b3ta.com talk
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 5364534

Yesterday I fitted a new shower for my lodger's bathroom.
This makes me 10% more manly.
What have you done recently to up your manliness?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:19, archived)
Roffle
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/15942
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:20, archived)
up the manliness UP THE BUM

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:20, archived)
Scratched my testicles.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:20, archived)
Sex and fighting.
AT THE SAME TIME.
(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:20, archived)
With the same man?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
I took on four sweaty Turks with JUST MY COCK.

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
regular saturday night then?

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:23, archived)
It's a real hit with the ladies down the Gala bingo.

(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
Carried a baby.
Not very manly, but he was really heavy.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:21, archived)
a real man would've used an engine hoist

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
I had to carry him outside
and there was a lack of hoists hanging from the sky.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:23, archived)

GIRL
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
Wow, that's quite impressive.
Could you attach a sex swing to it?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:25, archived)
I guess, as long as the baby didn't weigh too much

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:26, archived)
He wouldn't be joining us
he's in the pinchy grabby stage.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:28, archived)
they are usually rated for at least 500kg
so even if you were shagging another b3tan it should be fine :D
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:26, archived)
The internet has converted
and I have space for a 435kg person.

That's a bit slim for the net.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:28, archived)
pfft

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:29, archived)
I tidied up the garden and had a BONFIRE this morning.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:21, archived)
i want this

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:21, archived)
Bonfire
In the MORNING!
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
It's still smouldering.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:23, archived)
waste of a good fire
you could have lit it this evening and sat around it drinking and toasting marshmallows :D
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:25, archived)
oh my yes.
at my student dig, we had a fire pit in the garden surrounded by trees. It was utterly marvelous. We built a tree house near it (welllll a platform in a tree) and just sat there smoking for hours...
(WhiskyForAll! b3ta isn't the place to bully people., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:26, archived)
smoking like fish?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:27, archived)
It's a smelly, smoky getting rid of things fire.

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:27, archived)
its still a fire
get pissed enough and the smoke wont bother you :D
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:29, archived)
My housemate and I are building a kiln.
A motherfucking kiln.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:35, archived)
how many mothers per month?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:36, archived)
Is it for pottery
or smoking food? The answer to this defines your level of manliness.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:38, archived)
unless it's a combined
woodburning pizza oven and tandoor he can get the fuck out.

however, I suspect it's for pottery. probably dainty little teacups and figurines of ladies holding kittens.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:46, archived)
** Stands up and taps glass with spoon twice **
I would like to thank you all here for joining us on this very special day.

There isn't much to say, that hasn't already been said, about the marshmallow.

** Holds up glass **

Too the Marshmallow.

** Takes a sip, puts glass down, and starts clapping **
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:39, archived)
Phwoar
that sounds way better than my morning. I came to work.

Swap?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:23, archived)
NO SWAPSIES.
Then I made cheese scones and now I am eating them.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:27, archived)
You must stop talking such filth.
I'm going to go out for a cigarette and not think about scones.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:28, archived)
Fitted a washing machine
And had a fight with some burly oafs*




*may contain minor inaccuracies
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:21, archived)
Where was this, and did they suffer?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:26, archived)
By "burly oafs"
He means five-year-old girls.
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:27, archived)
I scowled at a drunk chap in the Cricketers in Keighley
I'm that hard
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:29, archived)
I bet he had his back turned to you at the time.

(I helped save b3ta! Lord Gnome, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:30, archived)
He just wasn't paying attention
I could have had him though, no problem
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:33, archived)
The Cricketers, is that the one by EMU?
I heard that's not a bad pub.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:35, archived)
Yes. It's very nice
Plenty of ale, music and a tidy goth bint behind the bar.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:43, archived)
Nothing
*is a lady*
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:21, archived)
I bought this recently to up my manliness
THIS
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
i bought myself a pink wig online.
i wonder when it will arrive.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
that's not very manly binky

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
yes it is
i will be able to pretend to be a LADY
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
Fuck me, that's a serious one
I nearly bought one a while back for £80 but then I realised I have other saws and don't cut enough to warrant buying on.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:31, archived)
Ate a tiger before it ate me

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
so it ate you from the inside?

(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:30, archived)
Lifted massive stacks of wood out of a lorry.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:22, archived)
Did you walk away in that 'manly' swagger which
makes you look as though you've lost control of your bowels?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:27, archived)
I crept behind a wall and cried like a girl.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:34, archived)
i cut my thumb really badly on a tin last night
its currently being held together with tissue and gaffa tape. fuck going to hospital:D
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:23, archived)
its only manly
if you cut it off
(I helped save b3ta! turb0t, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
its about 5 cm long
and deep enoough to see the bone..

i reckon thats close enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:27, archived)
can you feel it if you poke the bone?
what does it feel like?

does it tickle? does it twinge?
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:29, archived)
no idea
it was 3 hours until it finally stopped bleeding and i am loathe to experiment. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:31, archived)
judgement: NOT A REAL MAN

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:35, archived)
A real man would have cooked it.
Or had his wife cook it.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:37, archived)
Cut him and he bleeds?
CLEARLY A MANNEQUIN!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:37, archived)
seriously. it bled a LOT
my bathroom looked like i had killed someone in it last night..
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:46, archived)
Fell over my own feet
whilst thinking of something else. That is , not multi tasking.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:23, archived)
pfft useless

(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:26, archived)
I NO
However I'm now sitting on my bed being entertained by b3ta, which is better than being at work being asked questions.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:29, archived)
Swing the lead any more and your arms will be four feet long

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:30, archived)
Hey I'm head of HR
What are they going to do?
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:37, archived)
Hire a Pole

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:49, archived)
Initial Assessment: Activity: Standing Up.
Significant Hazards:
1)Falling Over - Hazard Rating [High]
Action Taken:
1)Planning. All operations to be carried out where possible in a seated position.
2) Physical. A nice comfy chair is to be provided, and cushioned flooring in all accessible areas beyond.
4) Management. Arrangements will be to provide regular cups of tea* to the employee.

*not too hot, mind.
(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:41, archived)
Driven around 250 miles and not complained about it ONCE

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:23, archived)
that sounded pretty whiny to me..

(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
/Lewis Hamilton

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:32, archived)
I punched a dog.

(I helped save b3ta! well, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
Your mum
you fat cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
Increased the size of the muscles in my left arm used for wanking by 1.3% in less than 30 minutes this morning.

(I helped save b3ta! The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:24, archived)
I hurt my wrist really bad the other day when I was having a wank,
I banged it on the ceiling.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:27, archived)
Girlfriend away?

(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:29, archived)
She was, back yesterday, but I still got no lovings :'(

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:33, archived)
That's the problem with bunk beds

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:34, archived)
Or having a wank in a filling cabinet

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:38, archived)
Put up some shelves

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:30, archived)
I do scratch things lots.
but i do have a rash.
(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:31, archived)
i contracted manflu and am on the verge of death
but i've only complained about it quite a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:33, archived)
I fitted a shower and refitted a kitchen
so I can then take in a lodger

Then VodkaCoke helped me paint everything we could so it all looks clean and lully
(Dangermouse., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:53, archived)