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omg guy's
Seems like I've got a new job. woo yay dibnah
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:33, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8383318
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:36, archived)
African Bum Cleaner actually

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:41, archived)
Aw aye?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:40, archived)
y
the place I tried out for earlier this year. chap who ended up getting the job instead of me has left due to long term health issues, and as their 2nd choice I've been offered the role. sloppy seconds, but I don't care, it's pretty much my dream job
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:43, archived)
Backup fluffer, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:49, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8459176
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:57, archived)
-long term health issues +the slow poison i administered

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:27, archived)
Congratulations! As the new leader of Reform in Kent
we hope you do a great job as council leader.

STOP THOSE BOATS!!!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:53, archived)
I'm tough on migrants, tough on the causes of migrants

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:56, archived)
boats, then. they really ought to be rounding up boat makers.

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:29, archived)
I’ve got a whole raft of policies to do just that

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:34, archived)
Must have been a great campaign launch

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:36, archived)
I sailed through the presentation

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:36, archived)
Are these puns going to carry on oar are you going to stop?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:48, archived)
I’ve Knot really got any moor puns

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:51, archived)
You are seamen to run out of steam

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:04, archived)
Careful now buoy

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:04, archived)
Lead singer of the LostProphets?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:08, archived)
yep
we're recording a cover of The Kids are Alright by The 'Oo on the weekend
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:15, archived)
Written by Pete Townshend, checks out

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:47, archived)
-he +o

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:48, archived)
Townsond
monster munch
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:49, archived)
Coers

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:04, archived)
Budweiser

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:12, archived)
congrats
*comedy job assumption?*
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:33, archived)
cheers, Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:37, archived)
Nice
something in charcuterie, I bet
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 14:39, archived)
yep

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:36, archived)
Cabin boy on a winkle barge?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:21, archived)
Nigel Farage stunt cock

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:08, archived)
turtle power :*(

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:52, archived)
Well done Queef
I hope you remember all of us when you're in your ivory tower.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 15:56, archived)
I always say be nice to people on your way up. because you might meet them again on your way down.


OK if I'm honest I don't always say that. In fact I never say that.
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 16:10, archived)
u just did m8

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:51, archived)
wiv d'angelos now

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 14 Oct 2025, 17:19, archived)
Die’Angelo

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:19, archived)
Fuck's sake, it's bad form to post a death pun when somebody actually *has* died.
Justifies me checking though, I suppose.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:31, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8448458
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 18:40, archived)
‘tis the morning

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 6:08, archived)
+t

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 6:54, archived)
morningt

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 8:26, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 14 Oct 2025, 7:10, archived)
y

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 8:26, archived)
Marilyn Mandown

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 8:33, archived)
Only the crumbliest, flakiest chocolate ...
... tastes like chocolate never tasted before…
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:07, archived)
Bollocks
Lots of things taste like chocolate never tasted before, like potatoes. Or cheese. Or a sock.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:38, archived)
Mmm...sockolate

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:44, archived)
Chocolate spudding?

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:52, archived)
Next you'll be telling us that a Mars a day *doesn't* help you work, rest and play!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:57, archived)
I really hope none of the chocolate I've eaten has been previously tasted by someone

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:19, archived)
If you drill it down to the component molecules and atoms,
they will have previously been consumed by/part of countless organisms during their existence in the universe.

On the plus side, all chocolate is made of stardust.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:59, archived)
Alright, David 'avocado' Wolfe

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 14 Oct 2025, 12:24, archived)
I looked at the ingredients, there's no molecules in american chocolate

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:02, archived)
Oh well that's great news, it doesn't contain any chemicals!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:13, archived)
vacuumo

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:56, archived)
It is indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:38, archived)
It was my birthday yesterday make me feel special,
or just make me feel something*

*By something I don't mean your genitals.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 9:54, archived)
Have a wonderful World Standards Day!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:03, archived)
Many happy returns

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:12, archived)
I got you a head dobber

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:14, archived)
happy belated bidet m8
by which I of course mean GEOSTORM
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:24, archived)
GEOSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:29, archived)
Anusol!

