re: "you're all a bunch of twats anyway"
That had seriously fucking better be a joke. Not to imply that it's funny.
(jennymnemonic, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 17:29, Reply)

Things Not To Say To Girls
When i was at Uni, a few years ago now my mate James who is a fair bit older than me use to travel from Manchester to Sheffield a couple of times a week to join in the fun and festivities of 1st year university.
Anyway James considers himself a bit a 'jack the lad' type and to be fair he does quite well with the ladies and they don't seem to mind his sexist remarks and generally crude demina.

So anyway one drunken student Wednesday night me James and a few other pals are walking home with a group of pretty keen girls, everything is going well and despite James being obnoxious the girls seem to love it.

I’m not sure how the next bit came about but the challenge from one of the girls that there was "nothing you can say that will shock us" was just asking for trouble.

Seems like girls don’t like being called 'abortion knickers' particularly as it later transpired a couple of the girls may have had some experience of this.

So guys take heed 'abortion' for some reason??? isn't a word to be casually thrown about in the presence of girls and is generally considered going too far!


Credit where credits due tho, James did win the challenge!
(Bang_the_Drums an ending fitting for the start, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 17:29, Reply)

Ring of Fire
Time: Second year at Uni
Place: Flatshare in Hackney

One of my flatmates and bestmates had (in my view) a very unhealthy obsession with keeping his room neat and tidy. Not the kind of behaviour you expect from a 19 yr old bloke who spent his entire university career drinking, gambling and eventually ‘not completing his degree course’.

Anyway, he would go mad, if for example I went into his huge, lovely floor boarded room to fold his rug in a funny way or throw his carefully placed cushions onto the floor or leave his ‘famous pubs of London’ poster hanging by one corner.

One day, he brought back a beautiful house plant from some market and after proudly showing us all – spent the next 4 hours deciding in which corner and at what angle the plant looked best. The very next day the plant had died and all the leaves had fallen off, leaving him angry beyond words and us laughing like hyenas. Whilst he was in the pub/bookies I decided, as it was autumn, to pick up hundreds of leaves off the street and sellotape them to the pathetic leafless stump that was still in his room. This was really funny for about a day until we pinpointed the dreadful stench in his room to the leaves and realised they were covered in cats piss.

Still, not going too far – just the usual student horseplay.

What was probably going to far though, was my favourite way of annoying him which was to hold a lighter close to his huge paper lantern lampshade hung in the middle of the room. Although standard student issue, this was his pride and joy for some reason and I used to take delight in making small black marks on it with a lighter. I must have made about 20 such marks before the inevitable happened.

I could only watch with eyes like Garfield and a mouth like Jaws as the huge paper lantern burst into flames –– the thing went up like a fireball with the wire slowly uncoiling like a melting slinky and my mate screaming ‘what have you done you f*cker!? what have you done you f*cker!?’ in a voice like Joe Pesquale on helium. I thought the whole house was going to burn down around our ears.

It didn’t but my mate was never the same again.

A few years later, we found out he was gay.
Coincidence?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 17:22, Reply)

Heard a story about a local rugby team....
...they had a player on thier side whose party trick on every night out was to back in one a bottle of Newcastle Brown in about 3 seconds. Each to they're own I suppose, I always thought that after a bottle of that your mouth tastes of ashtray the next morning, but hey ho. This team were getting bored of the showoff so they concocted a plan.

One of the player's mates was in the glass business, and they gave him a bottle of newky brown to empty. He drilled a tiny hole, and emptied the bottle away of it's contents. The team then provided this glass-mechanic (so to speak) with a bucket full of piss and shit and filth along with a funnel. The glass bloke filled the bottle, and then promtly sealed the bottle back up. Looks good as new.

They go down the local after a match the next week, and one of the players smuggles the bottle into the pub. A few of the players ask for someone to get the rounds in, and for the showoff to do his trick again. He gets all pumped up and excited, and waits for his bottle. They open it, and all chant happily "Down in one, down in one".

He made it half-way. It come back up and re-decorated half of the bar with the contents just as quick as his beer attempt. The landlord had to close the bar for an hour just to clean the shit and piss up, and the team were promptly banned from the pub.

