I got evening arseboon cocknose on my mind

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:04, archived)

i'll show you my arseboon if you show me your cocknose

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:27, archived)

You would say that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:54, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 23:38, archived)

Easybeats, Ice Cubes and DOCs

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:29, archived)

Snoops Dogg

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:35, archived)

la di da di
Snoops likes to party
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:37, archived)

Q. Which rapper fact-checks urban myths and conspiracy theories?
A. SNOPES Dogg!!!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:48, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:54, archived)

B&

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 23:10, archived)

Just don't be a dick ok?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 0:31, archived)

And the group that said motherfuck the police

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 22:54, archived)

And you sir...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 2:54, archived)

He's my favourite rappist.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 23:27, archived)

Well I didn’t get the emergency “Russia has launched nukes” message on my phone
Was I selected at random for sacrifice do you think?
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:36, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8367976
(piss and shit, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:38, archived)

Yes. Yes you were.

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:38, archived)

I did read Gerald's Game, decades ago, don't remember it being as bad as Cell
I've probably become more critical with age
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 20:15, archived)

Decades!

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 20:41, archived)

It was dreadful
But not as bad as Gerald's Game
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 21:14, archived)

I don't know what you're for, Gary.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:47, archived)

Runcorn already looks like it’s been nuked so no need for an alert

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 16:14, archived)

A nuclear strike would probably improve the area drastically and increase property prices.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Apr 2023, 16:15, archived)

"Spacious open-plan living area with great views on all sides"

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 16:21, archived)

That's a roundabout, you idiot

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 16:41, archived)

"traffic circle"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 17:13, archived)

Yes

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 17:28, archived)

Vg

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 20:03, archived)

You were selected. It wasn't random tho.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 19:12, archived)

Yes comrade
Apologies
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 19:35, archived)

Typical Three user

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 19:44, archived)

b+ +ta

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 19:44, archived)

Bingo

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 21:07, archived)

Have Bill Gates' vaccine microchips been activated now?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:09, archived)

🧟‍♂️🧠🧠

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:10, archived)

🎤🚣🏼‍♀️🍟

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:32, archived)

This is the sound. When you hear the air attack warning. You and your family must take cover.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:30, archived)

Thanks for the earworm

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:31, archived)

☂️

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:36, archived)

I wonder if black bean sauce would go well with brains

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:30, archived)

◼️🫘🪚🪚

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:37, archived)

Not that I know of, but it's suddenly struck me out of the blue what a truly superb operating system Windows really is.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:55, archived)

Edge is a fantastic browser btw.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:57, archived)

Here's a link
www.bing.com/search?q=microsoft+edge&filters=ufn%3a%22Microsoft+Edge%22+sid%3a%2246724816-656d-4985-947c-985664327930%22&asbe=AS&qs=MB&pq=microsoft+edge&sc=10-14&cvid=3F389ADCECEF4A8EA42494B9C444E9EE&FORM=QBLH&sp=1&ghc=1&lq=0
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:59, archived)

better morning
hi knob's, happy Sunday to you. Just cycling off a few of yesterday's calories before taking on some tip-top nom new ones. Nut roast today, not a euphemism.

u?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 10:26, archived)

Nice meal yesterday?
My parents are over with nommy crab dad caught yesterday so I will do a stir fry with noodles and whatever I find
Then destroying undersea communication cables
Cables lol
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 10:49, archived)

it was a lovely day, shame my prick child wasn't there
as my father said, he's not planning on having another 80th birthday

this is my favourite crab recipe, it's a beauty
sites.google.com/view/il-palazzo/kitchen/dinners/trade-up-the-bolognese-for-bill-grangers-crab-and-chilli-linguine
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 12:21, archived)

Ooh looks nice
I just have normal red onions but I am sure it'll be ok
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 12:35, archived)

absolutely fine, just make sure you chop them as small as is humanly possible

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 12:42, archived)

I am coughing up a lung
So not going anywhere today. Going to make chicken in black bean sauce with fried rice, I think
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 11:44, archived)

Doesn't sound good
The lung thing not the grub
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 11:50, archived)

get well soon pal

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 12:21, archived)

