short,eventually decided to meet.Now comes the fun bit.She was a big woman.That much I knew from a picture she sent.I was in a dry spell and have always taken the view that given a new opportunity,I'll have a little dabble and see if its worth doing again.She was also married.Her husband was also into the Gorean stuff,taking the role of a Master.Again,new experience and all that,besides which,I'd be lying if I didn't get a bit of a kick out of the prospect of banging someone's Mrs on the sly.
Now comes the really fun bit.She's a former junkie/booze-hound who goes to meetings.As her husband is going to be at home when I visit, (madness I know!) ,I have to pretend to be an ex junkie myself,having met her at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.The pretext is that I'm visiting her and attending a meeting there.
Anyway,I arrive,having fallen asleep on the train and missed the station once,and she's far bigger than you can possibly imagine,Darth.Still,I'm there and I think she's up for it.In person she's about as far from her online subservient persona as it gets.Also fine,as I wasn't expecting the whole slave treatment.We get to her house and I meet her husband.No way on God's green earth is this a Dom.He's one of the most nerdy chinless wonders I've ever seen.I was my nice,polite self and an uneventful night was had.
Next day,he's at work and she and I went out and about,shopping etc,still nothing overtly sexual happening.That evening,when we're out,ostensibly at a meeting,but really going for a meal,she stops in a lay-by,to "look at the clouds."
Yeah right.She was wanting a portion.We kissed for a bit and I got as far as ladling her frankly enormous jugs out and giving them some attention.I must add at this time that is was still light and by no means a secluded lay-by.It was right at the side of an A road.I'm a bad,bad exhibitionist boy.After a while,we repair to a restaurant.I had a beer,which I think went down a bit badly,what with her addiction problems.During the meal,she proceeds to tell me that she would tell her husband what happened if he were to ask.Wonderful,I think.I'm going to end up getting stabbed by King Dork.But then,I could still get my end away,so I'd risk it.
When we got back,she told me he was asleep upstairs,so we got hot and heavy in the living room.In retrospect,we were very loud.She told me that her husband only had a small dick (as big as her index finger) and couldn't satisfy her,sort of thing.We didn't go the whole way,so I went to bed with an uneasy combination of extreme horniness and lying awake listening for an angry husband descending the stairs.Fortunately,I lived.The next day,he went to work early,but she and I both slept in,so we again didn't seal our unholy union,as I had a train to catch home.We did plan to meet again,although it never did quite work out.She did tell me though that the night after we got back to her's and were getting down to it,he wasn't sleeping,but was upstairs listening.I imagine he was fwapping himself blind.Its probably good we didn't meet again.God knows what I'd've ended up involved in.Probably being watched by him from the wardrobe.Shit.Now I think of it,the dirty bastard probably had a hidden camera on us.I feel soiled.
Oh.I had more length/girth than him.His wife told me.
(archroy Get down wi' yer bad self., Tue 21 Mar 2006, 20:46, Reply)

Looking to find other musicians
I used to have a few songs up on MP3.com - way back in 1999.

A couple of years later I was still getting emails through the MP3.com website, and one day I got an invitation from a guy in London who wanted to work with other musicians.

OK I thought, and looked at his webpage.

- Holy Shit! -

He was a weirdo satanic dude, with a whole load of BIZARRE mp3's available to hear. They sound a bit like a karaoke klingon opera being played on a wobbly tape deck:

dialspace.dial.pipex.com/town/estate/xdz75/
(look under 'Songs')

Oh, and don't forget to check out the wonderful artwork:

dialspace.dial.pipex.com/town/estate/xdz75/artwork.htm


I never did get back to him...
(Seebeedee, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 20:17, Reply)

Met a weirdo on the internet...
...whilst frequenting chatrooms dedicated to a certain Boy Wizard. I wish i could say i was young and foolish but i was 19 on a year out.

So me and the Weirdo got on quite well. shared the same sense of humour, taste in books and film. He had a wife. We exchanged emails. He had two kids. We exhanged phone numbers. Next thing i know I'm put down in the divorce papers as the actual actual actual reason for Weirdo and his wife splitting up!

