b3ta.com board

Home » Messageboard » Archive 2572 (Older | Newer)

My dog has pooritis

and needs and operation costing £2100, or he will die. Any donations are greatfully accepted. Please ignore previous post regarding student/overdraft.

(Choaderboy, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:07, archived)

Anybody want a wart?

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1759960383&rd=1

(

benjymous help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:58, archived)

Hi Everybody!

you ever get that feeling when you've been working hard on creating a site, you are going to take it to show thclient in six hours, and then you realise your colleagues in the US are complete fuckwits who deleted while you were in the pub celebrating last night night?

Im going McDonalds, to cry over a soss Mcmuff

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:53, archived)

Do you

have backups?
Or are the disks marked "Backup" just cunning ruses to disguise pr0n?

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:56, archived)

Backups are over in the US

and they dont get in the office till about two hours before client meeting.

Apparently, its takes some of them up to two hours to do to differentiate between their arse and elbow, so Im not confident that they'll rectify the situation when they do arrive.

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:03, archived)

Got to love the Americans,

not sure if it's true but I once heard we lost more troops to friendly fire from them then actually got killed by the Iraqis in the Gulf War.

And now you're the victim of it too.

(ComaToast, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:10, archived)

They are very good

at shooting UN vehicles and Chinese embassies aren't they?
But despite all their problems, I do so want to emmigrate there.
Did I manage to avoid starting a flame war?

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:20, archived)

Im banned from the whole continent

so I aint bothered about flaming them.

tosspots.

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:21, archived)

Sounds

like there's a story there...

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:24, archived)

not really

its quite easy to get a ban entering the US if you know what you are doing : )

might involve plants though

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:26, archived)

if you've got a communist country stamped on your passport

that's pretty much a no-no, too

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:29, archived)

I was hoping for excitement and maybe a little derring-do!

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:29, archived)

Not Quite so glamorous

just used to grow and distribute some plants. Got caught though, and the US places a flat 7 year visa refusal for anyone with a dope conviction.

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:37, archived)

What is it with Americans and Dope?

I love all those old films with Evil Pot Smoking Fiends!

(ComaToast, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:45, archived)

its cos

they are cnuts.

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:49, archived)

What?

You'd move there under the current paranoid government?

(

Craymen, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:23, archived)

No.

I'm biding my time. They freak me out at the moment.
I'm wating until Senator Palmer is inaugurated.

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:27, archived)

Why?

(

thebear is thebear, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:40, archived)

It seems to be becoming an unfortunate

habit for the American military. Even when they're using more 'accurate' methods some fool ends up pointing them at their allies... or a weding party, or a foreign embassy, or a convoy of refugees.

(

Craymen, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:21, archived)

hurry man!

there's only half an hour till they stop serving them!

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:57, archived)

Chill

in central london, there is always a McD's and a starbucks within 10 meter of you.

Eating it now, but starting to feel like it was the wrong choice, as I realise Im supporting the US economy when I should be making my own embargoes.

arse

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:20, archived)

That means

going to Wimpey then.

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:35, archived)

the horror

......the horror

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:39, archived)

a depressing thought

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:42, archived)

Friend of mine worked at Wimpey

until she had to go out on the street dressed as Mr Wimpey, that burger thing.
That was a day and a half of employment she'll never see cash for.

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:47, archived)

that put my problems into perspective.

just made me think of a game I had on my C64 though. It was like hunchback, but you were Mr Wimpey, and had to jump around getting the ingredients for a burger.

God, I was easy to please as a kid.

(

Dr Nick Riviera, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:53, archived)

continue drinking, ignore problem

kid self that said americans are just having a jolly jape and it will all be alright, go home sick in 5 hours time.

(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:00, archived)

History is a matter of perspective...

(

vbloke OLDSKOOL, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:51, archived)

very clever

made me chuckle

(

curry monster, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:57, archived)

fantasic.

And nicely done.

(

pep, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:58, archived)

that is

great

(

Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:58, archived)

Bloody cheat!

