Fuck all this girly shite
What's the biggest animal you could successfully kill with home made weaponry. You have to eat the motherfucker too.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Homemade? Do I have access to... thermite?

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

No
Sticks and string and such
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I can make thermite at home
just give me a couple of nails, a can of coke and a lemon
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

how2dostuff.blogspot.com/2006/01/how-to-make-thermite.html
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

That's scary

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Completely misread that as 'how to make thalidomide'

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

"A victim of small arms fire"

( FoldsFive, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Hahaha.

(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Thermite would be rubbish for killing animals
unless you could get them to stand still for a while. It may be hot, but it's ponderous.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

You've never considered a thermite cannon?

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Due to it being a ficticious weapon in a computer game
I suspect not.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

It is?
edit: ohh yeahh. cityofheroes.wikia.com/wiki/Thermite_Cannon
( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

The thermite reaction doesn't produce any gas
Iron Oxide + Aluminium - Iron + Aluminium oxide and some heat. You'd melt the cannonball. And the cannon.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

Thermite is hot enough to melt steels and iron, perhaps, but it isn't hot enough to melt the teeth of a small african child.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Boiling iron wouldn't be far off, so you could do it with a little tinkering...

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

thermic lance
and you can burn the lines off their car parks.

That'll show them!
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Are you allowed to staple them to the floor first?
Flying squirrels would be quite easy to staple.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

You either love it or hate it

( broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Clicking this

( Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

Get me to a homebase
and I could take down an elephant,
I'm a modern day McGuyver.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Here's a rubber band and the innards of a broken calculator.
Get yourself to Homebase.
(MooCow_Byter, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Homebase is shit
in their HQ, they had a competition inviting staff to give a name to the new canteen, which had been moved to the -1 floor of one of their HQ buildings (Carew House).
The winning name was "Base-ment". How shit is that.
( turb0t, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I;d shove my broom handle up a lions bum and guide it towards a fire.

( Mrs Sp@m, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Pfft
Yes, dear
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Cows. Definitely. It'd just stand and stare at me until the knife went in
Then we'd have burgers. And steak.
( Theoban What of it, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

a beached whale

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

That's scavanging
Not hunting.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

you never made the distinction

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Sorry about that

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

nevermind old chap...
*tucks into beached whale casserole*
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Probably a t rex
I'd push my welsh dresser, tied to all my white goods, off a cliff onto his head, then have myself a barbeque.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

I have a knife at home, so I'd say anything up to the size of a large dog

( SuperMatt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I did quite a bit of erm..
nitrogen chemistry many years ago. There's probably not much I couldn't kill given the motivation.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Could you drive mammoths of cliffs into a pool of liquid gas?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

I'm pretty sure I'm younger than you...

( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

You reckon?
41
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Yes!
Haha!
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Cunt
:(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

there's not much in it..
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

That's what your bird says
Lol or something
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

lets face it
you could kill anything aquatic with a home-made pump and enough patience, and that covers the biggest stuff.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

You'd have to catch it first.
My methods wouldn't require such exertion.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

no you wouldn't.
this is where the patience comes in. Just pump the seas dry one by one. Statisically you'd have to get one eventually ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

Statistically, if you're patient enough
you could just stand in a forest with your hand outstretched and wait for a dead bird to fall into it. You might get hungry waiting though.
( L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

ah, no-one specified we needed the food for survival
I thought it was just for shits and giggles. I'll have to reassess my methods....
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

A guy came into work yesterday
Proclaiming that the difference between horse meat and beef is that the fat on horse meat is quite a vibrant orange.

Interested, I asked "So do you prefer horse?"

To which he replied "Neigh".

Trufax
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I fancy that fry up you can get in Bolton thats enough to kill an elephant


/unrelated
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

I have only had good food experiences on my few trips to Bolton
I took my own.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

I reckon I could knock up a winch
that could beach a blue whale.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

don't bother with the which
just pour a partciculary viscous mayonnaise into its blowhole. Job done.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

[suggestion of tiny mammal]
[referral to own height]
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

[Reply because you are a girl]
[insert lol here]
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

[Reply because you are a fat mess]
[insert sausage roll here]
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

[reply here]
[mander]
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

[reply here]
[shove it up your clunge]
( broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

[reply here]
[RIGHT down your cock]
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

COR!

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Also
A plastic bag around the tiny head of a giraffe should do.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Who needs weaponry?
I can easily beat a bear to death with my penis.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

You've mentioned this a few times.
I'd like to see this.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

I bet you would.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Purely for sport
you understand.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

It's not sport
the bear doesn't even have a chance. It's slaughter.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

Ha ha ha.
Hello. What do you know?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

what do I know about what?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

It's just a 'hi, how are you' sort of what do you know.
Not a 'do you know omgossip about [boy b3tan] and [girl b3tan]'
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

oh, I see.
I'm fine cheers, you?

OMG like JMG totally touched Esme in the Dole !!1111!!1 (am I doing this right?)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Better thanks.
My heads been in the shed the past couple of days, but I'm alright now ta.

OMG like moohalaa totally bummed erasty up the bot bot!111!!oneeleven (I think so, gossip isn't my forte really).
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

LIAR

( RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

i was rolling a fag and my mates kitten was pestering me, i flicked my fingers at it and hit it's neck and it died
i didn't eat it tho, he seemed a bit upset, meh
( mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

lol... was the fag on fire...
like.. yeah....
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

get it?
cos like... it was a fag... as in homosexual... and a cigarette... and you were rolling it... like it was on fire... and like... you know... that GI Joe video thing... yeah..

so... uh-huh...
(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Nice slaying skills

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Replying to Chuck Norris right here

( magnum, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

if you need kittens slaying i'm your man

( mongychops, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

A COW.
That is all.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

To kill and eat you say?
Probably a piglet using a sharpened spoon, then I would roast it and eat.
( M o D, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

I could totally twat a terrapin with my trousers

( broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Would you want to eat it though?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Fuck yes
two terrapins in tortilla with tuna & tomato. Tasty!
( broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

I'm sure i could take out a bear's eye with a flick from a wet towel..

(likeajackhammer, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

depends on what you mean by "home made"
I could build one of those swinging log crushers that the ewoks used and take out an argintinosaurus
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

I bought the new limited edition Night In For Toes
(which has Lemony Flutter, Volcano, Running To The Embassy, and a couple of mini bath bombs), a lump of Karma Soap and both sugar scrubs.

I love girly shit, I can't help it.

/Goes off to moisturise
( Bats, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

If I painted myself to match the forest and stood still with a harpoon for a while I could kill a badger, I suppose.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

I hope the harpoon is home made

( broadsword, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

of course
broom handle and a kitchen knife
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

A bug
*smooshes with my shoe*
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

You'll never get a good meal out of twatting flies

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

You just said I had to eat it
Not that it had to be a good meal.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

I could headbutt an elk to death with 3 'boks' of my forehead

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Blue whale. Just grab some crap to bung up its blow hole.
I doubt I'd be able to eat a whole one though.

edit: and that's already been sort of mentioned.
( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

A man. An axe made of a steel rod and a piece of stone.
True story.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)