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# Newsletter subject line compo
last night I had some boozy
not it's your turn to write a doozy
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:32, archived)
# Man fat
Top hat
Fell flat
Squashed hat
(cenaris Is dividing 3 by waffle, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:33, archived)
# [Newsletter Subject Line Placeholder Text]
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:35, archived)
# I've done versons of that joke
and it just gets people emailing in going LOL YOUR DATABASE IS SHIT
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:36, archived)
# Ha ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:39, archived)
# ha ha
Irony fail
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:40, archived)
# Ha ha ha...
You should listen to them
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:55, archived)
# Ginger Fuhrer in ginger furore
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Your database is shit:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:20, archived)
# With all your memes combined. I am Captain B3ta!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:36, archived)
# Protesters gather outside b3ta HQ: Rob orders mods to use tear gas.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:36, archived)
# YES!
I would too.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:36, archived)
# Please tell me there are tanks in the bunker, waiting to roll.
*brings popcorn*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:38, archived)
# rubber bullets, tazers, batons, water canons - the fucking lot
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:39, archived)
# Nazi sex torture dungeon?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:41, archived)
# sorry, staff only
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:57, archived)
# Sometimes, I wish I was Max Mosely... :(
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:58, archived)
# I LIKE FIRST PAST THE POST, I LIKE ALTERNATIVE VOTE. BUT WHICH ONE IS BETTER? THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT...
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:40, archived)
# Suppressing Middle Eastern uprisings
together
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:40, archived)
# roses are red, monchrome is grey
why couldn't valentines, be on friday.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:44, archived)
# Sorry I missed valentine's, please put the knife away
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:44, archived)
# Roses are red, Violets are blue,
I've got a knife, get in the van.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:46, archived)
# Newbury restaurant launches special French-themed menu
(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:46, archived)
# VERY VERY HEAVY BURTATIONS
What?! It was just a migraine...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:47, archived)
# Selling teargas to oppressive regimes...
So you don't have to
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:48, archived)
# [person from news] is so totally [pun that's related to news story]
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:49, archived)
# if you touch your genitals while reading this it will seem more interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:50, archived)
# Last night I had some red wine
So I'm too hungover to write a funny line
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:53, archived)
# B3ta newsletter - the bits of the web that aren't justin fucking bieber
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:53, archived)
# you went to the bbc news website for some prompting as well then
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:54, archived)
# ashally no.
I'm just sick to fucking death of hearing about that lesbian.
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:56, archived)
# I heard a new phrase the other day - a Biebian.
A lesbian that looks like Justin Bieber.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:58, archived)
# he's top story on bbc news:(
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:58, archived)
# Is he an angry Bahraini burying his dead?
*is confused*
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:00, archived)
# Yes*
*No
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:01, archived)
# He killed them
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:02, archived)
# Say Bieber over and over again out loud.
That's my tip for the weekend, kids.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:04, archived)
# I'm doing it right now
from a toilet cubicle

BieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieberBieber
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:09, archived)
# Bieber, Bieber! That's the sound of da fire service.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:12, archived)
# features and analysis then
the only analysis he needs is a post mortem.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:04, archived)
# Whenever he's inteviewed he comes across as a complete
moron. I think he's actually a T1000 sent back to kill the original Justin Bieber who is in hiding because he's supposed to take down Skynet in 2037.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:07, archived)
# Is he the one
who thought they didn't use the word "german" in America?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:10, archived)
# That's him.
If ever the word dullard fitted someone perfectly, it's him.

That said, he's only 14 or something and was probably doing scales and practising dancing while his mates were out standing on street corners talking about boobies.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:15, archived)
# German boobies
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:24, archived)
# Nnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhh!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:36, archived)
# will quite happily donate 30% of revenue to Apple.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:53, archived)
# Beating you down with your own shit.
Closely associated with porn sites.
Quelling global rebellion with kittens since 2001.
Piss off early, tomorrow's Saturday.
Treating the human condition with the contempt it so rightly deserves.
May contain traces of penis.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:54, archived)
# keeping the words small so you don't have to try too hard
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:57, archived)
# Shitting on the naughty step so you don't have to.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:02, archived)
# read in a funny voice and insert joke.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Digital proof that the obscenity laws are total cuntwank.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:12, archived)
# Your computer is possessed: Douse with holy water. If you can't find holy water; normal water will do.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:26, archived)
# Throwing internet rocks at your Government of choice, together.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:36, archived)
# complicatedly acronymed so as to be illegible to outsiders
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:42, archived)
# Go deeper - a meme within a meme within a meme
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:55, archived)
#
As Pratchett so eloquently put it

misery wrapped in an enema
(macroscian (1 like), Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:51, archived)
# Please think of the environment
and print out this newsletter to use as a wanksop
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:56, archived)
# Prolapsing your inbox with the butt-plug of LOLs.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:57, archived)
# -- contains more web than Mary-Jane Parker's sex-dungeon
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:58, archived)
# Just going down the park to play frisbee with the dog. He's fucking useless at it. Think I need a flatter dog.
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:00, archived)
# tea/monitor
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:01, archived)
# pfft
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:27, archived)
# you need a heavier lawn-roller.
(I helped save b3ta! Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:09, archived)
# The gunt infested newsletter that sharts in the face of other newsletters.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:01, archived)
# bringing a different meaning to a meat feast

/ac
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:01, archived)
# The Monopolies Commission
Why's there only one of them, huh?
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:02, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:20, archived)
# shouting swear words in the distance
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:06, archived)
# B3ta - understanding the big society so you don't have to
(I helped save b3ta! Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:07, archived)
# Doing the Electric Horse dance
(I helped save b3ta! Kris Fucking Kristofferson, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:11, archived)
# "Islam lol"
Go on. What's the worst that can happen, Rob?
(UltimateMonkey Ban this sick filth!, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:11, archived)
# Sudden explosive death?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:22, archived)
# hopefully the time jiggery doo dad will work... if not skip to 6.16 for relevence or watch all for lols :)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BB6TlBzKqU&feature=player_detailpage#t=377s
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:03, archived)
# time jiggery doo dad worked.
But went back and watched it all anyway. Ta
(UltimateMonkey Ban this sick filth!, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:39, archived)
# all your forests are belong to us
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:18, archived)
# starting riots in Mulsim nations since 2011
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:19, archived)
# Star Wars LOL
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:19, archived)
# Keeping you occupied while we finger your girlfriend.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:25, archived)
# Your end is nigh. My end goes all the way.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:28, archived)
# yep, still going
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:30, archived)
# Pretending to be an aeroplane in the background of your video
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:32, archived)
# Um in ya brayne, killin' ya sells.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:35, archived)
# Since when did fucking up your lines become a mini-stroke?
(UTB, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:45, archived)
# Now with added illusion of democracy
(macroscian (1 like), Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:54, archived)
# FREE B3TA LOYALTY CARD WITH EVERY ISSUE*
*May only apply to certain issues
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:04, archived)
# Here With Last Night's Biryani Uprising.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:10, archived)