We had a food technology teacher
who was about four feet tall.

No prizes for guessing her name: The Little Chef. Oh god, we were so inventive.

There was also an RE teacher with the surname Bilko, and hence had Sgt. added in front.

And not a nickname, but we had an RE teacher with the surname Church. Quite apt really, and better than any nickname anyone could think of.
(Mr._Pickles, Sun 21 May 2006, 13:28, Reply)

Just remembered
The School ones, had a mate called Yogesh who 6 weeks after joining the school was re christened by the RS teacher to become Yogi bear. And my personal favourite didnt need a nickname, he was our headmaster and was called Mr Kidd.

Which was fine until he sent a letter out to our parents and we found out his full name..
Roger D Kidd.

What a name to be a teacher with eh?
(luckymcdanger, Sun 21 May 2006, 13:22, Reply)

Supply Teacher
"Mr Mcnamara"

Charlene announced that he was, in fact,

"Mr Smack my narna".

It took him 45 minutes to do the register.
(Hanargh, Sun 21 May 2006, 13:21, Reply)

Mr Pencil
We had a supply teacher at school for a few weeks,who was a very thin African guy,with a bit of a lollypop head. His name was Mr Crensil,but,us being a classful of 12-13 year olds,we called him Mr Pencil. He didnt get the joke,and got quite irate,shouting in his accent-y way "My name is Mr Crensil,not Mr Pencil!"
(Miharu, Sun 21 May 2006, 13:14, Reply)

One of my science teachers was Mr. Cumaraswamy.
He was Mr. Cucumber Sarnie.
( Bob Todd whee, Sun 21 May 2006, 12:46, Reply)

The breath of satans arse
A girl i went to school with was a repulsive little human being in that she was very unattractive,but tried to be 'sexy' by wearng lots of girly pink stuff. Also,she had breath that could knock down a rhino from 12 feet away.

Anyway,me and my gay best mate were reading a thing that said about your favorite colour and what relevence it had to your style in bed. It said pink mean kinky. Suddenly we both thought "Nicola!!" (that being the name of assmouth).

From then on she was known as Stinky-Kinky,or occasionally Stinky-Kinks.

Also have a friend called Todger,cos she is short,fat and hairy.
(Miharu, Sun 21 May 2006, 12:44, Reply)

I know of a lot of 'em
First off is my mate, Jonny, who has been nicknamed 'Bondage' for reasons I'm not sure ANYBODY knows.

Another guy I know collects hoovers, so we affectionately call him 'hoover boy' (witty, I know)

My supervisor at work nicknamed my boss, Dave, 'Davey Ravey'. I'm not sure about that one, either. I asked my supervisor why she called him that and she just said "because that's what he is: 'Davey Ravey'". Most helpful, thanks. Well, he's nicknamed her 'trouble', now, but it hasn't caught on quite as well amongst the other staff.

Another girl I know nicknamed her Mum, 'Mummypoos' which became abbreviated over time to 'Pooface'.

And me? I've had 'Biggles' and 'Mr Bigglesworth', due to my surname, which I'm not going to post here, because I don't trust you lot not to be stalkers.
(Icefox2k, Sun 21 May 2006, 12:41, Reply)

i have 3 nicknames at work
they are samwise, chock and thrush

i grew up at school with the name chunk
( Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Sun 21 May 2006, 12:35, Reply)

a strange one...
Ok. I once worked in a popular computer game retail environment (or shop).
We had a bunch of us... There was Ste trotter who ended up as 'Trottski' or the 'trotter'. Then there was ste deluce who ended up with 'Bruce deluce'. Then there was me, Leonard which changed to 'Lentil', 'Leonardo', 'lennyboy', 'leopard', 'Lentin' etc...
Mike Battersby became 'battyboy' (although not to his face as he was our manager), or occasionaly we called him 'Les' (les battersby)



and the funniest was a guy called kev (who was deaf). Once we shouted across the shop for him to grab a copy of the game 'splinter cell'... and he replied 'Wasp and sell?'.... I mean wtf?

So forever onwards we called him 'The Wasp'... and even better than that our new deputy manager once asked why we called him wasp... quick as a flash 'Bruce' replied... it's cos his ear buzzes... Laugh? I nearly spat kenco out of my nose.