I guess he won't be showing off again.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 16:54, Reply)

Attempted murder....
I once lived with an evil bitch troll from hell. Let's call her Lucy-Slag for that was her name. Lucy-Slag's nastiness had reached such a level that revenge was required. So, myself and my partner in crime decided to thaw out some of Lucy-Slag's food in the microwave and then refreeze it in the hope that she'd get a bit ill. Lucy-Slag scoffed the food. We waited. Nothing happened. Bitch must have had iron guts.

Ok, so some may say it could have killed her and therefore it counts as attempted murder and therefore is going too far but I laugh in their faces tra la.

Hmm on second thoughts maybe I'm in the wrong question thing cos that surely counts as "I didn't go far enough" :-)
(angelica666, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 16:48, Reply)

This Bloke I'm Affiliated with
Well we call him "Chee-doe" it's a nickname derived from his real name (along the lines of Harry for Henry, etc., etc.).

Skip back a couple of years ago, High School, Cheedo is craving a cigarrette, any brand, anything to cure his itch for the sweet sweet cancer.

Across from him: two Asian blokes. One asks the other for a cig. The other takes a brand new box out and hands his mate a stick.

Cheedo walks up to them. Asks if could bum one off. Asian refuses. Cheedo, who is understanding that tabacco costs money, offers currency for one cigarrette. Asian then tells Cheedo, "Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes." And both, smug and full of shit, walked away from Cheedo.

He stood there, brewing. Anger growing. You could've fried some won-tons and egg rolls on his head.

He strolled to the school parking lot. Looked for any and all Asian made cars. Slashed some tires with a blade he carries around. He remembered one of the two Asians rode a bike to school. He went to the bikes and slashed tires and brake lines on any bike that resembled the Asian's bike.

That wasn't far enough for him, from then on he grew to HATE anything and everything from the Oriental East. To this day, so I've heard, No one can take him to China Town or chinese/thai/mongolian/japanes resturants. Basically anyone with slanted eyes and straight hair will get a brutal treatment from Cheedo. And all for a cigarrette.

Turned out the guys we're actually from Hawaii. He still hates "Chinks" though.

Not me though. I love them, super, number 1!!!!!!: )!!: )!!
(The Horizontal Monster Mash Mr. T Pitties Me, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 16:40, Reply)

Drunkard nights out
One of my mates thinks that VK Blue tastes of piss. This is because the only times he's ever drunk it is when we've pissed in a bottle and given it to him.
( Furness, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 16:30, Reply)

Way too far (its long but worth it)
One of my mates occasionally has too many when we go to the pub, and rather than leave his car there, has the nasty habit of driving home trolleyed. One night he did it when I was staying at his, and to this day he swears he'll never do it again.

You see, the next morning after a heavy session at the local he was still in bed nursing the mother of all hangovers. I'd got up a few hours before him due to my not being totally wankered the night before, and happened to catch the local news. It turned out that some old duffer had been knocked over and killed by a hit and run driver the night before. Well...the opportunity was just too tempting.

So with a spring in my step I almost ran down to the town center. I had three stops on my list:
The butchers (Pigs hearts a free if you ask nicely)
The hairdressers (They look at you funny but they'll give you a bit of hair if you ask)
The Off-Licence (You still have to buy a local paper)

So back I go to his house. The coast is clear. Good. No going back now. After little more than 2 minutes my master piece is ready for action. The corner of his car looks like an Iraqi. Its doused in pig blood and little bits of flesh and hair, and the headlight is smashed. I paused a bit before smashing it, but decided that it would make it look more real, and wouldn't cost too much to replace.

An hour later up he gets, still half asleep. He glances at the perfectly placed paper but thinks nothing of it. Then about half-an-hour later he goes out to his car. The look of slow realisation dawning on his face has he realised what must have happened was absolutely priceless, and worth any amount that the headlight would cost.

Then it reached a new height of funny for me. He started almost crying saying that he'd have to turn himself in. At this point most people would have stopped, but not me...no way.
I offered to go with him, and let him get all the way to the front door of the police station before I told him the truth.
( Furness, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 16:27, Reply)

RACIST!!
I'm joining in the Uni related fun...

