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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What do you want for Christmas OT?
A 'computer game' or some grizzly bear slippers maybe, or just the desperate hope for a little human contact.
Alt: best piss altering altering vegetable
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:51,
267 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
fucking hell nakers, you're such a child.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:53,
Reply)
NO YOU ARE
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:54,
Reply)
NUHUH YOUN AR!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
NNNNGHGNNHGGHHHH U rraaaRRR
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
WERST THRD EVA!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
:( too far jumpers
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
Home brew stuff,
specifically a second fermenter with a bottom tap and "little bottler" and maybe a pressure barrel as I might start putting things in kegs rather than bottles.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:53,
Reply)
You'll have your own micro brewery at this rate
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:54,
Reply)
Then everyone will be my friend!
(
PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
A flawless plan to buy some friends
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
That's why windy pig runs a pub.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
I keep asking for this and still none of you have bought it for me.
www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=40611
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
why the fuck would anyone spend £85 on that?
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
Also buying second hand is taking money from the Artists, so it's theft.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:01,
Reply)
Pretty sure they're all dead.
And this is not second hand.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
Because they would enjoy the music on it?
Anyway, I'm asking someone else to spend the £85 on it for me.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
Looks like something a prick would ask for
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:57,
Reply)
I'm asking for it, aren't I?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
Worse than Nakers!
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:58,
Reply)
He really is the cress pubed hemp prick
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
Surely that's banned under the "mental torture" bit of the ECHR and Geneva Convention? ?
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:00,
Reply)
Alt: YOU.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:56,
Reply)
*applause*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:00,
Reply)
I'd like to wear your Mrs like a wet fishy cock warmer.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
really? REALLY?
have you seen his mrs?
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
Seen?
I've had her.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
At least she has two tits
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
You and Stunned?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
I WAS ASKING A QUESTION WHY YOU GOTTA PLAY A PLAYER LIKE A MEANIE?
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
shit thread nakkers mate,
but I couldn't be in the last, so I thank you for starting a new one.
I'm hoping to see my family in Christmas day for the first time in years.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 13:59,
Reply)
I bet they are dreading it.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:00,
Reply)
the cunts will probably make me cook.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:01,
Reply)
Get curry.
They are always open at Xmas.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
I'd love an Indian banquet as a change from Turkey
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
What is wrong with a Turkish banquet?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
It keeps getting shelled by Syria.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
The prawns keep getting shelled.
Hahahahahaha.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
Godless bastards.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
why's that?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:01,
Reply)
because it was all about pubs and bars and I am sick of hearing everyone bang on about how to do it.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:02,
Reply)
I talked about a greasy spoon.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
good for you.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
GO READ AND REPLY TO MY BIT THEN
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
cos you run a pub?
what's that like?
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
I love it quints,
people, music, atmosphere. there's always stuff to fix and mend and sort out. beer to look after, events to organize all sorts. very rarely bored.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
what do you think your pub would be like if you had £500,000 for improvements and to get it exactly how you want?
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
A dancefloor that's basically a 40' x 40' picture of my face
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
no, why ain't you seen the fam for years?
is it cause you work over crimbo?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
yeah, I've decided to close Christmas day and boxing day,
looking at the sales from the last couple of years, it's barely worth it anyway, and it'll keep the staff happy.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
aye, good plan windles.
smashing times then! should be a blast, you gonna have mrs pig's folks round too?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
her parents are divorced,
and her dads a psycho. so maybe her mind.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
still, your folks and all that.
aces!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
I am excited
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:22,
Reply)
I just made a sweet potato, bacon and sweetcorn chowder, Windy
and I don't want to oversell it, but it's probably the best thing anyone has ever cooked ever.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
can you post me some plz
also, have you been sacked or something?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
Sacked? Moi?
