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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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pearoast:
Morning. For that is its name.

Today work is going to be a pain in the arse. One chap is on holiday and someone else has been off sick with that Jimmy Hill disease, you know like Battered has got?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:29, 325 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Oooh, a bad dose of the Chinny Reck-ons.
Nasty.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:53, Reply)
If I were you I'd get someone good at acting to ring the office in tears,
And ask for you, then you start crying after a but of a convo, and make sure in earshot of someone important "I loved him too, but I can't possibly leave, the office is empty and if I don't do my job hundreds may suffer" and then cry for a bit, excuse yourself to the bathroom, wait in the loo for about 10 mins, wash your face come back, sit down with a huge sigh and get on with work, but do it slowly. I'm sure no one will bother you, and if you see someone approach your desk, let out a sob, they'll soon fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:54, Reply)
Of course no one would approach him if he did that.
It's mental behaviour.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:56, Reply)
I might not go for this plan, would you be terribly offended if I don't?
There are one or two flaws in it which I don't think I can work around - primarily there's no one else in here at the moment which adds a whole extra layer of mental which I just don't think I'm ready for.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 7:58, Reply)
As above but video it and
show it to the next person to come in.
Off to Lightwater Vally with four grandcubs so can't help you further.
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:05, Reply)
But I was relying on you for lunch cover you cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:07, Reply)
Oh, yeah, no worries, do what you think best.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)
or he could do do a long poo in a ring around his desk

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)
Ah, the old 'wild west wagon-circle'?
Good thinking.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:26, Reply)
She looks like a sugar in a plum

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)
Morning? Already? Fuck.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:08, Reply)
I could happily go back to bed until monday.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:12, Reply)
I plan to do that from Friday.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:13, Reply)
I had that pencilled in for Sunday night, myself

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:13, Reply)
Do it, go crazy!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)
It's IS pretty wild, huh?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)
And I thought I was wild.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:16, Reply)
go on then

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:13, Reply)
Who's going to format excel documents for people not to read?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:14, Reply)
Gonz can cover you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)
I'm going to Milton Keynes today.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:16, Reply)
sta strong hun xxx

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:16, Reply)
I'm only going to check my route for Monday.
I'm a little scared I might never get out.
Also, I need a description of chompy so I can throw rubbish out of my car at him.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)
Think 'Kim Jong Il in a polyester leatherique blouson'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:19, Reply)
hahaha
that really is a beautiful image
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)
Have fun!

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:17, Reply)
Anything I should stop and have a look at?
Any sights you recommend? Somewhere nice for lunch fairly central?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:32, Reply)
Leighton Buzzard
Or St Albans.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:33, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:34, Reply)
Light lunch or big lunch?
Have you got any vouchers?
If you've got the time worth going to Bletchley Park.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:34, Reply)
No vouchers, light lunch, on my own.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:35, Reply)
It's worth driving past the Rothschilds' gaff
A more crass and vulgar display of extravagant bad taste you are unlikely to see. Getting It Wrong writ large.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:38, Reply)
I'll look it out.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)
If you know how to use a map,
www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g187055-d3174591-Reviews-Mii_U-Milton_Keynes_Buckinghamshire_England.html
this place is excellent for dim sum/noodles for less than a fiver.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:40, Reply)
but it's in the middle of a industrial estate attached to a chinese supermarket so, hard to find.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)
I can always use sat navigation.
Or is milton Keynes some sort of weird technological dead zone.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)
Sat nav will work.
Most people find MK pretty easy to get around, some just can't handle it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Are you calling me thick?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:49, Reply)
'IT 'IM WINDAYYYYYYY

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:03, Reply)
I had the rampant shits last night
Didn't let up til 1am, that was fun.

Ah well, today is going to be a better day than yesterday, at least.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:20, Reply)
Morning all.
We've got some cool, gangasta-like lads have moved in across the road from us. They've already had the po-po 'round twice, and now they've taken to playing music very loudly well into the night.

Does the board have any suggestions about how to deal with them? Preferably in a way that won't get me shanked for disrespeckin dem, blud.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:41, Reply)
Ask them politely?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:42, Reply)
They don't strike me as the sorts that give a monkey's fuck about politeness.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
It's quite impolite of you to make that assumption.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:48, Reply)
I agree. I just get that impression because of the police visits.
Which have been for domestic abuse.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:51, Reply)
EXCUSE ME watch your language please
it's 'a nig-nog's fuck' if you don't mind.

