Got my pubes out
at a party once, and earned myself the nickname "Ginger Pubes"
(Nobsocks, Sun 21 May 2006, 2:42, Reply)

My girfriend....
& I like to go for walks. I prefer to walk where hills are involved. She prefers to take a stroll along the lake where we live (flat ground). Any way one day we were walking up a gradual hill & I noticed she was falling behind, so I simply turned around & said "Come on Musi!". Naturally she had a puzzled look on her face as you probably do now. When I got to the top & waited for her to catch up I taunted her with the previous statement. When she did catch up I explained that she would make a good Muslim wife one day as she will not walk in front of her man. To this day I still do it anytime & anywhere when she slows down. I think it pisses her off at times, but she does take it well. I love my Musi, she has a great sense of humour. (one has to if they are to put up with me). We dont go for as many walks now for some reason.
( Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Sun 21 May 2006, 1:56, Reply)

Who dat?
My family has so many nicknames for me that when my brother-in-law received a birthday card from me which I'd signed with my proper name, he asked my sister, "Who's this?"

Also, after I'd been working at my office for about a year and a half, some of the senior suits in my section (of 15 people) were having a chat and my name came up. "Who's that?" inquired one of them. (The reply from one of the others, reportedly, was, "Oh, you know, that chick who wore black all the time and now she wears all this weird Indian shit.")

Anyway, other than "Whodat" there are several nicknames I've been given: Riffraff, Raven, Hunchback Pig, That Blonde Bitch, and Gori (Urdu vernacular for "white chick").

Nowadays, most people just call me "Sister." I'm happy with that.
(socialised_medicine quietly returns to Saskatchewan for Lurkfest 2007, Sun 21 May 2006, 0:58, Reply)

A few other names I was called..
Easter egg and pinky. Apparantly it was because I am fat and had hot pink hair at one point :P




*I brought that one on myself.
(gingerdeadgirl, Sun 21 May 2006, 0:46, Reply)

My nickname
to some i am known as oddjob, to others Dtheodore. I look like oddjob from james bond. Also known as Dtheodore (silent D) one of my friends called me the "fat chimpmunk" once it sort of stuck, then one day after being royally pissed off i revealed my real name **** D *******
i pointed out that my middle name DID start with a D, so they then went to add a silent d to the name, thus i became Dtheodore Destroyer of Worlds.
(weefreemen102, Sun 21 May 2006, 0:36, Reply)

Mr Kyle
With pereguin as a name it has to be Falco as a nick
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Sun 21 May 2006, 0:29, Reply)

a REAL name this one.....
its not quite a nickname, but my one of my mate's full name is---

---charles pereguin john langton---

he'll fucking kill me if he reads this.

any suggestions on a nickname?
i'll crawl back down my hole now, ta
(mr kyle he's a silly bastard, the one who posted before me, Sat 20 May 2006, 23:56, Reply)

People in my local town...
... are geniuses with nicknames. So we have:

Death Camp Dave (he had a long black coat)
Coffin Face John
and
Brian Wardrobe (boring, ugly girl)

that I can remember at the moment.
(primate, Sat 20 May 2006, 23:38, Reply)

At least mine were never this bad...
I had a string of random nicknames as a kid, and all through school, mostly revolving around shortened versions of my name but with bits added on. Example: Allinator, Allisaur, Lallison, etc.

I had a teacher call me Shotgun for two years of middle school because there were two of us with the same name in homeroom, but the other spelled her name with only one L. Hence, I started off as 'Double Barrel Allison' and ended up as 'Shotgun'. Better than everyone else in the class, whom he called Pookie.

But, there were some people I knew back home who had the worst nicknames. A friend of mine got the nickname PigFucker, and no one knew why. Someone once said it was because he was short enough to roger a pig. There was also a friend of my brother's who apparently was a difficult birth, so his own mother, hopped up on painkillers nicknamed him 'Stinky Fat Pig'. Twenty some odd years later, people still call him Stinky, or Stinky Fats instead of Dylan. The worst part was he grew so accustomed to it, that's how it introduced himself to people all the time.
(chaoticmatter, Sat 20 May 2006, 23:27, Reply)

Swampy
After this incident:

b3ta.com/questions/shame/post44217/
(mehmeh 0% witty, Sat 20 May 2006, 22:18, Reply)

Guilty
I feel horrifically guilty now, but at the time it was really quite creative for a hormonal teenager.

