I had a stupid crush...
on Erika Eleniak, shauni from Baywatch, before Pam 'fake tits' arrived.
She has scary eye brows but I still would!
Rogerzilla - I'm right with you on sweaty Ally Sheedy from Wargames, Hubba Hubba! Woof Woof! Gigady gigady!
( 42 Loves Teh Funphenschnaffles, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 16:24, Reply)

Mmmm Professor Snape...
...is H O T! But the strange obessions don't end at him. I have also fancied, Alvin (from the Chipmunks), Leonardo (from the Nija Turtles), Peter Kay, James May, David Cameron, Billy Connelly....I NEED HELP!

p.s. Please note, though I may sound like a 45 year old housewife with an animation fettish, I am actually only a 21, with a slight cartoon horn!
(fillyfogg22, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 16:21, Reply)

Liza Tarbuck
and Caroline Quentin.

I'll get me coat...
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 16:18, Reply)

my violin teacher
i was about 9/10, and she was 17/18 earning pocket money while she finished her a-levels, god she was gorgeous
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:50, Reply)

valdivar - you're not alone
this isn't inappropriate either, but anyone see the video for Want you bad by the offspring?

my god the girl in that is gorgeous....and at the end the last shot of her is with foam running down her face looking like something else....*gibbers*

she's also in the video for crawling by linkin park, but just looks like an ordinary goth (ok, she still looks hot)

additionally, I have no idea what she looks like, but the woman who reads the shipping forecast at 11:55pm on BBC Radio 4 has an incredibly beautiful voice. mesmerising in fact. I don't recommend getting really stoned and driving while listening to it. it'll suck you in to the stero!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:45, Reply)

I'm not a lesbian but...
One my friends has got a beautiful body. She's not chubby, she's not skinny, it's somewhere in between and it's beautiful. Her skin is lovely, her breasts are perfect and to top it off, she is one of the kindest people I've ever met.

On a couch with a couple of other friends, I'm sitting next to her. She is wearing a lowcut shirt. I say to her, "You really have awesome tits". Got my share of odd looks from the other 15 year olds, I can tell you!
(thick as a brick I think a no, I mean a yes, but it's all wrong, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:43, Reply)

Few more - Am I **That** shallow?
The Andromeda robot thing from Andromeda - the series was utter crap, but MMmmm: www.imdb.com/name/nm0230693/
Or Beka Valentine from the same: www.imdb.com/name/nm0753121/

Or both. At the same time :-)

Rachel Green from Friends - I had loads of posters of her at Uni. And mugs. And T Shirts. And baseball caps, wallpapers, etc etc. Somehow I dodged the tattoo I almost got.

Dharma from Dharma and Greg..... Yummy. www.imdb.com/name/nm0001184/

And one time, I got hammered and told my other half that I'd leave her for Helen Baxandale. And Andrea Corr.

And I told her that I fancied someone else too. And she's older than me. And no, I can't/daren't name here anywhere.

Yes, I have a thing for blondes. No, my other half isn't blonde..... Ooops!

/sad?

/yes.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:34, Reply)

Condoleezza Rice
I've had a major crush on her ever since having a wet dream about her a couple of years back.
I've had a number of dream tristes with her since then. They always end up with wild, steamy sex. She's very willing and adventurous.

I know she's evil. That's part of the appeal.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:26, Reply)

I want to keep my balls - well attached anyway!
My wife checks up on my posts occationally - so Mrs Catchag - after 3 years of marriage I still have a crush on you.

But rogerzilla, you are so right!
(Catchag "You know!....For Kids!", Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:20, Reply)

That BBC reporter with the wide face
She's lovely. And so clever! I once spent all night watching news 24 hanging on every word. No, I do not know why.

Also any Maid Marion. Ever. Unless played by a boy in a panto. I'd go to them to watch the boys played by girls. THAT was confusing to a pre-teen.

Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters. Covered in mashmallow. Mmmmmmmm.

Any female neighbour. Yes, I grew up in Norwich.
(bendyness shows you on the brick where he licked her, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:08, Reply)

rachelswipe
Billy Kennedy... Oh GOD yes...

And when little Billy turned up all grown up as that doctor in House...

Ancrenne, I've had to go and have a moment about that. Mind you, even my (male, totally heterosexual) ex-flatmate thinks Richard Farley is a bit lovely.

S'cuse me, wine with lunch. Bad idea...

*sighs*
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 15:08, Reply)

Thora Hird
In her later years.

fwaps
( Snollock Biffer I don't really sniff Bollocks, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 14:59, Reply)

Why has nobody mentioned
Tilda Swinton as the White Witch in Chronicles of Narnia. She can freeze me stiff anytime. A kids' film? Yeah, right.
(The Jannie, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 14:35, Reply)

penny from inspector gadget
sex on legs.
(rcgeorge23, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 14:15, Reply)

String Theory
You are not alone.

But I'm going first......
( reverend_smarm, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 13:45, Reply)

Not good
'Red' from Fraggle Rock. Christ, I feel terrible. She's not even human, let alone REAL.

