Article of the day it seems
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gropecunt_Lane
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 1:45, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bands that shouldn't appear together
White Denim and Pissed Jeans
Sparks and AC/DC
Monster Magnet and Metallica

Any more?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 23:49, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yeah motherfuckers
I've got my new BIKE!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 21:50, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, after work tonight
I'm going to go shopping (under instruction from a certain b3tan).
Do I buy:
a) Clothes
b) Makeup
c) Vibrators and lube
d) Fishing gear
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 21:47, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Amateur Transplants
A song about masturbation: Well Man Clinic

It's the last few seconds that make this b3ta worthy.
( Captain V, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 21:21, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

damn it all, my pipe will not stay lit
advice?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 20:29, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright, bastards?
I have just been to the loo. You don't need to know the details, but when it came to wiping I noticed that her indoors has bought a certain brand of loo paper (that rhymes with 'Charming') that has imprints of bears on it. That put me right off, wiping myself on the face of a bear.

Otherwise, let the bickering, sniping and cuntery commence!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 19:52, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Grandma.
I know this has been covered before, but I couldn't trust the scamps at yahoo answers, I swear they're like talk talk and make things up on the spot....

Now big question - should it grammatically be - would have, or would of?

bugging the tit's off me the last few days...
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 19:34, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On Friday I get paid with my new, off-probation rate.
Next week I am off work. What do you recommend I spend money on?
( Maladicta, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 19:08, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Show and tell
Show me your pictures of interesting/exciting/dull, mundane shit that you've seen in the last week.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 18:49, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oystercard question
I made some enquiries this morning and apparently I can get a newfangled travelcard on my oyster to get to work each day to cover zones 1-3. My destination doesn't have working oyster machines though and wont be installing them until October - they're a bit backwards South of the river it seems - so will I be charged the extortionate fare each time I go to work?

Also, I only work 4 days a week - I know it's tough being me - but will need to go in on weekends sometimes, so the day I don't use, can I carry that over to the new week if that makes sense or do I lose it instead?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 18:31, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where all me playaz be @ yo' ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 17:49, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Late answers
Missed some good questions on here, so I thought it would be easier to answer them in one go, see reply etc.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 16:27, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"We're goin' ta bonnydoon.."
Whenever I'm going on a trip, I get this song in my head and sing it ad nauseum until m'ladyfriend tells me to shut up.

I'm going to Istanbul tomorrow.

Points if you can name the film the song comes from.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:48, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since I work in an office by myself
I don't bother closing the toilet door when having a wee, or a poo for that matter.

The other day I was heading home and I put my bag in the car and nipped back in for a wee, leaving the front door open. It only occurred to me part way through that it could have caused some embarrassment if someone were to come in only to be confronted by a large beard chap loudly urinating whilst humming and swaying his hips from side to side in an attempt to cover as much of the bowl as possible.

When have you last done something you should have thought better of?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:23, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The bestest Down's fluffeh evah!
In replies.

Edit: for truth.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:11, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My fact for the day:
Trained dolphins and sea lions can find submerged divers. Both can see, and hear direction of sound well underwater, and dolphins have natural sonar.
In 1970 to 1980 trained dolphins killed 2 Russian frogmen who were putting limpet mines on a USA cargo ship in Cam Ranh bay in Vietnam. After that, Russian frogmen were trained to fight back against trained dolphins, and in an incident on the coast of Nicaragua Russian frogmen killed trained anti-frogman dolphins.

What have you learned today?
( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 14:05, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

b3tards won't let me upload something :-(
anyone else having trouble or is it just me?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 12:36, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lets see...who's not online today?
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/5776354/Internet-stalker-tried-to-abduct-British-schoolgirl-in-France.html
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 12:10, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So the world's going to end in 24 hours
Time's ticking, what are you going to do? + points for extreme creativity

-points for YM
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:44, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Another one that started in Vipros' thread.
Tattoos.

What's your opinion on them? Do you have any/want any? If so, what are they?
What's the worst tattoo you've ever seen?

Mine in replies.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:42, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well then,
in honour of Vipros' thread down der below, what are we all reading at the moment?

Extra points for obscure highbrow propa litretur n stuff.

Minus points for Hairy Pooer.
(Land of Green Ginger It's dreamy weather, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 11:18, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Are we posting loads of stuff to get on
the 200th page?

What milestones have you reached recently?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:59, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One of my colleagues just said (while we were talking about the Harry Potter books)
"they're so well written"

I had to pause for a moment to consider my response. I managed to calm it down to "they're easy to read" but there were any number of replies that would have worked.

I enjoyed reading the books, but well written? pffft
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:37, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Holy shuddering fuck
What a cool job!

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6661666.ece
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:28, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've recently been thinking a lot
about how it would sound if Neil Diamond were to join Slayer on vocal duties while Messers King, Araya and Hanneman were all given acoustic guitars/basses to play and Mr Lombardo had one of his bass drums taken away and was told to slow the fuck down.

I think it would sound pretty cool.

Let me have your thoughts on which ageing crooner you think would be suitable to front your favourite band?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 10:25, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pop quiz, hotshot!
You're losing an argument. You know you're going to lose. Your reasoning is full of holes and your opponent seems to have all the right answers.

What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 9:53, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*GEEK REPORT*
The end of Micro$oft?

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8139711.stm

Discuss in not less than 15 words.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 9:50, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Derogatory phrases
What's the most derogatory phrase you've ever heard or read?

A misogynistic colleague of mine, without any irony, refers to women as 'cunt hosts'. Admittedly, it made me laugh through sheer offensiveness, but this is pretty high on my list.

Also, this is nasty too

Bonus points for offending as many people as possible.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 9:38, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just did something realy stupid
bit long so in the reply
( Peej, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 9:30, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)