Ta
They've decided to call the baby Rivah.I don't know if they've chosen it because they like the sound or because they like the meaning. Didn't expect them to pick a Hebrew name, tbh
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:10, archived)

my brother just sent me this link to a flat in Birkenhead
www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/133414625#/

It's not right for him, but fuck me, £110k? The equivalent flat in a Grade 1 listed building in London would be £800k+ minimum I would think. Tempted to move up myself...
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 12:41, archived)

sound system in the shitter
nice
( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:00, archived)

Boney M'szzzzzz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:26, archived)

Golly cheap up North
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:30, archived)

Innit doe
Prolly smells of chips and rickets tho
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:34, archived)

Chips are fine
Ask Adam about Rickets
Best kippers I have ever had was from a place in Whitby
Bloody stunning what a beautiful part of the Norf
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:04, archived)

Can't think of much worse than lifing in a listed building
apart from living in a fisted one.
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:48, archived)

Hamilton Square is rather nice, tbh
Mostly pedestrianised, a nice little park and just one stop on the bus or train into Liverpool Town centre
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

U r already pretty up urself m8, lololol.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:13, archived)

Had to call 111 myself yesterday. Called them at 9:48am
They called me back at 2:18am this morning. Which I thought was very considerate of them.
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:05, archived)

I will be reminding my doctor tomorrow
That he told me last week that I didn't have a chest infection, because I was only coughing a bit
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:08, archived)

Seems we are in the same boat smash.

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:28, archived)

His name is Dr. Dare
I'm always disappointed that his first name isn't Dan
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:41, archived)

probably hoping you'd died in the interim
lol rim
(piss and shit, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:38, archived)

I'm patiently awaiting this alarm to go off at 3pm

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:01, archived)

I have a cunning plan
To rain the nukes down at this time
NATO bollox
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:27, archived)

This is a test of Ham Urgency Alerts, a new b3ta service that will warn you if there are discounted meat products nearby.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:34, archived)

That’s armageddon sorted!

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:43, archived)

Probably the shittest King novel I ever had the misfortune to read
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:37, archived)

Not quite
www.amazon.co.uk/Guilty-Jonathan-King/dp/0956417167
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 13:43, archived)

Poor ol Stevie can't hit it out of the park every time

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:27, archived)

Go on, Steve. Give it some yer cunt!

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:27, archived)

It's been decades since I read Michael Crichton's Prey but I came away from that one as well with a horrid aftertaste of "Oh no, technology!"

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:52, archived)

You've clearly never read Rose Madder or Gerald's game

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:29, archived)

Beep beep
Sos early :(
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 14:06, archived)

Vaccine microchip: ACTIVATED

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:00, archived)

Christ that was loud!
Braaaaiinss, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:01, archived)

Mine wasn't, about the same volume as a normal ring

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:02, archived)

My phone was on silent, maybe they make it play at max volume

lol ‘ring’
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

I've turned them off now

( $$ ✅, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:05, archived)

Simple stir-fry this evening, but last night's dinner was great.
I cooked two sirloin steaks sous vide, with a home-made steak rub based on dried wild mushroom powder, topped with a different kind of wild mushroom. The steaks were about 350 grams each, too.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 23 Apr 2023, 15:07, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 7:22, archived)

Fuck you, Swank. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 7:27, archived)

Morning comrades
If you don't answer the 3 minute warning I will invade Runcorn
Oh yes
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 6:49, archived)

Runcorn is shite

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 7:24, archived)

So is Walkcorn
Jogcorn's quite nice tho
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:08, archived)

Swimcorn is bollocks though

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:10, archived)

Hows about John Barleycorn guys and gals?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:10, archived)

You can get done for that

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:11, archived)

Ok copper

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:15, archived)

John "Humming Baws" Barleycorn?
He must die.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:11, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:13, archived)

A lot of Traffic on his website

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:14, archived)

Needs to host a moribund flebsite, that'll slow it down

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 9:41, archived)

I would just like to say F * * K Y * U
and now i nearly have.
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 0:12, archived)

in other not news I have two phones. one of them is charged but turned off.
tomorrow we'll see if it is awakened by the alert. it won't be. but i'm going to tell select people it was and then slink off so other people have to endure the resulting tinfoiliness.
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 1:03, archived)

Tell you what, this Gestational Crack don't half keep you awake at night

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 4:40, archived)

