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# Matt Berry needs to be hired to play Han Solo in the new Star Wars films, this is a fact
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 20:24, archived)
# that's fucking brilliant
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 20:27, archived)
# I caught 5 minutes of straw wras on tv, Harrison Ford's acting is remarkably similar to Matt Berry's
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 20:32, archived)
# this sketch is contrived
but his Ford and Pitt impressions are spot on

youtu.be/pKI5tZQeovw
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 20:42, archived)
# some great ones, Spacey and Malkovich especially
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 20:55, archived)
# haha brilliant Toastie
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 20:57, archived)
# Lol star treks

(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 21:51, archived)
# fucking brilliant
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 22:27, archived)
# One of the only FPs i ever got
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 23:27, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 22:59, archived)
# I love this.
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 1:00, archived)
# Bwarfw
tickles
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 9:20, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 21:56, archived)
# Ha!
Great.
:D
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 0:59, archived)
[challenge entry] WARUM KANN ICH NIE SIGNAL HIMMLER!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 19:27, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 19:54, archived)
[challenge entry] Let's see how she likes having her phone hacked
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:06, archived)
# irl SHOCKING
WHOAH!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:07, archived)
# Not as shocked as Andy Coulson was ;)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:11, archived)
# nicely :)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:11, archived)
# Yay - that is excellent :D :D
was there a challenge, or is just a collection of images?
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:25, archived)
# the lovely peeps of b3ta put the pics forward for inclusion :-)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:30, archived)
# the worst part is, it'd stink of rancid banana
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:15, archived)
# oh no - I've just eaten a banana as well :(
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:18, archived)
# i've just eaten cheese
stomach will go off in about 20 minutes :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:23, archived)
# Open wide!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:32, archived)
# Brilliant :D
not a job I fancy too much, but if push comes to shove...
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:48, archived)
# Thank you :D
I created it because I found there are almost no results in Google for "clunge dentist", despite that being an excellent term for gynaecologists. Then I was just waiting for an excuse to post it.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:57, archived)
# fuck dat
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:39, archived)
# Fucking Hell did I need to see that
Well yes
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 22:51, archived)
# :)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 23:00, archived)
# Angler Merkel
First 'shop - be kind.



(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:45, archived)
# Impressive lurkage!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:47, archived)
# ...just a bit shy :P
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:50, archived)
# its taken 8 years to get this good at photoshop
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:47, archived)
# Nooo! You've ruined it now!
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 11:10, archived)
# how are you different to a girl hoover?
explain your nozzles and attachments, especially that little thing for doing the curtains
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:49, archived)
# be kind
rewind
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:50, archived)
# "Ok fish you're just going for a nice shower...."
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:53, archived)
# He said be kind
Not zyklon b kind.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:59, archived)
# you're reich - sorry right
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:03, archived)
# You suck! (usernameLOLz)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:57, archived)
# coincidently,
that was also the nickname of my old physics master, I'll not bore you with the reasons why...
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:21, archived)
# yes
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1199833811/carp.jpg"
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:35, archived)
# :)
photo shop
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 23:02, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:23, archived)
# why does that dress have cloth port holes on it?
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:26, archived)
# So the sailors can see out
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 18:59, archived)
# well there's a thing
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:28, archived)
# fucking HAWT!!!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:30, archived)
# needs moar nipples, tho
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:30, archived)
# what's in the belly, another mutation perchance?
wii can dream
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:31, archived)
# next-gen will be marsupial
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:32, archived)
# THIS ISN'T EVEN MA PHINAL PHORM
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:35, archived)
# shut up and get in my pouch
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:36, archived)
# oh my!! :D :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:39, archived)
# *BOING*
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:43, archived)
# *muffled screams*
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:45, archived)
# the safe word is "squeasel"
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:50, archived)
# That's not a pouch, IT'S A GRENADE!
INCOMIIIIING!!!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:40, archived)
# DUCK AND COVER!
the new saturday morning chat show duo
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:43, archived)
# THE BOO BOX!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:52, archived)
# best. pirate. ever.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:53, archived)
# It's true
Horizontal stripes do make you look fatter.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:45, archived)
# nu-uhhhh
they make YOU look fatter
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:46, archived)
# nasty
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:56, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:40, archived)
# I BET SHE LAST 'HAD IT' AT THE TEA TENT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, EH? EH???
Also, welcome. Splendid lurking!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:55, archived)
# PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:03, archived)
# ALSO:
my name is jacob dyer and i live in bristol. it is fantastic. i sound like barnaby bear. i like barnaby bear. one time he went to france. i went to france. but some kid burnt my neck. i didnt like it.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:05, archived)
# I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THE ONLY JACOB DYER HERE
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:13, archived)
# I'm not a Jacob Dyer, I'm a Jacob Dyer's son, and I'm only Dying Jacobs till the Jacob Dyers burns his neck in france
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:19, archived)
# ahah. ahahahahah.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:20, archived)
# Hahaha!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 19:21, archived)
# OBV
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:07, archived)
# I changed it
!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:08, archived)
# OBV!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:08, archived)
# He not only knows that she last had it at the tea tent
He also knows that she phoned home, told her hubby she'd be home at 3:30, and knows the current whereabouts of the rats that pinched it!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:11, archived)
# did she, the dirty old tart
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:11, archived)
# rodents in uniforms? what the fuck have you been smoking?
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:12, archived)
# she is a bulgarian agent and that brolly is poison tipped
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:21, archived)
# It's covered in radioactive plodonium
That's why it's glowing green
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:36, archived)
# Christmas is cumming


