Unusual things you hate.
I hate the entire customer service culture. If I go to a restaurant, I don't go to have a great customer service experience, I go to have a good time with my friends. The waiting staff, as far as I'm concerned, should be as invisible as humanly possible. I can't stand it when they get intrusive with questions as to whether everything's OK, trying to engage me in small talk etc.

Similarly, in shops, if I want some help I'll fucking ask for it. I don't want to be approached every five minutes to be asked if I'm OK.

I went to America a few years back and, because of this dislike of mine, I had a thoroughly unenjoyable time.

What do you dislike that other people find strange?

Monty, I shall assume that your answer to this is "everything".
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:22, 252 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Pakistanis.


This is a joke. Some of my best friends etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Kashmiri-lolz

( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I don't like loud noise.
Or going out most of the time.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Guy Fawkes night must be a trial.
That's one of my favourite nights of the year, you weirdo.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:28, Reply)

He gets locked
in the coal shed with the dog
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Your & You're
There, Their and They're

Anytime the wrong one gets used, it drives me up the wall. Alright, I know I'm not alone in this on here, but it just seems to happen everywhere else!

Also, people not tidying up after themselves in fast food places. 99% of them are set out so no matter which way you walk, you will pass a bin on your way out. So what's so difficult about putting your rubbish in the fucking bin, rather than leaving it all over the table, and on the floor?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:28, Reply)

it bugs me that so many people spell 'definitely' wrong
especially because the spell check usually changes it to 'defiantly'. The amount of times I've seen that in student work...grrrr
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:31, Reply)

That's one word I always have to double check when I write it, just in case.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)

The point is, you check it!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I have no idea how to do strikethroughs on here.
But if I did I'd leave it so your second paragraph just said "Also, fast food places". Every fast food joint in the world is fucking vile.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:31, Reply)

<s> at the start, </s> at the end

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:32, Reply)

You are wrong.
An XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger meal is magnificent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)

here we go again...
magnificent... really?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Fuck off Chompy.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

You have confirmed yourself to the world as a fat mess.
As soon as I finish eating anything like that self loathing kicks in, and then it feels like grease is sweating out my face.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

He may have done yes but you have confirmed yourself as a petty criminal
and therefore all these riots are your fault.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

There's nothing petty about beating the system and retiring whilst you're ahead.
*relaxes on balcony of Tuscany villa made out of Tesco meal deals*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

A fat mess who is losing weight, yes.
Also - www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1313544
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I ate one of those after seeing Rage Against the Machine
I thought I was going to die for about 3 hours afterwards
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Some of those independent burrito places can be OK.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)

yeah, and Greggs
heheheheh
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I heard they do great authentic Cornish pasties.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

This is entirely true
they are excellent bakers
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

And I hear you fucking love bowie

( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

From my time as a waiter I learnt
that people don't want you to chat to them, just to answer the questions, waitresses on the other hand are expected to tell customers their life stories, flirt and joke.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:30, Reply)

For some reason I find the idea of you as a waiter hilarious.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I was 18, and it was a very posh place, I think it had a Michellin star, but I don't know where to look that up.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

www.viamichelin.co.uk/web/Restaurants
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:36, Reply)

It's not got one anymore.
Dunno if you can check historical things
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Ahh, not a clue, sorry.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

michelin tyre, more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

He's exactly the sort of waiter I'd want.
Looking at me disparagingly down his nose as he mentally reminds himself that he'll only have to be doing this until he gets through university.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Same here.
I want dinner, not a friend, you oleaginous gallic wankstain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I am never letting you eat in my restaurant.

( wanderlust, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Does anyone know a reputable euphemism-ometer repair man?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I'm going to leave now.

( wanderlust, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I'd want all my waiters to be like the maitre d' in The Blue Brothers
Mr. Fabulous I believe
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Over-use of HDR
on photos. Always done by people who think they know about photography, but really just own an SLR and think good photos are the ones with the highest contrast
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:32, Reply)

A self-loading rifle?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I wish
and they can point it at themselves. They are ruining my favourite artform
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Karaoke?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Bukkake?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

exactly!
it's a subtle and beautiful thing, you dont' just splash it about
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Like this?
youarenotaphotographer.com/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I love that site
one of the lessons I did at the end of term was basically getting the 5 students who turned up to be snarky about it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

HDR's a fun effect, I think
You're right though, it's really overused and usually by people who want you to say that they're a great photographer when, really, they just know how to use Photoshop.

I'm much more impressed by people who can use the actual camera to produce effects, rather than editing software.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

they don't even know how to use photoshop properly
photoshop is a proper skill, too, they just hit a couple of buttons they think will work
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I'm just far more impressed by people
with practical, mechanical ability. Probably because it's where my own modest ability lies. I'm nothing if not self-involved.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

you should see my darkroom skills
fnar fnar
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

*Googles HDR*
*understands*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

There's a lot of it on /board on a Sunday
I try not to look
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Meh
I can barely do anything except adjust the black and white saturation levels. I think you're safe with me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I just look at the pictures, me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

, of
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I'm sorry, what the fuck is that?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:44, Reply)

"I just look at the pictures of me"

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Overuse
of any cunt with an SLR who thinks they're a photographer. That bugs me no end.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Chompy
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Kroney, your entire post is correct
This bugs the fuck out of me too.

Also, red apples. Scary things....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

It is, isn't it?
I'm pretty clever, you know.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Yeah, lets just forget the whole poo thing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

artificial sweeteners
This may just be a biological quirk, but I can taste them and they taste vile. This make life hard as more and more 'normal' i.e. non-diet drinks have them in. "no added sugar" would be fine by me if it didn't in fact translate as "pumped full of artificial sweetener"
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

they are rancid
I can't stand them.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I have sweeteners in my green tea.
Two, in fact.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:38, Reply)

yeah, but we established ages ago that you're wronger than a pool party at Barrymores, mate.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

if he chose to put them in, fine
if bthe teabags came impregnated with the stuff some body needs shot.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

This^
I cannot drink diet pop at all. Tastes fucking horrible, like it is almost salty or something

(Expects spunk in drink lol)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Thank you.
This is crucial fact, and this is why I rage about tonic being more important that gin quality in a good G&T. Schweppes tonic has sweeteners as well as sugar and it fucking ruins it. Yet every fucking pub uses it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:40, Reply)

...you could just drink beer
Even I think G&T is a poof's drink.

Me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

mate, I play hockey. In pink socks.
I drink G&T. I have pale blue snowflakes tattoed on my back and a paw-print on my shoulder. I shave my head. I could out-gay you, blindfolded, with one hand tied behind my back.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:44, Reply)

how much would we have to pay
for a picture of you in the pink socks?

i don't mean just the pink socks or anything, or if that is the case, you can take the picture from the knee downwards please (on the safe assumption that this wouldn't show anything dodgy unless you are in fact hung like a jamaican)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)

free to those that can afford it
terrible expensive to those that cannot.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

excellent
fork it over.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

you'll probably have to wait until after the tournament this weekend.
It's not a picture I have to hand.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

don't worry, i can wait
i was going to say something about it being a picture i can keep to hand, but i couldn't make it make sense, so, you know. just don't get them too muddy. nice and pink, that's what we like!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:51, Reply)

It's our tournament so it's on the Scottish National team's two water astros.
There's not likely to be much mud.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

marvellous.
/looks forward to monday.

also, if any of your teammates (male only please) happen to have nice arses and/or legs, feel free to take pics of them too please, kthx.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

You wish to see a pic of badger's pink sock?
YOU SICK FUCK!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I have absolutely no idea how to respond to this
Um... bender!

Is that how it's done?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Capital, my dear fellow. Spot on.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Oh good
Wouldn't want to get something like that wrong. Not in this company.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Fuck off, G&T is the drink of gentlemen.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

The gay gentleman

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

The 'bentleman', if you will.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)

It really is time you stopped leading lusty on you know
and came out of the closet.

Tangent: Cuff links, Bent or charming affectation?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

If you're wearing a suit and a plain Windsor shirt
fine. If not, top cuntery.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I'm wearing a two-piece wasitcoat suit today and have cufflinks in my D&G shirt
Do I pass?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

possibly
I'm being facetious, anyway. Cufflinks without a suit are an absolute no-no. I don't particularly like them with non-plain shirts as I don't think non-plain shirts should have double cuffs.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

OH, that's be me being a cunt then.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

No, I think you'll find it's me that's being a cunt if you check carefully

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

i always notice nice cufflinks
the nicest pair i've seen were plain brushed stainless steel mont blanc ones, they were seriously sexy when worn with a crisp white shirt and a nice suit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I struggle to give a toss either way, it seems.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

*grabs shoulders*
*shakes*

are you all right, man?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

is it even a really a thing?
really?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Michael McIntyre
and I've still got no idea how I can possibly be in the minority on this.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I read an article about Stewart Lee having a go at him..
..and the comments section defending McIntyre was funnier that any stand-up he's ever done.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Stewart Lee is marmite, no question
But he has made me laugh. Ever. Which makes him better than McIntyre, as well as significantly less annoying.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

a vaguely related thing
I'm off to Edinburgh tonight - who's good to try and see?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:49, Reply)

The Mighty Badger
Otherwise, I'm afraid I've no idea who's on
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

*fives*
Cavy - sorry, not been to anything yet, too busy with work. Off to Sarah Millican next week, that's the only thing I've booked. I'll probably have a wander round on friday afternoon but that's a bit late for recommendations since you'll already be here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

ah, I've booked nothing so I expect I'll just see whatever
has tickets left and/or free. I expect I'll end up seeing some pretty bad theatre, but I can handle that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:57, Reply)

If it's a simple question of "who's good at stand-up?"
I have no recommendations other than the blindingly obvious, but if Mark Thomas is there I'd pop along
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

...and kick his fucking face in.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I was offered tickets for him tonight
but couldn't really spare the time. Most of the good standups will be sold out now though, it's a matter of word of mouth or taking a punt on something.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Paul McCaffrey.
I've known him since we were about 13 and part of his act is about a cruel lie I made up about him in 1991 which still causes him trouble today.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Not going
Elaborate

(I'm actually going to take this recommendation seriously as I'm a huge ran of the writings of your friend Andy Zaltzman)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

what, Monty knows Zaltzman?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I do indeed.
He's a lovely chap. Used to work with an ex of mine. I've enjoyed some cracking dinners at his house in Brixton. Not seen him for some time, mind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I told everyone that he I found him crying at a rave when Everybody's Free by Rozalla was playing.
Crying, with his hands in the air. This was and still is completely untrue in any way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

That's disappointingly rape- and child abuse-free

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

alright albert fish!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

i thought you said
you had a great time in america and it was the most successful period of pulling you'd ever experienced. EVER. you hypocritical hypocrite, you!

i hate tea and coffee. i have no idea why anyone would ever drink such filth.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

all hot drinks are cack, apart from saki/e? but booze is mostly good.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)

shush
you're still in disgrace for being horrid yesterday.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:43, Reply)

horrid yesterday
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Solipsistic humour
a much underused branch of comedy.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Haha also.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

isn't that existentialism?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Solipsism is, I think, an off-shoot of Descartian thought
that says that you could be a brain locked in a trunk at the bottom of the ocean experiencing an extended dream state with everything you see and hear being a construct of your mind.

Bobby, being being, is in disgrace.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:52, Reply)

the point being
that you've wasted your entire life in coming up with that? (not you personally)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Solopsism considers you to be the centre of the universe/only thing which exists
I think the question of his continued being and there for existence is existential. Unless of course he is considering that his being is the cause of everything which happened yesterday and today. In which case swipe was actually a self-hating extension of bobby's consciousness berating himself.

actually I like this better, now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Solopsism considers you to be the centre of the universe/only thing which exists
isn't this just being a MAN?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I have a T-Shirt that says
Is it Solipsistic in here or is it just me?

Yes it's solip, not solop
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Ah, cheers.

( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

RIGHT ON, SISTER!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I was referring to rachelswipe being the centre of the universe
which isn't far off her actual belief structure.

Therefore Bobby, by being, is proving to rachelswipe that she isn't the centre of the universe and is in disgrace as a result.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I don't know if I've been humiliated or not.
I imagine Einsteins missus must have felt like this.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

"all right, love,
I'll split your atom!"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

"E = mc squared
"Where E is your arse and mc is the square footage of the fucking MOON HAHAHAHAHA *snort*"
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

first click of the day

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I made myself laugh
because I'm a retard.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

rubbish
if i were the centre of the universe, it would be a much better place. believe me.

you can call it swipe-ism.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I wasn't horrid, you know you're my favourite legal bod.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Only 'cause Columbo is dead though.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

That was the previous time
when I barely set foot in restaurants, due to being 20 and poor.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:45, Reply)

oh ok
proceed, then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Oh I've got one.
Red Bull or energy drinks. And Jaegermeister or however it's spelled. Red Bull is fucking filth and I won't stand near someone drinking it. Even the smell makes me gag and I'll refuse to drink out of a glass if it's had Red Bull in it recently. Cos you can still smell it you know.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:48, Reply)

the glass smells like sick afterwards
like actual sick
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:50, Reply)

This is a very good shout.
And people look at me like I'm the weirdo when I leg it out the room when someone starts drinking it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

red bull is rancid
although I can't drink it anyway - too much caffiene
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:53, Reply)

It is pure filth.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Jagermeister is the one of the worst liquids known to man (second only to Black Sambuca, spunk of Satan himself)
Its consistency defies physics. I used to work on a "Jager bar" before Christmas last year - it exclusively sold Jagerbombs and triple Vodka-Red Bulls - and end up covered from head to foot in this layer of sticky at the end of every night. God forbid I forget to wash my hair in the evening and wake up stuck to my bed (this definitely happened).
(Charmander, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Vile.
How are you, by the way?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Pretty well actually.
No complaints. How's things chez Boyce? We should go for East London pints with Lampers soon, there's been no one to scream "MURDER" in my ear upon sight of a creep.
(Charmander, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I'd add snakebite and black to that list
the sticky floors of student unions put me off that for a long time.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

and the lurid vomit

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Don't lick them then

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I like jagermeister (not cold though. bleurgh) and don't mind jagerbombs
but energy drinks in general are fucking stupid. No one needs all that crap in their system.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Sometimes I really want to be left alone when eating
But in our local restaurant we have been going there for so long that the staff have become like mates and we spend most of our time chatting to them.

I dislike dolls and No Country for Old Men
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:54, Reply)

The Road (book)
was shit. Everyone was convinced it should be my favourite thing ever (apocolypse and shit) but it was dull and dire and I spent the whole time thinking "just DIE you boring bastards"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I also disliked City of God
But then I like Johnny Pneumonic so I cannot be relied upon as a good judge of films
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

There are two things wrong with this post
First of all, Cidade de Deus (I'MINTOFILM) is an incredible film.

Second, this shit film you like is actually called Johnny Nmemonic.

And it is shit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

it's Mnemonic
you just got it wrong
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I cannot tell a lie
I too got it wrong, but so did Darth so fuck it.
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Damn
In my defence, I haven't seen it in years. Because it's shit.

The man admitted to liking it in a public forum, I think that robs him of any benefit of the doubt he might otherwise have been entitled to.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:21, Reply)

a mnemonic is a thing though
not just the name of a film
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I know, I know. It's not a word I have any cause to use except in reference to the film, however
Honestly, you make one little spelling mistake...

Hope you had a pleasant birthday evening, by the way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

It's not shit
You are!
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

SO'SYOURFACE
Can we call this a no-score draw now?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:25, Reply)

If you blow me behind the bike sheds

( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:26, Reply)

It's not Friday yet, is it?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Friday Friday something something Friday, blah blah blah blah weeeeeekend!

( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Johnny Pneumatic
the heart-warming tale of a man that can self-inflate
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:22, Reply)

The sound of wine pouring
Makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, goes through me like a chainsaw through suicidal butter, all of that. Much worse if it's the opening glugs of a new bottle. Yes, I know I should enjoy this noise as it means wine is imminent, but I can't stand it. No idea why not. My sister is exactly the same.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Nonono!
It is the sweet sound of liquid sunshine.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:58, Reply)

repressed childhood sexual abuse.
it's the only answer and would explain so much.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

The father-in-law is a trained hypnotherapist
and has offered to try and get to the bottom of it. I refused, politely. If I have repressed memories they're repressed for a reason.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Also - Gambhir first ball duck. Getthefuckin.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Or even Sehwag. Even better.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Oh, it's better than that mate
Viru Sehwag, arguably the best batsman in the world, the missing element from the first two tests, Golden Duck. Broady is officially The Second Coming.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Perhaps you were both abused
in a wine bar??
I dunno, what am I? Your shrink, or summat?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 10:59, Reply)

drink it straight from the bottle, you nancy.
Two. birds. one. stone.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Often looked down upon as something of a social gaffe, old boy

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I can mimic the noise with my own throat
If we ever meet you will hate me.
( Peej, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:00, Reply)

h r
t p
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

You are officially menkle.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Unless I specifically want to talk to someone.
I hate talking to anyone. Ever. If I see a mate in town I'll go out of my way to avoid them. Everyone thinks I'm nuts, they're probably right.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:01, Reply)

You are a little weird.

( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Once I walked an extra twenty minutes on a longer route home so I could avoid talking to a girl I knew standing outside her house.
This is one of many examples. I just have no idea what I'd say.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:07, Reply)

This is bonkers
but, I approve.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I agree with you on this one.
Sometimes spontaneity is fine, but mostly it's awkward and inconvenient.
I never answer my doorbell. You want to come round you ring and make an appointment.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

^this
If you're at my door without calling you probably want to sell me something.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

*removes trousers*
*knocks on LiC's door*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

You'll get a chill and eventually go away
cursing your inability to parse a sentence.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I'm starting to think English isn't his first language.

( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Agreed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I hate three quarter length tracksuit pants.
I see no reason as to their invention. It's usually old fat bald headed guys that wear them too.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:03, Reply)

tracksuits, full stop, on anyone not warming up for sport, can fuck off.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I like Ralph Lauren hoodies for knocking around the flat/pub across the road.
Tracksuit bottoms however need to be wiped off the face of the earth.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

or women with big arses

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

So right here BGB
They are the ultimate pleb accessory
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

those albino/pigment free critters that you find in dark places.
They all scare me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Like those cave fish that are all transparent and without eyes?

( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:10, Reply)

exactly. They look like first attempts or something.
Unsettling.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

that's a good way of putting it
creator thinking "I won't bother with colour on these first ones..."
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I didn't want to say creator just incase I incited a riot
but yes exactly that!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I agree with you about service
same in shops when the assistants pounce on you as soon as you enter.

I don't mind them offering my help when I've been there a little while, but when you walk in you need to get your bearings and establish if they have the thing you are looking for.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:11, Reply)

This. I usually tell people "Yeah I'm fine."
Unless I actually approach the front desk and say "HEY I NEED YOUR HELP", I want to be left the fuck alone while I shop.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

It's greeters I don't understand,
their job is to stand at the front saying hello. What a bag of bollocks.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Oh Jesus, if you've read my thoughts on waiters and shop assistants
you can imagine for yourself my opinion on greeters.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

At my gym you swipe your card and walk through the turnstile, no human intervention needed
but the monkeys in polo shirts at the front desk always say hello, it's clearly an official directive. Fuck off, I'm here to be ashamed of my gut and perve at fit women in spandex, not have a chat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Bacon.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:15, Reply)

BURN THE WITCH

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:16, Reply)

my second favourite qotsa song.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Love you too sweetie.
ALso I don't float. I sink. Not enough body fat to float.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Eat more bacon then, that'll solve all your problems

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I don't like bacon though. I really don't.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Everybody knows that you're insane.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

if you edit this slightly we can get a whole qotsa song title thing going on

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Hey Bobby, have I ever told you about the time when I was a teenage hand model?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Shhh, you'll break the lost art of keeping a secret

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

you two are spoiling it.
I'm not playing with anymore.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

What's he on about, Apey?
Do you know? Does anyone?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

No one knows, I reckon
except maybe his little sister
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I think it's safe to say no-one knows what we're doing.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

We're all just too polite to say something about going with the flow
because then we'll have run out of song titles. Apart from Feel Good Hit Of The Summer. Which is just ungainly.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I absolutely fucking despise peanuts, the smell alone knocks me sick.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:18, Reply)

even honey roasted ones?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Any of them at all.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I am exactly the same mate
I hate them so much that I consider anyone who consumes them in a non-torture environment to be fundamentally wrong.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:23, Reply)

My mate keeps getting them at the quiz
I've told him if he wants them, he has to eat them outside, else I'll get twiglets.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Best of all the allergic reactions

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I hate marmite but like twiglets
what the fuck is that about eh?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:29, Reply)

That's a bit odd.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I've been called much worse but it is wierd.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)

It means you're wrong
BREAKING NEWS RIGHT HERE.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I love peanuts. they're yummy.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Chicken Satay please!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Then you have something in common with Ms Foxtrot

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Snoopy was a cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Blechh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I've never cared for peanuts
but I recently read they're the best thing to snack on for losing weight - since they're mostly protein and useful omega oils, or something. So I'm attempting to develop a taste for them starting with piri-piri ones and working my way down to unflavoured nuts.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

they are exceptionally high in calories and fat though
a small handful of raw, unsalted ones is all that ww would recommend

i fucking love the giant chilli or salt and vinegar ones that KP do at christmas.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Good fat though
As it says above "useful omega oils"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:44, Reply)

"or something"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Ah, but weightwatchers are cunts
A Purdue University study published in the International Journal of Obesity showed subjects who snacked on peanuts and peanut butter were shown to self-adjust their caloric intake spontaneously and did not add extra calories to their daily diets. After participants consumed the snack of peanuts or peanut butter, their hunger was reduced for two and a half hours!
weightloss.about.com/od/eatsmart/a/blppp_2.htm

Also
A moderate fat weight loss diet (rich in peanuts and high in monounsaturated fat) is better than the typical low fat diet for heart health because it resulted in a 14% reduction in cardiovascular risk, compared to a 9% reduction for the low fat diet.

Researchers reporting in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition compared the effects of energy controlled, moderate fat (33% energy) and low fat (18% energy) diets on cardiovascular disease (CVD) risk factors during a 6 week weight loss phase, followed by a 4 week weight maintenance phase, in 53 overweight and obese men and women.

Also also:

In a recent small study where people were given a daily snack of peanuts, researchers were surprised to find that no one’s weight changed significantly after many weeks, despite the extra calories. Why? Seems peanuts fill you up (thanks to the fiber, protein, and healthy monounsaturated fats) but don't necessarily fatten you up, because the fat and calories in the nuts aren't completely absorbed by your gut. Now, if only Girl Scout cookies worked the same way.

Lost in Digestion
More good news about peanuts: We may burn off the fats in them better than we burn off the fats in potato chips or cookies. Our bodies break down the monounsaturated fats in peanuts and convert them into energy more easily than saturated fats. (Here's another kind of oil that can help you burn fat better.)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I hate polystyrene
It's thw squeek it makes as it rubs against things *shudder*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:27, Reply)

yeah but it's not unusual...
to be loved by anyone
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

It is on here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Now you've mentioned it, it seems I'm the same!
Ugh ugh ugh
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Buying new technology is both exciting and horrific

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I dislike polystyrene too
but in my case it's because the little balls get everywhere and are so light they're almost impossible to clear up.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:33, Reply)

The balls are fine
it's the solid material that puts my teeth on edge
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

my friend has a similar loathing of cotton wool
for the same reason
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Nobody made a testicles joke.
I'm shocked.
( Kroney, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

A friend of mine has a similar problem with taking things out of the freezer
for the same reason.
Fucking pansy.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:37, Reply)

oh I hate this, too
I'm not bad now, but only because I keep very very little in tehre
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

right I'm off to get my arm coloured in
Adios fuckwits.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

don't flake out again

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I hate turning up at the end of a thread
to find that everyone has got bored and fucked off.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)

it's BECAUSE you turned up

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)