Google Wave
Seems all I ever hear about on the Internet at the moment is people itching to get invites to this thing.

Because exactly what the Internet needs is yet another chaotic Web 2.0 social networking and collaboration wiki type thingy, and another attempt by Google to take over the world.
(Cloudane, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 20:08, Reply)

Why men actually like lesbian porn
After being asked numerous times by friends, "Why do you like lesbian porn?" and them not being satisfied with my answer, "because it's hot." I came up with this...

A genetic explanation of why men like lesbian porn. (Yes, I was bored)

Darwin proposed natural selection, the idea that genes that improve an organisms chance of survival are more likely to be passed on to offspring. They become more common and are what drive evolution and change over generations.

Now let's look at men. Their genetic predisposition tells them to have as many children as possible (surviving to reproduce). Women can only have one child at a time and will want to have the father to herself so that his resources aren't spread between children that are not genetically related to the female. They will not find the idea of two men together attractive, as if they were there only 1 offspring could be produced. If men were to get in on a lesbian act, there are 2 children at stake.

These are of course generalisations and subject to social factors but the fact remains the same. Men are predetermined to find lesbian porn attractive.

Also the only cock I ever want to see is my own.

Over thought I know, but I didn't force you to read it.
(Ginger_Whinger got in the newsletter!! =D, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 20:08, 16 replies)

kelly osbourne....
i just love her....why????
(norfolkngood, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 20:05, 5 replies)

Long fucking showers.
What the shitting layabout christ is he doing in there?!
(MissUnexpectedNuttering Mad to live, Mad to talk, and burn, burn, burn...., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 19:46, 13 replies)

shoes and bags
i know us girls are supposed to love these things but i cannot imagine anything more boring than the process of shopping for bags (even that in itself is dull. ooh a brown one. ooh that one's pink. errr...yay?) then going home and checking they match your outfits and then having to take every little thing out of your bag to put in the new one several times a week because they don't match what you're wearing that day.

shoes - most women's shoes are designed to cause maximum pain in the feet, heels, ankles, thighs and often result in extremely tiny fairy steps because everything else is just too painful. if i ever wear heels its always a disaster - i need an entire reel of plasters or i'll bleed all over the place and freak people out.

consequently, i own a pair of DC skate shoes and one bag. that's it apart from all-purpose black "smart" shoes which i almost never wear. i can run with my shoes on for the train, and my bag is simple, goes with everything and doesn't sit gathering sweat under my armpit........................ and no i'm not a lesbian thank you :) xXx

EDIT: oh and also ketchup. i just don't understand
(anonymous blonde, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 18:52, 8 replies)

Corporate speak/Local bands/Big tattoos on women/Russell Brand/ Toe Rings
I can't understand why it is that:

- the higher up the corporate food chain you are, the more you must converse in 'businessspeak'. Take a reality check, learn plain English, and appreciate that no matter how nicely you try to dress up a boiled turd, its still a boiled turd.

- international acts in small venues have their sound set to a level that you can appreciate their musical abilities, but local bands have the levels set to 'ear-bleed'. Are you yourselves deaf, or are you just trying to cover up your lack of talent?

- women get big tats in the very worst places. As a 17 year old rebel, tats on the boobs and tummy can look hot, but consider when the sag sets in in later years..... at 63, NOT sexy! Eych.

- people think Russell is funny. Methinks he is anything but. As he is a skinny, hairy git with a high-pitched voice, he should be singing Country & Western.

- chubby ugly women believe that the more toe rings they wear, the sexier and skinnier they are. Sorry, no on both counts. We just hear the clanking as you walk.
(Sebulba continues to fight evil with evil....., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 18:15, 13 replies)

People who hate Christmas.
Yes it's all a big marketing ploy these days, but for fucks sake stop being so miserable.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 17:41, 5 replies)

Katy Price
Though I'm finding it hard to decide which would be worse, a weekend in Jordan or a weekend with the slapper.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 17:38, 3 replies)

My mum
Asked me if I liked eating out.

