Bollocks

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 16:50, archived)

Fuck off

( broadsword, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 16:57, archived)

no you

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 17:19, archived)

oh, k

( broadsword, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 17:22, archived)

alright broadswor

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 28 Apr 2023, 1:46, archived)

d

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 28 Apr 2023, 1:46, archived)

alright mn

( broadsword, Fri 28 Apr 2023, 6:57, archived)

s

( broadsword, Fri 28 Apr 2023, 6:57, archived)

Mingetits

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 17:08, archived)

TikTok Influencer Ken

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 17:13, archived)

All 3 of them

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 17:29, archived)

What about Richard Marx?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 17:38, archived)

and John Engels

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 17:46, archived)

Pete Stalin?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 18:00, archived)

No m8.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 18:03, archived)

Keith Hitler?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 18:18, archived)

Love that guy!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 18:33, archived)

All night drizzle

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 20:20, archived)

fo shizzle

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 21:41, archived)

Hello knoblets. Queef here. Just bought tickets to Siouxsie in that London.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:17, archived)

Tickets to see Sioux

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:37, archived)

Apache Indian supporting

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:37, archived)

Shawnee Ryder

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:38, archived)

That's quite an arousing porn name

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:41, archived)

Lil' Plum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:30, archived)

I've just bought 9 pots of pineapple chunks
Beat THAT!
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:51, archived)

I have bought a packet of white chocolate Popdots with caramel
I win \0/
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:56, archived)

Belgian chocolate Haagen-Dazs, Reece's peanut butter cups, scampi fries and a crate of Schweppes lemonade.
Check. Mate.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:11, archived)

My former Spanish colleague gave me a Reece's peanut butter cup once.
I like chocolate, and I like peanut butter, but found the combination emetic.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:56, archived)

I love them
But I couldn't eat more than one a day
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:59, archived)

+lover
colleague fly
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:07, archived)

Peanut butter lover, combination fly

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:10, archived)

butterfly cup

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:27, archived)

former
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:16, archived)

They're vile

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:54, archived)

The Porcupine From Purgatory, you mean.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:24, archived)

You are more of a real hedgehog than they are real chocolate. And that 'peanut butter' comes straight from one of Jim Bakker's buckets.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOH37W0jPpA
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:55, archived)

Dried mango
the fruit equivalent to biltong
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:40, archived)

not sweetened though, it should be sharp

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 16:04, archived)

TITSWEAT

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:56, archived)

Rispeck, she must be about eight hundred by now.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:06, archived)

I shall wear my budgie smugglers in celebration

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:09, archived)

The boys aren't back in the barracks :(((
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-65396676
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:25, archived)

Best 18 grand I’ve ever spent

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:26, archived)

Queen were fucking shit, there, I said it.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:33, archived)

So you fucking did

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:37, archived)

Nobody under 40 gives a shit, and nobody under 30 knows who they were
Over 50s may be offended by your statement.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:38, archived)

you must be well upset by what I said then lol

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:56, archived)

I've got the testicles of a young man
_{in a jar}
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:57, archived)

when you say 'a jar', you mean your mouth, right?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:58, archived)

Mmm? can't hear you over the sound of slurping

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:04, archived)

Started to like them more as I get older
apart from Bohemian Rhapsody, that can die in a fucking fire
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:38, archived)

You're nearly 50, I'll give you that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:39, archived)

Did u just assume my decrepitude

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:40, archived)

The white pubes gave it away

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:45, archived)

MAMA, OOooOOoooooOOh
shut up you wanker
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:39, archived)

Oh but it's a technical masterpiece musically speaking, the structure blah blah
don't care
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:42, archived)

a technical masterpiece though? REALLY?
Or is it just a massive overblown load of bombastic wank for spasticated cretins?
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:55, archived)

B3ta, you mean?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:55, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2633028
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:33, archived)

CAN CONFIRM

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:35, archived)

What was that shower of shit all about?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:03, archived)

Fuck knows

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:09, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8368278
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:15, archived)

I genuinely cannot stand their music.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:54, archived)

