G-g-g-g-g'breaker. Guten morgen.
I had an amazing weekend, thanks for asking. I don't care about yours so shut up about it, OK? Seriously, no-one cares.

In this morning's paper I saw an advertisement for 'BEAR GRYLLS LIVE' at the Hammersmith Apollo. Eh? What's he going to do, survive in a concert venue for an hour? Or give a fucking lecture about 'survival'? If it's the former, fuck off Bear, I could do that (and in fact have done on hundreds of occasions), if it's the latter, who'd pay God knows how many pounds to go and see a slideshow'n'talk by some bent squaddie who has been proven to be a dirty lying cheater? What's going on, eh?

I'm being treated to a slap-up meal this evening featuring a main dish that is £44, which seems rather a lot. What's the most expensive thing you've ordered in a restaurant (apart from booze) and was it worth it?

Alt: Want to see some puppies?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:24, 188 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt; yes.
Morning Fruit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:27, Reply)

I haven't really got any puppies, I'm afraid.
It's a ruse to help me nonce up some kids.

Soz.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:28, Reply)

I want nonce worthy puppies.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:32, Reply)

You are Jerry Lawler AICMFP

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:44, Reply)

My main course at our standard 'work do' restaurant costs £17.85, that's probably about as expensive as I go
My weekend wasn't bad, helped my friend move in on Friday night, spent Saturday fixing the network at another house, turns out someone had been fucking with it, which had caused the problems.

Saturday night I was at a friend's 21st, that was a pretty good night.

Yesterday, did a little cooking, and pretty much fuck all else. Sadly, I didn't get to sleep until gone 4am, ao I'm shattered this morning.

There you go, I told you about my weekend, I'm a rebel like that!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:28, Reply)

You fucking RENEGADE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:29, Reply)

£44
Would keep Swipe in lunchtime salad for a week.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Almost

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)

How crass
Surely a man of your refinement does not ask how much a meal costs?
As a vegetarian I am consistently overcharged for any meal I eat in a restaurant. Vegetables are incredibly cheap. I don't care how poncey the preparation is or if you've topped it with goat's cheese or some other shite.

Alt: No. People who insist on showing pictures of their pets are idiots.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)

The price is listed on the menu.
He read the menu online *Holmes*
( wanderlust, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Did you see Sherlock last night?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:03, Reply)

I'm watching it now.

( wanderlust, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Tis rather good

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Morning Nonce.
I'm basing that on my experience of the last time someone asked me if I wanted to see some puppies.

If I can't talk about my weekend I have nothing else to say.

Sherlock was great though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Not shit Sherlock
or something. I dunno, it's early and I lack sleep. Anyway, I've never watched it. Don't mind me. As you were.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)

It was good, but last week's was better
I wonder if after next week, they'll kill the series off...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:03, Reply)

Last weeks was better, yes.
I did have a slight problem with Russell Tovey hunting giant wolf-like creatures, it was too close to causing a Being Human crossover...

Also, last weeks had Lara Pulver, so was always going to be better.

I doubt it will be killed off by the BBC, but it may be over anyway just because Martin Freeman is about to become huge because of The Hobbit and Benedict Cumberbatch just because he fucking deserves to for being brilliant.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)

My main problem was the fact he was screaming like a bitch the entire way through it, was really fucking annoying
Well, I know next week's episode is based on 'The Final Problem', which was originally the end of Holmes.

Cumberbatch really is excellent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)

I don't know the originals that well
Which one ended with him going over the waterfall?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)

It's OK, I googled it.
This was the waterfall one, so it wasn't actually the last one in the end, although it was supposed to be.

It's a smart one to use at this stage, because it gives a proper ending if needed, but room for it to come back if they can find a way.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Aye, just hope they don't try to stretch it out.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)

Monty, you do know that for that price, he'll want to have sex with you at the end of the night?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)

He's been allowing Stunned to do all sorts of vile things to him recently in the name of free booze.
Including take him up the arsenal
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Hahaha
I'm a whore for the lagers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:08, Reply)

I'm counting on it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)

Oh shit, I must have spelt the poster wrong, the whole thing is a bear being grilled on a spitroast by heston bloomingtile.
I'm watching in the telly the premier of this new "War Horse" film, they took a film to the permier, I'm not convinced it's the same horse as in the film, and I don't see how that would be allowed into the cinema when the only other animal allowed is blind dogs.... do blind people go pictures? Do they get cheaper tickets? They're not using as much electricity (no need to project an image for them) so they should get it for cheaper.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:05, Reply)

It costs more
The entire film needs to be transcribed into braille and they all need to be able to reach the screen in order to read it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Trigger the horse stayed at the Adelphi Hotel in Liverpool when Roy Rogers came here.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)

I dont even care if this is true or not
It is excellent!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)

PHOTOGRAPHS
www.bbc.co.uk/liverpool/localhistory/journey/lime_street/adelphi/roy_rogers.shtml
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Amazing!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-16460272

I see Gonz must have run out of garlic
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Stupid bus

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Fungus The Bogeyman stayed at The Palace in Manchester
judging by the smell when I stayed there a couple of weeks ago.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)

'There is a horse in my cabaret suite'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Dapple be the waiter

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:19, Reply)

I would bridle at that

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)

Don't stirrup trouble

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:31, Reply)

maybe a bit

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)

Don't order the Hock.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:47, Reply)

it gives me the trots

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)

I didn't like shanking my money away.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

It might have been a guide horse
I am sure a while ago I saw something about people getting guide ponies which was fucking wierd.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)

I hope they have all their badges

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:20, Reply)

+ r
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Like the jews?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Having a nice meal for two in Rome many years ago
Langoustines in champagne sauce, the works. Cost almost 200 euros.

Ooops. Next night was the Italian equivalent of McDonalds. Two starts, two mains and one bottle of red for 20 euros.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)

I had the tasting menu at Purnells, that was £75
I may have mentioned it at the time.

Alt: fuck puppies, that's old news. Kids today probably want Justin Burner merchandise or summat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:21, Reply)

I intend visiting the Fat Duck for my 40th

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:23, Reply)

They don't serve chips and gravy I'm afraid

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)

*cancels*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)

ooh, I wouldn't mind doing that
That's the menkle one with bacon icecream and liquid nitrogen, isn't it?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Yep
My friends have been and the pics are hilarious! His missus got a bit confused and actually ate a menu card, thinking it was part of the dish
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
Commoner.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:47, Reply)

It was the instructions for the mad hatter's tea party thing he does!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)

My brother-in-law's best mate works there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)

*makes note*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:30, Reply)

I also had a lovely weekend with my daughter, who was utterly perfect
Ray Mears would haev Bear Grylls ina fight any day, simply by sitting on him, then eating him and using his skin to make a canoe.

Twenty odd quid probably, I find that the correlation between quality of a meal and price is not always straight and true.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:21, Reply)

My mate Andy is the absolute double of Ray Mears

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:23, Reply)

Can he make a game boy out of bark and fish guts?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)

No, just a PSP

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Quite so.
My father forked out the best part of a grand on an 8-course meal cooked by Michael Caines for his 60th. I didn't really like it at all - much too salty. I then vomited on the croquet lawn.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)

I say!
*drops monocle*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:28, Reply)

How many people know that?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Not a lot, I'd wager

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)

You didn't give him a hand afterwards then?
Hahahahahaha!

I've had a Wagyu steak that was just shy of £100. Tasted like good steak.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Is that from the arse-massaged cows?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Yeah, fed beer or sake or summat too.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)

You're only supposed to blow the bloody chunks out.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)

lolz

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)

popular page this shit
badger doesn't get to be funny very often
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I suppose it's a marginally more appealing show
than Bear Grylls Dead?

It'd probably be some form of cow but I doubt it was much more than 50 notes. If I'm going to eat an extremely expensive ingredient I'd rather cook it myself to be sure.

Edit - actually I think I spent marginally more than that on Sea Urchin in Maritius. A lot of money for slightly salty snot.

Alt: Why, yes, I would. But that rag smells a little funn..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Are you a better cook than professional chefs?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)

not necessarily.
Because I doubt I'd last 5 seconds in the pressure of a professional kitchen. I'm certain I'm not as creative as most good chefs either. However, technique wise and in terms of following a recipe, I'm good enough, yeah.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Could you win 'Ready, Steady, cook'?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

If by "win"
you mean "get out of the studio without slaughtering them all"

then no.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)

what's going on is that the general public are thick twats who will go and see anything
restaurant - probably wine at about £200 a bottle, and whilst it probably was, i was so cunted that it might as well have been water.

hmm, normally you are asking me to show you my puppies...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Apart from booze?
Are you hungover?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

no, just a total flaming rebel
i have given up drinking anything other than water for 100 days. today is day 4. it must be the detox catching up with me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Nice! 100 days is a lot though. It's also
far worse to detox and cold turkey instead of cut down.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

i have a calendar with big black crosses on it
so far i have 3 lonely little crosses shivering on it. urgh.

the booze isn't a problem, i can happily take it or leave it. but the diet coke... MAN!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

it probably takes about 2 days to detox
so you are all done, well done
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

and it's fucking pointless and does the body no good.
but, otherwise, yeah.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)

hmmmm i have to disagree here
i think the kind of urgent "eat seaweed and drink unicorn piss to lose 7lbs in a week" detoxes that you see in magazines are pointless.

but i mean that i am cutting out bad things like diet coke, chocolate, chips, alcohol etc for 100 days. this can't be pointless!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)

That's not "detoxing" that's living more healthily

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)

yeah
that's probably more accurate. not quite as snappy though.

which is more than can be said for me, on the 4th morning of diet coke withdrawal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)

well, no
it's living more healthily for 100 days and then pissing it immeadiately all up the wall straight afterwards but somehow feeling self-righteous that you've achieved something.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)

no, it's pointless.
if you cut it out two days a week for the rest of your life, that has a point. Cutting it out for a short period of time then going back to it is a complete waste of time.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:32, Reply)

there are loads of reasons not to drink diet coke, though
it's really bad for you. plus i'm pretty stubborn, and i've set myself this challenge, so.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Also, it tastes like shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Probably at Le Gavroche - a tasting menu. Sadly
in those kind of establishments only one person usually gets the menu with the prices on.

I've personally paid approx 50 quid for a tasting menu at Morgan M and then an extra 50 or so for matched wine per course. I would recommend it to anyone. Amazing.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

these things generally suck if you're vegetarian though
oh, you can taste the bread rolls. and the.... tablecloth?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Don't be a loser then.
Get with the meat eaters.

I had a lovely Ox cheek stew yesterday, made with stout. Fucking nom.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

I had ox cheek pie with kale mash, it was epic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Tesco ox cheek? £6 a kilo.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)

*buys*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Morgan M has a garden menu for invalids.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

hmmmmmmmm
*googles*

your story checks out
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Just now I went to get my deposit back from my old place, and they ask me if I want to interest or not.
WHO THE HELL WOULD SAY "No, I do not want 5 years on a big sum of money worth's of interest? Please keep it" ?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

because you then have to declare it for tax purposes
and then it gets more complicated
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Oh, is this like if it takes someone over from one threshold into another?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Let's say it's £100, how much do you think I'd get? It didn't tell me what rates it was.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

22p

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

nice dubs

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Just trouser it and don't worry. Put it into a savings account, that way you will pay some tax on it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

This man speaks the truth.
I'm not saying you shouldn't trouser it, I'm only pointing out why they asked.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)

you'll get no more than 0.5%
so 50p per 100 quid per year I imagine.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

So that'll be £2.50 for 5 years?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Or is it one of those things where it's
Year1: £100.50
Year2: 0.5% of £100.50
Year3: 0.5% of 0.5% of £100.50
....etc....
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

no
it's because you've earnt money (the interest) and you have to pay tax on it. If it's in a savings account, the bank does it for you. But since it's not, you'll have to pay it, which means you'll have to start doing tax returns. If you already do one, no worries, but if you don't, it might not be worth the couple of hundred quid interest to then have to fill in a full tax return every year for the rest of your life (well, the ten years until they realise you don't need to again)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

I have to do my tax every year anyway, so that's cool.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)

They are obliged to keep the deposit money in a separate account under the legislation.
Your money, your interest.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

what is the % based on?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

The proportion of B3tans who think you're a bent spastic.
(the answer is 100%, by the way)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Ker-ching

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

the lowest they can possibly get away with
0.5% would be standard.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Alt: No.
I got kittins on Saturday morning and they are the CUTEST things ever.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

POIDH

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)

don't have pictures yet.
Their names are Frankie and Phoebe.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

omg kittumz

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

It's £40 a fucking ticket to see Bear Live.
I know this because my son has become very fond of the man and thus I will be travelling to Brighton on the day before his birthday to see the aforementioned performer with him. I shall faithfully report back on what he actually does, just for you Monty.

STill, it'll probably be better than either Hannah Montana The Movie or Chipmunks 2, The Squeakquel, both of which I have sat though out of paternal love.

Come to think of it it'll probably be more fun and likely cheaper than taking him and 10 of his little friends (one with tourettes, wish I'd been warned about that) to Pizza fucking hut.

Alt: yes please Uncle Monty.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Pay for 10 kids that aren't yours to eat in Pizza Hut?
Ouch!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Probably half of that
His mother (or more likely her mother) would have paid the other half. One of the advantages of divorce being a slightly fairer distribution of who pays for what.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)

hahaha!
I hope he/she is a swearer.
( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)

Hence Pizza fucking Hut

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:32, Reply)

I had a gormet set menu in a little restraunt in the South of france
it was about £80 when there was a good exchange rate
but I got lobster, foie gras, truffles wrapped in goats cheese then deep fried, muscles, creme bruele and a bottle of wine, so it was worth it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Oh man, that seems like my ultiamte menu.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Except I don't really like wine, can I have some Robbinsons instead? I like red flavour over orange.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

There was actually a really nice salad as well but I didn't think people would care.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)

How was the fois gras and lobsters done?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Fois gras was done in three ways I think,
one it was just as is, second slice was fried in seasoned butter then there was a pate of Fois gras all with nice warm bread.

Lobster was boiled then cut open and grilled with a breadcrumb and herb crust on the top twas good.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)

I am now masturbating.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

I'm lolling because I've just heard about Anthony Warrell-Thomson

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)

Why nick cheese?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)

What, is he dead?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)

*prays*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Nah he's been caught shoplifting Cheese and wine from Tescos.
Gill hit on the REAL issue YEAH!

If that was you or me we would be in jail. celebrity you get off
- gill, manchester, 9/1/2012 9:30

Those prisons are full of people who shoplift about a tenner of stuff.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Hahah good one Gill.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Finger on the pulse that one!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:32, Reply)

i was given 5 to life for shoplifting a staedtler staple remover

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:47, Reply)

STOP ADMITTING YOUR CRIMES ONLINE YOU PRICK!!!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:54, Reply)

but admitting crimes online is rexel-lent

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:57, Reply)

in cumberland

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:05, Reply)

i saw some eels living inside a sea cucumber on tv last night
looked like a big horrible anus
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:07, Reply)

how big was the cucumber that it could fit eels in it and still look like an arsehole?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:09, Reply)

fucken massive
looked about 5ft long and as big as a barrel

just like *chubby b3tans name here*
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:11, Reply)

You'd be quicker deleting the non-chubby b3tans

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:13, Reply)

oh right
fucken massive
looked about 5ft long and as big as a barrel

just like roota, only with fewer eels in its craw
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)

That's plenty, Quentin

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Your TV wasn't switched on.
That was your reflection.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:16, Reply)

i don't even have a tv

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)

That reminds me of this
www.geek.com/articles/chips/man-attempts-to-turn-monitor-into-a-mirror-by-scanning-a-mirror-20091127/
(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Muscles, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

From the annals of tech support this morning:
"Hi, I have changed your password to xxx"
"So I put that in the username field?"
"No, in the password field."
"So it's my usual username?"
"Yes"

Please convince me that not everybody in the world is a moron.
( Kroney, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)

yeah, this place will do that
see for example the clown above who thinks that he got served "muscles" in a restaurant. who was cooking, hannibal lecter?

face - palm
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)

It could have been a Belgian restaurant

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

LOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

What he meant was the bill arrived and he couldn't pay
so the chef treated him like a fois gras goose, but with his dirty french cock instead of corn.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

I am lolling hard this morning.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)

it's certainly quite an image

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)

You could make it happen, after all you are the Cock Fairy.
I don't reckon you went to Barbados, I think you were doing panto in some Northern town.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Oh no she wasn't

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Aye, Purple Aki was gutted.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)

Haha!
He was just mentioned in our office about 5 mins ago
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Pop or slash!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)

No, it was Armin Miewes.
The dish was 'cock au vin'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)

with garlic, apparently

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)

i like to think of myself as living proof that not everyone in the world is a moron
most are tho
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:00, Reply)

I have simple tastes, food wise, so probably about 20 quid.

( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)

I'm just a tight cunt
tight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Ouch!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:37, Reply)

I'm in a right fucking fettle today
So yes, I am a cunt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)

This.
Food really means nowt to me, I just eat the healthiest and most filling stuff I can. My diet is tremendously bland.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:39, Reply)

You must enjoy eating something though?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:40, Reply)

Microwaved fillet of beef

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Nommy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:42, Reply)

Well yeah.
But I don't care enough to fork out for it if it's costly, I just eat basics to keep me going init. I am addicted to olives though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Totally addicted to bosana

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:48, Reply)

WHOA-WO-OHHH

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Minge?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Not really.
Mostly because I ain't got a clue what I'm doing.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Oh dear.
Get a book or something. A man should not go through life without this knowledge.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:03, Reply)

This will come with experience.
No pun intended.
( girlinthehole, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:19, Reply)

i have never paid for food
alt: no, I'm not easily taken in by false promises
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Apart from the promise of free food obviously.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:28, Reply)

well those aren't false promises
like last week, i got a kipper for tidying my room
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:30, Reply)

Genuinely lolling at this one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:33, Reply)

phwarrghh
Puppies.

If you show me yours, I will show you mine.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 11:54, Reply)