I'm the same age now as
Direct Line and Eastenders.

This upsets me as they are both shite. I also was forced to drink Sambucca on Saturday as as a result threw up on a smartcar on the way home.

What have you thrown up on recently?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 9:52, 62 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I broke my ankle.
Too late for the hospitals QOTW, unfortunately. It happened Saturday night about 11:30 while I was trying to fix my daughter's car, which was at her mother's house.

I now have a cast to just below the knee, a prescription for pain meds and a persistent cat who insists that my computer does not belong in the bed on my lap.

Anyone else had an accident lately?
( Wanderer, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 8:12, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I dreamt I went out on the lash with Boss Keloid
and woke up the next morning in a university hall of residence / shared flat thing, albeit a very posh one. I was doing the tiptoeing around a strange place trying to make tea and toast but the hosts aren't up yet when he appeared, handed me a banana and said, "You're going to need the minerals."

I think I might have Bash Fever.

Dreamt about any B3tans lately?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 22 Mar 2010, 6:45, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Anyone have a weekend of win?
Or just a weekend?

I threw a 180 with 3 darts on Saturday afternoon. That was a first.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 21:33, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Has there ever been a footballer who has played for England internationally
While playing their league football in the second-tier (i.e. not in the Premiership or Division 1)?
( applehead herp derp, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 14:29, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

it is impossible to truly judge the genius of John Williams
until one is awoken on a Sunday morning by the sound of his 'Imperial March' being played by a 4-year old on a kazoo.
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 14:24, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, the English Defence League, interesting bunch
static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/3/21/1269171402776/Members-of-The-English-De-003.jpg

But why is this bloke waving a Welsh flag?
(Bazongaloid, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 13:09, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Honda Accord=Busted :-)
Schadenfreude/Karma/Irony thing.
Just dropped 2ndmrsblaireau off at work and took the scenic route home on account of it being a fairly pleasant morning.
Coming along a 50mph contra-flow, speed camera signs everywhere.
Passed by a brand-new shiny black Honda Accord doing at least 85mph.
Saw him get flashed then slam on the anchors.
A bit late there mr international car of justice.
Made me smile.

What ironic karma thing has made you smile lately?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 21 Mar 2010, 9:25, Reply)

I'm drunk
Is anyone else?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Mar 2010, 1:38, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all
I've been at a recording studio today, it was been good, up until the point that our singers voice went fucked up. We recorded the 4 main tunes we set out to do, and a couple of other bonus ones which is nice.

Back tomorrow for potentially more songs, and a bit of mixing.

What have you been up to? Other than offering JMG the respect he rightfully deserves.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 17:29, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd like to apologise as well for being incredibly popular.
Feel free to mirror my apology.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sat 20 Mar 2010, 15:24, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Arggghhhhhhhhh!
Arghhhhhhhhhh! internet.
Arghhhhhhhhhh! computers.
Arghhhhhhhhhh! don't ask.


I haz no internet at home for a while : (
( girlinthehole, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 14:50, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Are any b3tans into pen-and-paper role-playing games
and want to give feedback on a supplement I'm writing? It's largely based on my online game.

If so please gaz me or reply to this message.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 14:42, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

i just landed a job as media designer for a major high street skate clothing brand
and i'm feeling so smug i even want to slap myself!

what should i assault my liver with first tonight, a nice scrumpy, jack daniels, something in a small plasic bag, or should i jus cunt myself in the fuck for being so damn chipper on a saturday mornin?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 12:36, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Deceitful internet people.
I've been reading this site for a while now but have yet to post anything. I have a small woe, which I'd like to get the opinions of you lovely people.

So brief history, I'm a guy and I started talking to this girl off a different message board. She was nice, we got on well and she then asked to meet as we lived in the same city and she had tickets booked for a show. I agreed but then a week before, she started ignoring me for no reason. She deleted her account off the the message board, didn't reply to my email/text and I didn't hear from her at all. On the supposed day of the show, I know this sounds crazy, but I even called up the venue and found no tickets were booked under her name in the first place.

Why would someone lie like that? Did she honestly think she'd get away with it and I'd never find out the true extent of the lie? I know we never met but it doesn't give her the right to screw me about. Have you guys ever been in a similar situation? Closure please.
(tld, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 10:49, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's my B3taday!
My 20th birthday was a fortnight ago and was fairly shit as no fucker turned up to it - so what should I do today to make up for it?

