Word replacement game
Was chatting to the missus over the weekend and decided to change blank a word out and use the word cuddle (what?)

What songs have we got that would benefit from the world cuddle in it's title?

GNR - Cuddle City?
AC/DC - Come on Feel the cuddlez?

*Edit* On KAOL's advice I've gone to use the word wanker

Any others?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 15:20, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sorry to nick ideas, but...
Which is better? Monkeys or Pinball?


(GONEism, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:25, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

IT
our company's IT is dealt with by Siemens

I say dealt with, but really I mean mismanaged and cocked up.

Despite having all weekend to conduct their "maintenance" our network has only just started working again.

they fucking suck
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:13, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know it's bindun, but hooray for inappropriate censorship!
I have a **** that my four children will one day **** in a **** where they will not be judged by the color of their **** but by the content of their ****. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the **** of **** and ****, will be transformed into a situation where little black **** and **** girls will be able to **** hands with little **** boys and **** girls and wa*k together as sisters and brothers.

Come forth ye all, with your inadvertent filth.
(GONEism, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:39, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mastermind
Me and my housemate were watching Mastermind the other day, when he posed the question "What would be your specialist subject?"

For me, it's a couple....
The Redwall Series
Or
The Battle Of Stalingrad

How about you lot?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:57, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The results are in..
..and it looks unanimous:

clicky
(lost, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:50, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Probably a bit early
But who wants what for Christmas?
(GONEism, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:12, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

strictly come dancing
i dont watch it but on radio four and radio scotland this morning they had features discussing whether john sargeant's continued sucess on the show is making a mockery of the competition .

WTF ?
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 10:45, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello
Have some daily thread action!

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 8:30, 320 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Monday Poll
Click the season you love and register your vote.






Any ideas for future polls?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 7:40, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cake isn't always pretty.
Saw this oh-so-scary entry about Dalek cakes gone awry and natrually thought of our very own dear Davros. So, enjoy the link...
cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/10/guest-blogger-great-white-snark.html

I'm now hungry and must seek out sugary food.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:02, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

how'd you find b3ta?
There've gotta be some fun stories. Mental coworkers; random drunken websurfing; being a stalker of the ginger fuhrer. How'd you first find this moral cesspool called b3ta?
Who wants to go first? Oooh, how about me? I'm getting all misty-eyed just thinking of the historical significance of the moment.

I actually was using it quite legitimately for work research purposes. Stop sniggering, it's true. I work as a copy editor (you brits'd call it a sub editor) in the sports department of a newspaper. A few years ago, a story moved about Chelsea fans being banned from bringing celery into their grounds because of an ``obscene song'' that ended with celery being thrown on the field. The taunting bastards who wrote the story, of course, didn't see fit to include the lyrics. In the interests of journalistic integrity, I googled ``chelsea fans celery song.'' one of the very first pages i found was the QOTW about hated foods. the song?
``Celery, celery.
If she don't come, I'll tickle 'er bum
wiv a lump of celery.''
god bless you b3ta.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 20:14, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Insensitive bastard or just hungry?
Was I wrong to order suckling pig for dinner in front of someone who's still nursing her child? Not my fault the *little fekker was roasted with lovely root vegetables and had a sauce made from a good dark bavarian doppelbock. oh well.

p.s. the pig, not the baby. i'm not THAT much of a bastard.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 19:58, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sunday, Sunday, looks good to me.





Good morning!

I'm trapped in this house with my poorly toe, so what does any self-respecting women do in this situation?


Internet shopping!
( girlinthehole, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 11:02, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I woke up at 6AM this morning with a hangover
My cure: a large bowl of spaghetti carbonara, a glass of orange juice and listening to the Excitebike theme tune on repeat for an hour (!).
Somehow I feel like the happiest person alive now.

Intro music to be found here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=543dG0EWcYM

Memories!
(St. Dymphna, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 8:15, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

*sigh*
I'm going to go nocturnal! I'm going to go nocturnal!

Reason being?
No more school and full time night shifts at the restaurant where I work.