There was a new girl in our A level year. Through various conversation we learned that she worked part time at the local chippy and she wanted to join the police force.

We promptly took the piss, and there was much talk of greasiness and wanting to become a "pig", and in that moment of inspiration I coined her "Greasy Pig".

I feel guilty now, because at the time she had been put up a year for being clever. However she later dropped out and had a child at a young age. I can't help thinking I destroyed her ambitions...

Poor Greasy Pig...

Length, girth, yes I have...
(stubbledchin, Sat 20 May 2006, 21:00, Reply)

Worst Nicknames Ever
I was a short-ass antagonistic numpty when I was a kid, 'Gimli' was what I got for a most of it, though now I'm technically taller and less aggressive than anyone who called me that. We really terrorised this kid who is probably deeply insecure to this day of the ribbing, poor kid got the nickname 'egg-nipples' more or less constantly right through school owing to his 'mammorous assets' (love that term), he threw tantrums all the time because of it, the reaction made it impossible not to continue though, we were inventive with references, the training bra we found and then donated to him was a bit harsh though perhaps. We gave another mate, a lady's man usually, the nickname "Lucy" after he got off with an immensely fat girl going by that very name after drinking a fair few guinnesses and he still cringes now at the name. Brings a new meaning to the term 'a pint and a bag of pork scratchings'. I got 'Phantom' during a 3.5 month straight binge of whiskey without a day out, most of the time in the dark on my own. Its 'ripple' or 'raspberry' a lot now, (rhyming slang, of course) oweing to the fact I've fecked myself up through drinking so much booze over the last couple of years of uni that I can barely walk now, karma is fun isn't it? Still, at least I'm not fat.
(goddamnsonofabitch, Sat 20 May 2006, 20:55, Reply)

My nickname is 'Bizatch'
In the place I used to work, one of my mates was quite into his hip hop lingo and kept calling me 'Rizatch' as my name is Rich. After a while he added 'Bitch' to the end and it some how stuck and has followed me around for almost 5 years now. Yay!
(Pigpen was 'ere on, Sat 20 May 2006, 20:09, Reply)

I am oft known as Baby Lungs...
...as I can't handle my smoke
(Moo Lefty Drinking From His Own Udders since, Sat 20 May 2006, 19:50, Reply)

my poor friend was known as 'Pig-Fucker'.

I don't know. You fuck one pig...
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 20 May 2006, 19:43, Reply)

Swervy
We've got a mate called Pete The Swerve, why ? cos he's a swerving cunt !
(Murphysbone, Sat 20 May 2006, 19:32, Reply)

Rocky
Used to call this kid Rocky - he loved it, thought it (and he) was the dog's. Until someone told him that Rocky wasn't to do with his Sly Stallone-ness, more to do with the fact that he was as dumb as a box of rocks....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Sat 20 May 2006, 19:12, Reply)

What an ogre!
While on the way to a party at a clubhouse, a friend and myself were completely lost. We figured the best course of action was to phone up direct enquries, then the clubhouse itself and ask for directions.

The barman was less than helpful, as he didn't have a clue where we were. So, I kindly asked him to put one of our friends on the phone who had already arrived. However, this proved to be a problem as the place was full and the Barman asked me to be more specific.

"His name is Gary" I said, figuring this was specific enough.

Off the barman goes, then 5 minutes later he comes back and says he can't find him. I figure that I really need to be specific this time so I give as good a description as I can.

"He's big, fat, ugly, wears a denim jacket, has crap hair etc etc"

Off the barman goes, but again no luck, Gary is no where to be found. By this time I'm thinking it's probably better to give up.

"Oh, for fuck sake...umm...well" I mutter.

at this point my mate takes the phone from me and says to the barman

"he looks like shrek."

We hear laughter down the phone, then the barman composes himself and says "Oh right, just a sec".

a couple of seconds later I hear Gary's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Hey, it's Gary, what do you want?"

