Three and a half months into a global pandemic, tens of thousands of people have died in the UK. The numbers are almost meaningless, so I tried to put them in perspective.
UK coronavirus deaths put in perspective
A running total of deaths in the UK, directly attributable to coronavirus.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 12:06, Reply)
...obvious joke.
amirite?
Cheers Jimmer
*substitute Stamford Bridge/Merthyr Tydfil/Franklin's Gardens as appropriate.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 12:13, Reply)
We have fucked our economy for geriatrics who make no contribution to the economy.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 13:39, Reply)
I'm somewhat less sympathetic to those who could have taken steps to shield themselves without necessitating the shutdown of practically the entire economy, i.e. those not of working age. Their pensions are guaranteed, jobs are not.
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 7:20, Reply)
There'll be plenty of statue guardian jobs available
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 8:34, Reply)
It's not like people over 70 are still people or anything.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 15:03, Reply)
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 17:00, Reply)
but I don't think it's appropriate to beg for coffee if you liked it. Just seemed really jarring.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 14:08, Reply)
I just reused the same footer from when I did the Should you go out? questionnaire.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 15:02, Reply)
Yeah I don't want to be a downer, just that bit stuck out at me.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 16:37, Reply)
Couldn't we just have got rid of Merthyr instead of having the virus?
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 14:45, Reply)
so what’s the crossover point for civilian casualties during the Blitz?
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 9:46, Reply)
Watching the figures unfolding leads me to think about how the CV19 situation will develop over the coming weeks, months and years. I'd be interested to know if anyone else agrees with me:
First off - I'm not sure that a vaccine will emerge. The common cold is a form of Coronavirus and we all know how successful we've been at developing a vaccine for that.... I'm therefore thinking that CV19 will become a treatable disease that the world population begins to live with and stops fearing quite as much.
I think that the death rate in most countries is falling, not just because of the distancing measures but in a large part due to the fact that the medical profession is learning how to treat the disease succesfully and outcomes are improving massively on what they would have been for patients taken into hospital at the beginning of the pandemic.
Actual infection rates worldwide seem to be settling at about 1 in 1000 (I think in the UK the ONS believe it to be at about 6 in 10,000 in the UK) so it's not a disease that is running rampant in the general population and therefore the actual chance of contracting and subsequently dying from the disease is becoming vanishingly small for most of us. The Government and the press have done pretty good job of spreading panic and fear which is probably deliberate and a good thing and has helped avoid complacency.
The world can't stay indoors until nobody dies anymore and we can't afford a second lockdown. Hanging on to the hope of a vaccine seems rather vain to me. I think we need to start being positive and get out there.
Discuss.....
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 13:13, Reply)
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81wP6Hq1sPL._AC_SL1500_.jpg
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 13:36, Reply)
"The common cold is a form of Coronavirus and we all know how successful we've been at developing a vaccine for that"
Developing a vaccine for the common cold has never been a comparable priority. And the reason no vax has been developed for the old school Sars is that the world lost interest once it disappeared, which also made clinical trials impossible to run.
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 13:54, Reply)
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 15:16, Reply)
Colds kill geriatrics and others with comprised immune systems (we used to call them the infirm) every single day.
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 19:06, Reply)
The common cold is mostly caused by rhinoviruses, which are very different. Not just a different family, but a different order.
The reason we don't have a vaccine for the common cold is not because it's impossible to make one. We could.
The problem is, there are too many types of rhinovirus.
Even if we developed vaccines for the most common hundred, it would continue to mutate.
Covid is not rampant because we're locked down.
The chance of catching it and dying is substantial.
The UK has one of the highest death-rates per capita - over 600 per million. Compare to e.g. the USA, about 340.
(, Mon 22 Jun 2020, 9:09, Reply)
"Scientists built a computer model of a simple brain network based on that of a sea slug, taught it how to get food, gave it an appetite and the ability to experience reward, added a dash of something called homeostatic plasticity and then exposed it to a very intoxicating drug. To no one’s surprise, the creature became addicted."
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 11:19, Reply)
Hipster minimalism is all the rage, so I've created a clothing/homeware range that costs more and gives you less
OVERPRICED BASIC TITLE

OVERPRICED BASIC DESCRIPTION
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 11:07, Reply)
Live your life in your own private cocoon of huff, muff, and puff.
Paul Garner and Paul Kaye 2007.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 8:57, Reply)
And reminded me of this, from years ago.
youtu.be/NmpAx8Z5z40
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 23:17, Reply)
Police fine man €500 for 'massive intestinal wind'

Austrian police officers found he violated public decency when he broke wind in their presence.
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 21:31, Reply)
Better in than out, as Fritzl used to say to his kids
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 22:44, Reply)
I expect tomorrow's headline to be "fart man quietly released"
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 1:40, Reply)
NirvanA.I: I made a bot write a Nirvana song