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:36, archived)
GEEOLDSTORM

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:36, archived)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:03, archived)
I just found my 10" of Cocaine in my Brain by Dillinger
It's been missing for years, was tucked in with another record

I know you've been worrying about this so I thought you'd like to know
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:03, archived)
How is it spelled on the label? I thought it was "Cokane" but it seems to depend.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:11, archived)
Cocaine - but it's a white label and the writing is just on a sticker
You're right though, regular release is cokane

www.discogs.com/master/6788-Dillinger-Cokane-In-My-Brain-bw-Power-Bank
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:23, archived)
Do you have a copy of "I glued my balls to my butthole again"?

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:16, archived)
Have it? I fucking wrote it m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:23, archived)
Do you still own the rights,
or have you re-recorded it as "(queef's version)" a la Taylor Swift?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:29, archived)
Diss-yourself Record

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 10:37, archived)
I sold them to Michael Jackson :(

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:16, archived)
-them +my children

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 11:44, archived)
-sold +rented

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 13:03, archived)
It has taken me 39 years to clock that It's Tricky by Run-DMC is based on Hey Mickey by Toni Basil
What a fucking stupid fucking cunt I am, eh readers?

jfc
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:41, archived)
You say "readers" as though I read any of what you just wrote.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:45, archived)
you fucking did m8
you fucking did
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:46, archived)
no one is reading any of the shit we type

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:47, archived)
we act like stupid kids

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:49, archived)
=skids
maybe your pants
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:49, archived)
we have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 13 Oct 2025, 17:19, archived)
absolutely.

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 17:21, archived)
Well I certainly do

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 21:08, archived)
Oh yeah, now you mention it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 17:18, archived)
Lol, next you'll be telling us you didn't realise that DMC stood for "DeLorean Motor Company"
Due to Darryl McDaniels long term ambition to one day own the company despite it having gone bankrupt several years earlier.
(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:02, archived)
hang on what

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:45, archived)
Yeah, well known fact about Darryl McDaniels.
Or 'DMC' to his friends
(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:48, archived)
Wow
I did not know that about Darryl Motor Cdaniels
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:40, archived)
Really? Oh. Your a good lad. I've got a 1999 project debut deck to give away. Anybody want it. Cunts heavy you pay stamps

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:20, archived)
I'm old enough to remember when regularly sending letters by first class would cost you less than a heavy crack habit.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:24, archived)
any letter that exceeds the size of the stamp costs extra

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:16, archived)
I don't know what that is
so I'll politely decline
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:51, archived)
Record player.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:18, archived)
More like It's Trickly by Bum-DMC in your case, eh Queef.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:23, archived)
STEADY ON

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:50, archived)
Wank This Way

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:26, archived)

W G

Gank, monster munch
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 18:43, archived)
I'm Two Hats and I'm here to say, I'm rapping to the beat in a rapping way!
How was that? Any good?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:40, archived)
That was better than anything that falls under the definition of UK grime.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:44, archived)
It was SICKLY!

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 19:50, archived)
Fucking top notch nig

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:44, archived)
Well my name is Queef I'm the king of this town
If you check out my pants you'll find the skids are brown

*headspins*
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:48, archived)
*worms*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 21:08, archived)

fucking stupid fucking cunt pinnacle of autism, visible from space
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Mon 13 Oct 2025, 20:07, archived)
Man on the ‘Noon

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 12:53, archived)
man up my bum

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:08, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8459073
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:30, archived)
he definitely wasn't a top

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:01, archived)
Christopher Begones

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:27, archived)
Christopher Grave-Diggins

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:30, archived)
Christopher Ends

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:49, archived)
REMzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:32, archived)
Wingszzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:47, archived)
Cat vom on the floor

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:35, archived)
Tra la la la la

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:45, archived)
Womack & Womack'zzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:47, archived)
she looks like a sugar in a plum

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:54, archived)
that is what we orr

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:58, archived)
Jennifer Lopezzz

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:59, archived)
Jim Scarey

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:19, archived)
Danny DeadVito

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:36, archived)
Nick Bury

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:45, archived)
Jeffrey Tombs

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:47, archived)
Peter Spook

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:48, archived)
(Dearly Dep) Art (ed) Garfunkel

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:52, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8458768#post8458778
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:03, archived)
Dudley no Moore

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:02, archived)
... Roger no Moore, Patrick no Moore...