Much laughter follows. I couldn't believe that the barman had actually found him cos of that.

Guess what Gary's nickname is now?
( Regger, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:55, Reply)

The guy across the hall where i live
tall and muscular, yet with a disproportionately small head, beady eyes and a large jawbone

we call him "early man" behind his back.
( AgentMuu hentai coordination, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:39, Reply)

i don't know their real names...
first post. the post with the most

my geordie dad seems to have the nicknaming mad skills. the best i have ever come up with was 'Big Gay Dan' or 'Leukemia boy', but apparently my dad has a poetic soul.
his slack jawed chum unfortunately has but one tooth- i know him as 'Juanita' (one-eater.see?)
the indian man (lord help us) who stole his girlfriend 30 years ago is 'Mahatma-coat'.
my personal favourite- some poor unfortunate man at the local pub known to everyone as 'Spot' due to his rather large facial mole. he's been Spot all his life, until he had this monstrosity removed. (by god it was hairy) he is now -and will forever be- Spotless.


back to my cave then...
(missmissy, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:36, Reply)

Stair Dweller
Wakefield College Music Dept - the halcyon days of 1995 - 1996. There was a kid called Neil, not very talkative in fact I only heard him speak about twice. He used to shun the social whirlpool of the common room and sit instead on the stairs. The college being populated by eighteen year olds over exposed to the dramatic operatic posturings of heavy metal titled him, for ever after, 'The Stair Dweller' and that was how he was known to everyone.

To the extent that one of the tutors was heard to ask 'has anyone seen Neil Steadweller today?' Pfft!
(Kazza , loathing myself so you don't have to, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:29, Reply)

Squeaky and freaky
2 guys. One of them is really short and the other is really tall. We nicknamed them 'Shrek And Donkey' This was really funny to watch them get wound up about it and then waddle of hand in hand! *note - they weren't gay*

2 years later we got bored of 'Shrek and Donkey' because "donkey" had more or less caught up height wise, so it didn't have the same humour to it. We called them 'Squeaky and freaky' instead. Freaky would freak out and Squeaky would then echo him in this high pitched wail sound - all this without them realising how stupid they sounded!! Legend
(Vicki105, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:19, Reply)

French Bastard...
We all thought my mate Will lookes a bit like Will Shakespeare, so we always used to call him that. Then, someone pointed out that he was less Will Shakespeare, more French Pornographer.
And because we didn't want to give him the credit of being anything to do with porn, he just became French.
So now everyone calls him Frenchy, you see somethng French you throw it at him, ringing him up and pretending to be his long lost father the King of France, and so on and so forth.
It's gotten so out of hand that we threw a French party for him for his birthday, complete with a French buffet of baggettes and brie and all the french fancies he can eat.

He's never even been to France.
(what_bus, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:14, Reply)

Real name: Jeremy
Prefered nickname: Jez
Actual Nickname: Jiz (oh the hilarity)
(jezmck .com, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:07, Reply)

Shalom
After going into work with THE hangover from hell and 30mins sleep, it wasn't long before my mate started ripping the piss out of me. "Fuck off, leave me alone".

He wandered off, then every 20mins or so another member of staff would wander in and say to me "Congratulations!". Eh? Screw it, I don't care, I don't understand.

Then one guy came in and shook my hand saying "Congratualtions man! Big night last night yeah?". So I asked him what the hell he was talking about. "Your Bar Mitzvah last night? Thats why you're so tired today, right?".

"I'm not Jewish".
"Why did you have a bar mitzvah then?"
"I didn't".

Turns out my friend had told everyone at work I was Jewish, then shouted "JewBoy" over the tannoy system. That nickname has stuck for years now. And I'm really not jewish.
(A Good Egg, Sat 20 May 2006, 18:04, Reply)

Just not pretty...
A few people know me as 'Gash'- it rhymes with my name and my friends nickname is Fanny. Think I came off worse out of that one...
Microsoft tries to correct my name to Trash, which i prefer... it is definitely the lesser of two evils.
(SinisterCarp Doesn't mind the gap..., Sat 20 May 2006, 17:58, Reply)

Know a rather posh girl in my year
Who in real life has 5 names. I'll blank 2 of them, just to cover my ass legally. R****** Elizabeth Holly L*****-Payne is her real name. Then my mate started going out with her. He discovered her full name, and then his dad found out. So, it got boosted to R****** Elizabeth Holly Porpington-Smythe L*****-Payne. And then...we got bored, and added some more. One year later, it currently stands at 21.

