Well I don't know about you but I've never set fire to an item of clothing or played bingo, but I reckon doing both at once could be pretty exhilarating.
How do you get your kicks?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:39, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I drink to excess, that keeps me entertained.
Although I found something this morning that made me snigger a bit - Extremely immature.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:45, Reply)

People who read toplad are topcunts.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Blame AB, he linked me there.
But I'm sure he did it 'ironically'.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I don't understand how someone so pitifully poor can get so constantly pissed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Mainly by having no long term goals or ambitions

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:53, Reply)

And living North of the Watford gap.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Is that where I'm going wrong?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Yes Noel
Also I feel you're not really making the most of having a daughter, you need to claim benifits for everything. Make her walk with a limp for some extra booze money.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Give her a shit load of speed then take her to the GP's
instant ADHD diagnosis.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:06, Reply)

It's a vicious cycle, I become poor, due to getting constantly pissed
Although I've massively cut down on how much I used to drink.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:54, Reply)

ve m a ly n down on how much I used to drink
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Well, that too.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Turn your life around by pitching a new "reality TV" series to BBC3
"AA goes to AA"
It can't be any worse than all those mawkish programs about the morbidly obese.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I think I'd rather kill myself, and I'm sure others will agree.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

A bloke on Jermy Kyle just now asked his girlfriend to sniff his fingers 'cus he got so drunk he didn't know how far he went with another women last night.
Top Lad
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:11, Reply)

The site does make me fear for humanity.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Burngo.
The amount fingers you now have! Number Three!
The amount of time it took to put you out! Number Twenty!
The amount of sympathy dates you're going to get looking like that! Number Five!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:50, Reply)

The numbers could be engraved onto big ball bearings
which're heated up to glowing orange by blowtorches.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Which are then fired in to the elderly audience?
Survival of the fittest and all that.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:56, Reply)

We should make a game show
Where you get a whole bunch of epileptics, herd them into various dangerous situations (alligator-filled swamps, for example) and flash strobes in their faces. We can call it 'Survival of the Fitters'.
Can you make someone epileptic? If so, I'm happy to skip straight to the celebrity edition of the show.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Various brain traumas can cause it.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I like your thinking here berk, nice work.
Anyone who comes out with inverted numerical burns to the face gets a special prize: skin grafts.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Niki Lauda's ears? Number 1.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Adding this to a document quality review:
There's something about the phrase

"The tables below identify the test cases to be created, identified by the test case identifier."

that makes me want to kill you with an axe.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:56, Reply)

you make me want to kill you with an axe

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Your mum wants me to kill you with an axe

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:07, Reply)

That explains her axe wound...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:10, Reply)

I've just read something on the BBC that makes me want to kill everyone, with an axe
"In a tweet in January 2010 the player made public his displeasure at being dropped by then Reds boss Rafael Benitez in a tweet in January 2010"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:07, Reply)

ouch
there should be a series of increasingly draconian punishments for crimes against the English language.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I suggest an Iron Maiden.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:13, Reply)

it would give us all some piece* of mind


(*this is a topical joke, not a mistake)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I'm not sure an Iron Maiden album from the early '80s could currently be considered
"topical" , old chap.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:26, Reply)

silence!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I buy stuff I don't really need.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:59, Reply)

ooooo, ^ this ^
definitely this.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I can tell you where I get them if that helps?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I buy mine from Ikea, they cost little less but you have to assemble them yourself

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:00, Reply)

is that directly stolen from Chandler?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I've stolen it from somewhere
I couldn't remember where, but that sounds familiar yeah
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I think it is.
they are talking about getting their jollies.

alright?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Yeah not too bad. Apart from injuring myself (by accident I'm not turning AA here)
more or less every day. Todays injury: burning my finger with my hair straighteners :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Oi!
You can fuck right off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:10, Reply)

nasty
but at least you aren't turning into AA.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:20, Reply)

I seem to keep dropping things
Seriously, can't keep hold of anything. And I walk into stuff all the time. It's like I don't know where my arms and legs are.

