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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So other than your ability to inseminate, or be inseminated which are, after all, basic human functions
which basic human function are you most proud of? My lungs are pretty fucking wonderful, and some foods give me the most comically explosive arse I've yet to hear beaten.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:50, 221 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Apey needs to ask himself this...
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/is-your-baby-foreign?-201107144075/
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:52, Reply)
My friend instigated a policy at the weekend that from now on
whenever I burp I am to dramatically point at my wife and say the word "burp" whilst burping and then carry on as normal.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:53, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:54, Reply)
I burped in the presence of your boyfriend last weekend

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:56, Reply)
Regular or fanny?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:58, Reply)
Is fanny boyfriend what you call your wife?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:16, Reply)
Hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:28, Reply)
I have good legs
If you like the hairy/muscular/would go well under a Kilt look.

Everything else is not so good.
Sadly my scotch genetics have also make me allergic to heat and sunshine which sucks.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:53, Reply)
I like my ability to walk a hundred metres then complain

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:54, Reply)
You didn't complain much at the weekend.
Mind you, we were feeding you Jaeger.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:59, Reply)
I sat down on the muddy ground
because my feet hurt. I reckon the Jaeger probably helped though. Nice to meet your friends by the way
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:04, Reply)
I'm impressed by hands and their ability to do stuff
I like to watch them when I play the guitar, particularly when it seems like they are doing it of their own accord.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:54, Reply)
Corr is that the same with wanking?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:57, Reply)
it is when your cock is strung like mine

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:58, Reply)
I wink pretty good.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:55, Reply)
Typo?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:00, Reply)
I thought I had good lungs
but I had a medical at work and apparently I have a 'lung age' of 45 :(

I have good hearing, though, apparently.

Oh and hypermobility turns out not to be a good thing
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:57, Reply)
My basic functions are rubbish
but my more complex talents are amazing.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:58, Reply)
The Dewey Decimal system helps you to slice the carvery turkey better.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:59, Reply)
We use Library of Congress, Al.
It's a bugger.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:29, Reply)
I can bite my toenails

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 15:59, Reply)
I could put my palms flat on the floor while keeping my legs straight by the end of last summer.
Not gonna happen now.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:00, Reply)
I can bite other peoples' toenails
that's how I collect restraining orders
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:00, Reply)
can you put your legs behind your head?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)
No not quite.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)
then I'm better than you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Yes dear.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:04, Reply)
My Hair
small mercies and all that but most of the folks I know of a similar age are going grey or bald yet all I have is a little tinge at the temples.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Yeah, thanks for reminding me of my sterility Noel.
Fucking nice one.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)
I could lend you some if you wanted?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)
Lol jk.
I could inseminate if I wanted to, I just don't want to.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Still, you know where I am if you need me.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)
peering through the window wanking?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:05, Reply)
Exactly this.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:06, Reply)
I would have thought fucking a nice one would have helped.... or something like that. I donno. I'm not sure of much these days.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:04, Reply)
I bought a sexy new hat today*


*not sure it's sexy
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:02, Reply)
is it another trilby?
or a cunning hat?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)
kind of trilby shaped
but straw and dark red
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:04, Reply)
this sounds suspiciously chavvy to me
I think I shall need pictures in order to change my mind.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:06, Reply)
chavvy? really?
arse.

I ain't taking no pictures of me, you'll just have to imagine
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:07, Reply)
The hat fool
I know what you look like, just link me to a pic of it on the Primark website.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:09, Reply)
is it this?
www.matalan.co.uk/pws/images/catalogue/products/s2456245c333/prod/s2456245c333_1.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:10, Reply)
no, this
www.tie-rack.co.uk/ladies/hats/t0294000101dn00u00

only not that colour
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:10, Reply)
I would totally finger you if I met you wearing that.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:12, Reply)
yes!
sexy hat!
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Only if your aim is to get fingered by fat bald geordies

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:14, Reply)
gotta start somewhere

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:17, Reply)
You should have higher standards Cap'n

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:18, Reply)
Hmmm, borderline
I preferred the one I found, the distressed brim on that one is not really my bag, but then it's not my hat.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:13, Reply)
mines
a nicer colour
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:14, Reply)
I was factoring that in
because the colour in that pic is gash.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:17, Reply)
and don't forget the fact that hats always look ace on me

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:18, Reply)
I've only even seen you in one hat
I'd need more data to come to a conclusion, but I know I look awesome in hats.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:20, Reply)
there is a knack to wearing hats
I totally rocked the mortar board look the other week. I didn't need no stinkin hair grips to keep mine on
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:21, Reply)
I can believe it.
I bet you made the gown work for you too.

god this afternoon is dragging, only Gogol Bordello is getting me through, may have to bunk off early.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I didn't want to give it back
start wearing purple, wearing purple! My friend claimed this was a song that reminded him of me, once. I'm not going to analyse that.

