My flatmate is moving out.
Would anybody like to rent the room? It's cheap, but you may have an unfeasibly long commute.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

I'm moving back in with my mum soon.
I'm dreading it.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 13 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

I had lots of fun with her.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

Did she let you help with the Times crossword?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

I just can't keep up with all the crazy new euphemisms for sodomy any more.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

Careful, you'll find yourself losing your hair
and claiming dole.
( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

She'll turn into Gail Porter?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Next comes the warhammer and lies on the internet
then you gain your virginity.
( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Im already in a third world country
I dont need to move to one
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

Lol, but surely aberdeen is so full of pissed offshore workers chucking their money at pubs and strippers the economy is like Vegas

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Thats pretty much exactly what its like
Expensive as hell...outside of aberdeen there be dragons though
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

God bless offshore workers and their funny scottish money
And their amazing capacity for rum.

DRAGONS!

Is it pretty tho? The weather lady said scotland is sunny today.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Very much so

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

You bastard. Norwich is decidedly grey

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Then you would not like Aberdeen

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Ha!
Move up here then.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

I would, but I like english money too much

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

word bitch
I'm off work sick give me sympathy
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Oh, I just bloody emailed you, you useless fuck
What's the matter then?
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

I've got fairly mild flu,
but due to panic, I'm under instruction to stay home.
I was starting to piss off the people sitting near me by sneezing all over them.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

Hahahaha
I'll get you some oinkment etc

*prepares you tea and soup and paracetamol*
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

no thanks!

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

Are you sure?
We have a pond.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

tempting, but i like my new place too much

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Keep it away from the fire room though!

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

I'll take it.
But I don't want to live in it. I want the room to be contantly on fire, never going out. You'll have to keep fuelling it obviously, but 24/7/365 that fire must keep burning.

I cannot offer any money so you may keep any money the fire room earns.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

I would watch you sleep whilst doing tortoise face and jazz hands
I would be the best flatmate ever.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

Or the best, if you're in to that sort of thing...

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

Or even, the best. It's possible.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

Or possibly, given that x is a type of thing, that y is that thing, and that z is you being into such a thing, the best.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

With the outside chance of it being the best.
Depending, obviously.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

or maybe the best?

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

I think you would find it soothing and slightly endearing with me doing tortoise face at you as you slept.
Sort of like a dreamy lizard guardian.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

You bastard.
I just nearly choked on my water and very almost splurted it out my nose. I haven't done that since I was 14.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

It's a talent.
*Tortoise Faces*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

I move in to my new house on the 1st July. Yey.

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

Would you like to send me some money every month?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

would YOU like to send ME some money every month?

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

Children, children, don't squabble.
Why don't you both send me the money and I'll work out a fair arrangement.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Don't be ridiculous.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

1st July is the best date ever.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

National Pug Hurling Day?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

I'd support this

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

Only because your face is a pug's bumhole height.
OH NO! DON'T BACK UP MR. BONGO *blooooop* mrfffffmrrfmrpphh!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Pfft
Hello DG
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Heeeeello cheeky chops :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

It's my birthday when all pugs spin anti clockwise in celebration and snoffle at a house plant for 15 minutes

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

National Pug Curling Day?

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

but they already are curly...
...near their bums.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

You're on the weird koala bear looking island right?
I'd only move over there is someone passed a law demanding that every fairly alright looking man I met whispered my name softly into my ear every time I passed them.

*shivers*
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

That's the law.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

I'm packing my bags as we speak.
I actually make every irish man I meet say my name.

It turns me into a pathetic puddle.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

This is understandable.
Irishmen tend to sound a lot like me.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

I can see how that would happen

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Wouldn't that make them sound like stalker pyscho murdering types?
As opposed to just looking like stalker pyscho murdering types.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

murdering types freedom fighters
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

yeah, ok, it's a deal, i'll be there at 6

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

Groovy.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

But you'll have to wait in the garden for a few weeks till the other lad moves out.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

that's cool, i noted you have a pond so i'll just bivvy up and do a bit of fishing

( mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

BIVVY

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

How much ?
I dont want to live there but I need somewhere to store some carcasses.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

We're very near the Wicklow Mountains, which is Ireland's premiere destination for people burying murdered women.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

Hahaha, I just googled that
And there's a book called "Where no-one can hear you scream - Murder and assault in the Wicklow Mountains"

Awesome.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

That book is shit.
It couldn't even spell my name right.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

I read that as 'Windowlick Mountains'

( WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

Did you have a quick one off the wrist ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

yeah, alright
you take DSS?
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 13 May 2009, 11:39, archived)