/the Proclaimers
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 16:06, archived)
I watched a clip of him showing off some of his glow-in-the-dark art, he is not well

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:45, archived)
Aeneas Wiener

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 13 Oct 2025, 15:35, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 13 Oct 2025, 5:54, archived)
Is that it?
I demand a refund
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 6:49, archived)
DENIED

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 12:28, archived)
oh karen

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 13:17, archived)
You knows it.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 8:44, archived)
In a manner of speaking

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 8:47, archived)
In a manner of spanking

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 8:55, archived)
In a Manning of Bernard

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 8:56, archived)
In a manor of Peking

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 8:58, archived)
In a Manor Born

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 9:00, archived)
inna manna da vida

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 9:03, archived)
inna me khaki suit an ting

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 9:06, archived)
alright Christopher Biggins

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 9:28, archived)
hi m8

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 11:50, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbPHcWbOCAY
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 14:47, archived)
In a man

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 11:05, archived)
mor ginn

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 12:01, archived)
in a manowar

(I helped save b3ta! theniwokeup has been awake since, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 12:33, archived)
Was in a bar this afternoon. Spotted small plastic bag of white powder on the floor.
Was it…

A) ketamine
B) shoe
C) anthrax

Place your bets…
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:42, archived)
Well it definitely wasn't fentanyl

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:48, archived)
lol!

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:48, archived)
Turns out B
Phew!!! All gone now…
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:48, archived)
MINUSCULE DRUGS

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 19:19, archived)

:-(
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 19:32, archived)
why do people on here call cocaine 'shoe'?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 19:44, archived)
Keeps you on your toes

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:23, archived)
I've always wondered that, try-hard twattery was always my best guess

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:25, archived)
lol

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 21:40, archived)
earliest reference I could find
b3ta.com/talk/8118036
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:28, archived)
cheers
Cheers
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 22:41, archived)
Something to do with notable fantasist 'smash monkey'.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:43, archived)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 8:11, archived)
Dearest b might tell you. Not mine to say. Shoe

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 13 Oct 2025, 1:32, archived)
Fire-roasted, finely ground Ian Watkins

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:28, archived)
baby powder

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:31, archived)
megalols

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:45, archived)
Pfft!

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 21:26, archived)
That was mine m8

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 12 Oct 2025, 20:34, archived)
Get a better dealer
It was cut with shit and we barely got three bumps each out of it. Livened up the afternoon though!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 21:24, archived)
Hi gunt's

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 15:38, archived)
Ursa Andress

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 16:17, archived)
Pic-a-nick Grimshaw

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 16:29, archived)
Sue Per(ted)kins

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 16:38, archived)
Betty Booboo

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 16:39, archived)
Johnny Balloo

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 16:55, archived)
Winnie-the-Mandela

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 17:03, archived)
Boboris Johnson

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:02, archived)
Paddington Ashdown

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:03, archived)
Gentle Benjamin Netanyahu

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 19:42, archived)
Damon Albarnaby

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:03, archived)
Hello
I am about to slip into a food coma
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 16:33, archived)
Why don’t you slip into something more comafortable?

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 18:05, archived)
John Ursa Major

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 12 Oct 2025, 17:52, archived)
DIEane Keaton

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 8:46, archived)
Diane Eaten
I'm assuming she was eaten by bears.

