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# Now mandatory.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:04, archived)
# One of my first shops (hence the seams)

Just north of Blackpool. It's the same thing only the average age of people is in the mid-80s.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:55, archived)
# Who IS
this fucking fuck? You Brits' latest Big Brother castmember?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 22:01, archived)
# Gunman on the run. Shot his ex, her boyfriend and a copper.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 22:07, archived)
[challenge entry] Shirley Bindun
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:04, archived)
# "Oh Miss Diana I gone an' off loaded my weapon all over yer fine dress an' all!"
Crossroads Moat Hell

seems you lot are too young for this (sigh)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:02, archived)
#
uncanny!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:47, archived)
[challenge entry] Bindun?

(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:01, archived)
# hehehe
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:06, archived)
# Pfffft!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:12, archived)
# Ha ha!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:13, archived)
# Haha:DD
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 23:04, archived)
# he certainly doesn't stick out.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:22, archived)
#
M04TLiT0
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:24, archived)
# He's scary

(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:58, archived)
# Ha-ha! Fuck!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:01, archived)
#
It's The Sun wot done it
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:08, archived)
# 'robo moat's kill palace'
GENULOL
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:09, archived)
[challenge entry] Chortle!
I wanted to know how he looked Tarsierfied:


Turns out, no better...
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:26, archived)
# at least those eyes fit his head better
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:26, archived)
[challenge entry] Beat me to it so no longer worth a thread of its own
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:06, archived)
# lalalalalalaaaalllalaaa
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:27, archived)
# Perhaps he's cooped up in a remote house
looking on b3ta, and noting down everyone's name who shops him? Youre next, m'lad!

*kpow*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:37, archived)
# do you think he could be :O
fears
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:52, archived)
# RAOOOOOUULLLL!!!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:56, archived)
# I know that guy.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:09, archived)
# The copse!
dodgingthecopse
(dodging)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:03, archived)
[challenge entry] Please wait while your tarsier shoppery is received and processed.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:18, archived)
# for some reason, this makes me feel slightly queasy
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:19, archived)
# Hahaha
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:19, archived)
# That's excellent
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:28, archived)
# That's fine that's fine that's fine that's fine I really love your buffer eyes
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:20, archived)
# I like this
and have registered my likery by clicking the "click" button
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:05, archived)
[challenge entry] All out of coffee


That's the image of Moat age 3, no real reason other than having read some news about it. Not living in the empire, I'd heard nothing of him before logging in here.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:16, archived)
# hahaha
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:19, archived)
# Ah yes.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:42, archived)
# Wipe that face off your face!
(psst. compo it)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:44, archived)
#
Nice super happy happy candle day to you, sirrah!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:49, archived)
# Tack så mycket, macroscian..
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:00, archived)
[challenge entry] Ttssattarsier
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:12, archived)
# I hope that dog is okay.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:13, archived)
# COMPO IT YOU CUNT.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:14, archived)
# OKAY.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:16, archived)
# i like his
paws/boots
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:14, archived)
# has he jusy been running fast
and screeched to a halt in his stylish pawlike boots?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:16, archived)
# Tthhatt!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:14, archived)
# Needs personalised handwriting.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 22:04, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:08, archived)
# i've said it before and i'll say it again
on him, it doesn't look weird
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:09, archived)
# Very
sexual
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:14, archived)
# Jessica Fletcher has let herself go a bit...
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:08, archived)
# Hahahaha
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:09, archived)
# and apparently turned into terry scott
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:10, archived)
# officer assistant
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:55, archived)
# hehehe.
Sorry TJ: I had to share this with you guys. I am advertising for a job, one which specifies that the person should have a good grasp of English.
This is genuinely one of the job applications I received; this is the cover letter and the CV:

'aim hard wkr person.'
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:58, archived)
# do not employ this person
they would probably say lol in real life
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:00, archived)
# I did state in the advert
that I didn't want a) people replying with the likes of 'want job' or (and I do get these) people applying for a job where they have to have good English, they get interviewed, then get the job and don't understand why I'm kicking them out of the building when they turn up on their first day, friend on tow who doesn't speak a word of English and present me with them for the job!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:04, archived)
# seriously?
they think that, because you've given them the job, you'll be happy to employ someone else who DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH?
fucking idiots.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:07, archived)
# Yeah.
They actually think I'll give a stranger a job as I interviewed someone they know.
It's happened a couple of times and they seem to think that they can talk to me on the phone when I need to tell them something.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:10, archived)
# that explains why they are jobless
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:11, archived)
# and led round by a friend:P
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:16, archived)
# heheheh
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:17, archived)
# with a bell
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:21, archived)
# You should try simple spoken interactions with the staff in the local DIY shop round this way.
That's a bloody challenge. Nearly 15 minutes to explain 'bathroom tiles', I nearly gave up.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:15, archived)
# you've never shopped in lidl, have you?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:16, archived)
# Only once.
I'm still in therapy for that.

*shudders with the recollection*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:18, archived)
# i only shop there
because it's within walking distance, the lentils are cheaper than at the fruit shop and i can get 2 loaves of kingsmill seeds and oats for £2 instead of £3.38
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:20, archived)
# I must admit, they do stock a decent brand of apple sauce.
However, Aldi, which is closer, also do it, hence little need for repeat visits.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:22, archived)
# aldi used to do a great chocolate ice cream
square black tub, one litre, chocolate chips were massive! don't know if they still sell it
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:26, archived)
# mmmmmm.....
The Belgian Chocolate Ice Cream with big lumps of chocolate brownie in it that Messrs Waite & Rose used to purvey was beyond lovely, also.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:33, archived)
# had some mint choc chip today
suffering from trapped wind, so i decided to use it as a kill or cure treatment.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:41, archived)
# or rather
nearly gave up got the decorators to do it for me.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:17, archived)
# Should have asked for płytki łazienkowe
edit: pytki azienkowe, oh dear html fail
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:18, archived)
# Hang on a minute -
That's Grout, that is!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:20, archived)
# Now now, don't get excited
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:22, archived)
# \o/
Excellent!!!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:24, archived)
# this is what i was thinking
as soon as grout was mentioned
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:27, archived)
# I make a point, I think others should too.
If a shop employs someone who can't speak enough of the native language to make rudementary verbal exchange, you should just vote with your feet and walk out.

THe same if they won't open enough checkouts at a supermarket, basket on the floor, leave.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:19, archived)
# Yep. I like that approach.
and have employed it for different reasons at M&S in Camden.

;-)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:24, archived)
# Oh,I see your basket and I raise you a completely full trolley
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:25, archived)
# i see your trolley
and raise you a large wheely-flatbed-type thing with several pieces of self-assembly furniture on it.
ikea can be useless fuckers sometimes
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:29, archived)
# Depending on the nature of the advert I suspect the 'aim hard wkr person' may be a piss take
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:16, archived)
# I say lol in real life!!!
But only in irony.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:05, archived)
# I have a friend that says lol in real life.
It's a huge stretch of my friendship that I still talk to them.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:06, archived)
# i've said lol in real life
because i knew a bloke called laurence who liked to be called lol
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:08, archived)
# Was he in The Cure?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:11, archived)
# no
he was a big fat pie-faced fucker
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:11, archived)
#
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:08, archived)
# Me fail English?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:01, archived)
# maybe their leg had just grow
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:02, archived)
# Pffft!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:07, archived)
# employ DIS hard wrkN prsn str8 awA :)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:02, archived)
# ^ what kss said
you can pay them peanuts and keep them in the cellar