I bought a card that this is a blatant rip off of!! Give credit where credit is due. Unless you're the bloke who made the card... :P

(Sarah The Nutter, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 21:11, archived)

Just checked

my bank balance. £2100 overdrawn, and I have a month to get rid of it before uni starts. Any ideas?

(Choaderboy, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:42, archived)

Get your heart stopped

(Dod, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:44, archived)

prostitution

at a pound a time, shouldn't take too long.

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:45, archived)

join me

down the docks tonight - you'll need red lipstick and a penguin costume

(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:48, archived)

I've tried that

it's not fun anymore

(Choaderboy, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:57, archived)

rob the oxfam store

(

munkt0n, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:50, archived)

Do you still have both your kidneys?

Are they still healthy?

(ComaToast, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:52, archived)

Student with £2100 overdraft?

I doubt the kidneys are even resemble real kidneys.

(

bigdave, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:59, archived)

Whoops.

Didn't think it through did I :)

(ComaToast, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:03, archived)

I don't use my overdraft for drink and drugs.

I use my rent money for that.

(Choaderboy, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:13, archived)

you and me both, lad

think i might just become an escort...

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:56, archived)

Can you use...

...a high velocity assault rifle and do you have any problems with a long weekend in Iraq?

(

Roland Rat, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:59, archived)

wool yay!

Ace saying! also glad to see Furtive wiping the floor with all other creatures.

GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING! IM IN A BLINDING MOOD COS YESTERDAY I FOUND OUT A BEAUTIFUL LADY FANCIES ME! WOOL YAY! :D

(

the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:25, archived)

if you mean this one...

leave off - she's mine.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:40, archived)

MY EYES!

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:41, archived)

Tenuous link

My Godfather's mother (my grandgodmother? who knows? but anyway..) kicked her out of the girl guides for making a mess in the bathroom and refusing to tidy it up (or so I've been told)

(

benjymous help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:03, archived)

Well I was actually there

when my boss kicked two guys from Raging Speedhorn out the pub I was working in.
Course I also went to school with them and one of the guys she kicked out was a right tosser so thats alright.

(ComaToast, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:06, archived)

my mate was given the eye by her

in sainsburys a bit back

(maximum_bygraves, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:04, archived)

did

he keep it?

(Jim Pooley, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:16, archived)

they were doing a promotion on them

fried sheeps ones, dishlicious by all accounts

(maximum_bygraves, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:23, archived)

you jammy dodger!

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:41, archived)

ooooh man

sorry.

(fricker, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:18, archived)

Excellent

I needed a laugh thanks

(fricker, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:16, archived)

is this glasscock?

(

vbloke OLDSKOOL, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:15, archived)

Are you trying to tell us something

about your reaction to this picture?

(Dod, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:26, archived)

surely it's to do with these...

Clicky

and all i had was a bloody action man.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:34, archived)

Imagine having them on the mantlepiece

very classy when you bring a lady home!

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:37, archived)

jenna is shear class

but i think even i would be intimidated by her experiance.

I saw her in a movie once, great storyline, no wait a minute, it didn't have a storyline, damn, i want my money back.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:00, archived)

Edit: ERASED

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:06, archived)

and pray tell

where did you find out this little nugget of info.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:15, archived)

what nugget of info?

I don't know what you mean. Neither do I know the site address. ;-)

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:29, archived)

who? what?

i don't even know the bloke officer, i've never seen it before in my life, know what i mean guvner.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:34, archived)

it's Jenna Jameson......APPARENTLY!

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:34, archived)

on another note DrDrink

Went to school with a girl who now does pron films.

she was the one who got caught making a film at the carpark of heathrow airport a few years ago.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:02, archived)

I never heard about that

And I get the local Heathrow paper!

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:05, archived)

was a few years ago

think it was the adult channels shagnasty and muttley (whoever they are?)

looked for news article but only found this. "The wonderful Georgette Neale (famous for her court case after being caught having sex at Heathrow airport for a film)"

*glances both ways quickly*

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:10, archived)

Is it just me or is

Thor rapidly becoming viewed as the board porn expert?
A dubious title if ever I heard one :)

(ComaToast, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:15, archived)

Hey!

i just remember that article 'cause i used to go to the same school as the girl.

damn stereotypes. must remember not to get caught up in these sort of conversations.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:18, archived)

exactly

which is why I shall now shut up. :)

(

Dr Drink, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:23, archived)

Good morning

Why am I in a good mood this morning???