Length and shit.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sun 21 May 2006, 12:30, Reply)

Where do I start...
Having a name like Isaac is unusual to begin with. When in my baby years I was given names such as "eye-kak" (phonetically speaking) by my verbally challenged friends...

Moving on to later years, I was called "Ike" or "Ikey" by many people (though both the people who called me that and I did not realise that it was also a derogative? name for Jews). That name still persists today.

At about the same time as that name originated, some malicious friends began a kind of rhyme which went 'Ikey pikey porkey pine' which was used to infuriate me whenever possible. I eventually pretended not to hear it whenever it was uttered and people stopped trying to bait me with it.

In my teenage years I started a website business called 'Zack Design'. Even before that people kept asking me if I was called 'Zack' but I would disillusion them. Now, however my clients kept calling me that (I don't correct them because that confuses the marketing thing). I now have two identities - business Zack and normal Isaac.

If that wasn't bad enough, one of my clients began calling me 'Zack Attack' which I thought was quite funny. So I let him do it as long as that business relationship lasted.

I also have red hair. So I was called Matchstick and Redhead as well (tall and skinny with red hair, go figure). I no longer have the same hue of red (quite dark now) so I no longer get called that.

Other people called me 'the Pig' because I ate food quite fast and sometimes with my mouth open due to excitement and trying to talk. And it actually hurt to get called that cause I usually only ever committed such horrendous crimes in their presence...
No apple logies for length.
(satellite blows, Sun 21 May 2006, 12:14, Reply)

Not me, but...
a kid at school was called William Cramp.
and lo, Willy Cramp was diagnosed.
(Idiot parents!)
(jezmck .com, Sun 21 May 2006, 12:02, Reply)

...
My surname is Marks. My dad and I share the same nickname - Skids. This has since been applied to various things - my old car was known as the Skidmobile, and every time I do something cool or unusual it's regarded as "Skidtastic".

It could be worse I suppose - my previous nickname was Monkeyboy, since I used to climb everything.

I also have a mate called Dave who, when riding home from the pub on his bike, crashed straight into the back of a skip - and ended up in the skip.
He has henceforth been known as Skippy, or "Bush Kangaroo" - the latter has stuck more recently since he went on holiday to Australia.

His brother Chris is about 6 foot, very thin, and stammers over several words in every sentence, making him difficult to understand.
He therefore gets referred to as Boomhauer (the guy from King of the Hill).

Can't think of any more right now.
( wastedindustry yes indeed sir, Sun 21 May 2006, 11:30, Reply)

My real name is Will, and so I immeadiately got the nickname "Willy" upon entering infant school. Seriously, I thought five year olds were more inventive than that.

And just yesterday someone called me it. For the first time in five years.

My second name's Webb, why couldn't they call me Spider or something? It just had to be Willy.
(CatfaceJones, Sun 21 May 2006, 10:52, Reply)

My surname is Fletcher
And I therefore get called either "Fletcher" or "Fletch". Yeah, really fucking original. Because no-one else in my entire family has that "nickname" or anything. Retards.

I've always tried to get people to call me M-jazz or Hellhammer, but it's never caught on :(
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Sun 21 May 2006, 10:36, Reply)

longest name ever?
i had a friend we called- jasonbrianfuckthefuckersbuttgreasezibzibidylewis.

its a long story, too long
(biggiantmat, Sun 21 May 2006, 9:45, Reply)

My Brothers mate Ian:
is called Willan (For some reason, apparantly something to do with draw master willan from the Lottery??) or Chewy (Short for Chewbacca)

His other mate Paul is just called The Stick, or just Stick because he is so damn skinny.
( Weasel13, Sun 21 May 2006, 9:31, Reply)

My own nicknames are fairly offensive:
Cunt, Weaselfelcher (Unfounded), The Greek (not because I am Greek since I am from the UK but because I live in Cyprus)...
Basically whenever I answer the phone to a friend I recieve a torrent of abuse eg: "Alright you fucking cuntface?"
( Weasel13, Sun 21 May 2006, 9:29, Reply)

A friend with a complex.
A long time friend called Daniel has the nickname Fatdan for obvious reasons... Nobody calls him Dan, or Daniel, it is either Fatdan or a shortened version of his Surname... Which is Chaventre...