Sunday night at the Manygates bar, and Owen (not the same chap mentioned in my last post, though maybe it's something to do with the name) is running the weekly Quiz. Which my mate Nik and I win by a landslide. Victorious, we go to collect our winnings. Now, we happened to live with Owen, and among the chorus of "FIX!" from our fellow students, Owen yells over the mic:

"Sorry, the Quiz is only open to English nationals!"

Stony silence. See, Nik is Scottish and fiercely patriotic, and I am Danish by descent.

Well. The next day, Nik and I paid a visit to the head of the student union. We got some official headed paper and an envelope, and sent Owen a letter saying, basically, that he'd been reported for making Xenophobic and Racist comments which were clearly against the student charter - and as a result he was being withdrawn from the course. And we sent it.

Did I mention this was three weeks before we graduated?

The letter arrived two days later. It was accompanied my much screaming and crying ("I din't mean it! I'm WELSH, for Chrissakes!") and (at least one) very angry parent... So we told him it was a trick.

He thought we went too far. I say it was justified!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 15:59, Reply)

Well deserved as far as I'm concerned
My mate at Uni shared a house with four others, all of whom were complete twunts - you know the kind, sing loud songs while swilling cheapest lager wearing rugby shirts with the collar turned up and picking on the smallest - my mate.

Now I was out of this living arrangement being the Uni was in my parents home town and there was no need for me to expose myself to the ritual humiliation of these wankers or, more importantly, the expense.

One term in and my pal couldn't take anymore and moved out - not before emptying the communal industrial size tin of coffee, laying the most beautiful brown trout in it and refilling the coffee.

Several weeks later the household discovered the festering lump of human excrement, only after using up the contents of the tin.

Revenge is sweet? Putrid for these tossers
(ElGatodeBarco, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 15:43, Reply)

He deserved a papercut!
Wow. I guess reading these that it's a case of with friends like these, who needs enemies?

Anyhoo, I digress. And I haven't even started.

A long, long time ago in a village far, far away, me and the other kids from the road used to get up to all sorts of 'wild' and 'crazy' adventures.

One day, while John, Owen and I were out on our bikes, we came across an 'art pamphlet' in a hedgerow. (Bear in mind, John and I were about 10, owen about 14.) We disappeared down to our den, where John and I giggled and pointed a lot, while Owen yelled - "Look at THIS!"

We turned. Oh, to this day how I wish I hadn't.

Because Owen had taken a page from this 'Rhythm Publication', ripped a hole in the appropriate part of the page, and had stuck his (fully lobbed) tadger through it.

Humping a picture? Far too far.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 15:27, Reply)

ok, this is an odd one...
Many that's no moons ago, I was at uni regularly getting caned. My mum was approaching her 50th birthday, so I called her to ask what she'd like. Thinking about it for a while, she said, "I've never tried smoking weed, how about that?" I was a little shocked, but my mother is pretty cool so I took her seriously. Actually, I was a little surprised that she hadn't as she went to art college in the 60s, but there you go. So I go to my dealer, get a nice big bag of skunk and hop on the train home. I get home and invite a load of mates round for a smoke with my mum - most of them have known her as long as I have, but a couple hadn't met her before. So the night was on. We started getting caned and my mum was smoking skunk in my ancestral living room, stinking out the whole street. Sweet. Is this going too far?

Nah, this is just the back story.

After a while, one of the people I'd invited, who'd never met my mum, took a bit of a shine to her. And called her a MILF to her face. Now, to me, that's going too far. Obviously, I couldn't let this go unchallenged, but before I could say a word, my mother piped up, "Thank you", she said. Apparently she'd watched American Pie the night before and understood exactly what he was on about. That was clearly better than anything I could have said, because the look on his face was priceless. And about two minutes later, the lad pulled a whitey and ended up shivering and covered in puke on our front lawn.

Ah, the good old days...

something about longness goes here...
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 14:59, Reply)

Bush. Iraq.
'Nuff Said.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Wed 15 Nov 2006, 14:07, Reply)

politically correct?
Kicking about killing time on a film set (never as glamourous as you think), someone's reading the paper and exclaims, 'apparently in london a car gets broken into every 12 seconds'.

'Isn't that children dying in Africa?'

'No, that's every three seconds'

'Oh right'



'But then, a child dying in Africa doesn't cost me anything.'