LOTS OF FUN!!!

No seriously - I love my job. I get bored on nights where I don't have to work now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 16 Nov 2008, 7:46, Reply)

Are there people awake in QOTW at this hour?
I really must remember to spend more time here. Everyone seems so lovely.
( the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 7:08, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I am in Wetherspoons
at 10AM one of the days last week (Thursday maybe, I can't remember) and I am standing at the bar having ordered a breakfast when a 40-50 year old man comes up to me with a pint in his hand.

"You know what's wrong with you young kids today?"

(I'm 23, while not exactly middle aged, I'm not that young)

Well I turned to the man and gave what I thought was a response that would send him on his way

"I'm not going to be lectured about what is wrong with my generation when I work five days a week to support myself through university and pay taxes so that work shy gits like you can do nothing but get ratted in the pub at 10AM"

He didn't even break stride

"The problem with the young kids today, is that they think they fucking know everything!"


You win this round old man.
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 1:33, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

vodka
Apart from as a means to an end, why do people drink vodka? It doesn't taste of anything. My mate went to Russia last year and brought me back a bottle of Stolichnaya. It was exceptionally smooth for vodka and had no roughness to it at all.

How can one enjoy a drink if the only quality it has is its intoxication qualities.

Yes, it can be used as a base or a mixer or whatever, but on its own? Water is cheaper and has the same lack of taste, and there is every other alcohol beverage out there that actually tastes of something if you want to get trousered.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 20:31, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

fantastic...
im reading on wiki about Hitlers Beer Hall Putsch (his first failed coup d'état to seize power in germany)

he held a beer hall full of 3000 germans at gunpoint and surrounded them with 600 stormtroopers

couple of things - i think the article might have possibly been written by my mum...

'During this time, speeches were held in the main hall by Göring, amongst others, obtaining a temporary calm, whilst no one was allowed to leave, not even to go to the toilet'.

not even to go to the toilet! well holding people at gunpoint and trying to subvert democracy is one thing but not allowing people to go for a tinkle - no wonder the man was not well liked! sounds like a trouble maker to me!

but then i got to thinking - the man was a genius albeit an evil one. were talking 3,000 pissed up germans here who've all been necking enormous vats of pilsner - what better way to bend someones will. those poor bastards must have been thinking

ah! ve have ze two options

vun! agree to abandon all democratic process (by a vote i would presume) and become a fascist dictatorship

two! vee vee in ze ledderhosen!


!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 18:55, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

well bugger me

you learn something new everyday as they say

how often have you heard someone complain "phew its hot - i'm sweating like a pig"

unlikely - pigs cant sweat as they have no sweat glands!

no its not a link to i love ponies...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 17:27, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shifting the spot update
You lot will hopefully be happy to hear that I managed to calm the big red nasty thing at the side of my gob down and make myself look beautiful last night.

The date went very well, and I'm seeing her again tonight.

Result huh?
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 16:44, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Saturday. So fucking what?
But at least there are kittums.

And coffee.


(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 9:08, 59 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Max Payne - A review by Kaol
I don't want to ruin it too much, so read the first reply for my review.
( Cawl, Sat 15 Nov 2008, 2:30, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm aware that the current fiscal climate is a bit poo.
All of you who have savings, I am sorry.


But can I just give a big Woo and Yay to tracker morgages. *grin*
( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 19:54, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening all
Come hither and rest ye weary masses, and tell me tales of your busy Friday.


(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 18:32, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Halp!
I want to cook dinner for my boyfriend tonight, but have the following problems with cooking:
I'm shit
He's picky

Can any of you chefs out there help me with something simple but impressive? It must have meat in it, he refuses to eat anything that might be accused of being vegetarian. Also, no curries, cream sauces or tomatoes. See? Picky!!

I'll resist the urget to make a rubbish pun about cordon bleurgh.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:44, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here ya go.
For those of you who work in some sort of service industry, this is for you.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:30, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who can take a sunshine,
Sprinkle it with dew, cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two?
(GONEism, Fri 14 Nov 2008, 16:12, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)