Then he tells me he's in love with a 17 year old and he never wants to speak to me again. Fairynuff. He was a freak. And ginger.
(elegoo Huh?, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 19:38, Reply)

What was I thinking?
Its the age old story, boy meets girl on the interweb, boy falls for girl, boy and girl live happily ever after....That is until we actualy meet.

All went well for about a week, then the cracks in the acting started to show.

I could handle that she was otherwise attached to another bloke. I was happy with the fact that she was bi (Oh come on, two ladys at once was a prospect that I was looking forward to)

What really got my goat was that she was knocking off my then best mate at the same time. Oh well, NEXT!!!!!
(lordfish ,Master of the Mushroom People, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 19:09, Reply)

No fat chicks.
One and only foray into "internet dating". Mate belonged to match.com or something and forwarded me the dregs. Nice of him I thought.

Anyway, got along well on the phone. Lived a couple of miles away. Arranged to meet in a bar (in Ware, Herts).

You know that bit in the Office Xmas special where Brent is outside talking to camera moaning about the quality of his 'dates' and the large lady walks up and he does a marvellously timed "oh for fucks sa..."? Well he nicked that moment from me. And like Brent, she saw me do it. Can't fake the eyes....

So we carried on the charade and to be fair, she was alright and was prepared to get past my initial preconceptions. I however wasn't. I really am not that grown up as I'm sure some of you know if you look at my previous answers.

I was trapped. We ended up in restaurant that appeared to be a shrine to Gillian Taylforth. My date, then did what can only be described as , spazzed out. For 5 minutes. This consisted of looking a bit weird and freezing. She 'locked up'. I thought she was taking the piss. I almost poked her with my fork and then she just resumed where she left off not missing a beat nor acknowledging that anything had just happened.

Because it was persisting it down outside I walked her home. Stupid stupid stupid. She immediately put on a CD that I recognised - "oh yes I bought it when you told me you liked them". Jesus. Go go go.

She made me sit on the couch and she sat on the floor crosslegged. Showing me quite clearly that she had no underwear on.

As i started to run, she grabbed my arm and said "don't go, please. I haven't been fucked since 2001"

I didn't stay. Not even with yours mate.

Lessons learnt:
1. Always, always, always insist on a recent photo. No head shots.
2. All internet girls are fat*
3. If they 'lock up' for 5 minutes, theres something horribly wrong with them.

*based on the one girl I met.

IHROOC.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 18:25, Reply)

I've never met anyone on the internet
Maybe that's because I'm a cyber-hermit. Or maybe because I'm a long-time lurker, first-time poster. Do I hear the echo of a distant cherry popping?

Actually, once there was this bloke who tried to flirt with my girlfriend by email. He had a name like "weeble" or some such similar. She was trying to score some designs from him for a t-shirt as a birthday present for me. Mind you, she was the weird one, not him.

/slander
(great_nymundo is not so great any more, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 17:12, Reply)

1st of Many
I have met my fair share of people from the t'interweb and yes, as other b3tans have said, some are ok. There is, however, a large number of absolute freaks, liars, retards and psychos out there. This is the story of just one that i met.

Chatting randomly (cant even remember how it started) to some girl from Liverpool. She seemed a nice person and, whilst never going to win Miss Universe, was a far cry from ugly. So time passes and we start talking about meeting up. Credit to her, when the subject came up she did confess that she was a single mother of 2.

No worries, thought I, and then things started going wrong! About a week before the arranged meet, she texts me to say she needs to talk. I give her a call and she has decided to come clean and tell me the truth. Its more like 3 sprogs, not 2. A little miffed that she lied but still having some respect for her telling the truth, i think nothing of it and the meet is still arranged.

So im driving up there some time later and i get another text. Being the nice careful driver i am, i read it doing 90 up the M5. Turns out she has figured that ill soon realise its not 3 at all when i get there and tells me "honestly" that its 4, But no more!

Short pitstop at the services later and deep thought brings me to the decision that at least she is a go-er (i know, morals are high on this one eh?) and i continue my journey.