More of a dance of the seven camels kind of guy, huh?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:55, archived)

look, maybe being a camelsexual was frowned on, and even illegal in days gone by, but surely with the pace of modern progress, it will be a normal part of life in a few years

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 13:58, archived)

Dexy's Midshite Bummers u mean
Come on R Swank
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:49, archived)

Dexys similarly fucking shit pal, yer man Rowland is a proper weird cunt

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:03, archived)

He was a cross dresser last time I saw anything about him
Bery angry
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:13, archived)

He's certainly a dick
Also, he bought people out of songwriting credits and claimed to be the solo writer.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:36, archived)

They were not shit,
but they were deeply boring to me, as a pretentious teenager at the time when Mercury died and the entire nation overnight decided they were a super important band and integral to our national identity.

They do have a number of cracking tunes and earworms, and Mercury was a great frontman comparable to the likes of Al Atkins and Brian Johnson.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:40, archived)

their music is appallingly shit mate, as bad as my posts here

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 14:48, archived)

TOO FAR

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:03, archived)

au contraire, mein bruder, I'm being pretty generous to Queen there.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:09, archived)

Bit harsh on John Deacon though

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:11, archived)

<s>John </s>
Joey, more like!!!!
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:14, archived)

I'm sure they have a few appallingly shit tunes
and I'm not a fan, but it's not like they were a bad band badly making bad music.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:25, archived)

are you going to offer up a defence of such masterpieces as 'Bicycle Race'?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:33, archived)

Some of it is indefensible

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:39, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8368304
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:40, archived)

I don't hate them, I just wish they'd never released any music.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:42, archived)

And were slaughtered at birth

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:47, archived)

If I could go back in time with a loaded gun I'd probably assassinate Brian May, then Richard Madeley.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 15:49, archived)

But what about Richard Marx?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 16:03, archived)

What about him?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 16:07, archived)

you said it wrong

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 19:01, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 8:02, archived)

Fuck you, Swank. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 8:37, archived)

Can't you change your name back?
I keep having to choose my second autocomplete.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 8:38, archived)

Ask nicely

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 8:49, archived)

Malcolm Ecstasy is a camel knobber

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 8:49, archived)

morning Swank

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 8:50, archived)

Morning cheers, nice 2day innit

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 9:00, archived)

sure is!

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 9:10, archived)

rnoming

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 9:08, archived)

CURVEBALL!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 9:16, archived)

Push that dildo down the board

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 9:18, archived)

talk +

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 10:33, archived)

Morning all.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 10:30, archived)

alright OCSP you weirdo

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 10:50, archived)

Alright Do.. Keith.

I've sold my house.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 10:57, archived)

Hopefully you bought another one lol

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 10:58, archived)

Shit.

Not really haha lol what are you like rofl.

I'm moving to the country so the AI T1000s can't get me and make me cheat on exams.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 11:11, archived)

when you move there it will be the 'cuntry' oh hahaha

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 11:14, archived)

It's this kind of witty repartee that keeps me coming back here.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 11:26, archived)

how long has it been?
your willy, that is!!!!!!
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 11:49, archived)

I've been away for a mighty, throbbing 1+1/2 inches. Years. Oh what a giveaway!
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:15, archived)

Where the air is good, and the day is fours
And the pretty girl, has her hand in yours
And the silver stream, is a poor man's worz
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:08, archived)

I'm going to grow veg and lose all my teeth and chase tourists round a field wearing a pig mask in eerie silence. Take that society!
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 12:17, archived)

Morning chums and bums
How are we all? Rumours of your favourite Ruskie having to wear a nappy are false news
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 6:45, archived)

Morning
I got that cost of living payment today, so I'm going to get lots of gas
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 8:28, archived)

Lol gas

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 9:17, archived)

BULLOCKS

(sticklebricks, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:55, archived)

www.theguardian.com/society/2023/apr/25/barbie-doll-with-downs-syndrome-launched-by-mattel
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 19:04, archived)

out of a window?
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 19:08, archived)

Want

( mongychops, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 19:27, archived)

It's among the things you want

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 19:29, archived)

pfft

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 20:06, archived)

I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
I’m a spastic, it's fantastic
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 19:30, archived)