Going to hull.
(ikonic, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 13:53, Reply)

you have to question his sanity
A few years back it was my first year at uni, i was blessed with the unique situation of living 4 stories above the student union (Anyone whos been to Bath Uni knows where I mean). Pretty much everyone was sound except this one guy who we will call Dick, cos its funnier that way.

Slight back story: My mate C lost his room key a few weeks before, plus he had a PS2, so his room became the hang out for anyone who wasnt out on the piss. C is also asthmatic (doesnt stop him smoking a shit load tho).

Sat in said union one merry friday evening, C and Dick get into arguement, something about Dicks girlfiend looking like a little boy and that fact that no-one liked him. Rubbish fight ensues which was over before it start as Dick runs away. We all carry on the nights drinking without a 2nd thought. Upon returning home another mate is waiting for us, he proceeds to explain the insanity that had occured in our abscence.

Dick had come into C's room grabbed C's inhaler and punctured it repeatedly with a compass, odd! Cos Dick was drunk he had cut his hand fairly badly. Instead of seeking medical attention, he procceed to write TWAT on C's door in massive letters, oh yeh in blood!!!

Think that might be going a little too far.

P.S. Dick then takes his bike and dissappears for 3 days, when he returned it turned out he stayed in the hostel down the road.
(L0p3z, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 13:43, Reply)

Back in the days of schoolage...
...we had a history teacher with a very nice pair of........eyes.

And her tits were amazing too.

Anyway, she looked like a young Drew Barrymore, and being horny teenagers with low standards, (pulse, two legs being high standards in our books) she was the object of many of our affections.
One boy in our year, M, was sitting in history class one day, daydreaming, when out loud he said to this teacher in a low, sultry voice
"Say my name".
"I'm sorry?" she replied.
Cue much laughing and the story travelling around the entire school in about ten minutes. We all knew what he was thinking when he said that.

So, fanasising about your teacher? Fairy snuff.
Doing it out loud in front of her? Too far
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 13:32, Reply)

oops...
Too far? How far is too far?
Er…
Ok.
Mid 90s, myself and a bunch of friends got invited to a new yrs eve party, fancy dress and everything, the whole kit and caboodle. Being much into LSD at the time, I pocketed a couple of tabs, and scoffed them when the party started to kick off. About an hour later, I was outside, chatting to a very nice, very friendly young lady, who was giving out all the right signs. At this point, a chap known as Scrotey arrived . Young scrotey had been hanging around with me and my chums for a while, and in an attempt to ingratiate himself, had bought a motorcycle (the rest of us were die-hard mo’sickle riders) and proceeded to try to climb a tree whilst wearing a Yamaha. Sad, tragic even, as he’d broken his back and would spend the rest of his days in a wheelchair. I have as much sympathy as the next man, but Scrotey had been getting on everyones tits for months, behaving appalingly and then going for the pity vote – some still fell for it, most people had wised up and told him in no uncertain terms to sort himself out or fuck off. So, back at the party, I was getting along famously with the girl, standing outside with her, drinking, stroking hands etc, when there’s a terrific pain in my ankle. I look down to see the grinning face of Scrotey as he repeatedly rams his ‘chair into my legs, with the clear intention of stopping me copping off. I bent down, and hissed at him that if he did it once more, I’d have him out of his chair so fast his empty head would spin. To which his reply was “you wouldn’t dare, I’m in a wheelchair”.
Oops.
The inevitable happened; wheelchair-ankle interface scenario. So, excusing myself from the lady, I turned, hooked my foot under the footplate of his chariot, and lifted.
Despite the acid, the look of horror on his face that someone had actually had enough of his shit is etched upon my memory.
Unfortunately, the way he landed meant that he hit the ground on top of his colostomy bag, which burst…..