I may have some serious dyspraxia. Or I may be a clumsy bitch.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

encouraging woodland animals to fight to the death.
that, and booze, and dangerous sports.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Computer games and furious masturbation
I've had a kind of pins and needles numbness in half of my right hand (pinky and ring finger, plus the 'blade' of the hand) for the last few days, making each wank a 'half-stranger' or 'passing acquaintance'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Could be a repetitive strain
cut down on the computer use.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:14, Reply)

But not the wanking.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Don't be crazy!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:20, Reply)

What Chompo says.
Alternatively, I pulled a tendon in my left hand a few months ago. Persistant numbness and pins and needles in my little finger and the facing half of my ring finger. It's only now starting to fade.

Internet diagnoses, making people paranoid since 1994.
( Kroney, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:28, Reply)

It's obviously cancer of the hand
your powers have backfired
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Shit, I did punch my hand in a threatening manner last week

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)

it was inevitable.
with great power comes great responsibility. you abused yours and now you will pay.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I wonder if you can get little AT-AT costumes for Jack Russells?
That'd be awesome.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:22, Reply)

one of my mates and his friend went to a fancy dress costume as a pantomime horse style AT-AT
I'll see if he still has photos
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I might start an animal fancy-dress party business, sounds like fun.
Tuxes for budgies, can-can outfits for cats, that kind of shit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:27, Reply)

This would only encourage more zoophilia

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I'll put your name down for the Afghan Hound Tina Turner outfit shall I?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I'd have Jeff baying at my door if you did.
Will your range include stuff for chickens?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

At the moment, just little chef's hats and strips of streaky bacon.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:39, Reply)

And little foil capes too, I suspect.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Ooooh, sequins!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Big Daddy costumes for Christmas Turkeys.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:45, Reply)

The World's Most Pedestrian Dangerwank
I set my alarm clock to switch on Radio 4, then try to finish before Thought for the Day comes on and puts me right off my stroke before flying into an impotent rage at the sanctimonious, holier-than-thou twat who's been invited on there to talk shit in a sanctimonious and holier-than-thou fashion.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:24, Reply)

is it dangerous because the rage is likely to make you rip your knob off?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:28, Reply)

That, or helicopter the clock-radio in anger.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:37, Reply)

You know, in a way,
slowly wanking in bed in the morning is really a little bit like the teachings of Jesus? Because, essentially it's good, but there is a strong moral undercurrent tinged with guilt, and then you have to wash the sheets.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Plus if you think about Jesus when you're coming, it's like a little salty prayer.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:31, Reply)

and, at the end, you offer your cum to the sheets
In much the same way as Jesus offered his life so that we might all be saved.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I think I shall become a catholic.
Then I could think of Mary.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Would.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I like this.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Or the Advanced Version
Try it on a Sunday, when not only is there the nagging thought that maybe you should be in church, rather than masturbating your life away, but also there's a very real danger of coinciding with The Archers Omnibus.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

try to get one in during the Shipping Forecast
for that surreal race-wank experience
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Nah! You'll go all floppy when it gets to Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:44, Reply)

that's just part of the challenge

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I'll try it tomorrow morning.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:45, Reply)

"the nagging thought that maybe you should be in church"
I feel like I don't know you anymore.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:01, Reply)

i've played bingo once
we were too embarrassed to yell HOUSE so someone else took our money. all £60 of it. also we discovered that old people take their bingo very very seriously.

i wouldn't exactly say i got my kicks out of bingo, though. random selection of kicks include: biting into chocolate that has been in the fridge, smelling cheshire air after weeks in london, really putting my foot down in my car, rollercoasters, having my hair done, head massages, opening a new fizzy icy cold diet coke, having both nieces and nephew on my lap all at once, and the scent of lovely aftershave right in that magic bit of a guy between neck and shoulder.