Kids read this site ffs
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:56, Reply)
When they finally are asleep...
break in, paint their lightbulbs black, so when they wake up in the evening after partying all night previously, and turn the lights on they will think they have gone blind.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Unless it's day time.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Pour petrol through their letter box and leave an anonymous note saying 'next time I'll add some struck matches if you don't turn the music down'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)
I like this.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Cut the mains electrical cable in to the house,

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:47, Reply)
And stick it into the petrol I've just poured through the letter box.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:48, Reply)
record a 'diss' track about them and have it played on your local pirate station
then escalate the whole thing into a postcode war with the mans dem, ultimately resulting in a fatal stabbing.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:49, Reply)
Maybe some chap-hop?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:50, Reply)
This also works for petty disagreements about overgrown leylandii or minor border disputes.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:51, Reply)
You've been watching 'Midsomer Murders' again aincha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:54, Reply)
John Nettles is so dishy, isn't he?
Why they ever cancelled Bergerac is beyond me.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)
There was an excellent one with Charles Gray and some Satanists once.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)
Just spray 'paedo scum' on their house. That'll do it.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:52, Reply)
I've actually considered this.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:54, Reply)
Then you should do it. It's a sign.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)
Superglue their locks

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
c+

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
so it's always PARTY O'CLOCK!

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Using the power of interprative dance, slice their throats whilst they sleep.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)
Morning.
Well I thought that chap was dead anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:42, Reply)
You fucking mug.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:00, Reply)
Just got a parking ticket for parking outside my own home, because Camden council haven't sent me my residents permit yet.
Permit required from 8.30am. Ticket issued: 8.33am.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)
The law is the law, Battered.
No exceptions.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)
Thankfully I'm not living in Brent borough anymore; parking fines are double those of Camden.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Did you have a note in your car explaining all this?

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)
Signed by your mum

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)
Morning Rory

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Or are you on the Psychic Traffic Warden route?

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Dunno how to help you then bud, soz

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
they go around before the time limit looking for people without permits
the cunts.

might be worth trying to ask for it to be cancelled. I've been let off 2 in London and 1 in Oxford by asking nicely
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:00, Reply)
I'll write to them, doubt it will make much of a difference.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Man alive!
Tube drivers being lazy and overpaid on the one hand and traffic wardens being efficient at their jobs on t'other. When will you Londoners ever get a frickin break man!
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)
don't forget the fact that we are supporting the REST OF THE COUNTRY
ALL OF THEM
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)
They're on performance related pay, aren't they?
You can't blame them for that.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)
You can blame them for being genetically predisposed to dishonesty, the Nigerian cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)
If they were all German you'd be applauding their efficiency

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Yes but they're not.
They're sweaty fraudsters from the fucking Congo - they're inherently crooked, you know.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)
Plus, smelly food.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)
look, your heart bleeds for all mankind, you have a rose tinted view of the world and people, i get that
but even you cannot stick up for traffic wardens.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Fucking hell you're looking particularly ginger on Facebook.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
fucking hell you're looking particularly cunty this morning

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Illegal parking is a scourge on modern society.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
there is a difference between illegal parking and a few minutes extra in a bay
besides, during the day, who gives a fuck, there's loads of spaces. it's at night when residents have nowhere to park!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
I tell you what
get to know your local traffic warden, invite him to a 'bash' and show him the secret handshake and Bob's your pervy uncle that still haunts your dreams! Once you've drawn a cock on an etch-a-sketch you never look back, mates rates innit.
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:08, Reply)
^ Listen to Reg - he knows his oats alright

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Typical Reg! *rolls eyes*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Mauning

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
There he is.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Tangs for the memory!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:24, Reply)
When Two Hats goes to war, a point is all that you can score
(Score no more, score no more)
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)
Made carrot and chick pea burgers yesterday, Tangs
Well nice
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)
Sounds well gay bruv

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)
Nah m8, well good innit

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)
No meat?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)
NO MEAT

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)
Jesus.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)
i fucking love chickpeas
i approve of this sort of thing
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)
THEY LOOK LIKE VOMIT

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)
that's your reflection

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)
I don't look like vomit.
I look like shit, thankyou very much Boyce.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)
YOU SMELL LIKE VOMIT

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
That's because I throw up when you're around as you are hideous.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)
now i know you're battered's sock

