I like to throw occasional German phrases into conversation
I think you can make someones day brighter when you respond to their sneeze with a Gesundheit. While Bitte is a very nice alternative to You're Welcome

What other German phrases should I appropriate?
( applehead herp derp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

Whilst du meinen pimmel saugen?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Oder, Wird Sie meinen pimmel saugen?
If you want to be more formal.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

I also love the word
"entschuldigung"
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Me too.
It's an ace word.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

I plan to use it in every sentence when I go to Germany.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

I used it at a real live German once
It seems it marks you out as an obsequious dick. He went all the German version of "oooh lah dee dah ! entschuldigung bitte! ooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooh"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

If I, as an English man with Polish descendents, go to Germany,
I feel like I have every right to be a lah dee dah prick
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

Make sure you have metal segs on your shoes

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

Don't you mean Polish antecedants?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

He's from the future man

( applehead herp derp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

Cool! I wonder how he did in his exams.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

I'm from the future man.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Cool! How did you do in your exams?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

I got A*AAAAABBBBB at GCSE

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

swot

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Not really,
I didn't even try at GCSE.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

grade inflation, then.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

GCSEs are being dumbed down.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

ABBBBBBBCCCC back in my day was considered smashing
But my day was 1992 :(
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

his results don't come out until 2215

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

that was nearly an hour ago :(

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

She meant the year

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Thanks for explaining the joke there Lieutenant Explainajoke!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Kartoffelgeschmack

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Schnell.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Seig Heil

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

hehehehe

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

arbeit macht frei

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Wie komme ich am busten zum boardflounce

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

They are probably the only ones I know
I would quite like to learn German though.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

I hear it's quite a nice one to learn
It does sound awful though
( applehead herp derp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

The grammar is fucking horrible.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

I like german grammar,
It's got VERY STRICT RULES, JA, SIE MUST OBEY THE RULES OF DAS DEUSTCH, OR SUFFER ZE GERMAN WRATH"
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

Arggh, too many cases, I hated it.
It didn't help that my German teacher was a cunt.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

I fucking hated my german teacher,
but I've started learning it on my own after that, as I like the language.

I will buy Rosetta stone as soon as I get the money.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

Out of all the languages I learnt, Latin had the most convoluted grammar.
I am told classical Greek is considerably worse.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Inuit has like 46 words for "there", according to QI.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Inuit / Eskimo vocabulary 'facts' are almost never true.
Here's why: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inuit_language#Morphology_and_syntax
( Zuowan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

The romans they go the house?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Aaargh! Not the dative! Not the dative!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

I fucking hated Latin
Proper hated it
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

My mum went to the Dutch equivalent of a grammar school, and had to learn classical Greek as well.
According to her, Greek irregular verbs nearly induced a nervous breakdown.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

My twin brother did o level ancient greek in two terms because he had some time spare after doing 5 of them a year early, the swotty cunt
I'm not sure he understood a word of it, just he's very good at remembering stuff.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

I love Latin, I wish they had still done it when I was in school.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

Same here
I think it would be ace to learn.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

I'm very fucking glad they didn't.
I had enough trouble trying to get a grip of irish AND german.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Is Irish very complicated?
I've got a book of Flann O'Brien's old newspaper columns, and there's a whole section on the then-recently revived Irish language and literature (a substantial part of it is written in Irish); according to him, it's one of the most complex European tongues.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

I gathered Latin was really very logical,
although very different from English in some ways.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

It is very logical, but as English is from a different family of languages it can seem quite alien - not to mention hideously complicated.
You can have a four-word Latin sentence that looks quite unambiguous, but depending on the combination of cases and tenses used it might have a wide range of meanings. For that reason alone, I remember it was a real pain in the arse.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

It's got a lot of features that tend to disappear naturally if a language is left to its own devices,
such as semantic noun inflections. The evolution of creoles tends to favour word order based grammar, such as we have in English, I think.

I like the way Semitic languages work.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

It's my contention that the more sophisticated a culture becomes the simpler its language becomes

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

up to a point.
someone drew a graph of it for me once.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

If there's a graph then it's Science!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

American English is supposed to be "simpler",
but it's only really morphologically simpler, which is just stupid.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

I can't understand a word of that cop show they all go on about

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Newspeak doubleplusgood!