See also: Mick Hucknall, Holding Back The Bears.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 9:33, archived)
Tears for Bears

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 9:48, archived)
Olly Mursine

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:33, archived)
Grizzley Kicks

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:53, archived)
Mauled McCartney

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:56, archived)
Hibernate King Cole

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:57, archived)
Polars Ulrich

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 11:33, archived)
Teddy Mercury

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 12:43, archived)
Diane Passedon

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 9:46, archived)
like, just scroll down
a tiny little bit
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 9:49, archived)
^

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 9:51, archived)
Why the fuck would I bother?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 14:31, archived)
it's good exercise

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 14:41, archived)
But my back

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 15:38, archived)
so you don't look like such a cunt

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 14:52, archived)
Well this has hurt my feelings and now I'm leaving forever

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 15:38, archived)
Please don't ruin another International Day Against DRM

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:31, archived)
Democratic Republic of Moravia?

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:44, archived)
Diane's Rotting Minge

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:48, archived)
I'm so, so sorry

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 14:32, archived)
Digital Rectal Masturbation?

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 15:22, archived)
Morninge

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 7:39, archived)
Izzy Wizzy let’s get bizzy

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 8:16, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 9:23, archived)
Dyin' Keaton

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:14, archived)
Harold Void

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:55, archived)
Alright tricky!

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 23:22, archived)
shame it wsn't woody allen

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 21:25, archived)
haha more like WOODY allen eh? oh wait

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 0:33, archived)
Woody hex keyb

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 1:47, archived)
It’s fucking miserable here innit lately…
When I say lately I mean about the last 15 years.
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 23:22, archived)
This year has been brutal though, a bit like that other year when people died, 2016 was it? You couldn't it make it up.
In 2017, no one died, in 2018, no one died, in 2019, no one died...
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 0:37, archived)
I think people are still dying in Ukraine since Russia invaded. If that helps.

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 1:48, archived)
It's all in here:
www.amazon.com/Anomancy-treatise-reading-folds-wrinkles/dp/B0DX26G774
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 2:02, archived)
Ian Waskins

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 17:45, archived)
Ianform next of watkin

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:09, archived)
Ian Notkins

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:10, archived)
Music's loss is paedophilia's gain.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:16, archived)
Paedophilia's gain was music's gain

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:47, archived)
Ed

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:55, archived)
alright Ian

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:41, archived)
alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:41, archived)
😮

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:59, archived)
No real Watkins plz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 21:00, archived)
Ian Went

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:47, archived)
Ian sub-Prime

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 18:58, archived)
Falling off the rooftops, everybody stab your heart out

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:00, archived)
I want to see if it was the same lads who stabbed him last time and got another crack at it.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:19, archived)
Surprising if it's not, I'm sure the baby-raper was universally popular otherwise

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:31, archived)
Well, that's the thing.
I'm sure the entire prison was queueing up for the chance to shove a sharpened toothbrush through his throat.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:42, archived)
Mick Philpott is in the same prison, hopefully he's next.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:43, archived)
Fingers crossed

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:54, archived)
I JUST WANT MY COUNTRY BACK

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:02, archived)
^ paints roundabouts

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:18, archived)
I'm still not googling whoever the fuck that is

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:19, archived)
Killed his six kids to try and frame his ex so he would get custody and continue to claim benefits.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:33, archived)
I'm so sorry that this one particular vile cunt lives rent-free in your head for some reason

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:53, archived)
He posts on /links

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 21:21, archived)

head cell
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 9:44, archived)
Ian 'X' Watkins

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:44, archived)
I hope the rest of STEPS are ok

(Planearm, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:51, archived)
Gaz mongy, he knows about that sort of thing

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 19:59, archived)
Even the fat one?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:03, archived)
Eclair Edwards

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:09, archived)
Ian 'XXL' Watkins

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:12, archived)
Slain Watkins

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:05, archived)
Dyane Keaton

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 20:10, archived)
Ian Watafuckingshamekins

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 0:34, archived)
Lost prophet

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 12 Oct 2025, 10:04, archived)
So I just saw a young mother on her phone pushing her young daughter on a swing
the daughter was on a tablet - I had to get my device out and share my findings

