B3ta Babel Fish
or "Cor, Cop A Load Of Those Colloquialisms"

In which Cave Duck cordially invites you to post a sentence or two, or a phrase which would be immediately understood where you're from (or now live)but may be unfamiliar to the majority.

B3ta acepoints will be awarded to those able to offer decipher and/or pinpoint geographical origin of any such sentences.

First up.
"Our Gemma's all moangy coz I chowed at 'er for twagging."
(Cave Duck, Wed 12 May 2010, 13:20, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How can people be so dim...
... and manage day to day life. Picture the situation, a contract, a not small sum of money, and a client not knowing the difference between site and sight. (payment to be complete upon sight inspection - not goods on site).

Do I ask too much?

On another note, what's for lunch?
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 12 May 2010, 12:12, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tune of the day:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jmIYyskDM8

What are you hep-cats jiving to at the moment?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 May 2010, 10:37, 173 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Drunken shopping/huge wastes of money
In about 3 weeks I will get my Saxon documentary DVD.
1) It cost nearly £30
2) At the time I paid for it the fucking film wasn't even finished
3) I don't really like Saxon

This is the stupidest drunken purchase I have made to date (discounting ill-advised drug scores at the end of a night on the sauce). My brother reminded me this morning of his own worst purchase: a replica Chinese warrior's helmet for 49p on Ebay - postage £50. It was really, really, shit. He kept it on a shelf next to his computer as a cautionary warning to himself against future idiocy, until my mother bought it from him for £35 for the Winchester College drama wardrobe - out of pity, I suspect.

Top that, suckaz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 May 2010, 9:24, 127 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Morning! Good Moooooorning!
We've talked the whole night through,
Good Morning Good Morning to you!

Slept well? I'll be out most of today (lunch with the girls) so amuse yourselves. Play nice.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 12 May 2010, 7:22, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You knowledgeable internet types...
Can anyone recommend a video hosting site that isn't Youtube?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 11 May 2010, 21:54, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Rather quiet this evening
or is everyone just too shy to start a new thread?

I went for a swim earlier, then cooked turkey kofta korma, which was nice.

Now I'm listening to Sparks vs Faith No More - This town ain't big enough for the both of us

what are you up to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 11 May 2010, 20:35, 125 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

James G. Brown
Sky reporting that he's stepped down as PM.
(JohntheDane, Tue 11 May 2010, 16:36, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

PsychoChomp said he fucked your mum and she is fat and you are a virgin.
And he hopes you die of SickRiks.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 11 May 2010, 16:29, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Food thread!
What exciting and tasty treats are you having this evening? I'm looking for some inspiration before I say fuck it and go to the pub for a burger and a pint. Also, can someone host a 125k PDF for me for a few days please? Cheers gonz.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 11 May 2010, 16:23, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm desperate to get a new tattoo but I'm waiting till I'm in a happy place and then it will be a reminder of good times.
What body art or objects do you have that remind you of good times?
( girlinthehole, Tue 11 May 2010, 15:24, 126 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It doesn't make sense.
My bf's ex has decided, after 13 months since she moved, that tonight she's going to the house and pick up her things. She has made clear that I can't be in the house while she's there, from 6.30 untill she fancies.

It was her who left him, and left him well broken, and I was there to pick the pieces and make him happy again (without thinking about going out with him, just as a friend)

She used to be ok with me before, now she (and most of their common girl-friends) hates me.

I don't care too much, I just ignore her these days, but, what is out there that you don't understand?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 11 May 2010, 13:12, 227 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I saw Example last night
No slightly geeky Fulham supporter has any right to hold a crowd in the palm of his hand so easily.

What has gobsmacked you lately?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 11 May 2010, 12:12, 57 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right that's enough poetry for one day

I once stayed in a motor park North of Brisbane for a few days, it was weird and full of very "local" people. The day after we left our next door neighbour hacked up his mother with an axe...tell me about your close calls with death.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 11 May 2010, 11:08, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gooooood Morning B-3-T-A!!!
There was a bored DJ named TrialPrice
Who found that he only had one vice.
He followed young Roota
By using his 'Puter
Cyber-Stalking is really quite nice.

As you were.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 11 May 2010, 7:15, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

True Blood season 3 starts in about a month
*squeals in excitement*

What are you excited for?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 10 May 2010, 18:18, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Note new sig.
Sorry.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 10 May 2010, 17:00, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Plans to make a million.
I'm going to steal one of Crow's "BUMDER ALERT" posts before he copyrights them.
Then I'll get someone to read it like Holly from Red Dwarf and record it.
Then I'll turn it into a ringtone and sell it for loads of money.
I think I have at least one buyer already.
Minted.

Outrageous money-making plans anyone?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 10 May 2010, 16:23, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Win!
Sat at the airport bar, just checked my boarding pass and my confirmation number is POIDH!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 10 May 2010, 16:03, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I must be geting bored already.
Just had a cold call who asked to speak to the homeowner.
I asked why and the girl got really shirty and said "Well I WAS calling on behalf of Blurble Urble company (can't remember) but in that case I won't bother!"

WTF? Anyone else had any strange cold-calls recently?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 10 May 2010, 15:59, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

There are so many crap films on the cinema right now...
I can't understand they haven't done Ender's Game yet.

On the other hand, if they did, it'd probably be shit and I would be very upset at them for not following the story word by word.

So, which film do you think Hollywood is missing?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 10 May 2010, 14:37, 233 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

After nearly a year of being full of holes,
I am finally able to wear the most beautiful jeans in the world again. I have them on right now. It's wonderful. I've also just got home from my last lecture for about four months. Yeaaah.

What's your favourite item of clothing, past or present? Or indeed, future?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 10 May 2010, 13:45, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've grown fingernails.
Those of you that know me will realise this is quite an achievement as I'm a habitual nail biter.

What have you achieved recently that you're pleased about.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 10 May 2010, 11:55, 163 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I changed my name yesterday because I was watching Godzilla and I like pretending I'm a fucking massive dinosaur trashing downtown New York.
What do you like pretending to be? Like being part of a dynamic and popular forum?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 10 May 2010, 9:54, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning!
Last night I found out that the guy who dumped me over a year ago because he was scared of starting another relationship with someone due to his past crappy relationships and wanted to be alone for a while, is now engaged to someone else.

I feel like the world has been playing a big joke on me and this is the punchline.

I don't want pandering fellow B3tans, I want answers.
( girlinthehole, Mon 10 May 2010, 7:47, 109 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thank you.
You lot are just waking up, but thank you for the gazzes I got. And especially NoHands :)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 10 May 2010, 4:52, Reply)

It's Mothers Day, and I'm home alone watching chick flicks and going through pics and dvd's of mum.
There's nobody at the pub, I'm staying away from the boyfriend and his daughter for the day for obvious reasons and all my friends are doing stuff with their moms.

So I shall sit here and cry into a bottle of vodka and eat chocolate.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 9 May 2010, 20:10, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sunday Sunday, Afternoon Funday.
What you up to then?

Wife is finishing up some marking then we might go for a drive somewhere, if the rain keeps off.
If not we'll have a cup of tea and some cake.

The high life indeed.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 9 May 2010, 12:38, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey Pricks!
Creating a thread where you can make up which rank in the army you are.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 9 May 2010, 4:21, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)