( applehead herp derp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

As bad as latin
Too many words for 'the'
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Whereas Slavic languages don't seem to have any words for "the" or "a".

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

Didn't know that
So it's all cases and what have you?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

Most of the world's languages don't have "the" or "a"
They aren't really needed when you that "that" "this" and "one"
( Zuowan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

for you ze war iz over

( mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Schnell! Schnell! Aiiieeeee!
/battle action comics
( FoldsFive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

achtung spitfire!!!!111111!!!!
brrrrrrr brrrrrrr brrrrrrrr
( mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

ha ha! forumscherz, keine handlung
fantastische zeiten
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Lolololocaust

( broadsword, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

Füssballweltmeisterschaftendspielzweiterschiedsrichter.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

Spritzen mir auf die titten
A common greeting to catholic clergy
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

I'd like that to be the reply to my question.
"Wird Sie meinen pimmel saugen?"
"Nur wenn sie spritzen mir auf die titten"
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

It's near enough

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

Near enough?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

Yes
Quite near. Please don't revert to shitness.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

Ok granddad.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

*dodders*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

Ken Dodd's dead.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

So's his dad's dog

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

A week of tragedy for the Dodd household :(

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

Terrible business

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

I often shout
'Nien das ist schlecht'
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

It certainly has more impact
than the English
( applehead herp derp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

A lot more gutteral!

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

I say Ja quite a lot, I don't really know why.
Bitte doesn't mean welcome, does it?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

It means please

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Amongst other things:
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bitte
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

sounds like it covers both of the Italian words for "please".
we don't really have anything for the other meaning, curiously. But then Danish doesn't have either.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

There are three...
Per cortesia, per piacere e per favore.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

hang on
I was thinking of "prago".
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

I also like how you wrote that last sentence completely in Italian,
and I didn't even think about it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

prEgo. 'prago' would rhyme with the last bit of embargo following Italian pronunciaton rules.
Prego doesn't really mean please although it kind of has the sense, like in the Post Office, the clerk would say "prego" instead of "next, please" but it's not the real meaning of it.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

They say it in restaurants when they give you stuff.
So it's like meanings 3 and 4 from that link up there.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

If I remember rightly,
my book of Italian for very much beginners lists it as meaning "please (offering)".
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

I dont' really trust urban dictionary though it's generally right about bitte there.
It means 'here you are' in that sense really. There's not really such a thing as 'please (offering)' in English is there?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

no,
we don't have a directly equivalent word. I'm trying to think of another way you could translate it, but I'm coming up blank. It doesn't literally mean "here you are" but kind of means that in certain contexts. I suppose the best you can do on paper is vaguely allude to its sphere of applicability.
It's a funny thing, is language.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

I'm fairly sure it means you're welcome
Like if you were to thank me with Danke, i could respond with Bitte
( applehead herp derp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

See above.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

It means 'please', 'you're welcome', 'can I help you?', 'after you' and a few other things depending on the situation.
/a half-German
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

forumscherz, keine handlung

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Ja, mit karteloffel zimmer in der stadt

( magnum, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

pretentious, mir?

( scott,, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

Hello.
Have you moved yet?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

yeah, i had to go to the loo earlier.

( scott,, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

Ha ha fucking ha.
Right, when me and him go to That Brighton, you can get fucked if you think we're popping by for a cup of tea.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

as of this weekend you can visit
mine is the third cardboard box under the Palace Pier.
( scott,, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

YAY.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh?
I must get back to the Dance Centrum in Stuttgart in time to see Kraftwerk.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

at work to annoy another member of staff
the other bloke in the kitchen and i have decided to learn how to say things we cook in russian
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

SPAKKENKHRIST

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

DOUBLE POST FRENZY
www.b3ta.com/talk/6209734
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

When is this then eh?
I might have to cower behind Lu, I'm very timid really.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

I don't know.
COMING SOON.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

I'm retreating into my carapace at the thought!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Yeah.
You should probably do that. I'm very scary.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

would have thought this was more up your street
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piss_Christ
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

Christ drank his own piss you know,
ergo I am the second coming.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

you disgust me

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

arsheficke
i think is one
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Katzenjammer is one of my favourite words ever.
Ich Habe Kase in meine po.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)