([]DOo []DOo, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:10, archived)

Give us a clue.

(Nelly, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:15, archived)

Hmmmm

maybe I got a good night's for the first time in months, maybe it's the fact i'm off in holidays in 2 days time.

I dunno, maybe I'll start scowling again after I talk to the first customer that rings in.....

([]DOo []DOo, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:18, archived)

good nights sleep?

They're for pansies
very jealous, feel like crap

(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:20, archived)

Sleep

gives you cancer. Everybody knows that.

(inflateable, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:31, archived)

crikey

b3ta must be doing the worlds health some good then.
what about work - I'm sure that gives you cancer?

(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:37, archived)

Or was it that you did not have to sleep in the wet patch?

(Nelly, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 8:24, archived)

The Foamies used to live

under the foamy waves. I think they're extinct now.

(

blamb, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:15, archived)

aaaaaaaaaaagh!

*ahem*

(

whizzbang, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 6:55, archived)

The Australian version of B3ta never really caught on

Click it new window for Ausrtalian B3ta

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:10, archived)

That must have taken some time to do?

/edit
cant stop gigglin... hehehe..

(

HumanDescent Curry curry curry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:23, archived)

Wasted the best part of an hour on it

But it's work time so...

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:40, archived)

best time to do it then eh !

:o)

(

HumanDescent Curry curry curry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:44, archived)

wool yay?

bwahahaha

(

mikeisbrill, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:32, archived)

Well done!

Replace "Australia" with "New Zealand" and it might start to be accurate. :) We're very discerning about what we shag down here. In fact we try to keep it in the family as much as possible.

(Beatnik, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:44, archived)

Ah, incest

the game the whole family can play

/edit

Kiwis don't shag sheep, we don't want to go where an auzzie has already been.

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:48, archived)

(Indole Ring, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:10, archived)

/coat

Nothing personal, just can't fucking hummus!

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:21, archived)

Kerry

sounds like a girl's name, so there!

(Indole Ring, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:23, archived)

Everyone says that

Got a come-on from some scottish guy on the board a while ago... Remindes me of the line "Never fucked a homo but I've fucked a guy who has"

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:25, archived)

Bastard!

You've already used every New Zealand joke in existence, thus forestalling an appropriate reply.

Wool yay!

(Indole Ring, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:51, archived)

Hey come on!

I gave you an Australian Furtive! (Actually thought I better not use your name for the sheep ones as you may never talk to me again. After my missing girls/pope/hitler/osama/and kitten pictures you're the only one left who'll talk to me)

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:00, archived)

In that case

I hope you'll still talk to me after seeing the New New Zealand flag.

By the way, what happened to Old Zealand? Did you guys lose it, or something?

(Indole Ring, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:11, archived)

I always thought that the original Zealand was the island near Denmark...

oh ok ... I'll stay out of this one..

(

HumanDescent Curry curry curry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:16, archived)

Fuckin oats mate

I'll buy you a beer - now, in fact how about a Napier B3ta bash! Starts my place in 15 minutes!

Ok you got me on the flag, too late in day to hummus a side splitting pun about Indole RING-piece, as for New Zealand - it was all a misunderstanding - dutchman with thick accent said its "no-sheeeep-shagggers-land" and it was misheard. Similar to Australia (I'll straddle ya! - I bet you say that to ALL the sheep!)

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:18, archived)

The problem with Antipob3tans

is that we all live about a thousand miles apart, making it more difficult to organise a pub gathering.

(Indole Ring, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:22, archived)

But at least

down here we have more pubs per square km and don't drink our beer warm (cept when we've run out of cold stuff!) BTW - Warriors are looking good arn't they

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:24, archived)

Now mate

I'm prepared to put up with a lot of slagging Australia, but calling our beer warm is going a bit too far. It's not as if we were Poms or something, you know.