too big to put on one post so.....
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:44, archived)
# ....... part 2 :-)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:44, archived)
# Ace!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:18, archived)
# Bad Ass Super CDCing
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:19, archived)
# woo:)
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 1:12, archived)
# ---pink dicks have never been used better----
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 6:14, archived)
# haha
it's a competition between all the stores to make the shittest advert they can.
They need to learn from the masters of old...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDiCaw8CMeU
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:47, archived)
# excellent - I want those product and am off to - er - oh ...
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:56, archived)
# look at the size of that Quality Street tin!
Things really were bigger back then
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:05, archived)
# I want a Mouilinex Mini
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:06, archived)
# gloriosky!
*clicks*
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:50, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:06, archived)
# *looks at keyboard*
ahhh, ok
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:46, archived)
# lovely series!
WOO!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:18, archived)
# ta :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:36, archived)
# Christmas shopping will never be the same again
well done Sir :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:35, archived)
# For RIS read Gizz
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:37, archived)
# Ha Ha!!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:40, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:31, archived)
# YaY:D
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 1:11, archived)
# Yep, as soon as I saw that advert I knew it would end up on here as a CDC
nice one :D
(, Sun 10 Nov 2013, 10:46, archived)
# IN-JOKES ARE NEVER FRONT-PAGED
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:33, archived)
# neither are newsletters any more it seems
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:35, archived)
# ^this
clearly, they believe that no news is good news
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:36, archived)
# *avoids posting wtf.gif*
canaries and coalmines?
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:37, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:01, archived)
# They had the gall to send it to our inboxes!
IT WAS ALL PURPLE LINKS.
It was all purple links.

/sobs
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:42, archived)
# Oh, is it not for the likes of us website readers?
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:54, archived)
# On the bright side, 1 out of 606.
Rob has to do everything himself.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:58, archived)
# Maybe there is some breaking news.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:19, archived)
# cry us a river
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:08, archived)
# *weeps beautiful salted tears*
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:34, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 23:51, archived)
# pffffffffffffffffffffffffffft
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:41, archived)
# :O
kudos for the hard work
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:58, archived)
[challenge entry] Mmm... portrait
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 14:23, archived)
# =)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:03, archived)
# arf!
but the truth hurts, man
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:16, archived)
# :D Just don't drop your iPad
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:28, archived)
# Don't be down y'all
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 12:59, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 13:11, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 13:24, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 16:38, archived)
# Glad I'm not the only one who thought of this
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:09, archived)
# slay bells ring, are you listening
on the snow, blood is glistening,
a beautiful sight
we're eating tonight
stalking in a winter wonderland
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:29, archived)
# BLOOD ORGY!!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:32, archived)
# that's a whole different kind of christmas
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:35, archived)
# haha - excellent :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:33, archived)
# i excel at shit poetry :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:36, archived)
[challenge entry] Von Daniken missed some important clues
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:55, archived)
# 3 per....
That's a sign of an advanced intellect
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:59, archived)
# :D
the cdc is actually there - I just added a couple to it !!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 12:01, archived)
# hahaha
The Az-techs were way ahead of their time
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:53, archived)
# "You wasn't there, man. You wasn't there! Honey everywhere!"
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:47, archived)
# Nicely done :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:56, archived)
# :D
That reminded me of something that popped into my head yesterday...
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 12:00, archived)
# nobody???