BRB KLAXXXXXXXON

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 21:52, archived)

Idly searched the other day to find out whether they do massively obese Barbies now, all in the name of inclusion and realism.
Looks like the closest thing is a "curvy" Barbie, which is getting almost near the shape of an actual human.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 20:37, archived)

There's already a wheelchair-using one, surely mobility scooters isn't too big a jump.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 20:39, archived)

Couch Potato Ken, with pizza and six pack.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 20:40, archived)

Post Op, Facelift, Ol' Babs

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 21:46, archived)

PTSD Ken, AR15 and 800 rounds

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 21:55, archived)

MAGA Ken

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 22:50, archived)

hat, nascar stickers, budweiser
Let's Go Brandon tee-shirt
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:09, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/X0yinmf
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 21:56, archived)

Yes, non binary dolls should be next

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 22:50, archived)

I don't rate his technique though.
He made a rough narrow V cut, but then overlapped the sides to stitch together, when he could have simply widened the V the the correct size and glued or even soldered the two sides together.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:53, archived)

I'm surprised you haven't mentioned the fact he measured in inches, and should therefore be immolated.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 11:30, archived)

"Getting out of shower, decided wife should be greeted with a helicopter / spinning dick dance as she walked in.
Only it was our 12 y/o daughter. I don't think we can ever speak again"
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 22:57, archived)

Okay ChatGPT, write me some utter bullshit.
Parameters as follows: "comedy" embarassment with adult nudity, domestic bathroom, faulty door lock, deaf pre-teen daughter and/or completely silent house plumbing.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:03, archived)

"As an AI language model..."
actually let's give it a go
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:13, archived)

I'm sorry, but as an AI language model, it goes against my programming and ethical guidelines to generate content that promotes or encourages harmful and offensive behavior, such as using adult nudity or embarrassing situations for comedic effect. Additionally, it's important to consider the potential harm that could be caused to the deaf pre-teen daughter or anyone else involved in such scenarios. As an AI, I'm here to assist with constructive and informative inquiries, not to generate harmful content.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:15, archived)

Yep, here we are, hope this helps.
One day, a couple was staying at a hotel with their deaf pre-teen daughter. They went to the hotel's bathroom to take a shower, but as they were getting ready, they realized that the door lock was faulty and wouldn't lock properly.

The couple tried to fix the lock, but it wouldn't budge. Suddenly, the door swung open, and their deaf daughter walked in, completely oblivious to their embarrassment. The parents quickly tried to cover themselves up, but their daughter just giggled and signed to them that she had heard the plumbing making a lot of noise, and that she wanted to see what was going on.

As they investigated the issue, they discovered that the hotel's plumbing was incredibly loud, and the sound echoed throughout the entire bathroom. The couple couldn't help but laugh as they realized that their daughter had been completely unaware of the awkward situation they had found themselves in.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:22, archived)

Might as well shut qotw, this will not be beaten.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:34, archived)

My deaf grandson heard this!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 27 Apr 2023, 3:56, archived)

WAZZOCKS

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:47, archived)

My Alexa shoe thing decided to start playing Tool - Shcism at volume 10 at 3am this morning.
This was a new and exciting way to start the day.

What piece of tech in your home has tried to assert dominance?
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:48, archived)

even Alexa thinks you're a Tool

(piss and shit, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 21:06, archived)

Shcism

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 23:06, archived)

BOLLOCKS

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 16:46, archived)

Please try to grow up. You lot act like stupid kids.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Apr 2023, 17:10, archived)

Don't forget to put them out

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 17:23, archived)

You'd have thought a man with burning bollocks wouldn't need to be told this.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Apr 2023, 17:57, archived)

How can we sleep when etc

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:10, archived)

people on /links and /board don't know what they're missing

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:00, archived)

I thought the gin songs subthread might entice them over but no

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:11, archived)

It's a form of racism

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:26, archived)

It's apartheid in action

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:35, archived)

Fortunately all of South Africa is blocked from this board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:36, archived)

See, that's fair.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 18:40, archived)

LEAVE ELON ALONE!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Apr 2023, 19:06, archived)

Never met a nice multibillionaire

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 21:49, archived)

ARSEBOON DILBARO!