They wouldn't DARE!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
you can tell me haters, you seem to be in the house lots these days... cooking.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
Nah, I've been working from home a lot more lately
and I really love cooking. Shame I never get to show it off really.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
Be a guest riter on Gonzs bloog
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
cooking is aces. I liked the actual work when I was a chef but the hours were wank.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
Yeah, I've always said that in an other life I could've been a chef
But I'm far too lazy to work the sort of hours that I'd need to do. I just love food and love being creative, so it suits me down to the ground.
Also, Mrs Hats is a master of desserts, so between us we eat really fucking well.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:16,
Reply)
plus it's fun to cook together.
unless your missus is a fucking nightmare that is.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
We have a special understanding
that when we're in the kitchen there's no such thing as manners, so don't take it personally. 'Fuck off' basically means 'I'm ever so sorry darling, would you mind awfully moving away so I can use my space more effectively?'
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
sounds reasonable.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
I love cooking, but, same reasons, I would never be a chef.
I was so proud of my dinner tonight. SO healthy and yummy at the same time.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:19,
Reply)
Nice
This is the thing...our cooking was born out of A) a desire to eat a bit better and B) spend less money at the supermarket. As a result the only things that come out of packets in our house these days are herbs and spices.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
Pretty much the same here.
Except for the gluten free pasta/bread. That I have to buy.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
Ah, allergic?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
quite sensitive now, which is pissing me off.
I never used to be, but started to feel unwell about 18 months ago all the time, mentioned how I was feeling to a friend who I didn't know was coeliac, and he said to try removing gluten. Took it completely out of my diet for three weeks, felt amazing. Reintroduced it, felt awful.
Thought I could get away with it on monday when my mate cooked me pasta for tea. I ended up looking four months pregnant and being so uncomfortable I couldn't get to sleep til after midnight.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
Man, that sounds pretty serious
Still, as you say, there are a lot of gluten free products out there now. Imagine how these people must have had to live 20 years ago or more. Must have been terrible.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
the most annoying thing is that my parents don't believe me.
so when I go home to visit, they're like, "Oh, we've got pasta for tea tonight!" and I'm like, "is it gluten free?" "No" "well I can't eat it then." "SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DINNER."
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
Haha, mothers are the least sympathetic creatures on the planet
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
no, my mummy loves me, she just doesn't believe me because I'm not diagnosed as coeliac.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
Then either get diagnosed, or SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DINNER
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
there's a difference between coeliac disease
and gluten sensitivity. Coeliac disease is caused by a genetic mutation, whereas gluten sensitivity is usually brought about by a long term exposure to gluten and a corresponding immune response. you can't test for the gluten sensitivity, only for a wheat allergy or for coeliac disease mutations.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Sounds like a fake illness if ever I heard one.
Like depression.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
Or PMS
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
When I'm with Mrs Hats
she eats well.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:19,
Reply)
Well she is on a diet
so small portions are acceptable
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
excellent!
how you doing at the moment big guy?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
yeah, alright love
Had a fucking diverticular attack this week, but it's only the second one I've had all year, so I'm doing ok really. Last year I had 6, and one of them landed me in hospital.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
is that the thing where your intestiney bits are all fucked?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:16,
Reply)
Yep
There's a part of my lower intestine that is prone to infection, and it's triggered by certain foods. However, I've only managed to identify one so far....hot dog sausages. So my love of hot dogs is in direct conflict with my desire to stay alive :(
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
what about the operation? not willing to give that a go.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
I talked it over with a specialist after I came out of hospital
and she said that the operation is pretty risky and very uncomfortable, so we're only going to go down that route if the attacks get more frequent or more painful. A year of wearing a colostomy bag? No thank you.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:20,
Reply)
still, a portable toilet does have some pluses.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
Don't get me wrong, the prank potential is fantastic
I knew a guy that had to have one, and he would release the gas at really great moments...like just as he was getting out of a lift.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
I heard,
what sets it off?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
This time round, I'm not sure
I think it might be the chili covered peanuts I ate the other day, but I'm not sure. It's the only thing I've had lately that I wouldn't normally eat.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
you be careful out there.
the operation sounds a bit much, but like you say, .2 this year, that's good.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
I'm invincible, Windy, you know that
but I love you all the same
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
shame your colon looks like a sausage made of grapes.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
Well we're all disappointed about that, Psychochomp
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Ribbed for your pleasure
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
I swear there is a link between times of the year and people who have long term illnesses flairing up.