Reckon she'd be pretty energetic though. Pigtails bouncing up and down, with that fixed open-mouthed expression . . .
(valdivar kant speel, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 13:34, Reply)

That's so Raven (well her friend....)
Annelise Van Der Pol

images.zap2it.com/20040706/meangirlspr/021_annelisevanderpol_meangirlspr.jpg


Nuff said
(penrose your dog's got tits, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 13:22, Reply)

John McEnroe
not in his dodgy perm days, but now. And Kafka. One of my friends used to have a thing for John Thaw though. Which was just wrong.
(Picotee, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 13:16, Reply)

Draco Malfoy's thuggish lackey...
...from the Harry Potter movies - not the fat one, the other taller one. As much as I try-not-to-think about it, I always see him and think 'Mmmmm, I could give that lad something to do in detention and no mistake'. What can I say? I just like them big 'n' ugly - 'n' male, obviously :)

I wouldn't mind (leaving the fact he's definitely under 21 aside for just a moment lol) but I usually like them older - closer to my own age, that is, and for several reasons too, but still 1-2 decades older than him.

I could spout off 'wand' gags all day, but I'll spare us all the torment.

PS - Wasn't it the decidedly homely and oo-aaaar-ish poet Pam Ayres who used to voice the Caramel Bunny? At least at first (talking about the seventies here)?
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 12:48, Reply)

So... it was just me
who wanted to empty my spunk trumpet over the AOL woman's perfectly bobbed hair, was it?
( String Theory sometimes feeds the sparrows too, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 12:14, Reply)

speaking of harry potter
not my crush, and i don't get it personally. but there is a website somewhere out there devoted to sexy film villains. and one of them is alan rickman as professor snape. the caption under his picture made me laugh so i thought i'd share it:

"oooh, professor snape. our insolence must be punished..."


edit: just saw vix0r's post - is it your website by any chance!??!?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:44, Reply)

billy from neighbours
so young, so beautiful.

even reminding myself australia was about 18 months ahead of us didn't stop him being a foetus compared to me (and i was only 21 at the time). but come on, how fit was he?!

edit: purplefairy at least thought so too, i see! now i feel vindicated.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:43, Reply)

to all the men lusting after the caramel bunny
one of the ex mr-rachel-swipes was obsessed with her. then there was an article in the paper with a photo of the actress who does it.

i am not computer literate enough to attach a picture. but er - if you google her, i don't think she'll feature in anyone's top ten. think jo brand, with a very bad haircut.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:41, Reply)

I once threw a baby into the back of a bin lorry.

( Malchick, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:38, Reply)

Your mum.

( Malchick, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:35, Reply)

oh god oh god oh god
from the ages of 13 - 18 i was in LOVE with my history teacher. an odd choice for a teenage crush, as he was nice looking and very funny, but in his 30s with dodgy clothes and a bald patch.

anyway, the entire school knew about it, and he knew about it, and it kept coming up in horrendous situations. for instance, the time the entire bus was singing "rachelswipe and mr x sitting in a tree" for what felt like the ENTIRE way to wales. or when he was asked by my so-called friends to pose for topless photos for me on a school trip (that i wasn't even on!). or when the arch bitch who taught me latin rang my father to tell him it was distracting me from my latin (wtf?! sneaking out at lunchtime for boozing and fags distracted me from latin, not to mention its unutterable dullness. no wonder they all died. did she think i sat there, chin in hand, making googly eyes at the trees and dreaming about him?!) and i should be moved into a different history set. i will never forget the soul searing embarrassment of being bollocked for poor attention in latin and then leaving the room to hear my dad say to my mum: "and what about this history teacher she thinks she's courting".....

it was 5 years of butterflies, swooning and scarlet faced cringing.

anyway, he totally formed the kind of man i find attractive now and although it was just a crush i'm too old and cynical now to feel like that again - that pure undiluted excitement of lusting after someone so perfect and unattainable was quite nice in a way. so i smile about him very occasionally (like once a year).

then, a couple of weeks ago, and ten years after leaving school, i idly googled him, not expecting to find anything.

and there he was... or a message in the guestbook from him anyway... gracing the pages of... A BLOODY GAY SWIM MEET!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!! how much was i the butt (see what i did there) of the staffroom jokes. bah!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:30, Reply)

Normanator
Heather Locklear.

_{*dribble, spluff*}
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:26, Reply)

English Teacher
School crush, not much else to say but whenever I emptied it for about 3 months, and I did four or five times a day. I was wishing it was on her.

I had way to much porn for a 15 year old I think.
(Doogie Talons, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 11:16, Reply)

i have a problem
where to start??
i used to love ballykissagnel when i was younger, and i mean love it, i apparently used to have a crush on dervla kirwan.....and i'm sad to say i do remember the cut out picture from a newspaper i had stuck on my bedroom wall. omg.
then came katy hill from blue peter, according to my parents i used to talk about her non-stop. also had a poster of her....omg again.
then there was cerys matthews from catatonia. now i was obsessed with them and gradually became obsessed with her. not in a fancying way, just wanted to be her. i vowed that i'd never ever like another band. when i met her i nearly died and she even signed my arm! now that's commitment for you.
after they split up came the normal stage in my life when i went out with boys. had a few long term relationships....then came the teacher. he was a man just to confirm and oh how i fancied him. i tend to get obsessed with people when i like them that much and it didn't help that he did and still does live a few streets away from me :)
aaaaaaaanyway, things happened and i've now got over him. i've realised what a complete using twat he is. how many times do you have to explain that "i am not a sex toy, either be serious with me or we'll stop" wife and kids too....:( i'm ashamed.
but on more cheerful note i am now in a new relationship with someone of the opposite sex but have a HUGE obsession with sheryl crow. she is hothothot! and yes i would if she ever came to wales. my boyfriend is happy about my new "obsession" (i actually don't think i'm obsessed....well maybe just a tad) he approves 100%. we made a promise that neither of us would get jelous if sheryl had most attention if our planned 3some ever happened......

i told you i have a problem
(CathT, Mon 2 Oct 2006, 10:22, Reply)