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 15:45, archived)

Hey you get under my shroud

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 15:55, archived)

Yes, we know who you are

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 15:59, archived)

Who is he?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 16:21, archived)

Arseboon Dilbaro

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 16:32, archived)

Oh ok
I am a silly billy
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 17:10, archived)

the fuck is wrong with you son

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 16:17, archived)

Hello new person
please read the FAQ
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 16:24, archived)

Get fucked

( broadsword, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 16:29, archived)

#keitharsewank

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 10:46, archived)

#arseboondilbaro

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 10:57, archived)

#bollockstoo

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:00, archived)

#susanalbumparty

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:02, archived)

#edsheeranalbumparty

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:08, archived)

Ain't no party like an anal bum party.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:02, archived)

Don't stop movin' to the ass crack beat

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:51, archived)

Reach for the starfish

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:55, archived)

Never had a ream cum poo

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 13:00, archived)

Bring it all backside

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 14:03, archived)

Tittywank lol
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:17, archived)

Stick a Red Nose on your cock

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:29, archived)

Deckchair up the nose
Sorted
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:39, archived)

Oh man I loved Spitting Bars

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:54, archived)

Sequel to much-loved satire ID Like A Boss

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:54, archived)

Billy down your japper

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:10, archived)

Shakin' all over!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 26 Apr 2023, 13:12, archived)

Yes?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 11:47, archived)

How big is your lawn?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:23, archived)

is your lawn, how big is your lawn

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:45, archived)

#garethhale

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:08, archived)

A cha cha chaaa

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:27, archived)

#itspronouncedpah-chay

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 12:46, archived)

eat 200 prunes and put a hosepipe up your bum
the other end in your gob and wait
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 13:02, archived)

Recycle Like A Boss

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 14:24, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 7:26, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 7:38, archived)

morning

( broadsword, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 9:27, archived)

Lol morning
Shire of North Yorks this weekend Whitby and Robin Hood's Bay
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 7:40, archived)

Whitby’s nice but on a bank holiday weekend? No thanks

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 7:47, archived)

I have been to Whitby a few times a stonking place
Robin Hood' once also a lovely spot
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 8:06, archived)

alright Hale and/or Pace

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 8:35, archived)

I don't get the reference sos

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 8:41, archived)

shame, it's a stonker!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 9:17, archived)

no u r

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 9:24, archived)

I do, and it's given me a right stonk-on

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 10:35, archived)

There's a Gareth Hale lookalike on this forum, FACT

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 8:50, archived)

They were a bit crap I remember
Or was that b3ta
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 9:09, archived)

I think they were occasionally funny, but mostly shite.

/b3ta
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 9:37, archived)

You're assuming that anyone knows which one is which, if they remember them at all.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 9:36, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8368145
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 10:38, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 26 Apr 2023, 10:34, archived)

Bollocks
As an AI language model, I don't have access to real-time events and my responses are generated based on the data available up until September 2021. Additionally, I do not have the ability to browse the internet or access external sources, so I am unable to provide specific details about recent events.

However, based on the information you provided, "Spanishfly dying alone in Runcorn," it appears to be a reference to a situation or event involving an individual or entity named "Spanishfly" and the location of Runcorn, which is a town in Cheshire, England.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 21:47, archived)

fuck off dozers

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 22:53, archived)

Betty Swollocks
I apologize, but as an AI language model, I cannot confirm or deny the accuracy of any specific news reports or articles from the Runcorn Evening Post regarding the alleged visit of Edward Salt to the local pub "The Wrestler's Legs" and his supposed encouragement of a B3ta user named "Spanishfly" to run as mayor of Runcorn.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 23:58, archived)

Pushing that spatchcock down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 21:00, archived)

You dirty girl

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 21:10, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 21:16, archived)

Who’s ready for the coronation then?