they will not be missed
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:04, archived)
# HOw did you know my postcode?!:O
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:05, archived)
# lolerzzzzzz111!!!!11!eeleven
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:06, archived)
# Ahh, another great product of the 'text generation'
god save us all.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:11, archived)
# if i was on a killing spree
i wouldn't want any help. takes all the fun out of it if you need to ask for help.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:59, archived)
# Yeah but why going on a killing spree
when you could go on a picnic instead?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:01, archived)
# who says you can't do both?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:03, archived)
# the ants
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:05, archived)
# kill the ants
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:08, archived)
# Make it a betteeeeeeer plaaaace
For you and for me and the entire dancing plaice.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:10, archived)
# fish should dance more
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:13, archived)
# *goes to happy plaice*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:17, archived)
# that is a very happy plaice
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:18, archived)
# Yeah
The guy behind is hung like a mule:D
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:20, archived)
# pffff
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:22, archived)
# bastard things ;)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:05, archived)
# camel
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:06, archived)
# he won't help, he lies
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:28, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:51, archived)
# i just know it wants to eat me
*fears deadly detention*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:53, archived)
# Small = cute.
Man-size = intimidating.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:56, archived)
# Four Stars !
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:57, archived)
# Those schoolgirl days of telling tales and biting nails are gone
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:22, archived)
# I really hope they don't catch him in the next couple of days

it would screw up the news letter
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:43, archived)
# he really is a fat headed tit
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:46, archived)
# this is all just roid rage
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:47, archived)
# yea I'd say so...I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!!!

/runs away!!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:49, archived)
# *stifles smirk*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:46, archived)
# you appear to be aflame
let me help you with that.
*unzips*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:48, archived)
# *pretends to resist*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:50, archived)
# :)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:51, archived)
# fucking hell, a year already?
where does the time go?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:35, archived)
# In to an old tin at the back of my shed..
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:46, archived)
# HEED! DOON! NOO!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:47, archived)
# HOWAY THE LADS MON!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:56, archived)
[challenge entry] compo wouldn't be the same without it
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:41, archived)
# argh THE HANDS
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:42, archived)
# Eyes would say you're right !
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:42, archived)
# Nosferatu!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:44, archived)
# :D
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:44, archived)
# She shaved her chest.
Good...good.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:44, archived)
# looks like gollum's mum
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:46, archived)
# HAHAHAH
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:47, archived)
# Nah, Gollum's mum was a hobbit like creature.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:52, archived)
# yes, one of the river folk
doesn't mean she wasn't an ugly cunt, though
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:54, archived)
# Those eyes...
they seem to follow you around the jungle
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:53, archived)
# clamp!..clamp!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:40, archived)
# Yay for Robots
:D
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:40, archived)
# Dude, these are win.

(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:41, archived)
# Hi cockalorum indeed! :)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:43, archived)
# Clamp On . . . Clamp Stay On !
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:41, archived)
# he looks happy
but i bet he'd still kick bender's arse in a scrap(heap)
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:42, archived)
# Destroy the city!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:44, archived)
# Yay...
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 21:11, archived)
[challenge entry] Never look beneath the tablecloth..
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:33, archived)
# hehehe
why didnt the people in that film just twat him (or the girl with the long hair in the ring)?

They dont look very handy in a fight. Bird comes outcha telly - BOSH - job done.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:36, archived)
# The Far Eastern lank-haired jerky ghost was terrifying, at first.
Successive returns to the same theme have lessened the impact, unfortunately.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:40, archived)
# aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh!!
good god that film gave me the willies D:
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:37, archived)
# I was born with a willy
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:44, archived)
# O_O
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:37, archived)
# Freaky under there . . . + Hotty Candle Day Captain Howdy !
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:41, archived)
# *high fives*
*misses*
*carries on like nothing happened*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:43, archived)
# :D
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:36, archived)
# It's yourself!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:43, archived)
[challenge entry] *BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:28, archived)
#
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:29, archived)
# I WANT YOU IN MY ROOM

(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:32, archived)
# Mungle!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:34, archived)
# ROCK THAT BOOM !
BOOM THAT ROCK !
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:38, archived)
# :D
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:40, archived)
# Are you telling me that 200 of our men against your boy is a no-win situation for us?
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:24, archived)
# why is this man not this weeks comp
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:27, archived)
# 2-1 on him being this week's subject line for the newsletter.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:28, archived)
# which is better odds than the police chasing him have on surviving
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:41, archived)
# Seamless!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:27, archived)
#
Doh! name fail.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:27, archived)
# Just post it again with the name corrected
People will love it
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:40, archived)
# I deleted the sorce files.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 20:04, archived)
#
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:07, archived)
# pffft!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:10, archived)
# Waiting for a train that never comes
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:13, archived)
# ha-lols!
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:23, archived)

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