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from the post office and bank and I had a J Arthur Jodrell in Jeff's honour.

Though up this limerick on the way:

There was an young twat called jeff,

And then I thought, "not a lot rims with Jeff"...

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:43, archived)

Rims with jeff?

I could imagine young Jeff would quite enjoy a spot of rimming.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:44, archived)

You

could use Deaf

(

DontHaveAClue, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:47, archived)

There was a young Twat called Jeff

To our shouts of 'Fuck off' he was deaf.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:47, archived)

we yelled and we yelled
and told him he smelled
and sooner or later he lef(t)

(

rosey, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:51, archived)

this isnt popbitch you know.

change it to:

There was a young twat called jeff
who spent all his loot buying wyclef.
when wyclef was bought i'll buy b3ta he thought
but they told him to shove it instead.

Jeff - When come back bring pie!

(icedragon, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:55, archived)

There was a young Twat called Jeff

To our shouts of 'Fuck off' he was deaf.
Despite our best efforts,
He would'nt just leave us,
Parhaps we should spong him like that Ref.

(Seaneeboy, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:57, archived)

Efforts and leave us?

Highly dubious ;)

(Amerella, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:59, archived)

Maybe it

works better after a few beers. slurring and all that.

Tell you what, i'll nip to the pub now, have five pints, then try it again.

Purely in the interests of science.

(Seaneeboy, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 10:05, archived)

see you in the pub

Yours sincerely

Professor Ninepints

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 10:07, archived)

Go for it,

we need to know. I'm sure your boss'll understand ;)

(Amerella, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 10:09, archived)

anyone seen

This yet?
its quite good.
(needs sound)

(icedragon, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:40, archived)

Hummm

Interesting.

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:55, archived)

very funny

looks like jeff

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:56, archived)

Good morning again...

Sorry I had to dash off to yet another Breakfast meeting....[it's and American thing....]

I didn't get to reply to all your hellos, how rude of me is that. So thank-you Wingnut, Djmothra, Fluff, bovine2000 and Kaydup.

so lovely to be here again....

Nice to see Jeff has been keeping you all amused in my absence..... thank-you for that Jeff, heres 50p for your trouble now please be a good soup dragon and get back into your well as the clangers are begining to wonder where you are....!!

xx

(

Lula too poor to pay attention, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:40, archived)

for people who missed it

jeff timespaz:

www.b3ta.com/board/1/6/7/8/1/2/

(

buttercup, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:43, archived)

Wow!

Jeff must be causing a stir if he's made Cal delurk...

(Amerella, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:46, archived)

hey!

i never lurk. i'm usually busy working

(

buttercup, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:49, archived)

lurk...work...

same difference!

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:51, archived)

Ooops! Sorry,

I believe you, I do ;) I have noticed that you and Pep are clearly too damn busy at work these days...

(Amerella, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:52, archived)

So he's made you

de-work?

/coat

(

Craymen, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:52, archived)

de klerk?

(Esteban, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:56, archived)

Nice cup of jeff?

(Shambola, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:38, archived)

One thing in Jeff's favour,

we've seen more of the S.Korean lady. :)

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:47, archived)

more...

or more? o_0

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:52, archived)

Filthy perv!

Not actually more of her, which is a shame, really...

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:54, archived)

new guess the song.....

(

raw-edge, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:37, archived)

foos

my hero.

(alonerdottiearebel, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:39, archived)

i seem to be making them toooooo

easy...will have to shift through my cds at work and find a few more obscure ones

(

raw-edge, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:42, archived)

I'm about to enjoy

a nice cup of blackcurrent, ginseng and vanilla tea. Does this make me a lesser man?

(lowey, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:37, archived)

oh, definately.

In fact, if I were Jeff, right now I'd be calling you a twat.

Just kidding

(

Craymen, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:38, archived)

Dip your

sausage roll in it.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:40, archived)

Too late,

I ate it rather quickly and am now covered in bits of pastry. I fear if I go outside i'll be attacked by a band of hungry badgers.

(lowey, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:43, archived)

Ooooooh.

Badgers.
Evil.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:46, archived)

good night / bad night

won a 'commendation' (best fmcg)
but on the plus side, two very attractive women threw themselves at me

(

isthisyou?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:32, archived)

See?

I told you the stripey shirt would work.

(Amerella, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:36, archived)

and you

were right

(

isthisyou?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:42, archived)

Always nice when that happens,

although you chose the shirt so you get all the credit really ;)

(Amerella, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:48, archived)

no, i insist

after you

(

isthisyou?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 10:01, archived)

just to clear things up - these are the people you should look out for

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:27, archived)

That reminds me.