Perhaps too far.
length? the trail of unmentionable gak that scrotey left behind him after he'd been placed back in his carriage, that was about 40 foot...
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 13:16, Reply)

pease
once at work (pub) the chef (female, minger bad tempered & ginger too) ran out of peas and kicked up a massive fuss, and started shouting at me or workmate aaron to go get some peas from the shop. stupid bitch. not being one to miss out on the oppertunity to push her low tolerance level to the limit, i & aaron decided to wind her up with an array of very poor pea puns for the next few hours. she was getting quite upset now, and her poor communication skills only allowed her to shout a torrent of profanaties at me, but really if it wasn't for her obnoxious attitude....

anyway, this all calmed down, we finally ran out of pea puns, and humbly apologised to the chef, only to get a HUGE piece of card and write the words 'no peas' on it, and then stick it on the windscreen of her car. we both knew she wouldnt find it funny and knew it was going too far, and she would most definately get very pissed off. anyway, she finished her shift, so we ran out to the yard, which overlooks the carpark, hid behind the fence and waited for her to leave.

her jaw dropped. "RIGHT! GET HERE NOW!"

i stuck me head over the fence, 'c'mon we're just having a laugh.'

me & aaron wetting ourselves, him unsucessfully trying to sneak away, shirking the blame on me, twunt.

the sight of her having a full blown tantrum, toys out the pram and all, in the carpark was ace, albiet slightly undignified for her.

humourless bitch grassed up to the boss..

he said, 'dont worry, ginger people havent got a sense of humour' and left it at that. result.

the irony was we had peas along, she just looked in the wrong freezer.
(rollerdisco, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 13:16, Reply)

the wedgy
I gave my mate the wedgy from hell, he cried, he had to go home, he couldn't sit down and his bum bled.

My brother gave me a wedgy once, he pulled so hard it ripped my undies off, to make matters worse he then poured my pint over me, I spent the rest of the night commando, wet and planning my sweet revenge....to this day I still haven't got my sweet desserts.
(Project BBQ Impossibru, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 12:35, Reply)

Never leave home, kids
Not me, but a good friend of mine, who we shall call D.

D moved into uni halls up here in Scotland during his first year, residing with a bunch of guys he had never met before.
For the first few months, he got fairly friendly with a couple of the guys in the flat, except for one Geordie lad who was a bit quiet(Can't remember his name, so I'll call him G). Anyway, D and the other guys in the house enjoyed gettin shitfaced and making Coke-bottle bongs, whereas the quiet G fellah, just seemed to sit around the flat all day, not doing much work, keeping himself to himself.

One night, everyone from the flat was out on a particularly heavy bender. My mate D went home early rather the worse for wear, and G had disappeared off somewhere.
Fast forward to later that night, and two of the other guys in the flat are returning home, drunk and stoned. They decide that it would be fun to mess about with G's car as a "joke". This joke involved slashing his tyres, breaking off his wing mirrors and windscreen wipers. (There might have been a shit-on-the-bonnet episode, I can't remember.)

This quite clearly was taking it too far.

However....

G returns home even later than the pranksters, obviously to find his nearly new Corsa looking properly fucked. D is sitting in the living area, sees G stroll into the house, into the kitchen, collect a large kitchen knife, walk through to one of the car-molesters' bedrooms and calmly stab him in the stomach, before walking out and heading off to bed.


Obviously the Police and Ambulance were all involved from this point, the guy didn't die or anything. Turns out that G had a couple of court appearances due back in Newcastle, previous sexual assault convictions, and there was no record of him attending any classes at the Uni in Scotland i.e. he was a fucking nutter, albeit a fairly reserved, poilte fucking nutter. Naturally, he got put away for it, and my mate D thought that it might be best to get his own place. (I'm assuming that his flatmates gave up their motor-bashing antics as well)

Length? You should have seen the size of the fucking kitchen knife...
(Last Night a DJ Shaved My Wife, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 12:18, Reply)

Pants
I used to share a flat with what could only be described as a bunny boiling airhead opposite our local pub. Every night she would bring a different guy home in the vain hope that one of them would actually want to take her out on a date after they had done the deed with her. Tired of these guys wearing her bedroom carpet out, she decided to take revenge on one of the pissed conquests who had accidentally left his undies in her bed. So one morning she asked if I'd like to take a walk into town to which I agreed - she armed with a carrier bag and some scissors - I asked no questions as she always had been a bit odd. In the centre of town she took a clothes hanger out of the bag gripping a tired looking snail-trailed pair of keks and proceeded to hang them upon a gateway. Hanging from said boxers was the following note:
"I have lost my owner. Please return me to [insert name of poor bloke]".
Next week through the pub grapevine I heard that his Auntie had found them and taken them home for him. Poor bastard - that was way too far.
(NJ, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 11:50, Reply)

the last time i saw the bedsh1tter
which was about a month ago, i was hammered, off my face and wanted to prove i am way more spectacular in the sack than his dullard nazi of a new girlfriend. or i was just out of it and horny, there's truth in both of them.

so i -

you know what, i can't put that! but trust me, it went waaaaaaaaaay too far.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 11:20, Reply)

The last word...
Two mates of mine share a flat and would regularly go out on the town to drink and try to pull. This has become and ongoing competition to try and be a bit of a git to one another.

Now Paul was a teacher... well a PE teacher so kind of a teacher eh! This was a fact he thought would impress the ladies immensely.

Paul spent the night chatting up one lovely lady, buying the drinks etc. Meanwhile Glenn was waiting for the right opportunity.

Come the end of the night and Paul is just about to leave the nightclub with his new lady when Glenn bowls up to them and says:
"Hi, hey he didn't tell you he's a teacher did he!?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Nah! He's a milkman!!!!" and bursts out laughing...

Without a word she was off and Paul was out of luck...

Playing jokes on your mates is fun, but stopping your mate getting a good shag with a gorgeous lady just for a laugh, that's going too far!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 11:19, Reply)

I have but two talents...
...Sleeping and shouting.

The other day I was sitting watching the TV when two chav kids banged on my window and ran away. Brandishing my sword I wrenched open the patio door and bellowed down the street:

"IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU"

I was kinda hoping they'd bring their fugly chav big brothers back so I could've administered a proper beating to all concerned but sadly they took me at my word.

At that point I'd realised I'd gone too far.
(misteroz, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 11:16, Reply)

Mullets
Jazzwing - Mullets are just too far.....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 11:01, Reply)

Flagpole Purgatory
With a glut of construction sites in my home town, our local sport was to nick the corporate flags from outside the show-rooms.

This became a bit of a cause-célèbre in the local media: Harmless fun vs. Wanton vandalism - nobody had worked out who was doing it, but assorted companies were getting fairly hacked off.

Cue evolution to flagpoles without rope and pulleys etc. or removal of flags and replacement with signposts.

In the ensuing flag drought, one of the few remaining target flags to be harvested was at a local independent car dealer.

This is when it all got a bit much.

One of our number decided that he'd have those flags, by whatever means necessary.

With no rope and pulley, this involved sawing down the flagpoles with his swiss-army knife.

The result was slightly more devastation than planned: Namely a 12m wooden pole (nigh on a telegraph pole) slamming down across the bonnets of five cars, smashing the windscreens, and generally making a rather large mess of at least two panels and bonnet of each.

Feeling tremendous guilt, we moved on to removing cats-eyes from the A1 after that.

Length/girth/cleanliness etc.
(jangle, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 10:47, Reply)

Cops and Robbers Pub Crawl
I remember back in the day, well 4 weeks ago, when I was a wee fresher I was "cajoled" into going on a cops and robbers pub crawl. The attraction of which was to be handcuffed/gaffer taped to a senior female rower. The night started out very well indeed, I was taped to two rowers both of who had generous attributes. Needless to say after about two pubs I was getting on to the off my face stage, life was hard being controlled by two buxom rowers. Anyway the suggestion was made to go back to one of the girls houses, I pretty much thought that the world could not get any better, unfortunately the only thing I had there was 4 glasses of white wine and some tequila.

We then went off to join the pub crawl again, by now I was borderline smashed. What really tipped it over the edge was a quad-vod and coke.

By now I felt I had a bit of a rapport with the two girls so I was pretty cocky. So in my infinite wisdom, I turn to one of the girls and said "To be honest I fuck the shit out you because your buff but I would forget you the day after". The two girls precede to storm off, we had cut ourselves lose at her house before. So I wander around a bit then get accosted, by what looked liked someone over 7ft, and was told that I should have said that. I then preceded to shit my pants and scarper very quick.
(I don't lie I change the truth o.O, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 10:26, Reply)

Getting shit faced .. oh well, boys will be boys
Repeated streaking at the local petrol station .. harmless fun, still makes me giggle many years later

Turning over the municipal christmas tree .. sort of needless but no permanent harm done

But when one of my mates chopped down a random tree in a random garden down the street .. I still feel bad about that one. I feel sorry for the family that had to wake up to that.
(spinoza, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 9:51, Reply)