I always get bad at this time of the year.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
Logicaly, it could be because the diet changes over the year.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
Help to help sweet cheeks
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
i'd quite like a onesie
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:01,
Reply)
Your Mrs nearly ended up with a onesie.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:03,
Reply)
i'm sorry i'm sure i don't understand?
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
Uniboob.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
her breasts have a degree?
sorry i'm really not getting this
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
Oooh, that's evil!
He means your Mrs nearly went to Amazon.
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
in Brazil? none of this is making any sense and to be honest i'm getting a little pissed off
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
I really hope I get
a big, red, India-rubber ball.
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:04,
Reply)
So you can go to the park to play with Frisbee adam?
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:06,
Reply)
I'm not that good with a Frisbee...
(
Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
And maybe a big chewy bone?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
Yes please!
And some candy and a box of chocolates too, please!
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:14,
Reply)
Peace on Earth and a fucking Scalextric
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
I've got a brilliant scalextric.
I've used it about 5 times. I am waiting until my nephew gets a bit less stampy.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
What cars would you like best?
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
A Yellow Datsun Sunny estate and a green Hillman Avenger
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
Hillmann Avenger
My dad had one in his garage - we never saw it move. We used to pretend we were spies or something and pretend to drive it.
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:18,
Reply)
he used to lock you in the garage when his mistress was around didn't he.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:20,
Reply)
"time to play spies boys"
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
It's good, but...
he had one of those big double garages and I remember he had to fix the roof, so one summer it was all open and I was allowed up late. I remember being able to get on the roof, jump down onto the aforementioned Hillman and slide off the bonnet - great fun to a young boy!
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
man i'd love a scalextric
i saw one last christmas that had the old and new aston martins from james bond on it, well cool
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
I've got an Aston and a Porsche.
The Porsche is so rapid it doesn't stay on the track!!!!
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
all scalextric cars are too fast for the track if you hold the thing down all the way
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
I can't helps it, Quintsy.
It's so funny watching them fly off under the Baby Grand or into the scullery.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
I had a Lotus, JPS black and gold Formula 1 style.
It would do the same - absolutely destroyed the other cars though - we had to ban it in the end!
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
unless you have the magnatraction ones, but they're boring. No skill.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
i used to have one you could put little plastic walls up around the edge of the track
and i'd ram the cars right into them at full speed and brake the walls
and the cars
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
and i'd make my brother and sister touch the track and then shock them
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
Evil...
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Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
Try running the track up and down the stairs
also jumps, and a touch of WD40 on the chicane to make things interesting.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
have you ever played fireopoly?
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
Is that the insurance scam version?
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
basically every time you roll a six somebody pours lighter fluid on your piece and sets it alight
but you still have to take your turn
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quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
BINGO!
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:15,
Reply)
Enough games
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
I really want to go home and visit my family.
BEETROOT. I had some last week, and it made my pee go pink! Not even kidding, or caring about oversharing.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
You'd be suprised* at how many people seek health advice about blood in their urine after eating a bunch of beetroot.
*probably not, people are stupid.
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PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:15,
Reply)
People are very stupid.
blood in the urine doesn't make it pink, it makes it look ... tea/rust coloured. And it is really painful to pass.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:17,
Reply)
pickled beetroot does go a much darker red than you'd expect.
(
PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
I'm asking for either a good griddle pan, or a good sized La Creuset this year.
Alt: No idea, but I've started loving broccoli again, does that count?