Using lyrics.rip to scrape the Genius Lyrics Database, I made a Markov Chain write Nirvana lyrics. This is the end result- "Smother". All music/vocals perfor...
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 20:59, Reply)
Nah
I learned to shoot his gun,
Truth covered in security,
Man, you're son of a bitch,
In all the wrong places.
The asperities of the world are near,
Real feelings, touch us in a way,
My friend must not have been far,
She's afraid,
She's scared
Smother, Smother, Smother,
Smother, Smother, Smother,
Smother, Smother, Smother,
Smother, Smother, Smother,
Smother, Smother, Smother,
Smother, Smother, Smother,
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 7:45, Reply)
I learned to shoot his gun,
Truth covered in security,
Tried to speak to his true feelings.
Do you know the thing?
The plain majority will wish
That we lay down the mantle of tyranny
And usher in a glorious age of liberty.
(Intermission)
You will pass through the last gate.
At the end of a long year of administration,
We will be the best, we will shine in history.
You will witness the talents of a great nation --
The hearts and minds of all the citizens.
There is much we have to do to build those hearts and minds.
To do that, we must strive to be ourselves.
Once again, our flag will flutter high in the sky.
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 7:51, Reply)
I learned to shoot his gun,
Truth covered in security,
All he did was shoot me,
He saved my life,
He saved my life,
He saved my life
Oh baby don't make a song
Just throw me a bone,
Here comes Mr. It's grunge baby,
This is grunge, you're rock and roll,
Liver kickin, red meat, and worse,
Coughed up the sheet metal,
Coughed up the sheet metal,
Coughed up the sheet metal,
I want my front seat,
Mommy's first,
I want my
(, Wed 17 Jun 2020, 7:53, Reply)
The two Rons were my favourite.
Ron: We don't like smarties do we, Ron?
Ron: No, we don't, Ron. Except for the red ones because you can rub 'em on your lips and it looks like lipstick.
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 20:27, Reply)
Straight EU ones or not, bananas like the climate of the very, very tropical equator
So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 13:56, Reply)
Sweary banjo silliness
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRM5knY5Frk
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 17:20, Reply)
I've been on Reddit too long. This is the kind of quality content I have been missing.
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 10:11, Reply)
The hottest game of 1998
Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge by Aaron Demeter

Now With Scoring Pencil!!
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 22:06, Reply)
Is the GC machine broken?
I knew I should have checked manually...
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 0:04, Reply)
*simultaneously tweets a suggestion to put it in a new national museum of hubris*
(, Tue 16 Jun 2020, 12:02, Reply)
the tuna, bananas, mini rolls, kippers and muffin are all offerings to the statue of Boris inside.
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 18:15, Reply)
It's all cupboard food except the EU regulated straight bananas.
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 19:00, Reply)
Your mini roll stays in your Arctic pants.
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 20:47, Reply)
Seriously, try it. Mini Rolls straight from the freezer. Fuck. Yeah.
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 22:19, Reply)
We know that tuna lives in the sea. I mean, they would suffocate in a cupboard anyway.
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 19:52, Reply)
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 18:23, Reply)
A chilled-out, sample-stuffed, disinfectant-swilling groove – one of the tracks I made for "The Dark Outside Inside 3" (online Saturday just gone). The looped backing sample is nicked from "In The Garden of Eden (Thinking Inside You)", by Courtney Pine (I love a pun, me 😁). I also photoshopped the coverart from a couple of separate Simpsons frames and a 'cartoonised' bottle of Pine. www.soundcloud.com/jimjar/hit-the-pine
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 13:06, Reply)
Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge by Aaron Demeter

Now With Scoring Pencil!!
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 12:03, Reply)
Simon Donald (out of Viz Comic) in an out-take from the audiobook of his autiobiography.
*or should it be 'contagious'?
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 10:23, Reply)
Well that was a bit awkward. He really isn't a very good interviewer is he?
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 9:59, Reply)
...the more you see the confusion of Rik and Ade's face as more nervous sarcasm gets shot at them.
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 19:31, Reply)
A giant, mysterious daubing has appeared in the field behind my house. But what does it mean?
(, Sun 14 Jun 2020, 20:33, Reply)
I'm glad I could clear this up for you.
(, Mon 15 Jun 2020, 1:40, Reply)
3ppb yes, but what about the globules of spunk?
(, Thu 18 Jun 2020, 9:04, Reply)
Exceptional standards of photography though.
edit: it is real isn't it? i.e. not a Trailer Park Boys outtake.
(, Sun 14 Jun 2020, 18:42, Reply)
So it’s a real commercial with their sense of humour, they used to do quite a few for their local businesses.
(, Sun 14 Jun 2020, 20:30, Reply)
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