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# Newsletter subjlols suggestions
lets have topical one liners
from the moaners and whiners
(I helped save b3ta! God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 11:56, archived)
# B3ta newsletter 638
as reliable as a Gaza ceasefire
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:02, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:03, archived)
# Do you enjoy eating PIG SNOT? Then you're sure to enjoy this NEWSLETTER!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:03, archived)
# *generic comment here*
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:05, archived)
# As friendly as an Israelli handshake.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:08, archived)
# "ENTER MY TERRORIST TUNNEL AND SEE MY GAZA STRIP!"
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:49, archived)
# That need's to be a sex card in an Israelli phonebox
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:59, archived)
# 'OCCUPY MY NEUTRAL ZONE WITH YOUR TROOPS'
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:13, archived)
# "DROP YOUR LOAD AND BLOW THEIR DOORS IN"
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:16, archived)
# 'CARPET BOMB MY U.N. SCHOOL'
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:20, archived)
# "FUCK MY GAZA FACE"
*change of pace*
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:27, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:06, archived)
# Ha ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:07, archived)
# *comment*
*click*
(macroscian (1 like), Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:16, archived)
# Haha
The horror
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 16:03, archived)
# Hahaha this is why I come to b3ta
(I helped save b3ta! ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Sat 2 Aug 2014, 15:29, archived)
# ^THIS
(I helped save b3ta! spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sun 3 Aug 2014, 22:24, archived)
# STOP TEASING US!
(DolphinWhipperer, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:09, archived)
# Let's keep up the pretense
Everyone look busy
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:13, archived)
# This edition arriving on time... unlike some airlines
*so very sorry*
(I helped save b3ta! Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:13, archived)
# ceci n'est pas un newsletter
(emptyspace, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:19, archived)
# What newsletter?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:22, archived)
# Contains more points than the English Gymnastics Team
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:25, archived)
# Newsletter
newsletter, newsletter, newsletter, newsletter, newsletter, newsletter, newsletter. In not more than fourteen words.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:32, archived)
# Cornflakes
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 1 Aug 2014, 16:11, archived)
# Freebs!
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 16:12, archived)
# BLOWING UP IN YOUR INBOX LIKE A TOPICAL NATURAL DISASTER, MISSING AIRCRAFT OR ESCALATING REGIONAL CONFLICT.
I think that covers most bases.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:35, archived)
# TUNNOCKS, ISRAEL, PUTIN, EBOLA, GAS PRICES, MORE ISRAEL. Next up; the weather with Carol.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:37, archived)
# ASPARAGUS PISS FINGERS
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:38, archived)
# "Porco Rosso, cleared to taxi, proceed to runway one-niner, standby".
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:39, archived)
# 'Not available on the internet'
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:41, archived)
# Now available on the "Dark Web "
(I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:34, archived)
# This would not come as a complete surprise tbh.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:35, archived)
# THIS ONE TIME I WAS DRUNK AND WALKED OUT INTO THE COUNTRY AND A HORSE STARED AT ME FROM A FIELD AND ALL I COULD THINK WAS HOW DOES HE KNOW I'M PISSED?
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:41, archived)
# 'God doesn't understand /Bugs and feature requests'
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:42, archived)
# HappyToast found dead -- drbroon being held for questioning
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:43, archived)
# haha what??
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:57, archived)
# angins too good 4 u
bern im
(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:12, archived)
# Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:23, archived)
# When you order online, you will be sent a link to the b3ta newsletter
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:44, archived)
# The internet's very own solitary old man in the pub invites you to 'finish his crossword', as it were.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:45, archived)
# B3ta; hiding behind bodyguards and fucking your ex
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:45, archived)
# ^
Genuine lol
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:50, archived)
# Newsletter writer wanted.....apply within
(I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:46, archived)
# THIS B3TA GAME IS SHIT, THE CONTROLS ARE UNRESPONSIVE AND THE GRAPHICS ARE CRUDE AND POORLY ANIMATED. SHIT LEVEL DESIGN AND STUPID NPCS. COME ON DEVS SORT IT OUT FFS 2/10
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:47, archived)
# copying the first review of every greenlit game on steam doesn't count :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:50, archived)
# Ha ha ha,
rumbled!

You need to get DayZ sometime man, join us...
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:55, archived)
# That game scares me lol
I've got the mod one for Arma 2, not the standalone one though, could never get it to run properly :(
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:57, archived)
# Ha ha ha, no-one can get it to run properly!
My mate just upgraded his machine to full PC Master Race status, spent over a grand and a half and he's lucky if he gets 40 FPS.

It's buggy as fuck, but it has a certain charm. I've never been as shit scared playing a game as I have with DayZ. The zombies are a bit crap, but when you meet other players it is intense.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:01, archived)
# I've seen the torture vids
It's like A Serbian Film but with zombies.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:10, archived)
# Yeah, there's some sick puppies playing.
A lot of players are just playing it as deathmatch at the moment. It's the others that you have to watch out for, the 'hey man, follow me over here' types are the worst. That never ends well. I've met a few people and teamed up, but unless you really know them you never know if or when they're going to turn on you.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:19, archived)
# Reading the Walking Dead comics at the moment
It is like a DayZ diary, a lot more volatile than the comics, well worth a read even if you've seen them all on the box (different enough to warrent it).