R****** Elizabeth Holly Porpington Smythe L*****-Payne Farquar Smith-Wright-Smith-Williamson Ponsonby Poshington Gervais-Brookhamsterson Tressington Floyd Davis Higgins Flockhart Bronson the 3rd.

I can never recite the whole thing fully, only about 60/70% of it. So we sometimes call her that, its usually shortened to what started it all off, Porpington Smythe, or "Porpy". It's truely a miracle of modern science that she doesn't know about it yet.
(insanity_on_a_stick RISsing like mad, Sat 20 May 2006, 17:48, Reply)

One of my friends has had many nicknames during her lifetime,
and her nickname now is all of those names put together. She is known as;
Katelyn-pwek-birthy-bum-leg-pwincy-martin-master-plaster-meatball-bulula-brown.
However, most of the time we just call her Kate.
( Fluffy elephants, Sat 20 May 2006, 17:26, Reply)

My friend Bob
is known to all as SirMrDrBob, because his dad is a doctor, and even though his name is not Bob, Bob also wants to be a doctor. Somehow from this discussion he was given his nickname.

A primary school 'boyfriend' of mine was known as Count Stinkula because the smell of fish followed him wherever he went. It probably still does.

One of my housemate's friends answers to Pinki more than her own name. Unfortunately her surname rhymes with 'camel' and she gets called that more often than anything else.

My ex is now known as The Phantom of the Opera. This has a little to do with a friend of mine who loves the musical, a little to do with his hair (which is collar-length and sometimes pushed back a bit, like the movie Phantom), a little to do with his vampire obsession and a lot to do with his habit of appearing out of nowhere. (He has no discernible musical talent.) So as long as he's out of earshot the sight of him is greeted with someone singing "The Phaaaantom of the Opera is here/there/AAAAAAAAA (this is Izzard-speak for 'right in your face')..."

Also, around campus we have:
Martin The Aged Loon (old guy who looks like Michael Fish and has several Tesco bags with him at all times, openly admits to watching porn and is obsessed with Dante for some reason)
The Wolfman (a friend's ex who is incredibly hairy)
The Wolfman's Handmaiden (not quite as hairy but bad enough - no idea how it turned into 'handmaiden')
Limpetgirl, who has since graduated but is famous for her brattiness, clinginess, psychotic nature and tendency to yell "FUCKINGHELLYOUFREAK!" if you disagreed with her
Tim (surname) - thicko I lived with last year, name said to sound like Matt Damon from Team America. Or he can also be referred to as "Timmayyyyyyy".
Eh-Eh-Eh - girl who lived above me in halls last year, named for the noise she made while shagging that sounds like the mental patient from Little Britain.
Girl in some of my classes who openly admitted to having several vibrators on a uni community is known as, simply, 'bzzzzzzzz'.
Johnny Vegas - guy who looks exactly like Johnny Vegas.
Trekkie Monster - nickname for another friend's ex. He is big, hairy, and likes porn.
A series of moody girls all referred to as Olive after this photo, which at the time we thought was the evilest thing in the world.
Axl Rose - Skinny guy with long ginger hair and a bandana. Whether he does the dance has yet to be seen.
Swinger-Dude - Slightly deviant PhD student who, as his name suggests, goes to swingers' parties.
Captain Fun of the Fun Police - housemate who works too hard.
EllieandMark! - annoying couple joined at the hip.

One of my housemates has the very unfortunate nickname of 'Flange'. Apparently last year the rooms in her flat all had letters on the door and each door was given a rude word beginning with that letter, and hers stuck.
( Maladicta, Sat 20 May 2006, 17:18, Reply)

Maybe it was the killing the Jews that did it.
Amy=Nazi girl.apparently.
(TheSadisticThespian, Sat 20 May 2006, 17:13, Reply)