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# Rude Fireworks


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I've spent the last week making new labels for a box of Fireworks. I hope my fellow b3tans find them as amusing as I do. In case you can't read them, here are the names:

1. VOMIT FOUNTAIN
2. SPUNK SPRAY
3. SHIMMERING JISM
4. SHIT STORM
5. HAPPY ENDING
6. CUNT BUSTER
7. HAEMORROID ATTACK
8. MEAT SEEKING PISSILE
9. RELEASED OTTERS
10. CLUSTER FUCK
11. GOLDEN SHOWER
12. UBER TWAT
13. THUNDER CUNT
14. FROTHING GASH
16. BARKING SPIDER
17. PHALLIC SPURTER
18. FOOTLONG FUCKER
19. SKY FART
20. MISSION TO YOUR ANUS
21. AERIAL BASTARD
22. CUNTYBOOBY
(Mekon74, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 20:29, archived)
# Hahaha :D
loveit
(I helped save b3ta! herman:D, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 20:32, archived)
# *orders 77777 cunt busters*
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 20:34, archived)
# wow
(teasus likes tea, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 13:10, archived)
# I'll take 7 cuntyboobies and a Sky Fart please
:D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 20:42, archived)
# hahaha
haemmorroid attack and aerial bastard are my favourites
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 20:44, archived)
# I got three gold runs on cunt buster
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 20:46, archived)
# Did you need a P?
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 0:36, archived)
# And did it burn?
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 0:37, archived)
# Nice.
But if you loved us, you'd let us download the labels and print them for ourselves.
(I helped save b3ta! Kung_Fu_Russ ran out of amusing signatures on, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 20:47, archived)
# Labels PDF
Oh okay then. These involved a lot of work, so I hope you appreciate them. Some of the labels may be cropped in this PDF. You may also like to know that the pack is the TNT "Merlin" selection box. I got it from Aldi.
docs.google.com/open?id=0Bx6c4Id7Y3cTY1JiRE5MQ2tHaVk
Please get back to me with any improvements you make or tales of fun you had with them.
(Mekon74, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 22:33, archived)
# Nice attention to detail there.
excellent work
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 0:29, archived)
# Okay I finally had to look up the word to make sure I wouldn't misuse it.
You're a mensch!

I'm not even buying any fireworks in the near future and I'm still somehow grateful.
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 3:48, archived)
# I was about to ask the same thing
Right then, off to Aldi!

I thank you sir, you are an officer and a gentleman.
(teasus likes tea, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 13:12, archived)
# Oh Yes.
I'm loving these.
Superb attention to detail, and clearly the work of a sick mind.
I salute you !
(I helped save b3ta! The Mighty Gusset Doesn't Care - And Doesn't Care Who Knows It !, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 17:13, archived)
#
I saw that you gave out the PDF in the newsletter. THANKS!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Kung_Fu_Russ ran out of amusing signatures on, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 17:34, archived)
# I'll take 10 Aerial Bastards!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 21:05, archived)
# 21. AERIAL BASTARD
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 21:05, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! An Egg ,D, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 21:17, archived)
# Outstanding.
 
*golf clap*
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Sun 21 Oct 2012, 21:20, archived)
# LOL Aerial Bastard
Nice swears, 'click'
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sun 21 Oct 2012, 23:43, archived)
# That's fucking superb
Needs to be newslettered next week methinks.
Now, off to find a friendly shopkeeper who'll let me adulterate his stock...
(I helped save b3ta! loonybean giving as good as he gets since, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 10:46, archived)
# Hahahaha
Brilliant. Lovely sweariness.
(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 11:54, archived)
# Ha ha!
hopes for skat-ring wheel and bukkake bomb appears soon!
(I helped save b3ta! @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 15:23, archived)
# Bukkake Bomb
"Bukkake Bomb" will certainly make it in, if I make any in the future. :)
(Mekon74, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 18:17, archived)
# That's truly something special
wow
(I helped save b3ta! Milkman Dan, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 16:49, archived)
# release the otters!
(teasus likes tea, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 17:03, archived)
# :D
:D

I repeat:

:D
(I helped save b3ta! admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 18:05, archived)
# nice work, Steve
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Mon 22 Oct 2012, 19:05, archived)
#
This just made me chuckle heartily, it warms my heart to know that b3ta is full of people who are just as stupid, retarded and downright fucking childish as I am!
(I helped save b3ta! Phil McCavity, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 19:34, archived)
# This.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Oct 2012, 20:06, archived)
# that is
absolutely outstanding, thanks for making me laugh until I wept :D
(I helped save b3ta! parsons* *restrictions apply, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 20:11, archived)
# This is the best thing I have ever seen.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 20:58, archived)
# One question, what was the original box?
I need to buy the same selection to stick my .pdf labels on and take to the church firework display...
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 21:36, archived)
# £20 from Aldi
As mentioned above, the pack is the TNT "Merlin" selection box. I got it from Aldi for £20. I'm glad people like it. I've wanted to see something like this for years but only just got round to making it happen. I might put the box labels on a PDF later if I can be arsed. :)
(Mekon74, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 22:13, archived)
# PDF UPDATE!
Box labels and a wrong firework code are here:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0Bx6c4Id7Y3cTS0pWU1NWS2FaYUU

Please also note that the "Happy Ending" firework is missing because I accidentally deleted it. :/
(Mekon74, Mon 22 Oct 2012, 22:41, archived)
# awesome work there!
The otter one had me in stitches.
Also, looks to me like sum1 could take all the gfx from the pdf and mock up the 'product line-up promo' pic in a 3D package for ultra un-realism.
Time 2 fire up Blender 3D!
(Heliosphan, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 3:32, archived)
# you forgot
23. RUSTY SHERIFF'S BADGE
(I helped save b3ta! zog why change it now?, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 12:31, archived)
# Fucking
Awesome
(mersault, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 16:16, archived)
# The funniest is the least sweary -
Aerial Bastard!

Jolly good show!
(bellend Olde Phart, Tue 23 Oct 2012, 17:16, archived)
# I've been given credit for your PDF in the newsletter after I messaged them suggesting It was included because it's spectacular.
Sorry about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 19:57, archived)
# Fireworks Credit
Hi Noel.

Yeah I noticed that. It was a little strange seeing it, but ultimately it's irrelevant since the alternative would only have been my B3ta moniker; "Mekon74" rather than my real name, Steve Lovell.

Anyway, I'm glad everyone seems to universally like the rude fireworks. Thanks for your compliment.

I just wish my website was fully working and that I'd put it's details on the PDF as well. Ah well.
(Mekon74, Fri 26 Oct 2012, 20:34, archived)
# I gazzed those in the know so they can put folk right in the next issue.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 27 Oct 2012, 3:34, archived)
# Bloody bloody bloody brilliant.
and... I actually thought of this last year at the firework party... We were pulling the explosives out the box and I was calling each one by an 'alternative' name, very similar to yours. People were having a good laugh at me, as was I.

You shopped the image/labels though, I didn't. Kudos.
(I helped save b3ta! Black Moon Not cracked, I'm all up to be., Sun 28 Oct 2012, 10:40, archived)