Have a great weekend you b3tan spackfucks
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:16, archived)
- device
+ cock
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:16, archived)
I object to being called a spackfuck.
I prefer the term “fuckspack”.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:19, archived)

Racist
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:25, archived)
With that username?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:29, archived)
Says you with the squinting eyes

(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 15:22, archived)
Lacist

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 15:37, archived)
... is a little old place where spacks can fuck together

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:52, archived)
/talk, you mean.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 15:04, archived)
I don't give a single, solitary shit
But I respect your right to look down your nose at the parenting styles of people you don't know
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:35, archived)
- But I respect your right to look down your nose at the parenting styles of people you don't know
+ about Don Logan
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:39, archived)
^ hanging around a playground, watching children

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:47, archived)
"disguised as a school"

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:48, archived)
He'

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:02, archived)
BALTIMORA

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:16, archived)
I am talking Nonce Sense

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:20, archived)
I thought I had a week to cross the playground

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:27, archived)
-k

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 15:27, archived)
What, like Prozac or summat?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:52, archived)
Ritalin
I think
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:28, archived)
Bet you had an iWank didn’t you

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:06, archived)
Ughhh apple
Android for the anal
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sat 11 Oct 2025, 14:29, archived)
GOOD AFTERNOON
I'm at work. It's alright

Pub l8r
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 12:12, archived)
+e lol

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 12:38, archived)
I’m ate work

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 12:38, archived)
It's alrighte

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 12:56, archived)

Afternoon fuckspoon.

I am in bed.
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:07, archived)
spanfy

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:14, archived)
alright
I thought leaving it like that is character building
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 13:25, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 3:54, archived)
yes
I will turn off my house today
(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 7:16, archived)
Hello Invisible Wizard!

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 7:38, archived)
Good morning! How are you?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 7:36, archived)
morning

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 10:16, archived)
morninğ

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 8:02, archived)
morninh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 8:11, archived)
alright SSG you suicidal Welsh knobcheese

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 11:59, archived)
Still one of the funniest descriptions of anyone I’ve ever read
b3ta.com/talk/8298418
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 12:01, archived)
:)

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 12:03, archived)
anal

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 11:15, archived)
dmedff

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 11 Oct 2025, 11:28, archived)
Scott

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 11 Oct 2025, 11:51, archived)
meh,

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 11:58, archived)
b3ta

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 12:04, archived)
Top o' the Baggy Shanker to you

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 11:16, archived)
Didn't this guy play sitar with Inspiral Carpets?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baggy_Shanker
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 21:24, archived)
That Ed Gein series on netterz is ok
But it's a bit ploddy and the guy that plays him is the kid that got bummed in Queer as Folk.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 21:43, archived)
I can't help but feel this doesn't answer the question in any way.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 23:05, archived)
subtext, it's very clever

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 23:16, archived)
What would improve it for you? A slightly faster pace, so that there are more horrific senseless murders in each episode?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 23:18, archived)
charlie hunnam is a bellend and a shit actor

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 23:49, archived)
no real Smegg Wallaces plz

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 8:25, archived)
"netterz" has the same number of letters as "netflix", and typing it marks you out as a colossal cuntprick

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 10:18, archived)
'cuntprick'

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 10:36, archived)
4/7 this week ya fukaaaz!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn4lezkx2nzo
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:03, archived)
4/7 going out for a nice meal and having a lovely evening but then the taxi driver is a racist gammon and it sours the whole night a little bit

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:13, archived)
2/7 John McCrirrick Nude Pics

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:20, archived)
What did Queen Camilla say about Jilly Cooper? "Her teeth are better than mine".

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:38, archived)
1/7 If you tell me which front end you’re using right now (e.g. InvokeAI, Automatic1111, or ComfyUI), I can show you the exact node/setting combination to achieve this “palette-only img2img” workflow most cleanly — would you like that, mofaha?