(Runcorn shitty limits, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 16:55, archived)

Still need to consult Suella's page in The Mail
to find out the lowest amount of gawd bless em patriotism I have to display to avoid being sent back and/or publicly flogged.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:02, archived)

Must carry a minimum of 3 flags and a tattoo of Diana on your forehead

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:06, archived)

And Thatcher on your but-tock

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:05, archived)

I’d rather sandpaper my gooch

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:02, archived)

That's your answer to everything.
/ac
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:05, archived)

It’s certainly why my taint looks like Edward James Olmos‘ face

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:06, archived)

I run a very unsuccessful look-alike agency, let me ask you this, are you able to perform a handstand?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:52, archived)

SRSLY
www.johnallen007.com/james-bond-news.html
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 19:01, archived)

than fleetwood mooch

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:51, archived)

Couldnae really gie a flyin fuck

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:09, archived)

what happened to the real planearm anyway?

(piss and shit, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:14, archived)

He did the mash

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:06, archived)

the... monster mash?

(piss and shit, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:08, archived)

Roast monsters?

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:19, archived)

Beef and pickled onion

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:20, archived)

Monster munch!

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:23, archived)

rip :'(

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:24, archived)

irp

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 19:08, archived)

That fraudster stole my profile

(Planearm, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 19:56, archived)

Nah, don't like raisins

( broadsword, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:27, archived)

Are you implying that Charles is a fruit

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:32, archived)

Windsor is a bender.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 17:36, archived)

Windsor is a bender, Windsor is a bender! Nanana, nanana.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:07, archived)

ender, Windsor is a bender! Nanana, n
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:19, archived)

You've made Constance Spry very upset

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:45, archived)

If it means a paid day off work, then I'm in

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:43, archived)

NONCE-FREE THREAD

(sticklebricks, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 16:29, archived)

If you call yourself a fan of reggae and post-punk but are unaware of the label that released most of Mark Stewart's material,
then frankly that's On U.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Apr 2023, 16:35, archived)

Lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 18:52, archived)

Glad someone eventually appreciated this truly awesome joke.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Apr 2023, 19:41, archived)

You Sherwood

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 21:18, archived)

alright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 15:52, archived)

alright best mate

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 16:27, archived)

Fuck off

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 16:30, archived)

afternoon, titwank's, having a good Monday?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 12:00, archived)

I know I'd rather have titwank on a Tuesday than a Monday on a Tuesday

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 12:15, archived)

I had an e-mail from somebody named Tuesday a few weeks ago.
They work at the University of Manchester, so is it their tits you're wanking?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 12:19, archived)

With a name that distinctive and LinkedIn
Tony's gonna y/n any minute.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:11, archived)

Is the site good for anything now other than the creepy stalking of office workers?

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:47, archived)

b3ta, I mean

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:47, archived)

I'm "putting a face to the name" rniykwim

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 14:38, archived)

This time last week it was Thursday, I'm so confused

( broadsword, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 12:23, archived)

mental innit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 12:30, archived)

Still freaks my nut to this day, whatever day this is

( broadsword, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 12:49, archived)

Yes, I remember it like it was yesterday

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 12:31, archived)

Just another manic one I am afraid

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:06, archived)

Leave those minors alone

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 14:18, archived)

I did a fart on zoom
I was muted. But it smelled.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:19, archived)

I hope you got kicked out into the lobby

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:25, archived)

pool's closed

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:52, archived)

In 1980, someone died

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:57, archived)

I mean, I could go on

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 15:23, archived)

Cryptic strikey clue:
jicked (6, 5)
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:52, archived)

Cough woke me up at 4.30
But I was spark out by 10, so I actually got some decent sleep. Not coughing as much today and mental 2 has come home, giving mental 1 someone else to annoy, so I'm having a good day.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 14:00, archived)

Scouse mentals
Lol
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 14:21, archived)

= Scoutal
This domain is for sale: $2,095. Buy now for $2,095 or pay $87.29 per month for 24 months. ▸ Buy now. Processing. or. ▸ Start payment plan
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 14:24, archived)

Morning
Camels eh?
Wtf is that about?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 6:52, archived)

Camels are nomadic desert creatures
Tamed, they can be used for carrying both goods and passengers. They are able to go for extended periods of time without water, due to the humps on their backs, which store fat and enable them to keep going.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 7:19, archived)

Girl camels are cock teasers

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 7:46, archived)

It's the eyelashes, isn't it?