anything but the 15 page report i am drafting, basically.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:46, Reply)

man, you're easily pleased

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:48, Reply)

i'm not sure if this is sarcasm or not.
i am genuinely frowning with confusion here, and that causes wrinkles. so tell me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:49, Reply)

I'm not sure myself.
I don't think it was sarcasm because there is a long list, and some of the stuff is pretty simple.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:52, Reply)

i'm a pretty simple person
and in no way a high-maintenance spoiled bitch
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:53, Reply)

that is supported by everything I have ever seen you post

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:54, Reply)

now THAT'S sarcasm
lowest form of wit.

i thought of you this morning, actually. saw a butchers van with VIPROS' QUALITY MEATS on it. [insert your surname instead of VIPROS] anyway, it made me think about you and the quality of your meat.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:57, Reply)

indeed ;-)
I was all set to be surprised about it saying Vipros. My real surname is more common than Vipros. I know there is a coffee company, in addition to the two or three places and the castle.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:59, Reply)

i was all set to be surprised by your vulgarity
about the quality of your meat. wrongfooted again.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 10:59, Reply)

it speaks for itself
figuratively of course.

how are you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I'm now kinda imagining your penis as being like a chestburster
But with an impressive goatee and talking in a West Country accent.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:06, Reply)

why would my penis talk with a West Country accent
when I don't?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Because you're from down that way, innit
And I know you don't. I don't know how to describe your accent.
If it helps, I can change it to having a monocle and top hat, and be saying "Good day to you".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

that would be more acceptable
hold on, you can change it?

are you paint-mashing it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

No I am not
Might do later though.
I still have a choice one of BGB to do, but can't quite get the face blended in properly due to lack of a decent profile shot. Also having to use GIMP as I want to do some blurring effects, and it's not exactly intuitive.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)

and that is less weird than The Picture how?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Y'know, I've kinda lost touch with what's weird or not

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:20, Reply)

you need a chart

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Or a spreadsheet maybe
Or medication.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

i am now imagining you
imagining his penis. you should be very very ashamed.

i was great until i read the above..... now i feel slightly soiled and as if my sparkling purity of mind and soul has been besmirched.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

You love it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

god
anyone would think i was some sort of cockhound
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)

I heard cockhounds refer to you in hushed tones?
For fear they would summon you...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)

i'm not actually sure what one is
but it sounded like someone who might be able to sniff out cock in a convent
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I bet you could do that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

yeah.......
i am not going to deny that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

What do you call a cock in a convent?
Pope Benedict.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I like the phrase cockhound
and shall use it forthwith
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:16, Reply)

i can't claim the credit for it
but i will do anyway.

ta!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I'm afraid it's part of a /talk meme.
So be careful out there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:25, Reply)

*heeds warning*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I use the internet, I'm incredibly interesting
on the other hand I enjoy cooking, smoking, playing and listening to music and being a general dick.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Morning Lampers!
How are you today? Essay finished?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Yup, and handed in.
I hurt a bit today, but I'm not too bad. Bloody exercising.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Ye and me both
I cycled in, against the wind. My fancy Runkeeper Pro app said it was 1.68 miles with a steep incline halfway (that I felt every inch of), and that I burned off a grand total of 68 calories.
Life isn't fair.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I know, 25 mins on a crosstrainer will only be 250 for me as I'm lazy and can't run.
I'm not looking forward to tonight. Fitness class. Called Body Blitz.
I may not be alive tomorrow.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:21, Reply)

But 68 calories for 10 minutes fast cycling?! How's that fair?!!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Calories are twice as easy to amass than to get rid off.

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Proof there is no benevolent God

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:30, Reply)

?
and also
?

What's that supposed to mean, BGB?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Its the sort of thing fat people say to feel better about being fat.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)

That's enough energy to heat 68kg of water 1C
Perfectly enough for 10 mins work.