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)
The item you are looking for is under his bed, crusty and stiff.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
+is complaining of yet ANOTHER headache

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
In Berlin we had these Turkish courgette fritters which were really, really fucking good
I suspect you never cook but here you go anyway:
www.petersommer.com/turkey-travel-country/turkish-food-cuisine/mucver-zucchini-courgette-fritters/
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)
they do look good
i will consider actually lighting the hob for a change
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Sounds good.
As a side dish to lots of lovely meat.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Good street food snack

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
I like the Italian dish of stuffing courgette flowers with cream cheese & frying. Really good starter.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)
Had those in Rome, they're well nom

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)
They sound rather good indeed

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Meat's getting so fucking expensive, I'm seeing what I can do with fruit and veg
So far, so good. Got a little note book with all my recipes in it and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)
then see above for the old fritteroonies, they were delicious

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)
Oh nice one, cheers
Something we do from time to time, is use a speed peeler on courgettes to make loads of ribbons, then fry them off little bit, then stir through some pesto. Fucking outstanding.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
there's a restaurant in london that makes everything out of vegetables
you think you're eating tagliatelle, but it's actually ribbons of courgette, not pasta
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
no there isn't, shut up

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)
just joking!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)
that sounds good
I've done the old courgette ribbons raw with a light dressing as a salad before
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)
Courgettes also do really well on a barbeque, sliced lengthways, olive oil & rosemary.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)
I like NO MEAT meals, but not sure about veggie burgers. A step too far.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Were they the ones that were in the guardian a couple of days ago?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Maybe
I don't read the Guardian.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)
I was thinking about this
www.theguardian.com/business/video/2013/aug/12/jack-monroe-cooking-breadline-video
which is a carrot cumin and kidney bean burger.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)
Ah
Yeah, same sort of thing
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)
I must've missed your invitation to join you

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)
I got a "message read" confirmation, so don't give me that

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Curses!
I won't let you down next time, I promise.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Two Hats, to whooo

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)
Totes watching Transformers The Movie, Monts (the cartoon one)
Emvee'll do his NUT
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:28, Reply)
I hope you've a pad and pen at your side, so you can jot down the various attributes of said Transformers
in a bid to draw up a shortlist of your top ten characters.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Natch
Optimus Prime is already dead, so he's out.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Oh man......

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)
I have lots of little bits of work to do today
I dont mind days like this as I feel all productive. I am also off for Amstel at lunchtime and this makes the day better already
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Simon?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
I'd shank that smug cunt in his curly locked face

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)
He said it makes the day BETTER. So probably not.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)
He could have been off to duff him up at lunchtime?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
In which case I retract my statement until further information is provided.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
SC
Earl Grey?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)
I dont mind if I do, old chap

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Lemon?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Just a touch

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)
And what about the lemon?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Fuck the lemons, touch me you fool

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)
*defcon Bongle achieved*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
*squirts udders*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)
now about these lemons you want me to fuck

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
SP

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Earl grey tastes like soap

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)
shut up does it you fucking nob

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

grey Simmons
oap punk
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)
Green tea is the future.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)
the future of disgusting shit drinks which you'd do better to pour down the fucking drain, maybe

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)
See: Earl Grey

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
I don't want to hear about your disgusting homosexual dalliances with the aristocracy THANK YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Homophobe. Stonewall are going to hear about this!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
Oh no, Peter Tatchell might beat me up!!
STRIKETHROUGH OFF AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
I have to say they dont look bothered

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
They aren't the force they used to be.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
oh HO!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Black coffee is the future

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Something that hasn't happened yet is the future

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Prove it

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Disprove it, knob jockey

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)
The burden of proof is on you for your wild outlandish statements.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
up yours, nigger

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
Is this for now, or the 'future'?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
keep this up son and you won't fuckin have one

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Every time you resort to threats. At which point I consider myself to have 'won'.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
^ upset

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Pricks

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)
alright Bakie-noo?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:43, Reply)
Yer, not bad thanks
Beautiful day today and I think I might take a couple of days off next week so, things look alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)
Good lad

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!
Just fixed something that was hanging around like LiC at a nunnery
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Well done?
Is this a boring it thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)
VERY
but really fucking annoying.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)
what like Tamara Beckwith?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
She can have the same shanking as Amstel
purely for her voice
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Was it your chronic alcoholism?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Nope

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Was it your udder psoriasis?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Nope :o(

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Good morning hippy. I'm just awake has anything interesting happened?
Can't be fucked to read above.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
yeah apparently you're a nonce?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Allegedly, not apparently.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
^ typical nonce talk

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Shoegazes

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
I was mocked for being a miserable bastard.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)
cheer up 'Emo Phillips'! It might never happen!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
*cracks smile*

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
Feckless middle aged jobless goblin, why aren't you out looking to a job?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
Nah.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)
A bad dose of the chinny recks, you say.
You want some antibiotics for that.