So we meet in a pub, have a couple of drinks and she suggests retiring back to hers. But what about her kids, i ask. Not to worry, babysitter to the rescue apparently. So off we go back to hers and things heat up a little.

Fortunately for me, the babysitter chooses this time (both of us hardly dressed but not quite got down to the dirty yet) to return said kids. ALL 6 OF THEM!

I kid you not, the girl was late 20s and had 6 kids!

About to stand up and walk out, i remember the drinks partaken of earlier and realise there is no way i can drive back down home (army camp!) reeking of booze. Not worth the risk. So i have no choice but to stay the night and think of Maggie Thatcher and blame the alcohol for the lack of performance on the old chap. Hey, with her track record, would you have slept with her?

Left in the morning and never contacted again. Lucky escape methinks.

\sorry for legnth, I do like my politicians!
(ReaperTG will appear behind your headboard on..., Tue 21 Mar 2006, 16:56, Reply)

im 36
and i once went to meet what to my understanding was a petite 12 year old. turned out to be a fucking 46 year old bloke that ended up raping me . i didnt like the taste of my own medicine i can tell you that much havent groomed any liccle kiddies since dont fancy another bleeding arse.
(fwack bang on it, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 16:52, Reply)

yes i met my current lesbian transexual boyfriend/ girlfriend
with no ears and an unsual liking for sticking large knives up his/her rectum on the internet. first time we met we went to kfc and he/she asked for a fucking mini fillet to be served right into her/his rectum. then he murdered a small litter of kitterns and drank their blood. after that he told me that he/she murdered hisg/her mum and ate her intestines for his saturday morning fry up. ok maybe none of this is true but most of you are fucking wierd never meet people you speak to on the internet especially no one ofa b3ta you will end up crying to be let out of the dark cold water butt at the end of their garden slowly dying of being a fucking moron for meeting up with them.
(fwack bang on it, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 16:46, Reply)

Came to meet us a 4am
One night round a mates we were all in some yahoo chatroom being really annoying by taking over the microphone session and singing badly about really really stupid things. Gautemalan Ribena trees I think. Some people were loving our crazy lyrics but some were coming out with the usual internet flames about sucking, but one who liked us asked where we were from which we replied to. It turned out she was only a few miles away! we looked at her pic which was a bit ming, but we still invited her out anyway.

Oh yeah it was 4 in the fucking morning!

She got a taxi over to where we were and understandbly my mate didn't want some internet nutter invading his house so we went out of his house to meet her. She was a right heffer, about 25 (we were all about 16 back in those days) and was just wierd. We just walked around feeling realy uncomfortable and sitting in a park which was cold as fuck. She chain smoked so much she had already done more than 40 fags by 9am. We all went to a shopping centre that morning and while she went to the toilet we ran off cos she was starting to scare us.

Never again I say! NEVER!!
(Jimmy Large Is huffing Jenkem on, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 16:41, Reply)

Only the lonley
you are all very very sad people, please please get lives.. if only for the sake of future generations.
(simpson, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 16:34, Reply)

I'm so weird no one would ever want to meet me.
(this week i am mostly - medicated, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 15:05, Reply)

I met my current girlfriend
on a BDSM dating site. I posted a profile whilst bored, she messaged me, and out of vague curiosity I add her to MSN. We message each other for a few weeks, meet up and within a month I'm her girlfriend, helping her through coming out to her family as transsexual and being the lovely lady's personal shopper up Oxford and Regent Street. S'really quite wonderful. :)

Sorry for the unfunniness, unweirdness and nonsexual content, but you should have seen some of the messages the other dating site members sent me. I still feel a little squeamish thinking about them...

(I love you, Emma!)
( Bats, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 14:41, Reply)

If Your bad you go to hull
Back when I was 19 I left college and agreed to go and work for my father for a couple of months in a boatyard on Hull, this involved me sitting around, reading the paper and saying things like “I could have my father fire you” whenever someone moaned about my total lack of work and motivation. Now being a country boy from the south Hull was a bit of an eye opener for me, I was particularly intrigued by the ladies of the night (but did not indulge … honest).