Assuming you're talking Kcal.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Yes I am

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Or it's 284 512 joules if that makes you feel better.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

there is nothing worse
than reading the calorie content in something and seeing the kj by mistake. especially if you've already eaten it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

But then you look at the real stuff and feel a lot better.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

not always
she says, bitterly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

the worst thing is the arm cycle
because i have quite feeble scrawny arms, and it is absolutely knackering. 10 mins on that beastly thing last night was far more exhausting than 25 mins on the crosstrainer or 40 mins on the treadmill....... for a lousy 60 calories. it sucks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Arm cycle?
What's one of them?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

exactly what it sounds like
you sit in front of it and cycle with your arms. it hurts like a little bitch!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I've never seen anyone do this
It seems torturous and silly looking.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:42, Reply)

it's v good for arms and shoulders
but it hurts. it doesn't look like a bike, btw.

if i were clever enough, i'd link you a pic - someone help????
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

It's alright, I can use Google :)
I'm doing press-ups and arm dips to help build some upper body strength, and also a few reps with weights.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:46, Reply)

try a cardio-boxing routine with dumbells
fucking hell, that puts on upper body bulk fast.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:48, Reply)

As in, shadow boxing while holding weights?
Yeah, I might need to take some weights off my dumbells before trying that one.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

yeah, basically, but you want to get a training routine from somewhere though.
Like, a boxercise class or something. You don't want heavy dumbells, no - you can't move your hands fast enough. I use 5kg I think.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I'll look into that, cheers
I've already got the boxer's skipping rope, which has lead to comedy and near tragedy...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

It's not :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I'm not sure how you can ascribe the human concept of fairness
to a combination of Newton's second law and principles of work and kinetic energy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

this is why noone ever wants to sleep with scientists

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Denial is a river in Egypt, sweetie.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

this should not have made me laugh
bad badger
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:45, Reply)

haha. would it have been better or worse if I'd have done the swaying finger-clicking thing?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:50, Reply)

much much worse

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

you love it.


disclaimer: You may not, at all, love it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 12:14, Reply)

I suppose if a man needs 2000 calories a day to stay the same
And I'm now having less than that, then an extra minus 68 calories is only going to help with losing weight.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I've been to the gym more this past week than I have since the beginning of the year.
*hurts*
( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I've packed mine in
Bought a weights bench and going running instead. £45 a month better off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Is runkeeper any good for cycling?
does it calibrate with how fast you are going vs energy expenditure and such like?

and nothing can compensate for wind resistance, and that can easily quadruple the energy you use on a bike if you're going at a decent speed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

It has a cycle function
It'll track distance vs time, and includes elevation (so can then work out speed and energy expenditure), and plots it all on a map for you. It's free on the app store for January, and seems to work well.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

OK, that's not quite what I meant
if you cycle the route at, say, 10mph and again at 20mph does it record 4 times as much energy burnt? I wasn't sure running apps bothered factoring the wind resistance squared thing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I don't know, only started using it yesterday :/
I'm certain it won't factor in wind resistance though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

sorry, I'm being a tool
I meant 8 times as much energy. KE goes with velocity^2, so travelling twice as fast requires 4 times as much energy just for the speed, and then wind resistance is related to v^2 as well, so it's probably close to 8 times as much energy to actually cycle twice as fast. Test it out!
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I'll see how it goes
I'm starting to record all my trips, and as I get fitter I'll be able to cycle faster.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

On route 66.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:16, Reply)

that was what I was getting at with my post
no one bit though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Too subtle.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:25, Reply)

It's well shit now
I drove a load of it a few years ago. Nearly got killed in at least two shitty hick towns.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Laughing at innapropriate things
like the name of the chap in this article.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I'd say he should be called BadWillie now
being a "bit rapey" and all that
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Do you think it's Jeff?
In some kind of footballing disguise?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

She may well have been a dog, so maybe
Having been to Dundee I can attest to this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Down with Nominative Determinism!
Careful now.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

By playing rugby
I got kicked in the face and the leg
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Insulting some ninjas usually works

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 11:44, Reply)