I was busy doing something at the time and didn't really engage my brain. Instead I gave her a long and rambling diatribe about my experiences of this activity. I conclulded with: "It's sort of ok, if the girl's clean and isn't on her period."

My mum sort of cleared her throat and responded: "No, son - I meant, do you like going to restaurants."
(Pastabator earned his brown wings with your girlfriend on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 17:06, 12 replies)

Skinny jeans make me do the farmer dance.
I'm no sparkly belt fashion lady. I have a style that my sister has dubbed "teacup fairy" so you can kind of guess what I dress like. Skirts, happy polka dot tops, tights and a measure of wheeee. She's fantastic at dressing herself though, so out of envy I bought two pairs of skinny jeans.

I must have a really weird body shape or the designers were on something when they came up with these things! I can fit them, but hells bells, do they ever stay up? Every person I've talked to says how they always fall down, even when strapped up with a belt, and yet everyone is always in them. Their only benefit as far as I can see is keeping trousers out of puddles when it rains and showing off very pretty shoes.

And so I can usually be found, when trying to be "fashionable", walking about pulling up my jeans and waggling my legs so they'll go up better, in manner of some sort of extremely happy farmer doing a farmer dance.

As much as it makes me laugh, I'll stick to the teacups. ^-^
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 17:03, 1 reply)

Autofellatio.
All the enjoyment of a blowjob with the fear of the impending deluge of hot ejaculate, your OWN hot ejaculate mark you, venting forth.
And the back pain, dont get me started on the backpain.
(Vic Flange, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 17:00, 6 replies)

Music music music
Any music that people love when in fact, they can probably do it themselves...and a whole lot better too.

Scouting for Girls..i mean seriously, three lads that play instruments (well done) and each song sounds identical to the last. cunto's.

Razorlight...another set of cocknockers that do something that has been done a hundred thousand times before, and a hell of a lot better than they can do.

La Roux...sounds like a very ugly woman screeching with a zx spectrum 128k tape playing in the background.

Little Boots - Exactly the same as the above, but girls seem to chum off her. Dunno why.

There are plenty more where that came from but I decided to cut it short as not to bore you lovely people. I understand that 'pop music' has to have a place in the world, and a lot of it is good for what it is, but when people try to make it as though these people are the ultimate musicians that cant be touched or replicated, then it completely cocks me off.

rant over :D
(ProfessorNoShoes wishes he was better at Photoshop, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:59, 16 replies)

The homophone answers to QOTW, "art ruction" "at ructon" etc.
You know the type. The very unfunny, highly unoriginal "There was a fight in the Tate and I couldn't understand the art ruction" and the ilk. Some of them are hand crafted and almost clever but they all just leave me cold and make me add the submitter to my ignore list.
(Wallilay has been bored of this shit since, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:54, 15 replies)

House
I saw this recently with a friend who thought I NEEDED to see the programme because it was amazing and it would change my life. It seems the (hour long) entire episode is spent waiting for Hugh Laurie to say something cynical or derisive. I perhaps wouldn't mind it so much if I didn't get the creeping feeling that House's character was "pioneered" years earlier in the ever-saccharine shitcom Scrubs; in the form of the mincingly camp Dr Cox. Wasn't good then either.
( Fitznicely into a thimble, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:53, 3 replies)

Decimals
I've never liked them.

I just can't see the point.
(marcooosa has no idea what a board sig is, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:41, 4 replies)

Dancing.
Another thing that curtails my success with the ladies.

I fucking hate dancing. Hate it to the extent that I'd rather offend an attractive lady by stubbornly refusing to get up than make an arse of myself careering around the floor with her.

I don't dance. Ever.

Apart from the slow, holdy-on-to-someone dances, obviously.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:20, 12 replies)

Hammond
Ok, I'm gonna have to plump for a person here and that person is Richard Hammond.

Early Top Gear he seemed to play along nicely and was decent enough, then he had his little accident. His very own 'hamster falling down the stairs in a hard plastic ball'.

