Do you deserve to be here then, or WHAT?
www.ukcitizenshiptest.co.uk/

How much do you like ladies' bottoms? Are you a fan of knockers?
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:11, archived)

twitter -> facebook -> b3ta

( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Things are taking longer to get here than they used to

( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Shove it up yer hole.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Done.
Now what?
( SuperMatt, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:12, archived)

Turn 360 degrees and walk away.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)

Reinstate yourself inside the Matrix.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)

I pay some tax and don't break UK laws
Thats enough for me. They can kick me out if they want, but no matter how many times I turn up they keep letting me in.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)

I took the test they give out to people looking to settle here
it's absolute bollocks. I got 11 out of 20, I think. The questions are utterly irrelevant, and have ambiguous answers.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)

actually, going through these questions now...
still the same. What does it matter if you know how many parliamentary constituents there are?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

9/24 here
I'll move to Canada.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)

You have failed the practice citizenship test.
Questions answered correctly: 9 out of 24 (38%)

Time taken: 03 minutes 33 seconds
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

I don't even know where I LIVE!
I think they should just put loads of you in a room with a post office style window at one end. You have to queue properly and tut lots at people who don't queue properly. That's the test.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

and demonstrate the ability
to use understatement and make a decent cup of tea
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

haha
yeah, a queueing test would be fantastic
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:29, archived)

wow, I got bored of that really quickly
I like ladies' bottoms quite a fair bit though
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:13, archived)

Big butts?

(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:14, archived)

He cannot lie.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

I'm a big fan of knockers too

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

I'm glad SOMEONE is answering my questions.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

I failed :(
Time for me to pack my bags, Britain.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

That's why you've been banished to forrinland.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

This has been exposed as a lie.

( thealternativefact, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)

It's true, the lady Clendrix intercepted my messages that I was sending from Hull
I was using a proxy to make me look Parisian, I'm actually a chip shop owner in Hull.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

Which proved to be problematic when I arranged to meet him in Paris.
Who cooked the chips?
( thealternativefact, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

I got Big Geoff to do the chips
He's a mean man with a chip pan but he's a shit with haddock. And his pies leave MUCH to be desired
( Theoban What of it, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

Hmmm, chips you say?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

Chips Doubler
CHIPS
( Theoban What of it, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

It's National Kissing Day today.
I haven't had a single kiss. Rubbish.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:15, archived)

*leaps and smooches*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

Are two women allowed to kiss?
Oh my!
(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

YES!

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

*dives into the way... TOO LATE :(*

( sleepybinky, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)

there's enough spangolin to go around.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:37, archived)

is it?
cool. i can feel worse about the fact that i won't get any than usual
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

My fist is so getting a solid tongue workout when I get in tonight.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

I failed!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:16, archived)

I love a nice fanny, the more it looks like a horizontal chimp's mouth sucking some berries the better

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:17, archived)

I'm also strongly in favour of the well-presented vagina

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

Not too keen on the fannies that look like they are trying to escape their keeper...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

oh lordy no
or the big vampire bat wing flappy floppy ones
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

I like those muscular, prehensile ones that can strike prey up to three metres away.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

Drizzled in balsamic with a sprig of parsley.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

I Failed
I know a bloke who married a Thai bride, the 1st part of the test is to actually phone up and book it yourself (If you are incomprehensible then need not apply type rule) she failed this twice and now is facing deportation.
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

13 of 24.
Welp, I'd better pack up and go back to Somalia.
( ArthurTheRat, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:18, archived)

very much so
why does it matter what year women were allowed to divorce their husbands?
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

tits and arses are not relevant to my interests

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

haha, puff

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

GAY

(thediscokingpin, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

14/24.
Who wants to go live in Japan?
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:19, archived)

you and smathels
you can take it in turns dressing up as schoolgirls and molesting each other
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

i like knockers more than bottoms
although i am a fan of both

hooray for women's bits!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

and i failed the citizenship test

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

14/24
That's why I left.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:20, archived)

Although frankly, I'm in favour of any system of citizenship
that is based on trivia.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

But surely it should be based on true measures of Britishness
Like 'Who won Big Brother 4?' or 'Who does Ian Rush say that you won't even be good enough to play for if you don't drink lots of milk?'
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

snap.
that's why I'm going to dynamite the border but obviously stay on the English side
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:22, archived)

I failed.
I quite like my bottom and knockers. Will this answer do?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:21, archived)

Why not your fanny? Does it look like a dog sneezing into the wind?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:24, archived)

I like my fanny, yes.
But that wasn't what was asked. My fanny is a smashing orangey bit indeed.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

I got 9 right.
Is this a reason to celebrate?
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

Celebrate the fact your getting deported?
*pops champagne*
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

58% :(

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:23, archived)

I think I'm a bum man myself. A nice bum can do a lot for a girl

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:25, archived)

lol

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:26, archived)

sigh
man
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

Haha
You have failed the practice citizenship test.

Questions answered correctly: 11 out of 24 (46%)

I prefer knockers to bottoms.
( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:27, archived)

I think they've mixed in some driving theory questions for a laugh

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 15:33, archived)