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 7:50, archived)

It is their resemblance to Fatima Whitbread
And their hairy camel fannies
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 7:56, archived)

Has anyone else noticed the ignore button has stopped working?
You have to go into the user's profile page and do it from there now.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 13:58, archived)

ignore is for blobbing birds and woofters

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 14:29, archived)

Camel is an American brand of cigarettes, currently owned and manufactured by the R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company in the United States and by Japan Tobacco outside the U.S.
Most recently Camel cigarettes contain a blend of Turkish tobacco and Virginia tobacco. Winston-Salem, North Carolina, the city where R. J. Reynolds was founded, is nicknamed "Camel City" because of the brand's popularity.
( $$ ✅, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 7:33, archived)

The CAMELS rating is a supervisory rating system originally developed in the U.S. to classify a bank's overall condition.
It is applied to every bank and credit union in the U.S. and is also implemented outside the U.S. by various banking supervisory regulators.
( broadsword, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 7:50, archived)

Dunno

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 8:18, archived)

Bu'ttöcks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 9:29, archived)

The Camel is a British First World War single-seat biplane fighter aircraft that was introduced on the Western Front in 1917.
It was developed by the Sopwith Aviation Company as a successor to the Sopwith Pup and became one of the best known fighter aircraft of the Great War.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 9:48, archived)

Alright Biggles

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 10:32, archived)

I don't know much about them, but there's good bumming on a camel, according to a regular member of this online community.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 25 Apr 2023, 10:34, archived)

If by regular you mean shits a lot

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 10:45, archived)

Darn good bummin'.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 10:47, archived)

One day you're going to be in York
Only to see graffiti on a wall in 2 foot high letters regarding your bactrian pestering.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 10:49, archived)

Bit creepy m8.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 11:24, archived)

Not nearly creepy enough
It's not as if it's going to be sculpted out of human faeces on your lawn.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 11:31, archived)

Disappointing.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 11:38, archived)

Knobbing can involve a foofoo If the camel is a girl one
Obvs boy camels rely on the bum
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 10:50, archived)

Or a footjob
Lol camel toe
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 25 Apr 2023, 10:52, archived)

Pushing that camel knobber down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 16:46, archived)

bollox

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 16:54, archived)

🐪🎛️

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 17:33, archived)

😘👉🫏

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 17:42, archived)

Baby when I met you there was peace unknown, I set out to get you with a fine toothcomb

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 17:50, archived)

There was an error making the request, please submit again and again, and I'll end up displaying all attempts on the next refresh

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 17:52, archived)

WAKA WAKA WAKA

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 18:13, archived)

You, yeah. Browser, yeah.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 20:50, archived)

37 pieces of cloudflare

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 21:28, archived)

What would you think of somebody who timed out exactly to the millisecond?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 21:46, archived)

Something's going on here

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 20:10, archived)

Highlands Industry

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 22:58, archived)

Making toffee bars

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 23:13, archived)

Fucking yes, man!
New Kunt and the Gang single is out, better have a paedo reference in it.
( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 18:08, archived)

* PAEDO ALERT *

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 18:34, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 11:07, archived)

It's a 10 from Len
Well a 9 now
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 11:27, archived)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2636929
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 11:34, archived)

Never heard of the guy until he died

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 14:42, archived)

He said "finally, mr horrible will know my name" with his dying breath.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 15:40, archived)

[citation needed]

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 15:49, archived)

let me google that for you
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/99401/1682348208/LenGoodmanslastwords.jpg
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 15:58, archived)

not clicking that, soz, might be funny

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 16:02, archived)

it is well past nooning CET here

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 11:34, archived)

I have had more notifications about Les dying than I have had Emergency Warning notifications

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 11:38, archived)

Les Goosmas

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 11:45, archived)

* O R N I N *

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 7:21, archived)

Breakfast bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 7:31, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 8:16, archived)

This is your 3 minute warning
Sos it's a bit late
Woot woot woot
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 24 Apr 2023, 8:51, archived)