My dad's 80th birthday lunch was nom, it was pffft, it was arf, it was tip-top

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 17:05, archived)

Actually my steak was over, fuck you Raymond Blanc
GAYmond WANK more like
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 17:06, archived)

Raymond whatnow? Bit of a racist is he?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 17:16, archived)

Race you say? That was boris not raymond

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 20:47, archived)

woo! yay! hoopla! panowie! tip-top! also, nice.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 17:15, archived)

Good stuff

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 17:16, archived)

oh did you order a take away then?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 17:37, archived)

🍍

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 18:43, archived)

📌🍏🤝🌲

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 20:28, archived)

◼️🥾⬅️

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 20:33, archived)

Fastening Of Colour these days

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 20:37, archived)

Jump in the line, rock your body in time

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 20:53, archived)

He shares his birthday with.my great niece
Who has just been born
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 21:21, archived)

Good work to whomever got whom up the duff with a successful result

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 21:37, archived)

Hurrah!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 Apr 2023, 22:33, archived)

This article was amended on 22 April 2023 to correct a misspelling of Mickey Mouse’s first name.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 22:45, archived)

P45 4 P47 in 24

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 23:04, archived)

Bad gateway Error code 502
Visit cloudflare.com for more information.
2023-04-22 23:01:14 UTC
You
Browser
Working
London
Cloudflare
Working
b3ta.com
Host
Error
What happened?
The web server reported a bad gateway error.
What can I do?
Please try again in a few minutes.
Cloudflare Ray ID: 1cc11ccc11cc11cc • Your IP:
• Performance & security by Cloudflare
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 0:03, archived)

Put “yeah” after every word in the list

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 1:47, archived)

You, yeah. Browser, yeah. Working, yeah.
London, yeah.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 23 Apr 2023, 1:48, archived)

A * * * * * * * N B * * * * * * S

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 14:46, archived)

American Bastards?

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 14:50, archived)

*fternoon* *ollock*

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 14:55, archived)

arseboon bilbaros?

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 15:01, archived)

A * * * * * * * * * * * * * * S

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 15:31, archived)

Morning bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:23, archived)

What's the stollocks +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:25, archived)

Oasis
Ffs what an awful band they were
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:39, archived)

They were largely shit, it's true

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 12:31, archived)

If Roy Keane had a band

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 13:35, archived)

+ he would call it Keane

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 14:16, archived)

I've somehow managed to get this far without ever hearing any of their music

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 16:35, archived)

because he was a footballer

(piss and shit, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 18:41, archived)

Right, so i guess I'd have to go to a match to hear him sing

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 22:34, archived)

Urgh, it's you!

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:38, archived)

afternoon sac

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 13:01, archived)

Morning comrades
What a lovely day for a tactical nuclear strike
I mean a nice walk
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 6:35, archived)

M * * * * * G

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 7:53, archived)

Just having a s**t
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 8:12, archived)

Which country are you doing it on today?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 8:15, archived)

Might have a pop at Andorra
Wankers
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 9:16, archived)

They've had it far too easy for far too long, I think we can all agree.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 Apr 2023, 10:54, archived)

It's time Lichtenstein had a good one curled out on it too

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:09, archived)

Can I just say? Vanuatu, I'll drop one on you

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 13:43, archived)

Vatican City gone get shitty

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 13:46, archived)

Scatmania in Albania

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 13:47, archived)

And Luxembourg

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 15:27, archived)

Nice morning to be woken up by 2 massive seagulls fighting over a piece of bread outside my window

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 8:45, archived)

it is nature's way of telling you that life is constant struggle

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 9:08, archived)

It is nature's way of telling me that my neighbour has been throwing bread out again

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 9:12, archived)

Seagulls are massive buggers

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 9:17, archived)

They are indeed

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 9:44, archived)

One did a shit on my car once, and it honestly looked like a dog had somehow climbed up and done it.
Just absolutely immense.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 Apr 2023, 10:55, archived)

One did a shit on my head once
In Dorset. 0/10, would not recommend.
The seagull crap, that is, not Dorset. I like Dorset.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:11, archived)

So you endorse it?