I made some jeffrey animations.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:39, archived)

that

made me laugh just as the boss went by, could be in trouble now, we're not here to enjoy our work now are we?

(

dhobi Mur Inhexha!!, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:44, archived)

Made me..

...*snigger* - Woo !

(

Darryn.R, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:45, archived)

*snort*

I wish I had such funny stuff to spaz.

My back catalogue is rather poor.

(

Craymen, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:46, archived)

Yay!

The first thing I see when I log on is me sitting on Jane's lap. First class!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:45, archived)

Have you changed jobs?

You appear to be able to b3ta during work hours these days...

(Amerella, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:49, archived)

apologies in advance

(

santexo, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:25, archived)

good

stuff

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:27, archived)

tee hee hee - nice one

but imagine that - Jimi Hendrix lost! I thought he was dead.

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:29, archived)

I liked the subtle

Cannibal Corpse mention in the top banner :)

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:31, archived)

What ever she's grinding out on that ax of hers,

the pixies sure do love it!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:31, archived)

she makes an awful racquet

(optiplex, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:32, archived)

going to post office and bank

Bye Bye

If anyone sees jeff send him my fondest love

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:19, archived)

If I see Jeff,

I'll give him your fondling love...

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:21, archived)

If I see him

I'll give him a falling log.

what?

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:23, archived)

eh?

you fall out of bed on your head or what?

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:26, archived)

or indeed any kind

of woodland debris.

(

estuardo estuardo, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:33, archived)

thank you

boing!

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:23, archived)

Jeff

Is that ryming slang?

(Jeff, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:22, archived)

was that rimming or rhyming?

No I'm going to the post office to send you a love letter and the bank to take out all your money.

PS The rHyming slang (amongst others) is Jodrell Bank...

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:25, archived)

I like "J. Arthur" the best...

...even though it didn't make sense when I first heard it!

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:28, archived)

I take it

you meant Rhyming. Although thinking about it, you were probably thinking rimming!

(

DontHaveAClue, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:26, archived)

I'm sure we could make

'Jeff' rhyming slang for something

(

Craymen, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:26, archived)

Just

Everybody's Favourite Fella

Fwar. Etc.

(

witchy is covered in BEES, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:29, archived)

The meaning of the name Jeff

Jumped-up Excreble Fuck Face

(

DontHaveAClue, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:36, archived)

wish my name was simply "Jeff"

Or maybe just "Bob" something simple. On my passport it would just say Bob - no surname, just a simple one sylable name for me.

(Esteban, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:34, archived)

Morning all...

What a lovely sunnyday it is here in Leeds... with any luck there will in fact be the Sunshine Sheilas that have been missing from here but populating the rest of the country yesterday...

(Seaneeboy, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:18, archived)

Oh yes

the summer boob show is certainly begining to start here in the Toon

(

DontHaveAClue, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:20, archived)

I knew

there was something I missed about not working in Leeds anymore... still it's not too bad over Halifax way.

(

armaitus Sheep Casings!, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:31, archived)

it's not that sunny

up headingley way...

(

beardman, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:33, archived)

Good grief,

Did'nt realise theres lots of yorkshire-boarders on b3ta - how odd... I'm actually on the edge of Horsforth, so there are very very few sunshine sheilas. plenty of grannies though. not really my scene though, y'know?

(Seaneeboy, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:46, archived)

thankyou

right, does the board run up or down?
did jeff just call me a kob? whats a kob?

(alonerdottiearebel, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:17, archived)

Guess

it depends on which way your scrolling :)

it runs top to bottom

(

DontHaveAClue, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:19, archived)

side to side

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:19, archived)

Kob

An orange-brown African antelope (Kobus kob) of Gambia east to Uganda and Ethiopia, having lyre-shaped horns in the male

(Jeff, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:21, archived)

yup

kob is a knob wiv a bit missing? but your (sic) a rounded potuberence now. like a wart (apparently) oh, and he cussed yor mummm. u gonna take that? give 'im a slap!

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:21, archived)

well

at least my mum can spell.

(alonerdottiearebel, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:34, archived)

It's what you eat

Korn off is'nt it?

Although why you'd want to eat a somewhat suspicous set of rock stars escapes me...

(Seaneeboy, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:25, archived)

Marmot 1 x 1

(Airshod, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:14, archived)

Ooch

No wonder his mouths open.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:17, archived)

tee hee

a woo, yay, hoopla for the gentleman in the corner there.