Unlucky!
( Weasel13, Sun 21 May 2006, 9:25, Reply)

oh god, so many.
*sigh* being fat and unpopular,and having a difficult to spell name, I got dozens. The ones I despised least were Ami, A-C, ammick, painty-face (a result of an altercation between me and a tin of emulsion) and button-hutton. *wince* my sister got called Jabba the Hutt-on once. one evil twonk called me "lesbopenguin" but I wasn't too offended because A) he was a retard and b) His name was Wellend. Oh the joy.the many many hours of vicious abuse he got for that name...I feel vindicated.
(Skarlett_nailz, Sun 21 May 2006, 9:00, Reply)

The ghost of christmas past
I have always been very pale-skinned, almost to the point of phosphorescence. I’m not albino, I just can’t tan to save my life.

This is a bit of a disadvantage when you go to highschool in Africa.

I was generally considered to be a fairly amiable fellow, so “Casper the Friendly Ghost” popped up as a good potential nickname for me. There was a fine balance as to whether it would evolve into just “Casper” or “Ghost”, and while I did get both, I was mainly called Ghost for most of my time there.

I quite liked it.
(arvana, Sun 21 May 2006, 8:59, Reply)

Ellie wellie poosy bum
From a guy i know called Elliott

I think he was generally unpopuler on this planet. He never did find out why his mother and her friends started calling him this from birth as a "cute" baby nickname , but says its really not funny age 12 when she says it infront of a girl he liked.

Hes now 22 and has issues.
( Damion International - now taking orders., Sun 21 May 2006, 8:35, Reply)

Sad but true...
There was a boy at my school who was called 'Isiah' because his 'one eyes higher than the other'.
It was too - poor sod.
(DrTugnut, Sun 21 May 2006, 8:13, Reply)

another one of mine that never caught on

An amiable hippie called Casper - Casper the Friendly Man.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 21 May 2006, 5:10, Reply)

Our P.E. teacher's name was Mr Arnott.
He was a big, imposing, scary man to all us young 'uns. A bit of a hard-nut, if you will.

Anyway, Mr Arnott wore shorts all the time, hence us rechristening him Arnie Shortsanegger.

We were all of seven or eight when we thought this up, and the punnery makes me giggle even today.
(scoob666 Ain't Nuthin' Ta F' Wit, Sun 21 May 2006, 5:09, Reply)

suggestions for charles pereguin john langton

anything involving 'penguin' or 'Wankton' is probably too lame to bother with.

Maybe Large Lord Fauntenroy, especially if he's a bit stocky?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 21 May 2006, 5:08, Reply)

welll,
My brother has a party around christmas everyear where him and me our sister and all his mates head up to some youth hostel somewhere and have a bit of a shindig.
Our Second name is Robertson
This year it became "Camp Robotstorm" with "captain Robotstorm" in charge "Miss Robotstorm" as the eldest robotstorm in second command, and I became "Axel Robotstorm" (names Alex)
unfortunatelly my mates at uni found out so now they chant "GO GO AXEL ROBOTSTORM" at inconveniant occations.

Also I had very lame friends at Secondary school and became know as Alex Palex.
or just Palex.
yes.
They put a P in front of my name. IT DOESNT EVEN MEAN ANYTHING.

bastards.
( Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Sun 21 May 2006, 5:04, Reply)

The Queen on China Town
My colleague and I refer to our boss as The Madame, since she lets every other department at work screw us over any way they like and then she gets paid for it.
(pitt bull badger ...., Sun 21 May 2006, 4:44, Reply)

There was a girl back when i was at school........
....her name was Kate. She put a kipper up her minge and earned the nickname 'Fishkate'.

My nickname is 'silky' because an anagram of my name is Silky Winkle. Not as bad as my mate who's nickname is 'Dog Molester'.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Sun 21 May 2006, 3:57, Reply)

Captain Underpants!
Is what I have called one of my mates. For resons unknown to anyone when he is totally shit faced drunk at a pub he likes to remove his pants & hit the dance floor. He has tried to palm off the name to other one of our sick little friends, but it doesn't work. Every time we go out some one askes.. Where is Captain underpants?

Guess you have to be there.
( Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Sun 21 May 2006, 3:15, Reply)