Just leaving this here:

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 18:03, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Umm Bop, ba ba, doo bop, Sweebaduba Umm Bop, da da dooo, yea-ea-eh !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 16:15, 174 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's very quiet on here again
my computer is processing loads of terrain data, so I can't do any actual work at the moment.

what are you up to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 14:33, 204 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Skype
Does anyone here use Skype?
I have just signed up so I can talk to my friend in Malaysia and my auntie in South Africa, but cannot seem to find where the screen is that they show on the instructions for adding contacts, or where to make calls etc.

Do you have to sign up to a pay-as-you-go account or something?
I am only intending to make Skype-to-Skype which are free.

Anyone out there who can help? (Please)
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 13:51, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I GO AWAY FOR AN HOUR AND IT GETS ALL FUCKING EXCITING ON HERE.
YOU ALL HATE ME DON'T YOU?



*goes off to CR3 to moan about it*
( girlinthehole, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 13:31, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

:O
I've been away for a day or so and when I come back OT is like a fucking South American tele-novela! Woo.

I'm proud to say that the Apeface happily straddles the twin realms of cunts and kittens, but talks mainly to the cunts. Now I have a brilliant image of cunt and kitten straddling.

in other exciting news it took me about 2 mins to find the "post a reply "button 'cos it's changed. And I am leaving line breaks in my post to whip you all into a fury.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 12:45, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The time has come.
My old and trusty Isuzu Amigo has over 206K miles on it, and is getting to be what might be charitably referred to as "quirky". The time has come to put it out to pasture. (I'll hang onto it, as it's still running, but it will mostly rest in the corner of my driveway.)

I have managed to get about $5K together, and contacted my friend Richard to get him to shop for me. Within ten minutes he had a car for me to look at. An hour later I was test driving it, and he looked it over and pronounced it fit. As it only has 70K on it, I figure it should last a while. And as it's tiny, it should get great mileage.

Later today I'm going to go write a check and come home with a 1990 Mazda Miata, bright red with a black interior.

Booya.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 10 Nov 2009, 12:18, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey peeps
Since when did I turn into such an insufferable cunt? I used to be a nice guy.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 12:12, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just bought my wedding dress on ebay for £20 inc P&P.
Does this make me:
a) a pikey fucker?
b) thrifty, in these uncertain times of economic downturn?
c) the sort of person who can't wear posh clothes without feeling uncomfortable and spilling something on them like a clumsy tool?
d) all of the above?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 11:46, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Someone is bound to know this...
In Excel is there a way you can select a cell while writing a formula that will automatically add the $ to the cell reference?

as in =(A5*$E$1)

tried google and I can't find anything on there
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 10:11, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've got the Tuesday morning I want to go out and get pissed again but not on red wine blues
Someone cheer me up.

But please not psychochomp.
( girlinthehole, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 8:48, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The sight of all those grown men
buying a computer game at midnight is heartwarming isnt it?

Actually no, its a little bit sad isnt it? Seriously, whats the appeal and more importantly, how the fuck does anyone have time to do this shit? I sort of want to be one of those people but not to play silly games but basically be younger and have more time. My friend is 38 and is getting up to buy it this morning, and has booked off the week from work to play it, to the extent of sending his wife away. I said I'd pop round tomorrow to say hi and he suggested that he'd rather I didnt. Thats basically a mental disorder of somekind isnt it?
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 6:21, 60 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bringing back the fluff to OT
We just found that one of the outside cats had baby kittums, they're all black and adorable and about 4 weeks old!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 2:15, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This wine tastes like crap,
what else tastes like crap etc etc.`
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 22:48, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 19:30, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My tummy hurts
I'm running a fever and I've had the squits all afternoon.

Any helpful suggestions for dealing with a stomach bug?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 19:13, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pomegranates....
is the juice worth the squeeze?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 18:30, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oranges (satsumas, clementines and the like):
Capri Sun for people with too much fucking time on their hands.

Discuss
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 16:53, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Can someone enlighten me as to when it is acceptable to start a new thread on /talk?
I don't particularly want to at the moment, but I'd like to not get textually kicked in the nuts if the mood were to strike me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 16:22, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, I think 90nz0 is fucking great.
For a short-armed jewish chap with a dodgy arse, anyway.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 16:01, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morrisey get SPANGED, then flounces.
Pic in replies.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 15:48, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Photographic Evidence
Diaz to the left

Jolie to the right.

The urinal is the black grand piano-looking thing.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 14:00, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know this isn't /links
but they scare me so

dontclickthis.whatingods.name/i-fucking-love-this-stick.jpg

edit: well fuck me with a rhino, it is in the newsletter. Boy is my face red?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 12:21, 91 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Locals
Myself and Mrs joy decided to cut loose and head off to a Beautiful Place Out In The Country™ for the night, leaving the kids at home with a plentiful supply of Bourbon biscuits and hard-on tablets.

So we get to the hotel, room was a bit small, but serviceable, 4 poster bed and superb Loch views. So after a few libations and 'a wee lie down', we head to the bar/restaurant. We had already eaten, and took a pew at the bar, right up at the end of it, squashed right beside a bit that wasn't being used. We faced each other and fell to drinking some lovely red wine. After a while some session musicians set up their stuff and 'live music' cover versions were soon upon us. Some dreadful crooning woman and a throaty 'blues' type guy. It was all very vanilla, and if that is the kind of entertainment that people accept when they 'grow up', then i want to be a teenager all my life thanks.

Anyway, after a bit, this denim jacketed local inbred starts squeezing in at my back, constantly reaching for his can of fucking diet coke that he is using to mix his cheap brand vodka with. Anytime I lean forward to whisper a sweet nothing into my good lady's ear, his arm shoots across, where my back should be, so when i want to lean back, his be-denimed stump is there, like a rude safety barrier. I don't even look across at him, i just lean back, through his arm and ignore his presence, but by fuck does he want a space at this bar, not just ANY space, but exactly where I am. Eventually the strong red wine and bison vodka's take their toll and we decide to head out for a spliff, a loch side walk and then up to the room. As i walk out i say to the cunt, 'there's yer space back', he calls me a wanker, which I didn't hear because of the dull, loud music, but as the missus is at my back, she hears him and gives him the finger, right in his inbred face. He mumbles and shuffles like the cock watcher he is. We laugh and walk out, by the time we get out into the corridor, he has already commandeered the vacated space, looking like a denimed up chimp who has just regained the top branch.

Still, in morning, we had a brilliant breakfast that was made all the better by, not one, but TWO excellent croissants. The second one i cut open, buttered and fired a sausage in. It was like a smug hot dog.

So, has anyone else encountered bad vibes from unfriendly locals?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 12:13, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There are a couple of girls in my office
who are reasonable looking, quite a laugh etc. but they really really can't walk in heels. It amuses the hell out of me to see these otherwise nice girls stomping up and down the office.

Better to wear a lower heel and be able to walk with a small amount of grace than to have an inch or so extra height surely?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:43, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been to /board to see my new friends but no-one is in.
If you like I can put in a good word for all of you but I can't promise anything.
( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:27, 91 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So Gordon Brown can't spell?
Big fucking news! In other news I burned my hand on a hot cup of tea. You think the Sun would print that?

Yesterday I had some fantastic sex. Whether thats a QOTW lie or by some crazy twist of fate actually true, tell me what you did to waste away your Sunday.
( Peej, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:09, 85 replies, latest was 16 years ago)