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:22,
Reply)
I have a le creuset griddle pan, it's heavy enough to kill a horse with
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
You should keep that on your highest shelf.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
Me too. It's the only thing you should cook steak in.
Get the fuccker nuclear hot and away you go.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
One housemate managed to pick up 3 Le creuset pans for less than £10 from a charity shop
He's an utter bastard.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:35,
Reply)
it's a fucking saucepan, grow a pair mary.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
Asparagus. I ate it a couple of years ago for the first time that I can remember.
I went for a wee and thought I had contracted diabetes.
(
Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
yes, cos diabetes is so contaigious.
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Poppet some assembly required., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:40,
Reply)
at the rate he eats it's not gonna take that contagious to get diabetes
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
Contracted, developed, whatever.
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Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
A Tefal Actifry !
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
The ability to be 2 places at once.
As otherwise I have to either disappoint my GF who is really in to Christmas or leave my mother totally alone at Christmas. both would understand, but I'll feel shit either way.
Alt: Beetroot. never mind pink my piss was blood red and I was very worried for about 30 seconds. Also the neoon yellow when you've been taking berrocca is fun.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:41,
Reply)
How about inviting your mum to your girlfriends?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
I had thought of vice versa, but this also could work...
CHeers Gonzgam
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
Don't make it the first time they meet though, might be a bit much.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
I was thinking of doing just that
and then proposing on xma eve, when there was no possible way of geting home...
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
Get her name tattooed on your chest first.
Then rip your shirt off just before you propose.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
Chest? pussy
I'm having it done the length of my dick.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
Her name's "Jo" then?
(
PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:57,
Reply)
Persephone as it happens
I might have to include her surname to cover the whole length.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
Persephone? Speaking as someone with a wanky ponce name, That's a very wanky ponce name.
(
PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
yeah, it's also made up for the knob-gag
like I'd tell you any real details of my life.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
Better hope her name's Vi.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
"Welcome to Jamaica, please enjoy your stay".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
Is your mum ready to get married again though?
SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
If she was i'd suggest you Gonz, you'd mak an awesome step dad.
Actually I was trying to pimp you out to my ex-wife the other day bt she's mooning over some pretty-boy musician type.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
I can play different notes on the violin now ! It's just a matter of time before I'm playing this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvGRl1_I-no
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
Excellent, when he inevitably fucks her over and she's feeling vulnerable I'll give you a bell.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
He'll set them up, I'll knock 'em down.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
Sounds good to me. Hope you want kids.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Do they do anything good?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
depends on the child.
if they're yours and hers they should be able to cook at least.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
down up
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
Which one is most likely to have sex with you?
Maybe you'd be better just staying on your own?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:44,
Reply)
There is this
and by virtue of being either single or with someone who hated christmas or was out of the country at the time I have spent the last 3 christmasses with my mum.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
fuck off with your christmas shite, it's not even halloween yet
tell us about mini-ape's halloween costume instead.
i love jalapenos and fresh chillis, but if i have too many, i feel like i am pissing fire for about the next 4 hours. are chillis a vegetable?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
It's a fruit, isn't it?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
I don't mean your ex.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
Oh, I think you do...
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
Wasn't I?
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
is it?
oh no, i have totally missed the point of the question. might as well DMAAKM.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
seeds = fruit
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
ah ok
but with vegetables the vegetable itself is the seed?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Yeah. A cabbage is a seed. Good one.