Since then his little face and silly hair and dress sense are in demand and everyone appears to be lapping him up. Why? Why? WHY!?!
(Boggins is still alive!, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:15, 5 replies)

Shagging people that you hardly know.
I am the only one, it seems. My friends seem to think I'm some sort of weirdo, and any woman who takes a vague interest in me soon loses it when I don't immediately begin trying to unhook their bra.

Call me old fashioned, but I'd sort of like to know someone before I start shoving bits of myself into them.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:11, 5 replies)

Earrings & bald men with ponytails.
I don't understand the attraction many men have for wearing earrings. I find it to be a stupid & idiotic look.

Then add being bald with a ponytail to the mix. What the fuck is that all about?

In my day (when men were men & women were women) any male fuckwad wearing earrings or bald ponytail wearers would be given a well deserved thrashing, after removal of said earrings & ponytail.
(barrycounty, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 16:10, 4 replies)

PE and English Lit teachers.
What's the attraction in taking a subject which you obviously have great passion for and systematically extracting all the pleasure out of them?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 15:30, 2 replies)

Prepares for flaming
I never understand the attraction of being rich. No seriously.

Many people believe that money can buy you happiness etc etc but let me tell you this I have a decent amount of money in the bank and nothing that I can do (short of some mystical sodding magic power ring) can bring my loved ones back from the dead or make me happy. Maybe I am being a little harsh as I know people that have worked their way up seemed to enjoy their money and lifestyle a lot more than I do (My money came via inheritance).

So yeah, I can’t see the attraction of a millionaires lifestyle... that’s why I get my kicks dressing up in a rubber suit and fighting Gotham’s underworld instead.

Love

Bruce
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 15:14, 3 replies)

Culture
I thought about this the other day whilst walking home through a back street and I walked past this gallery and looked inside and there was all this shit about 'Culture' and you had these white women walking around wearing clothes from fucking africa, like what Nelson mandela would wear and then I realised that the city I live in, Brussels (AKA asshole end of the entire fucking universe) is so into fucking CULTURE and it makes me wanna hurl uncultured chunks. Come Summer time there is this festival called 'Couluer Cafe' where they have loads of black and brizillian musicians and shit but walk around and its full of fucking Black and brazillian wannabees,why do these people wnat to be black and why do they want to be like them? Yes they are cool but they are cool because they are black or brazillian, you are not cool because I can see you are not black and you are not Brazillian and you are wearing those clothes and walking that walk and prancing that prance and yet you still dont manage to pull it off. You then have these bull shit conversations about how cultured you are arty farty... hurl vomit puke. Urg... spit... hurl once more... puke.

Vent moment.
(Barmybarny, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 15:11, 8 replies)

Shaved lady bits
I don't know if it is just me but it really does absolutely nothing for me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't subscribe to 'bighairybeavers.com'* or anything but I just find doing the dirty with a woman whose vag looks like an 8 year old's kind of off-putting.

On the occassions where I have encountered one, it is generally quite stubbly which is even less pleasant.

Just a nicely trimmed, well-kempt lady garden will do me nicely thanks.

*may or may not be a real site
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 14:55, 10 replies)

Oh so many...
Going to pubs that play loud music but you can't dance. Or talk. Or get a drink for under £4, but hey, everybody goes there so you have to, right? And the gorilla on the door wouldn't let you in 'cos you're wearing something different to all the other clones inside and expects you to weep at his rejection. I don't even want to go near people who LIKE those sorts of pubs never mind go IN one, PLEASE stop dragging me in there 'for my own good'!

Following trends or styles to look like everyone else you know and proud of it. Likewise getting REALLY weirded out by those who don't or follow some other trend or style. It's just clothes and hair not a different species or some kind of deliberate attempt to annoy you, get over it.

Designer goods that aren't as good as other similar products but it has a 'cool' logo on it. Oh and it costs more, so it must be good.

TV Soaps.

Cars considered to be sexy. IT'S. A. CAR.

Wii.

Facebook/Twitter/PleaseStalkMeIHaveNoLife.com

Watching any Sport on TV like your entire existence and future status depends upon the outcome.