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:41, archived)
5/7

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 14:30, archived)
perfect score

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 14:36, archived)
6/7, defeated only by the one article I'd actually read this week and managed to misremember.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 15:59, archived)
0/7 from zero to zero

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 16:09, archived)
i got zero by dint of not doing it

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 16:27, archived)
You dint do it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 16:28, archived)
dint i?

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 16:37, archived)
No it doesn't work like that, you currently have infinite potential points, it's only when you actually take the quiz that you'll fail miserably
Schrödinger's quiz score, innit
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 20:46, archived)
Gone Lodge

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 16:33, archived)
yes

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 16:43, archived)
Oh

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 17:37, archived)
baby

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 17:55, archived)
5/7 finding out you’re 34th in line to the throne

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 21:23, archived)
and by throne I mean a skid-splattered public convenience in Bradford

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 21:24, archived)
HARVEY PRICE SEXTAPE
not really, hullo

Busy weekend ahead?
(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:56, archived)
Going to see my dad tomorrow
Mostly spend the rest of the weekend running round after the mental
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:00, archived)
Is he still in hospital

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:02, archived)
Yep
But the antibiotics are finally starting to work, so fingers crossed
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 14:27, archived)
My mrs has pneumonia ffs

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 14:37, archived)

onia ff atic tit
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 15:25, archived)
Yeah, making a sextape with Harvey Price

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:02, archived)
Don't forget to put it on /links

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:03, archived)
Hello you cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:07, archived)
hello

(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt they call him The Handbag, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 16:38, archived)
Yeah, making a sextape with Vincent Price

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:07, archived)
Gonna call it "The Price is Tight"

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:09, archived)
Yeah, making a sex tape with Jonathan Pryce

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:09, archived)
Price Watersports Pooper

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:14, archived)
not really, no

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:17, archived)
Low energy. Sad!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:35, archived)
Second wedding anniversary today, going for afternoon tea at a swanky hotel
wank lol
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:28, archived)
it was our 26th yesterday

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:30, archived)
26th wank?
congrats though
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:31, archived)
I'm still on my first wedding

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:45, archived)
How long's it been going on for now?
Aren't you a bit sick of cake yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 12:55, archived)
Heh

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:23, archived)
he's in tiers

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:36, archived)
*polite applause*

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 13:54, archived)
you've read that wrong, it's actually very funny

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 14:37, archived)
Afternoon tea at the Malmaison Dundee
was very tastee

Fresh crab taco was the highlight
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 15:35, archived)
Braw!

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 11 Oct 2025, 8:26, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 7:15, archived)
morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 7:17, archived)
morning
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:04, archived)

I don't care if Monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too
Thursday, I don't care about you
It's Friday, I'm on /chat
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:25, archived)
Killing an Arab

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:53, archived)
alright Benjamin, don't make Donald angry again

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:56, archived)
you're making me bibi, my head is spinning

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 14:24, archived)
Spawning

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:26, archived)
I got bitches in the living room getting it on
and they ain't leaving till six in the morning
so what you wanna do? Shit
I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:47, archived)
But other than that, everything's lovely here. Morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:47, archived)
*puts the baby oil away and out of sight of the "homies"... and the baby*

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 9:40, archived)
All rappers taste the same

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:26, archived)

p
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:47, archived)
"Wait, he didn't just spell the word 'rapper' and leave out a P, did 'e?"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:02, archived)
I really picked the wrong time to launch a rap career with the stage name "P. Kelly", huh. :(

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:53, archived)

taste sound
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:50, archived)
John Barnes is indistinguishable from the Beastie Boys, they just have different garnishes.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:03, archived)
B-Real sounds indistinguishable from Guru

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:20, archived)
Jurassic 5 are indistinguishable from Geto Boys.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:28, archived)
P Diddy is an Ol' Dirty Bastard

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:36, archived)
Hang on, I thought we were saying things that *aren't* true?

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:38, archived)
Splack Pack and PM Dawn are exactly the same.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:49, archived)
Hang on, are they different people?