(
Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
you're a fucking cabbage
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
no, it's a bulb
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
that's kind of what i meant
sad times for kroney when you understand me and he doesn't
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
but you should always make sure you get the bayonet cap kind
better for earthquakes
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
cabbages suck
let them all perish in the earthquake
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
the screwfit kind rattle themselves loose, see
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:28,
Reply)
let them get on with it
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
but then they smash on the floor
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
fruit, innit
coz they has seeds in them.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:13,
Reply)
my girlfriend's got a witches outfit and some black/orange striped tights
i dunno why, i don't have a costume and we haven't been invited to a party or anything
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
Time to break out the Officer and a Gentlemen outfit again, Quints
It looks as though little Q is on a Halloween promise.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
that's an excellent idea
women love sailors, just a shame it's not mutual
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
shame she didn't need the chop
you could have cut a hole in it and said "colder than a witch's tit"
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
i don't think this is funny
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
i'm not going to lie to you
nor do i, and nor does anyone else
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
i'm glad we all agree
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
it would make this place a lot more shit if we did that all the time though
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
i think if the majority of us agree on something, like the fact that PLMDZR is an unfunny cunt
we can all pull together and it'll be lol
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
the image of OT'ers "pulling together" is fucking rank
like the worst kind of scat, and walking in on your granny frotting herself to it.
with your wallet.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
always thinking about internet men wanking and shitting
you're obsessed
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
hey
who said they had to be men?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
do ladies "pull" when they're rubbing each other off?
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
i have no idea
but i am sure someone here has done their online research and can answer the question.
kroney?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
It's definitely pick on Kroney day today.
(
Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
every day is pick on Kroney day
sucks to be you.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
I do.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
yeah but you're an unfunny cunt
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
I am a funny guy IRL
Hence chicks digging me. Well, that and the great face etc.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
yes
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
what is the "etc" ?
12 inch schlong and rock hard pecs?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
the whole package.
*shrugs*
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
Do you not find the height is an issue?
Most girls like a taller man.
serious question, rather than a dig.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
nope
I'm not short and I'm not chippy about my height either.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
And half a top?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
Asda do a Jimmy Savile outfit.
I'm wearing that for my hallowe'en gig. Zombie nonce.
And speaking of Asda, I'm boycotting them. They were flying a rainbow flag from their head office yesterday.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
that's not why you should boycott them
you should shop at harrods, harvey nicks or waitrose at a push, like the rest of us normals
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
but harrods is shit
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
it's not as shit as asda, love
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
pretty much
harrods is an overpriced flea market
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
the food hall is ok
i was not being serious though. waitrose or whole foods get my food-related needs.
although not for the next month as i am back on the waaaaaaaaaah-ter diet today :(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:20,
Reply)
i hope eventually you die of some form of toxosis from living on nothing but water
you pleb
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
:(
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
Can you buy a tin of beans or some dishwasher tablets in Harrods?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
if you think i would have anything as revolting as a "tin of beans" in my house, you need to get new glasses
and my cleaner does my washing up with her first-born's hair, so no need for a dishwasher
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
It really is.
it's a pretentious Debenhams.
(
Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
no-one asked you, ugly
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
Why all the hate, Quints? Can't we work it out?
I still love you, man.
(
Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
i love you too, i just sometimes like to be that way
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
this doesn't sound at all bent, oh no
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
(flies his rainbow flag)
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
but Swipeypoos
A rainbow flag attracts gays.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
that should be your new sig
"NOT AS SHIT AS ASDA"
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
Yours should be
attracts the gays.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
isn't that the (w)hole problem... that i DON'T?!
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
You do though.
Silly gregg hat lad is as bent as a three bob note.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
you should be a therapist
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
Putting the rapist back in to therapist.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
What's with the sig?
Monty and Stunned hate me because I didn't go to their birthday party or whatever and you and Quint are calling me names.
I won't lie, I think I might cry.
(
Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
it just felt right
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
Listen to your heart.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
you will find... there's nothin' there to hide....
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
I like it better when we're all being mean to Nakers.
(
Kroney, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
YOU I'm ignoring.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
before she tells you good bye
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
Alt: Ernie Roberts
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
Bored with this now.
Can we have a new thread please?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
i already filled my quota
(
quintsy, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
Done.
NEW THREAD EVERYONE.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
Good man.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
There should really be a time limit on NA threads.
(
PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
Bout 30 nanoseconds
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 4 Oct 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
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