(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:33, archived)
# Needs more Ronnie Barker.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:55, archived)
# :)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 13:19, archived)
# sorry if this isn;t original
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 10:51, archived)
# Seams original to me.
But also, Ris.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:15, archived)
# wolfe in pepys clothing
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:20, archived)
# Fucking hell
:D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:31, archived)
# Haha
Oh dear :)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:38, archived)
# Had thee visits to sleep clinic.
Been monitored whilst sleeping etc. and they have just prescribed one of these
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 10:31, archived)
# Were DVDs of you "sleeping" later available from the store?
It may not have been a sleep clinic.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 10:58, archived)
# oh come on now!... just because it was in the basement of a pawnshop means nothing
they're just helping to keep healthcare costs down
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:10, archived)
# Yes
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:54, archived)
# cool!
So you can whistle in your sleep instead of snoring
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 12:02, archived)
# Yes
I whistle the Moonlight Sonata .
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 12:18, archived)
# with the 2 holes, you might even be able to play chords
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 12:21, archived)
# does it emit an amusing parp noise if you do snore?
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 11:26, archived)
#


fan art of this game which you should play if you like oldschool western rpgs
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 5:59, archived)
# GFAM
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 6:20, archived)
# WTFAYBOA?
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 10:57, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:40, archived)
# i like the last ones camping stove, also reminded me i need a gas bottle, chrs
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 6:47, archived)
# they are well good at standing
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 17:10, archived)
# Haven't posted in years, been too busy having children etc!


So, in order to mark my return I present to you a small doodle that I produced. And hopefully this will be the beginning of many more posts.
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 23:26, archived)
# A quiet time to post these days.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:23, archived)
# First chance I've had all day.
Besides, it'll still be on the board come morning, as long as people scroll down :)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:25, archived)
# well i've seen it.
and i feel all the better for it
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 2:06, archived)
# Welcome back
B3tans shall never leave apart from Kids and minor shite like that
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:36, archived)
# Nice, and welcome back.
Needs to be bigger, though. But not so much bigger that people complain it should be smaller.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:40, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:02, archived)
# The perfect size for that image.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:07, archived)
#
:)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:44, archived)
# :D I want one
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:13, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:44, archived)
# :( it's so tiny
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:55, archived)
# that's what she said
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 2:03, archived)
# the perfect size for that image.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 2:07, archived)
#
:)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 2:11, archived)
#
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 12:37, archived)
# i just realized what he's saying here -- what's a filter
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:30, archived)
# "was low far"
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:45, archived)
# wtf
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 1:33, archived)
# I want to report image abuse.
Modz?…Anyone?….
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:31, archived)
# I thought that's what we were here for.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:32, archived)
# They crossed 'the line' though.
This is serious shit.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:34, archived)
#
line streams
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:38, archived)
# Fuck! It's worse than I thought.*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*dont really give a toss
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:40, archived)
# 'dramatic paws'
I've been trying to give a toss for years.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:42, archived)
# I'm working on a special project.
It could destroy b3ta as we know it.
ideabase: discomeats*
artbase: atomic
.
.
.
*that means i stole the idea from discomeats
Your days are numbered, b3ta!!!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:54, archived)
# Didn't someone say,
talent borrows,
genius steals.

Thyme to get the last beer, g'night.
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 4:00, archived)
# o/'
mumzdaword
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 4:05, archived)
# This is too big!
It should be smaller!

etc..

or something
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:49, archived)
# Hmmm...
"having children"... We know that really you were having intense personal therapy, have recently been released back into the community and are slowly slipping back into your pre-therapy habits...... (or maybe thats me?)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 9:13, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 23:09, archived)
# hahaha - brilliant :D
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 23:13, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 23:53, archived)
# \o/
that takes me back a bit ;)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:02, archived)
# Woah!
Great stuff.
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 23:18, archived)
# WOO!
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 23:19, archived)
# Newsletter's late...
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 23:25, archived)
#






(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:12, archived)
# {:->
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:22, archived)
# ... and Lieutenant Worf made a face.
Woo!
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:45, archived)
# Play it nice and cool, Worf
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 15:04, archived)
# :D
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 3:33, archived)
# Brilliant!


(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 8:32, archived)
# Ah1
That cheered me up! :)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 10:59, archived)
[challenge entry] Proof of the New World Order?
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:01, archived)
# What? Apple toblerone?
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:09, archived)
# Now that would just be weird
whereas the recipe for Toblerone Cheesecake looks very tempting!
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:14, archived)
# We live in a world where chocolate coated crisps are a thing.
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:15, archived)
# end times
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:50, archived)
# now I see why
Illuminati rhymes with goatse
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:10, archived)
# Fonda Jane, me.
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:14, archived)
# Part of the initiation ceremony
probably
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:16, archived)
#

(right on sister)
(, Sat 9 Nov 2013, 0:02, archived)
[challenge entry] Those Greeks had such sophisticated humour...
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 21:40, archived)
# "If no-one will relieve me of this pack
I'll let a fart and blow it off my back."
(, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 21:44, archived)

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