(pibakic, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:17, archived)

what optional extras

does that come with? Can I have traction control and manual slip-diff override?

(Esteban, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:26, archived)

Extra!

It comes with your actual walnut veneer, classy speed-stripes, fluffy dice and one of those alpine air freshener thingies.

(Airshod, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:41, archived)

Can

I get all that at a low, low, low everyday price? Do you do any finance agreements? Do you have a runnabout for my missus - she just needs something for school runs and doing the shopping. She likes red.

(Esteban, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:48, archived)

.......

7p and that's my final (and only) offer. Colours available are Marmot Brahn, Road-Kill Red (one for the wife, I believe) and of course Day-Glo Pink.

(Airshod, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:55, archived)

I know you're there

I can see you lurking.

(

Craymen, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:07, archived)

Oh no!

I'm never going to browse in the nude again.

(Indole Ring, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:09, archived)

Yes,

we are and yes, we lurk, but don´t tell anybody.

(MJFallout has not posted anything for many many years, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:10, archived)

That has inspiredme to

spaz this.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:10, archived)

hehehe

Is that you?

(

Craymen, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:13, archived)

Its is.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:13, archived)

You look like someone I used to know.

Uncanny.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:14, archived)

Maybe I am

someone you used to know.
Who was he?

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:16, archived)

Neil.

Any good?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:17, archived)

I dont believe it!!

Nope, thats not me.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:19, archived)

Thought not.

He had that same smug look about him at times, tho'.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:20, archived)

It's Grahem Taylor!

Do you not like that!

(Mattyboy, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:32, archived)

That is class.

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Smug.

(

Craymen, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:19, archived)

snap

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:21, archived)

Could you

try and look any more smug? I think you can.

(lowey, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:22, archived)

Drink your herbl tea

and shut yer face.

(

bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:36, archived)

*snort*

*choke*

(

isthisyou?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:29, archived)

The Hun lay in fear

As Group Captain "Tiddles" Tiddlesworth struck up the engines on his trusty Spitfire

(plankton, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:04, archived)

Wheres a pedantic monkey when you need one ?

looks more like a hurricane to me. This inaccuracy has ruined my day now. Maybe i will go to the pub to drown my sorrows.

*edit. Sorry meant to say i liked it.

(Jim Pooley, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:33, archived)

Sorry

I left my handy boy's own book of "Feline Fighters of the second world war" at home and had to make up something on the spot. I am suitably chastised.

(plankton, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:38, archived)

oh and I put the histories into one gif

(

Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:03, archived)

I do like that

It made me laugh first time and makes me laugh now. Woo Yay, houpla and all that...

(

Monkeyboy, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:10, archived)

i saw this and thought of you

Covert video shows badgers infiltrating cowsheds

good headline, rubbish article

(

new_matt, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:01, archived)

God damn

I´m really bored.
Thought about the dalai lama, but something went wrong, I think.

(MJFallout has not posted anything for many many years, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:01, archived)

yeah,

i saw jeff yesterday, what was his problem?

(alonerdottiearebel, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 8:59, archived)

Jeff

rounded protuberances like you

(Jeff, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:01, archived)

Jeff, do you touch type?

If so, check your keyboard for missing keys. Then check your hand for missing fingers...
:)
[edit: I see that "kobs" has become "rounded protuberances". Very long words there Jeff, your mummy must be so proud...]

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:03, archived)

Excessive

use of expletives imply an inactive and naive imagination.

Join in the fun, don't be such a d**khead

When I started submitting I was Glass c**ked more times than I care to remember AND someone even put my head on Marilyn Munroes body (don't post a piccie in your profile).

Dignify your language or fuck off with the insults

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:09, archived)

errr....

dick cock fuck? - hehe, sounds a bit naive n inactive to me! :)
never seen this board so nasty to anyone - funny!!

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:17, archived)

but did jeff spot the cunning (careful) use of language?

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:21, archived)

still a tad

of attitude don't you think?

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:15, archived)

If Carling made News Stories

... they'd be like this.

news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/health/newsid_2067000/2067223.stm

(kieranw, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 8:55, archived)

just sent it

to my fiance

happy hour tonight!

(

thebear is thebear, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:04, archived)

Um...

Isn't that Carlsberg ad?
Great story tho' -
"However, they warned that their findings should not be used to encourage people to practise unsafe sex."
Won't stop me ;o)

(

helmetcream, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:06, archived)

like this bit...

'Mr Gallup said the findings may also apply to women who engage in unprotected oral sex and people who engage in anal sex. But he said further research was needed in these areas.'

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Thu 27 Jun 2002, 9:34, archived)

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