Anyway to cut a long story short I’d started talking to some girl who lived on Hull whom we’ll call “A” on AIM a little while before I left for my 2 months of work there, after I got talking to my co workers on my first day, they all invited me out that night. Upon meeting them at a pub called The Dram Shop (if memory serves) it soon became clear that their new purpose in life was to get the bosses son as drunk as possible and extract as many embarrassing stories about my father from me as they could. Now I have never been a violent drunk but a rather emotional one instead so by midnight I’m sat on the floor in the middle of the lobby in the hotel where we are all staying crying my eyes out and telling everyone how they don’t understand me.

The next day I had possibly the worst hangover I have ever experienced, made worse by the fact I was supplied with some coke and mixed my drunks all night, I decided to take things a little easier that night and I text the girl whom I had been talking to on AIM and she said to meet her that evening in The Dram Shop (a bad sign right away). That evening rolled around and I sat at the bar casually looking expectantly at every girl that walked in until in walked what can only be described as a blue haired punk/goth nightmare, now I have done the whole hair dye thing and thought that whatever the evening brought could only be an improvement on the night before so I gave her a chance.

After her mumbling for an hour and me trying to find ways of asking her to repeat everything she said so I might understand it she offered to take me out and about, within 5 minutes of getting into her car we had gone up on pavements, hit dustbins, gone through red lights whilst she played industrial metal as loud as she could, I then noticed there were an alarming amount of knives in the car and when I asked what they were for she just laughed and said “fun”!!!!. Upon arriving outside another pub I asked her how long she’d been driving, her reply was “oh on and off for years, I can only take the car when my parents are out as I don’t have a licence”, It turned out that not only did she not have a driving licence but she had never actually even had a driving lesson. Already startled by my encounter with the female antichrist I then realised she had driven me to the middle of nowhere and I had no idea how to get back to town alone if I had to. Inside I met some of her friends, and watched as a man of about 80 put his cock into the cage that contained a topless dancer (in the pub in the village where I’d grown up all we had was a juke box), for about 20 minutes one of her male friends tried to grab my old chap every chance he got while the rest of them talked about knives, guns and fuck knows what else.

I said i had to go make a call on my mobile outside and then ran as fast as my little legs would carry me, I eventually hailed a taxi and made it back to my hotel and vowed to only to go out with my co workers for the rest of my stay in Hull. I have never been back to Hull since and to be honest have little desire to, nor have I ever entered a chat room again.

This is my first time so you have no choice but to excuse my length
(Sub-Lingual Hates You, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 14:37, Reply)

you do get some wierdos
I never met someone off of the interweb, but my mate started chatting to some girls on a steps fan website. She met up with them and they turned out to be real. Imagine that - people who actually like steps' music!
(ecilA Alice...has nothing to do, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 14:34, Reply)

Meeting others people internet weirdo's..
I was chatting to girl for about 3 months. She worked in a crap job as a secretary, I was a very bored bookie. We chatted about everything and nothing, and not too much about that. Ended up with me going down to London to see some mates, and me telling her all about it as she lives down there.

Cometh the evening, we are on the tube into town and i get a message on my mobile from Julia, asking me where we are going and can she come and meet me. My mates are all saying she'll be a 6'8" lorry driver called Maurice from Preston, but they'll all have a look at her mates anyway. So we tell her the name of the bar we are in, and she says she'll be there in 20 minutes.

So in this bar in Soho, and in walks my friend Julia and about 6 mates. Recognised her from a very fine couple of pictures taken at her works do which I haven't shown the lads. She is truely lovely and well worth meting. Rest of her mates are ugly. That is the only way to put it. They all look like bags of spanners. And thats being as kind as possible.

Over walks Julia, gives me a kiss and a hug and whispers in my ear "these are the other people I've met online and they are all freaks - truely weird. Help me out her..."

Luckily most of the lads are up for some fun, so they distract the others whilst me and Julia disappear upstairs to another bar and have a nice quiet drink. Turned out great, ends with a proper kiss and cuddle before going our seperate ways. The lads all managed to run off/ger rid of other ladies before meeting in a casino, late at night.

Not sure if this qualifies, but I like the story...
(gjb006, Tue 21 Mar 2006, 14:13, Reply)