(Indole Ring, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:26, archived)

Actually I was lumping you in that equation

South hemisphere vs north, you know the drill, all together: "UP THE NORTH"

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:28, archived)

dont u start on poms !

;)

(

HumanDescent Curry curry curry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:30, archived)

I'm off to my B3ta bash, catch you in the spazz, Indole, there's a cold beer here with your name on it - don't be late or I'll drink it!

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:35, archived)

See you later

I'd take you up on the beer, but I don't know how long it stays good. It could be a few years befor I make it to NZ. :(

(Indole Ring, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:44, archived)

Even though

I was terribly hurt to be left out, I would still talk to you, except I am too busy being ignored ;)
Edit- here's a

for ya
how d'ya spell ostrisized

(

Occasional Lurker, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:17, archived)

ostracized?

that's sick that ostrice animal sex? you're as bad as the australian sheep shaggers!

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:20, archived)

Oh OSTRICH!

Sorry

(

K3rry, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:23, archived)

ostricheyesed

(

Occasional Lurker, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 5:29, archived)

Singing Babies...want pie

www.singingbabies.com/video.html

(brackish, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:30, archived)

That

is truly terrifing!
die evil baby die.

(

Andytomaz wazzing my way, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:33, archived)

a belated

adn very pissed message to shindig..l. happy ibrthadyt to you, jesus, i dont wantr a remach..... i may die im nly a fragile fragglecatchtcer

(Obi Wan Jonobi, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:02, archived)

I don't like cats

(Tom_Bombadil, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 2:35, archived)

you are obviously

a dog person

(

whizzbang, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:30, archived)

yes

I am aslo an American so one can easily rationalize my affection for things like dogs, beer and women.

(Tom_Bombadil, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:40, archived)

the egg master

u better do what he says

(bob_hoskins, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 2:21, archived)

his egg's what?

and what could an egg possibly possess that I would want to steal?

:P

/pedant

(

Craymen, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 9:02, archived)

as ive had to see it

i thourght you all should

probably nsfw

(Kieren, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:40, archived)

i hate you

so much.

(

EvS, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:50, archived)

she wants you

look at the way she has cast her eyes upon you

(Kieren, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:51, archived)

I don't understand

how she keeps from falling over.

(Tom_Bombadil, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:15, archived)

easy

the overall tittage mass equals that of lardy arse blubberage, which means she is perfectly balanced and thus she could stand on tip-toes if need be.

(

Andytomaz wazzing my way, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:22, archived)

oh sure

but how does she move mr. smartypants. How would a shift of such a large mass not unbalance the earth and send us spinning off into space?

(Tom_Bombadil, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 3:43, archived)

Ok class, let 's begin....

nsfw

The ladywhale is obviously twinned with a similar large mass, e.g Ayres rock, so the equal weight again ensures the world is counterbalanced on its axis. erm,...or something like that, I think...

(

Andytomaz wazzing my way, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 4:25, archived)

goodnight

youse

(sye, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:27, archived)

noight

I really must go now, too.

(

.spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:28, archived)

Trisha is the best TV now 24's finished.

Trisha: Have you ever been pregnant?
Guest: No
T: Have you ever thought you were pregnant?
G: Yes
T: What happened?
G: I wasn't pregnant

(

.spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:00, archived)

More Trisha

Guest: Yeah, Trisha I had Red hot pokers stuck in my eyes and my arse sucked out with an industrial vacuum cleaner. I just don't feel I can go on.

Trisha: Back when I was in college that happened to me. My boyfriend helped me to see beyond that, and I'm OK, You can get through this. OK? OK?

(

.spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:06, archived)

Guest: so you say

but personally there's no end in sight.
(a tiny joke - do you see 'end' 'sight')

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:09, archived)

Trisha: Right, everyone in the audience

who's been disembowelled by vacuum cleaner, stand up.

ssccchhhhloppppp

(

.spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:19, archived)

hehehehehe

what a mess. That's a nice image to take to bed.
Cheers.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:20, archived)

heheh

don't mention it.

(

.spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:27, archived)

Trisha:

have you been to Bali with Anneka Rice?
Vic: I have.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Tue 20 Aug 2002, 1:07, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »