If you haven't met that many b3tans
what would you think they'd look like?

Before I started going to bashes, I figured they'd look something like this

www.worth1000.com/contest.asp?contest_id=23246&display=photoshop
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 20:40, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a bit of a mess, actually.
This afternoon, the social workers came and talked to daughter. She told them she'd like to go back and live with her mum, who's patched things up with her ex. I've known for the past seven weeks that this could happen. I know from past experience things *will* go tits-up for her mum again but I'll bite the bullet and let daughter go back, as that's what she wants.

I'm not... surprised, as such. But hell, I'm disappointed.

It's been bloody awesome having her around. Is trying to make your kid happy supposed to be this hard?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 20:38, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would like to retract a statement I made on an earlier thread today that I was lonely.
Turns out it was just wind.






Thank you.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 20:18, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

People who state having a shit childhood as a reason to act like a cock should be shot.
At some point you have to accept that whatever happened and it didn't kill you. Going round acting like a martyr isn't going to change it, so why not man the fuck up and act like a human instead of a fucking twat?

Discuss.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 19:11, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This has always bugged me.
In English interpretations of tonality, wouldn't it be logical for the key with no sharps or flats to be the first, instead of, for some impenetrable reason, the third? It would make more sense for what we call C to be A and the whole goddamn affair start from THERE. The french have got it slightly better, in that their tonality starts on C, but they call it fucking weird names, do re mi etc.

This struck me while listening to Jim Noir's "Key Of C", which I haven't listened to in ages. Which then, as a more general question, leads to this:

What was the last song you listened to that brought up genuine strong emotion? I listened to a couple of songs that I hadn't heard in ages (Sigur Rós' "Untitiled IV" from () and "Map of Your Head") that reminded me of another time and place. Are they songs that make you happy, sad, angry, horny?

Or if you don't want to answer either of those questions, would you rather be a peach or a strawberry?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 18:56, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

they did say damage of £600,000 this morning right?
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/8080315.stm
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:22, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Once upon a time
The continued adventures of Princess Becky of Letters.
(in replies)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 17:14, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The sun is trying to come back out
the question at hand is, do I:

a) go for a swim in the sea. apparently it got up to 18 degrees C yesterday afternoon
b) go for a swim in the pool
c) give my garden a damned good forking
d) other - make suggestions

edited because Kaol is a gigantic moron
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:36, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Someone buy me one please
news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8070000/8070972.stm
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 16:24, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you find thunderstorms erotic or scary or just meh?
which b3tan would you like to be stuck in a thunderstorm with?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 15:39, 82 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

b3tabet
I'll update each refresh. You can't put yourself forward.

See replies for the current disarray.
( Captain V, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:53, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There's a storm a-coming
I can feel it in my bone.

What sixth senses do you all have, or would like to have?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 14:28, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woe is me.
Tell me why you're unhappier than I am and thus cheer me up.
EDIT: You losers rock!
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:38, 355 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What ho, internet chums!
I am back from my hols.

What hilarity/memes/rows have I missed?

When I was last round there here parts, Honda Accords were all the rage. THAT'S HOW OLD-SKOOL I AM, YA HEAR?

*rolls up one trouser leg*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 13:09, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would like to apologise profusely
for my incessant baiting of The Grammar Badger and frequent allusions as to the size of her genitalia.

I would like to make it clear that I have nothing but the utmost respect for TGB, who is a wonderful person, and I would be devastated if I thought for one minute that she was taking anything I said seriously.

She's also got dead nice boobies.

EDIT: No, fuck it, if she doesn't have the good grace to accept an apology she can go and jam it up her snatch, and still have room for a few shopping trolleys.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:34, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In response to SLVA's sleep paralysis post
Ever experienced anything like this before?

Imagine, if you will, waking up, and all you can see are tones. No colour. And then suddenly realising that you're actually seeing the insides of your eyelids, and you can't even open them. And then, I realised that I couldn't move. Not one bit, at all. I couldn't even twitch a toe.

Normally, I would have been fine with this, but for one small, very insignificant problem. I felt there was a presence in the room with me. And I don't mean a ghost, or a spirit (they're not spirits per se, they're more like a recording, repeating over and over). This was... something else. And it was coming towards me. This, for those who haven't made the mental leap yet, is something you DO NOT WANT when you're paralysed.

My fight or flight response was going completely batshit insane, only I was unable to either of these things. I was pinned there, like a chair glued to a wall with no more nails. And then, I had a sense of what this thing was. Utterly evil. Positively demonic, in fact. All I could "see" were the hands. Grey, wizened hands, cracked with age, or evil, I didn't know which. There weren't any nails either. There were claws, filed to rough points.

And this pair of hands was coming towards me, pinned on the bed. They may have been connected to something else, or not. My mind wasn't exactly up to thinking about this at the time. So, to sum up, I was pinned on the bed with some kind of grey demon hands coming at me. Slowly. As though they were enjoying the complete and utter fear and terror I was experiencing at the time. And then it occurred to me to mentally shout for help.

And then I saw, felt, and became aware of a light- the brightest I have ever seen, or will ever see. Brighter than the Sun. It was like the primordial light of the universe, come to my aid to burn whatever this... thing was that was coming towards me to ashes. My bonds were loosed, my muscles started working, and my eyes shot open, and thank fuck, it was over.

So it's no real surprise I have a real fear of sleep paralysis.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:31, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
In the blue corner, weighing in at 450lbs, we have Mongo the Gorilla.
Aaaaaaannnnnd in the red corner, weighing in at 500lbs, Mr. Fluffy the Black Bear.

Which two animals would you like to see fight each other for your own sick amusement, and what would you expect the outcome to be?
( Cawl, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 12:16, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One of the responses to a Vampreycat post mentioned how poorly americans do with Brittish accents
Are the specific local and regional accents in Great Britain disappearing? I know in the US a lot of the old local accents are pretty much gone or close to being gone with only the older folk still speaking in the local accent.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:57, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So while the QOTW has been rather lame recently, there are still some posters I always look out for
because they always have entertaining stories. Who are the people you look out for and why?

This is NOT a popularity contest, because if you actually met the person involved you'd want to puke down their throat and skewer their eyeballs for all of their QOTW LIES.

Mine are
Spankyhanky
himjim
Kaol
Pooflake
Rachelswipe
PJM
Chickenlady
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:23, 82 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cannabis
Just read of the 12.5 tonnes of the stuff seized and incinerated.

What a fucking waste. Is there no way this could be sold legally by the Government?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:03, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning Kaoltards
I had a lovely long sleep last night and have woken feeling pleasantly refreshed. All of my beer has mysteriously disappeared, so I reckon the cat drank it.

Question for this morning: If you had the option to sleep with the hottest person in the world, but you could never tell anyone, including your partner, would you do it?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:57, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Does anyone dream
that they've woke up, but can't move? I've had that dreamt a couple of times, usually when I've fallen asleep during the day on the sofa. It feels like I've woken up, I can hear the TV or the kids on the PS3 or whatever, but my eyes are shut, I can't speak or move. I try to move, thinking if I could just move my hand, I could wake up. But I can't, and I hope that someone will wake me up properly.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:26, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Speaking of dreams, (which would make a damn fine QOTW)
I once dreamt I was in an old warehouse, and I desperately needed a piss, so I crawled through a hole in a partition wall and relieved myself. But it woke me up and I found I'd wet the bed.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:05, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Question
I want to go to the cinema to see Drag Me to Hell. My mrs doesn't want to go. If I go along by myself of an afternoon after work does that make me a cool edgy film buff type who just loves films, or does it make me a kaoltarded sad loser with no friends?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:36, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Present suggestions
My friend's daughter is 2 tomorrow. I need suggestions for presents suitable for a 2-year-old girl.

They're not "pink, dolls, EZ-bake oven, dresses" type parents, so really it's "how complicated can a smart 2-year-old handle" as the driving force.

Any ideas?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:28, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Crop circle
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/8080315.stm

I want to shake the man who made this by the hand, but what do you guys think?
( DarkSon a time and date will follow this username on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:05, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ultra Realistic Dreams
Anyone else suffer from having dreams that seem so real, you sometimes have a hard time telling yourself that the events you saw in your dream didn't actually happen?

Woke up this morning with the right hump because I'd dreamt that Mrs.Coops had been having an affair....

Probably means I'm mental or something? ;-)
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 8:11, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just a quickie
How much could I expect to pay for registering one each of .org and .org.uk domain names and standard low-bandwidth web/email hosting for a year?

I've not got a quote yet... Just looking for a guide so I know I'm not getting ripped off when I do.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:57, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mwah ha ha!
I've done lots of revision. Becky's evil plan to make me revise worked. Although I do not know everything I need to, I at least understand it now and reckon with a liberal smearing of bullshit it'll be ok.

And I've been up since 5.30. I'm going to be loopy later on.

And I bought my dog boots yesterday (because he cut his pad and can't walk on it - and because they're cute)...

www.ruffwear.com/Barkn-Boots-Grip-Trex;jsessionid=0a010b421f430a1eea171dbf48be9ddeea1a29d3bffd.e3eSc38TaNqNe34Pa38Ta3aKch10?sc=2&category=11

Hope you are all planning fantabulous days and no longer smell of poo.

Al still smells of poo.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 7:22, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

chickenlady & PJM say hello from Wales
They are climbing Snowdon tomorrow and proper rock climbing on Thursday. Alas, today was too hot for them to do any hiking or biking so chickenlady had to resort to buying a pair of sandals and a pint of cider instead ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 0:17, 1 reply, 16 years ago)