Will you have to do some work today then?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
A soupcon

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Has anyone heard about this new band 'Kunt and the Gang'?
Man, they are well funny. His name sounds like 'cunt' when you say it aloud!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Ohmygod that's like a swear!!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
it's WELL swear!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Is it still a swear if it's not spelled like a swear?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
I...I'm not sure

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)
They were at Blackpool gig.
Not funny.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
If you didn't shit in a sock, then whirl it round your head like a pooey Amerindian bolas and hurl it into 'Kunt's' stupid face, then you fucked up big style.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)
I went to watch someone else.
Sorry Monts.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)
You've let yourself down, you've let /OT down.
But more importantly, you've let ME down.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)
There is a rugby club somewhere with its hopes dashed.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Unable even to muster up the wherewithall to run a train on Sarah Greene.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
SOS.
Really I'm sorry.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Now if you like your music with a comedy twist you need look no further than Digance and Carrott.
Proper entertainment - and no blue language neither.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:02, Reply)
I like Flight of the Concords.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)
They were good, but you still wouldn't listen to their album more than once if you were fool enough to buy it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
HAHA YOU BOUGHT IT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)
SHUT UP THEYRE REALLY WELL CRAFTED SONGS AS WELL AS BEING DEAD FUNNY

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
^ BOUGHT IT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
Benny Hill's Ernie did it for me.
And Black Lace of course.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Or Hill.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Now I admire Hill.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
I'm fond of Stephen Lynch

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)

Lynch Gately
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:22, Reply)
I saw them live in milton keynes.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:02, Reply)
Contradiction in terms though it is.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)
You go on about them a bit Mince, what's the beef?

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)
You can buy their entire back catalogue for just £65!!!!
www.kuntandthegang.co.uk/kuntshop.html
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)
Does anyone on here want to buy one of my kidneys?
I'll accept £65 for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Go on then. Put it on my tab.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
You must get through a fair few black market livers and kidneys

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)
I'll throw in a lung, seeing as it's you.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Have you got any internal organs that are worth that much?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
You'd be surprised.
The illicit 'freak show' scene pays top dollar.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)
'see the amazing 'still alive' man!!!'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
"So how's it look, doctor?" "Check again, Mr Boyce, are you sure you're still breathing?"

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Have you apologised to Sportscow yet?
He is WELL upset with you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Have I fuck

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:35, Reply)
Your internal organs are fucked. The Somalian donor service would refuse them.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)
Word up MB
Can't you just break the communications line's so there's no phone or computer activity and then spend the rest of the day on B3ta........

Wait...I've not really thought this one through have I?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
I could use my 'wap phone'!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:09, Reply)
You have an Italian phone?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
*cries*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:11, Reply)
COME ON KIDS LETS GET THIS SUCKER TO 300 REPLIES!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)
WOO!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)
YEAH!!! FREAKIN A, MAN!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)
best day ever

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Congratulations everyone.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:22, Reply)
You made that story up.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:19, Reply)
FUCK OFF DID I

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)
Office drone: "look at the size of this grape!"
Me: "that's a plum...you plum"

People are stoopid
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:22, Reply)
six did?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Fixed it!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:24, Reply)
They sure are

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:24, Reply)
you're very witty

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:24, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Oh dear everyone, Nakers has finally lost his mind entirely :o(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:24, Reply)
oh my mistake he's a sneaky ninja prick

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:27, Reply)
Now the needy fucker has his 300+ replies
can we have a new thread?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:24, Reply)
done!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:31, Reply)
I'm not feeling any better today. Thanks for asking.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:25, Reply)
No problem!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)

better taller
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:26, Reply)
NSFW
sarmai.tumblr.com/post/57774699811/6-pieces-of-pleasure
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:29, Reply)
:o(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:30, Reply)
Erm...I'm sensing that I should keep the reciept...

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 14 Aug 2013, 10:32, Reply)

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