( broadsword, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:17, archived)

I endorse Dorset
Not getting shat on by a seagull
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 11:20, archived)

Alright, Werner Herzog.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 22 Apr 2023, 10:54, archived)

scrotal wall

( $$ ✅, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 8:51, archived)

Scrotal wall for yooooooouuuu

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 9:02, archived)

I went on a walk as per your advice
It's wet out; 2/10.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 10:48, archived)

Alligator Shitfuck all night long!

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 22:28, archived)

GOODNIGHT

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 23:36, archived)

Morning

( broadsword, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 0:09, archived)

🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 1:08, archived)

Emotional support carnivorous reptile

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 1:21, archived)

*lionelrichie.gif*
🌃➡️🌃
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 22 Apr 2023, 3:07, archived)

B * * * * * * S

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 20:52, archived)

G*********L S*C

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 21:17, archived)

C * * * * S

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 22:03, archived)

Sl**p

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 22:08, archived)

S**T *T **T ***R C**T

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 22:55, archived)

Dvd what?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 23:15, archived)

Shits on yer tits

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 23:23, archived)

I have just found out that today is in fact not Thursday
This unemployment lark is starting to erode my grip on reality

Any exciting plans for the weekend? I'm off to Oxford for my father's 80th 2moz.

Might felch a falcon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 14:46, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 14:48, archived)

Cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 14:49, archived)

What?
It is not Thursday?
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:01, archived)

DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT

(sticklebricks, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

+you fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 22:29, archived)

Wife's off work today so it's Saturday here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:07, archived)

ikr

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:17, archived)

Tip-top!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

Pffft and Arf

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:18, archived)

Nom

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 19:00, archived)

dunno what yer on about bruv, pretty sure it's only wednesday

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:11, archived)

don't do my head in m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:18, archived)

alright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:12, archived)

nothing from the cheese chaps yet
don't reckon I'm going to get an interview :*(
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:19, archived)

Never rind mate, I'm sure something else will crop up.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:27, archived)

I'll brielieve it when I see it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:35, archived)

I'm sure there will be a whey to see yourself back into employment.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:40, archived)

I hope so, or I might not be able to pay my rennet

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:49, archived)

Enough of these puns, I camembert it any longer.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:53, archived)

Still waiting for my great niece to arrive
Babies have no respect for time
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 16:24, archived)

Babies are fucking twats, there, I said it

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 16:25, archived)

too preoccupied to comment

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 16:46, archived)

They freak me out

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 16:48, archived)

meh, I'm employed but I still spent all of Monday thinking it was Tuesday

(piss and shit, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 16:35, archived)

Happy Birthday to Queef's dad tomorrow, his 80th birthday which is on 22nd April which is also his birthday.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 17:45, archived)

Hi knob-goblin's, how r u

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:41, archived)

Gobblin' a very nice knob right now, as it happens.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:46, archived)

standard

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:14, archived)

gnome with a hard on

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 14:06, archived)

I hope you have learnt The Monty Python cheese sketch
For your future job
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:56, archived)

I'm afraid not

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:41, archived)

hahahaha classic python

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:47, archived)

Would you like me to recite it for you?
It is no problem
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:51, archived)

you're one of
these?
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:25, archived)

yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:46, archived)

ooh you fuckin liar

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 14:07, archived)

Just about to jump in the shower

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:09, archived)

That sounds hazardous.
I'd be more inclined to step into the shower, exercising an appropriate amount of caution so as not to slip or trip.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:18, archived)

I have a wet room
So there is plenty of grip on the floor
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:28, archived)

Metallica'zz

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:33, archived)

Just about to dump in the shower

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:20, archived)

waffle stomp 4 lyf

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:41, archived)

Just about to pump up the volume

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:48, archived)

have jam with that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:49, archived)

And a mars bar

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:52, archived)

Just about to spunk in a can

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:56, archived)

in a can up David Gower
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:00, archived)

2+

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:00, archived)

^ putting the 'mong' in 'cheesemonger'.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:08, archived)

And now Malcolm Tucker

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:44, archived)

Tucker's (bad) Luck

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:49, archived)

Peter Tucker Jenkins,

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 13:53, archived)

did everony do MASSIVE drugs yesterday on 420 aka 423? I know I did
alt.: morning
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:40, archived)

morning
alt: everony
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:48, archived)

is that some kind of hip new pizza topping?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:50, archived)