(P.S. It's 2.16 am here and I'm pissed, so I probably won't read any replies until at least 12 noon).
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 20 Mar 2010, 2:17, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is this the place to come to to complain about not getting a mention in the newsletter despite qinning QOTW?
I'm OUTRAGED*





*about how much they're charging for petrol near me.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 17:54, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Quick weekend thread
I'm seeing my fbff tonight to tell her that she's aces and drink beer

Tomorrow I'm going to a party at my bff's and his sexy wife's house to drink beer

What are you lot up to?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 17:14, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Did anyone see
Family Guy last night. What an ear worm that track is............
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 17:06, Reply)

Johnny Cash is awesome
So why the fuck don't I own any of his fine musical stylings?!

Is there a best of? Or any recommendations from anyone?
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Mar 2010, 17:05, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd like to be the first to apologise for upsetting you.
I am sorry that I upset you all.
I hope we can all be the best of friends now.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 15:42, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yum.
My afternoon has just picked up, someone has brought in Gu chocolate brownies and I am stuffing mine into my face as I type with one hand. This has got me thinking about indulgences. What is your sneaky food-related indulgence that you just have to have when others aren’t around to tell you how many calories it contains?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 15:31, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Black Cloud.
My little girl's mother has just cancelled both this weekend AND next week's visits just like that. I didn't see her last weekend either because I was ill.

I want to cry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:27, 119 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What does a motherfucker need to do to pacify a bitch?
My favourite quote at the moment.

So what are you doing to pacify your bitch at the moment?
(Bitch in this instance being non gender specific)

I'm keeping vewy quiet and not moving awound much.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 19 Mar 2010, 13:13, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going on holiday for a couple of weeks in a few weeks time
and I suspect I may need to take a lot of books with me.

Anyone know where I can buy books cheap online? I've tried the amazon market place stuff and it still works out at about £4 per book.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:49, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

NEWS FLASH!
In an announcement today, regular internet forum contributor and self confessed shirter, Monty Boyce (43), today admitted a sneaking love for the works of David Bowie (nee Jones) as long as they were performed by exceedingly loud heavy metaller bands.

In a recent exchange (http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post667747), Mr Boyce was heard to comment that he would particularly like to hear a speeded up version of Space Oddity, as that was one of his favourites from when he was a child. "I used to sit in an old tin bath and pretend to be an astronaut in a space capsule when it came on the wireless", Mr Boyce told us. "And when the bleepy bit came on at the end, I would touch myself. I didn't know why at the time, but of course I realise now that I was subconsciously trying to get the space laser to work".

Mr Boyce's friends on the internet have vowed to rally round him in support, particularly since his admission that he'd love to hear the works of Keane performed by Hawkwind.

"It's a long road ahead, but we'll get him through it", one member of popular on-line chatroom B-three-ta said. "Either that, or we'll just get him completely off his tits and hope that he forgets all about it. Would you like to hug a kitten?" At this point, your roving reporter made his excuses and left.

Mr Boyce is 52 and still lives with his mother.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:39, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

School Trip
Right you lot.

Saturday 27th November, Brixton Academy - Motorhead 35th Anniversary show. We're all going.

I'll need letters of permission from your parents, and NO FUCKING EXCUSES WILL BE TOLERATED. Bollocks like honeymoons, major surgery etc. will not be deemed valid get-outs.

The only person excused is AA, because he'll be blubbing at home to the sounds of Keane that night.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:53, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

To copy Mictoboy's thread from yesterday
Guess who's got a new job too!

After a frankly gruelling and demoralising 295 day search I got a job offer this morning.

Now where did I put that 15 year old Glenlivet miniature I've been saving for this?

Oooh, need a question, What excellent news has made you happy today?
(bill, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:42, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's been a little while since I've done a food-blog post, so I'll indulge and plug myself.
blog.90nz0.com/2010/03/19/beef-and-stout-pie/

If anyone here is stuck for something to make for the weekend, I can really recommend this, it's one of the best things I've cooked. Granted, it'll take all afternoon, but you'll have your mates or family some very very very happy people.

What are YOU cooking this weekend?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 10:50, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)