Celebrity magazines and tabloid newspapers and those who insist on telling everyone what they read/saw in them. I really don't give a flying fuck if she wore the same dress twice or who she's fucking, I really really don't.

Tits. They don't even have a hole...
( ..wil, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 14:43, 5 replies)

McDonald's french fries
are fucking disgusting, yet the serving staff look at me like I'm a Daily Mail reader when I say No, I don't want fries with that.
( FishNChimps Achtung! Spitfeuer!, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 14:12, 11 replies)

taxi drivers
We all need taxis (occasionally).. but they do our heads in.

In Dublin, they've taken to protesting every few weeks, and jamming city centre. I've yet to find anyone who gives a flute about their protesting anymore. The last protest, they brought Dublin city centre to a standstill. (I believe they were trying to get everyone to vote no to the lisbon referendum). I'm sure the next protest will probably be over stale donuts or something...

Recently they've all started double-parking on self-imposed taxi ranks around the city, yet try going out on a friday/saturday night and trying to get a cab .. no chance.

bastards.
(sarcasmo needs more sleep, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 14:05, 4 replies)

Advertising agencies...
A recent Charlie Brooker TV show sort of dealt with one of my main gripes with this but it seems even he, the Baron of Bile, seems to have had a blind spot on this.

It started with car and perfume ad's in the 90's but that was okay as I was too you to care, I remember the backgound noise of some standup ranting but it's too fuzzy to remember.

Simply put my problem is with adverts that, if you removed reference to the product in question, would leave you completely oblivious as to what the product does. A sloppy explination I know but as they say the bear is with me.

I try and go through the meetings in my head that lead to adverts like the recent Smirnoff ad campaign where a bunch of rich young Tarquin, Jarvis, Apple and Geniveve socialites have a magical costume part in the woods, (a la Guess Jeans).

If you remove the one scene with the bottle in it and the logo at the end then it could be for fucking Anusol for all I know! The people talking aren't telling me how smooth Smirnoff is or what interesting drinks I can make with it because...well...because it's just vodka; but they just tell me how mad it was to have this party in the woods and, if you'll allow me to read between the lines, how fucking great it is to be richer and have more richer friends than me!

Admiral Insurance! Why am I more likely to buy it from a cunt in a hat? You never see his legs because he's not wearing pants, the talking parrot is in his head and he's in at 2 o'clock for electro shock therapy because Bonaparte won't stay out of Prussia!

This is a rant now and it wasn't supposed to be, but these adverts seem to be getting more popular, (anyone who has seen the dancing penguins will know it is a direct result of webuyanycar), and on this basis I ask what is the companies attraction to these talentless bastards!?

'Because it sells comes the answer', so it then falls at your feet, why do we find this dross appealing
(Feeb is a smooth operator, operating correctly, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 13:54, 23 replies)

Never mind all that....
...what the blistering fuck have you got against lesbian porn?

There are at least twice the usual amount of breasts and if you really need to see a cock to get a sense of involvement have a quick look at the one in your shaking right hand.

If you need to see another man's cock I would consider the possibilities that you might be 'shopping in the wrong aisle' before having a go at the likes of 'Lesbian Spank Inferno'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 13:46, 6 replies)

Ill-informed opining in public.
I just don't get it.

Aren't people embarrassed by their own ignorance?

"Why would someone want to get a needle through their clit" was asked not so far down this page.... well, they don't.
Very very few people have had a needle through their clit. Piercers will only do it if there is little/NO sensation there. Lots however get pierced in hood... because it rubs against the clit. (and looks pretty).

"Needle through the bell-end"
Again. VERY rare.

One of the more common piercings is the Prince Albert. .. that doesn't go though the bellend at all.. just a little bit of urethra wall.

www.b3ta.com/questions/bodymodification/

Go on. go learn something.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 13:35, 18 replies)

Another thing i dont find attractive
Working in Admin which im doing an apprenticeship in at the mo, unless your working for something like the Transformers construction factory i dont see the point endless paper shifting in a suit for low pay =(
(Original Badman Is easily amused by the word chumbawumba, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 13:31, 9 replies)