It might have been Henry “The Fonz” Winkler crawling up the funhouse stairs after Marie Osmond, had the former not turned down the Danny Zuko role to avoid being typecast and the latter not dropped out for fear of damaging her squeaky-clean image by crushing a cigarette beneath a six-inch heel and purring, “Tell me about it, stud”.
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:51, archived)

Not to mention he had his penis out

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 10:16, archived)

uncle monkey!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:08, archived)

GESTATIONAL SAC

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:51, archived)

The only drug I need is Christ

( $$ ✅, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:50, archived)

amen, brother

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:50, archived)

I'm tooting on our lord as I type this

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:10, archived)

I always rack up lines of coke in a cross
so that I can honour the lord's memory with each snort
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:39, archived)

Christal meth?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:46, archived)

Christ's not a drug, it's a wafer

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 12:49, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 8:44, archived)

weekend woo yay

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 8:59, archived)

Only the prescribed ones

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 8:59, archived)

I prescribe vodka
You need an exemption?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:15, archived)

Bit early for vodka
It's not even 9.30 yet
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:26, archived)

Ok gin then

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:46, archived)

Go on, then

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:30, archived)

does that include tranquility pills?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:26, archived)

Mirtazipine, tramadol and amitryptaline

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:30, archived)

helmet smell

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:15, archived)

one of a kind

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:27, archived)

texture like hell

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:43, archived)

wring my bell

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:54, archived)

alright, "Anita Ward"

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 9:57, archived)

sup

( broadsword, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 10:27, archived)

How much would I like this to be a genuine sign in a hospital

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:40, archived)

helmet coal

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 10:51, archived)

I haven't smoked weed in well over 10 years.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:37, archived)

^Big time hash smoker

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

No, but got some drugfun lined up for this evening.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:46, archived)

Lol, lined up!!!!11

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:47, archived)

LOL!!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 14:34, archived)

I don't do massive drugs any more,
just small and medium sized drugs all the time.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

😉8️⃣

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 2:47, archived)

🐊💩🍯🍆🌃➡️🌃

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 3:02, archived)

Translate please
I really cannot be arsed today
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 7:02, archived)

ASFANL

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 8:13, archived)

ASFANL! ASFANL!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 21 Apr 2023, 11:53, archived)

Pushing that prick down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:16, archived)

bollocks

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:31, archived)

GESTATIONAL SAC

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:31, archived)

Vs Scroobius ARSEHOLE

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:32, archived)

My name is Scroobius Arsehole and I kill people

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:34, archived)

My name is Gestational Sac and you missed that bit

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:36, archived)

Sorry. I can't be online 24 hours a day. Not anymore.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:36, archived)

Must be a struggle.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:37, archived)

You have no idea.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:37, archived)

I do though

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:38, archived)

Fuck me it's Johnny Desperado

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:47, archived)

Whoa mama

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:50, archived)

The mind piss, the screams, the /chat, the dribble

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:38, archived)

The beakers, the racists, the cockends, the /linkers

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:40, archived)

The morning, the Queef, camel knobbing dilbarooooooooooo

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:41, archived)

My name is spanishfly and I film people

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:42, archived)

the lack of, the consent, the court case, the sentance

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:44, archived)

The twatcock, the shitfuck, the million nipplecuntos

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:42, archived)

The bollocks zone is for loading and unloading only

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:44, archived)

My name is Gestational Sac and i missed that bit

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 22:46, archived)

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( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 20:04, archived)

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( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 20:15, archived)

🚩

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 20:16, archived)

⚑

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 20:43, archived)

^▮_▮^▮_▮
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 21:05, archived)

just seen that new Spacekeks Starflip launch
was hoping musk was on it but sadly not.

it is beer o'clock.
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 16:08, archived)

I think you'll find it isn't beer o'clock for another 44 minutes
54 if you include the commute, which I don't
( broadsword, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 16:16, archived)

why have i got a beer then?
oh. just seen mr horrible's comment. *parps horn*
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 16:23, archived)

No doubt sabotaged by pedo guy

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 17:26, archived)

Gwen is suing

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 17:45, archived)

Go on, Musky.
Get that cunt up there.
( $$ ✅, Thu 20 Apr 2023, 19:22, archived)