I'd like to see all the kids from COD playing that game just to see them go ferral.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:25, archived)
# I've read around about the first hundred Walking Dead comics
It gets pretty fucking dark, doesn't it? The governor sequence was probably the grimmest thing I've ever read in a comic.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)
# Haven't reached that point yet
Still in the prison (although that's well fucked up), very dark at present, looks like they've had to tone it down for the show (which is saying something lol). Just reached the point where swordgirl has appeared.

I am looking forward to the Governor bits to see how they compare :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:55, archived)
# It goes to a very very dark place.
I struggled to read it.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 15:16, archived)
# IT TOOK ALL DAY TO FUCKING DOWNLOAD AND IT'S ALL STUTTERY AND SHIT I HAVE A 64GB 8 CORE XEON FOR FUCKS SAKE!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:53, archived)
# Ha ha
WTF coderz lern 2 code
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:54, archived)
# THEY IS ALL DOIN A MODERN APPRNTISHIP LOL INNIT
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:55, archived)
# They iz all not gettin paid when I run off wiv da Kickstarter fund, rofl
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:58, archived)
# They thought they were going to get 30K
They won't even get a cup of tea! LOLZ
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:00, archived)
# There used to be a game for the ZX Spectrum called Dictator.
One of the purchases you could make as supreme ruler of your domain was an escape helicopter. This would be my first purchase if I ran a Kickstarter fund.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:04, archived)
# crowdfunding lol
I did have a punt on this though.

Also, This is going to be fantastic :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:11, archived)
# Ha ha ha, that film looks ace!
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:25, archived)
# Wow, Kung Fury looks awesome :D
Reminds me alot of Farcry Blood Dragon
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:33, archived)
# You wait for ages and ages, then 3 arrive at once.
(I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:50, archived)
# So I was like totally walking along the roadside and I was like totally eating like a total candy bar and like I was like
PAY ME MONEY OR I CONTINUE THE STORY
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:51, archived)
# 'b3ta's version of The Dead Parrot Sketch'
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 1 Aug 2014, 12:56, archived)
# Genuine LOLs®
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:28, archived)
# Ebolab3ta!
(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:12, archived)
# GET BENT
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:15, archived)
# Mods, you're not very consistent here
Anyone pretending to be Gilgamesh was banned on sight not that long ago. In the interests of fair play can you start banning anyone pretending to be THFH yeah thanks
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:31, archived)
# I retrospectively endorse this post
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Fri 1 Aug 2014, 23:03, archived)
# Both Jew and Palestinian friendly.
(mrmatt is staging a 'dirty protest' on, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:38, archived)
# And for those reasons, I'm out.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:40, archived)
# Are you black and have a summer cold? Get to the London underground and scare the shit out of everyone.
(waxdart hello., Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:43, archived)
# well ghey
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 13:58, archived)
# THARZ IS THER NEWZ AT TERN, BURRRRNNNGGG!
*belms*
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:00, archived)
# Get Pact!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:42, archived)
# Hello, hello. It's good to be back, it's good to be back
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:45, archived)
# YOU DEAD BASTARD
de-ris xrrf.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/promoterobit-jon-fat-beast.html
(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 14:55, archived)
# wanking in a hot office
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 15:00, archived)
# OMG WELL IF IT AIN'T THE FUCKING NEWSLETTER!
Huzzah!
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 15:23, archived)
# B3ta cancels newsletter delivery contract with airport baggage handlers after only 2 weeks
(I helped save b3ta! CanonCaliber A big bore, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 15:50, archived)
# YES WE SOMETIMES MISS A FEW ISSUES BUT AT LEAST WE DIDN'T BOMB ANY SCHOOLS
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 15:53, archived)
# Plucks your pubes with extreme prejudice
(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 16:15, archived)
# Sponsored by Secret Cinema.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 16:54, archived)
# Erm...is this a ploy to get folk posting?
Notice how they're not posting pictures, see them as they disappear until next week. Feast your eyes on these poor, few, minuscule fucks that are left to give. Have a gander at the bloated b3ta corpse as it farts it's last putrid stench into the abyss...
(I helped save b3ta! Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 17:42, archived)
# they're all busy hitting f5 on facebook
(macroscian (1 like), Fri 1 Aug 2014, 18:04, archived)
# And playing Crimebossfarmcrushcandyvillemafia
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 18:08, archived)
# ^winner
Now try fitting all that on the subject line
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 18:48, archived)
# b3ta: closing down sale now on!
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Fri 1 Aug 2014, 19:46, archived)
# Nice to know that God still loves the "moaners and whiners" who comprise His flock.
/get bent, cunt
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Fri 1 Aug 2014, 23:05, archived)