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:50, archived)
Not if you marinade them before pan-frying them.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:24, archived)
Disgusting

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:54, archived)
Morning

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:48, archived)
Friday is the friest day
it's after thursday's gone away,
The best friday is after payday,
So yay for friday hip hooray!
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:50, archived)
Have a wonderful World Porridge Day!

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 9:56, archived)
Porridge is nasty

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 9:57, archived)
Shut up and eat your squelchy oats

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:13, archived)
I’m throbbing my gristle as I type this

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:18, archived)
Well you sound very friendly.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:47, archived)
just an ordinary day in Manchester

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:26, archived)
I know it's early, but I might just have a glass of German wine.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:29, archived)
G-G-G-Granville!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:30, archived)
Turn and face the strange+

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 11:53, archived)
Urgh

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 10:56, archived)
The PCC have had enough of the crackheads outside my mother in law's house being a nuissance
so they've made them tidy up the road. They've picked up the rubbish, dug out the drains, sorted out the pavement. My other half has said he'd vote for them.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primeiro_Comando_da_Capital

Have you had any dealings with a global criminal cartel?
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:11, archived)
I've worked with the police in the past, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:20, archived)
I’ve posted on /links, yes

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:25, archived)
I've bought weed from a dodgy bloke in the pub
Does that count?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:37, archived)
That was me, mate.

(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:47, archived)
I've had dealings with the government, yes

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:46, archived)
I've whipped it out in public, yes

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 19:22, archived)
No but I'm stood next to Normski

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 19:25, archived)
Cheerski

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 21:56, archived)
Nextski

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 22:15, archived)
George Wentski

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 6:46, archived)
Take my mother in law
to jail
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 9 Oct 2025, 19:27, archived)
I've beakered on the internet, yes

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 21:47, archived)
I’ve been to the USA, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 22:16, archived)
I thought you were talking about the Parish Council

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 7:15, archived)
Parish Crackhead's Council, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:07, archived)
The PCC's meetings are known for being quite rumbustious
Nobody takes notes and the refreshments are provided in big white lines of powder. The music is great but there's a risk of death.
(I helped save b3ta! garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 8:49, archived)
Pall Simon :(

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:37, archived)
Me and ghoulio down by the graveyard

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:38, archived)
Greasedland

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:39, archived)
Diamonds on the souls of his shoes

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:43, archived)
Gold coins on the lids of his eyes

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:50, archived)
The Boxed

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:53, archived)
Still crazy after all these biers

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:39, archived)
huge if true

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:44, archived)
my penis

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:44, archived)
+has an ænus at the tip

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:46, archived)
please don't dox me

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:08, archived)
your cloaca is safe* with me
*unsafe
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:45, archived)
Art Defunktel

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 15:51, archived)
Departed Garfunkel

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:10, archived)
Bright corpse, burning like fire

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:18, archived)
Ferry Over Troubled Water*

* the rivers Acheron and Styx
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:19, archived)
Jokes are always better when you have to explain them with a footnote.
I feel this advice should be in teh FAQ, might e-mail rob and ask him to add that in.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:20, archived)
Is this what you meant? It does sound hellish.
Styx (/ˈstɪks/) is an American rock band formed in Chicago, Illinois, in 1972. They are known for blending melodic hard rock guitar with acoustic guitar, synthesizers mixed with acoustic piano, upbeat tracks with power ballads, and incorporating elements of international musical theatre :(
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:53, archived)

Yes
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:07, archived)
Incorporate elements of THIS!
*points at crotch*
(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:13, archived)
smellements

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 18:46, archived)
Tim BEASTwood

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:23, archived)
Sexpestwood

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:29, archived)
Tim GotWood

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:47, archived)
Tim Wormwood Scrubs

(I helped save b3ta! Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 16:50, archived)
Tim Westwouldhavegottenawaywithitifitwasntforthosepeskykids

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 17:00, archived)
The Capital Rape Show

(I helped save b3ta! Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 9 Oct 2025, 17:10, archived)
Paul Diemon

(I helped save b3ta! Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 10 Oct 2025, 7:08, archived)

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