I'm just avoiding doing useful things. This could last until August
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:27, Reply)
I'd rather be at home
I could be ironing and tidying my bedroom right now which would be both more useful and more fun.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:29, Reply)
I don't cope well with holidays
I need to start doing something constructive, so far I've moved a bookcase into the kitchen and filled the lounge floor with books and boxes.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I'm hoping to make myself actually have a week off this year
this will be my first summer holiday in years. /sad.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:31, Reply)
you going to go somewhere?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Probably just visit a couple of family/friends
nothing special or expensive but should be nice to have the break.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:34, Reply)
wait?
ironing? who the hell irons?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:31, Reply)
People with a collection of Awesome Shirts
that they wish to look awesome in.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Me.
I have done a phenomenal amount of it this week.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:36, Reply)
you guys are weird
ironing is only useful as a last resort to make textiles projects look less shit
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:36, Reply)
I did without an iron for 2 years
and I bought it just because this one shirt really needed an iron so I never wore it. Since I got it though all my shirts are suddenly more wrinkled and creased. it's a conspiracy or something.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:38, Reply)
ironing your hair doesn't count.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:36, Reply)
Are hats sexy?
Looking at the royal wedding and horse racing events over the past few months, I'd say not.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:04, Reply)
I'm hoping so
I suspect not on me
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:05, Reply)
hats are not sexy
but they're pretty
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:09, Reply)
Like me!

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:10, Reply)
of course dear

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:15, Reply)
fedora is teh sex

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:16, Reply)
I can roll my shoulders in a bit of a headfuck way
Although it's not actually that difficult, it's just fun to see the looks on faces.

My lungs are shit though, stupid asthma.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:11, Reply)
You know those bottles where you bite the end and tug on it and it opens up a hole for you to drink, and you can push it back in to close the hole....
.... I wish I had the copywrite on that.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Bashing out da beats and rythym innit.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:14, Reply)
i wrote you a mother fucking rap verse yesterday
you didn't even acknowlege it OR EVEN THANK ME, YOU TWAT
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:15, Reply)
oh shit, I haven't seen it yet. I'll look now!
cool your jets!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:19, Reply)
no cooling of the jets, sir

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:24, Reply)
IT WAS VERY GOOD THANKS

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:25, Reply)
mmhmm, yeah, okay, whatever

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:26, Reply)
my hair is alright
my roommate can burp like a mother fucking champ, despite her being a tiny little thing
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:14, Reply)
AA just reminded me
My shoulders are cool too, as I can dislocate them at will, which is more fun than is sounds and good for grossing people out.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:16, Reply)
I have fantastic teeth.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:21, Reply)
all the better to eat you with, my dear

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:23, Reply)
I'm trying to find the innuendo in there so I have something to toss off to later.
But I'm struggling.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:24, Reply)
She wants to ride your red hood.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:32, Reply)
nice work
chompy. I was working on something about 'wolfing it down' but it just wasn't working
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:34, Reply)
apparently me an DJ do too.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Mine are completely natural, too.
Save for the two operations and braces from the ages of seventeen to nineteen.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:55, Reply)
I can spray milk into a small child's eye.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Any small child, or predominantly your own small child's?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Currently my own.
I haven't had the chance to take my skillz on the road yet.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:36, Reply)
you should have a travelling show

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:37, Reply)
And when I do that I get arrested!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:35, Reply)
The world is a cruel and unforgiving place

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:38, Reply)
What I don't get, when a girl is knocked up, strangers feel the right to go up to them, pat them on the tummy and say "Congratulaitons, well done".
Not _once_ has a stranger cupped my balls and said the same thing to me.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:39, Reply)
How many women have you knocked up?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)
I bet he's knocked quite a few off...
the wrist.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)
how incredibly frightening

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:37, Reply)
Are you confusing your husband with a small child again?

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:37, Reply)
I can tape all of your buns together

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:39, Reply)
I can put on lipstick without using my hands.

(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)
you got it!
I have internet validation! *celebrates*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)
No? No one?
It's totally a film quote, and I'm not even into film!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)
nope
can't help you there
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)
it's from one of the very few films I could probably recite,

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)
oh man I love this game
"I can't hit a girl, they're soft"
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Did I mention I'm not into film?
You beat me, K. I give up on that one. Is it from a film? TV show? NDubz track?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Scott Pilgrim Vs the World

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:51, Reply)
That's far too modern for me to have seen.
Though it reminds me, I picked up Watchmen at the weekend. I have to watch it soon to see if it's as good as the book.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)
I thought it was great

but I have never read the graphic novel
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)
I loved the book.
I also loved the film of V for Vendetta, though I imagine I lost a lot of the nuances by not reading the book.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)
I read the graphic novel a couple of days before seeing the film
it stands up well. They changed the end but the end they use is pretty good

Only downside to the film is the guy whose name escapes me. The one who is supposed to be the smartest man in the world. You only know in the film becaues he says so. Also he's a wimpy tosser.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Ozmandias?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:59, Reply)
that's the one

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:59, Reply)
SPVTW was AWESOME I have no idea why I love it so much, also, Watchmen was awesome too
and I'm not into super hero movies at all
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:55, Reply)
I fucking love that film
also: I watched Superbad for the first time the other day. It was entertaining.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)
I can't remember much about it, I was drunk when I watched it
there's another movie that McLovin' is in that I can't remember the name of with Paul Rudd and Stiffler, it was pretty awesome
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Role Models
That's a funny film
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:01, Reply)
yeah and acts as a shorthand for explaining larp
"it's like in role models, only less crap"
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:02, Reply)
I watched role models the other day
It was total shit but I laughed all the way through.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:15, Reply)
I found it to be rather funny.
Especially the policemen.
(I helped save b3ta! Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:57, Reply)
yeah, they were good
it was a good film. Not quite what I expected, but much better than it could've been.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Have you read SPVTW?
Its great
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:16, Reply)
breakfastclublols

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:44, Reply)
hurrah!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)
I has taste in filums me.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)
the A Perfect Circle of John Lennon's Imagine is much better than the original
suck on that world.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Now, I know what all of those words mean
but in that particular order they make absolutely no sense to me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:49, Reply)
A Perfect Circle are a band
they have done a cover of Imagine by John Lennon. The cover is much better.

I then told the world to suck on it
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Considering that John Lennon was a cunt
I can well believe your judgement.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)
*youtubes*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)
not bad

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Not as good as the Imagine a Jump mash up

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:04, Reply)
I have amazing control over my tongue
Consequently I am very good at making the ladies orgasm. Unfortunately the control over it doesn't extend to me being able to shut the fuck up.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)
I noticed that

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Are you sure this wife swap is definitely off?
In other news, I may get round to your CD at some point soon.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:04, Reply)
you're getting post soon

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:05, Reply)
oooooo!
*excites*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:07, Reply)
The moment she dumps me and takes the house and the kids leaving me homeless i'll be banging on your door don't worry

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)
Excellent.
Just give me enough notice to have a tidy round and get the old man out of teh house.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:12, Reply)
put some arsenic in his fryup
that'll do the trick
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:28, Reply)
that implies I actually cook for him...

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)
smear it in the frying-pan

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:31, Reply)
if you put blue food colouring
in your house-mates frying pan, he won't notice until he gets blue bacon
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)
I'm not one to stir up trouble, as you all know... *cough*
but did a thread disappear?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:11, Reply)
I didn't see one
what was in it? Was it juicy gossip?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:12, Reply)
I don't remember anything bad being in it.... *frowns*
It was between mine this morning and Apey's this afternoon. I'm sure there was.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:13, Reply)
Was it Al's?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:16, Reply)
That was it.
I didn't want to start bandying names about, in case I was wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:17, Reply)
I didn't see anything that bad in it
but I stopped reading it about an hour ago
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:26, Reply)
oh, yes
it started with something like "I'm bored of hearing about B3th's problems" or something similar, can't remember what it was actually about or who started it mind.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:16, Reply)
maybe it was because it mentioned AA and Rory?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:16, Reply)
WHAT A FUCKING BALD QUEER

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)
I'M DISGUSTED. WHERE'S THE BACKBONE AROUND HERE?

These cunts wouldn't have lasted ten seconds at Rorke's Drift.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:44, Reply)
ZULUS!!!!!
Fucking hundreds of them!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:47, Reply)
Contrary to popular believe Michael Cain was actually dead posh in that film.
and convincingly so, it may be the only time he ever actually acted.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:49, Reply)
Thanks Holmes, it's almost as if nobody else has viewed a standard staple film

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:50, Reply)
Rory!
Delighted to see you dear boy the afternoon was just dragging by without you, I'm so glad you could make it. Can I get you a muffin?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:52, Reply)
Oh fucking hell another internet japester doling out fucking world wide web tea and cunting muffins from their disc drive

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:55, Reply)
I love you Rory
Please love me back, it would mean so fucking much to me.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:58, Reply)
START A HOME SWEET HOME THREAD FOR ALL I CARE
JUST DON@T DELETE IT LIKE OUR FOLLICALLY CHALLENGED RESIDENT GAYLORD OR L@LL PISS ON YOUR SHOES AND MAKE YOU SHAKE MY PISSY HAND, AND GIVE YOU A DIRTY SANCHEZ FOR GOOD MEASURE
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 18:00, Reply)
I may ride a bicycle
But I am still significantly less gay that al, or for that matter HSH threads, thank fuck for their demise.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 18:02, Reply)
I do like that film.
The Men of Harlech bit send shivers up my spine. And I'm not even welsh.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:51, Reply)
Me too.
although my lefty liberal credentials say I really shouldn't, see also Top Gear.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:53, Reply)
guess what?
I've never seen it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:53, Reply)
of course you fucking haven't

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:54, Reply)
it's like
I've missed out huge chunks of modern culture
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:55, Reply)
But you live in Wales!
I thought it would be a requirement.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:57, Reply)
TV here is just
full of programs about how much people love wales. At least that's how I remember it
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:58, Reply)
Yup
it come of being Welsh, see?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:57, Reply)
*snarls*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:58, Reply)

snarl +bleat

too easy
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:59, Reply)
Functions: I can sneeze at impressive and unsettling volume, and have also been known to spontaneously erupt in a nosebleed big enough to drown a small child
However, since half the people on here have mistaken 'function' for 'feature' I shall follow suit and say my hair: even though it's been mutilated to an acceptable-for-a-job-interview-length, I'm still proud of it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:24, Reply)
It looked like you'd been in some kind of epic fight
at the bash
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)
It was a mite embarrassing, to say the least
Particularly since I hadn't had one in months - possibly even a couple of years.

Worse still, it recurred last week, just as I really had to leave for work, resulting in my having to walk in with a wad of tissue surreptitiously stuffed up on nostril, and my head angled slightly downward in the hope nobody would notice.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:35, Reply)
you need to start making up good stories to explain them

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)
What, better than
"I just blew my nose a bit too hard, and suddenly the bathroom looked like the opening scene from Carrie"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:39, Reply)
'It's fine, I just have an enormous bathtub speed habit'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:41, Reply)
"It's fine, my manpon just fell out"

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:43, Reply)
"A small child urgently needed a blood transfusion,
so I jabbed the hollowed-out casing of a biro into their arm, then punched myself in the face and dangled my nose over the other end."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:48, Reply)
'It's fine, I'm one of those spasticated goth pseudo-vampire wankers - I just spilt my lunch'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:49, Reply)
Right up my own nose?
That would be an impressive degree of spastication, admittedly...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:54, Reply)
perhaps you were hanging upside down
like a bat
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:56, Reply)
"I met Darth in person. 'Eye-wateringly camp' doesn't even begin to cover it. 'Nose-bleedingly bent,' on the other hand..."

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:56, Reply)
I'm not particularly proud of my basic human functions.

What a strange man you are.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:40, Reply)
You have exceptionally tough nasal lining?

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:44, Reply)
Whilst this is undoubtedly true, it's not really a source of pride for me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:45, Reply)
Perhaps it should be
I found my outlook in life improved no end if I took pride in the smaller things in life. (Like my genitalia.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 14 Jul 2011, 17:52, Reply)

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